Chapter 5

There is the splendor of this
Secret inside of me
And it knows that you're no stranger,
You're my gravity

Izzie let the words break open the recesses of her heart that had been reserved for him all this time. Alex flooded through her entire being. He loved her. He still loved her. After all she'd put him through, he had found a way to hold on. She wanted to marvel in the miracle of it all but she couldn't. Right now, with him looking at her, like he saw everything she was made out of; her past, present and future. How the hell did he do that? She didn't care. All she knew was she needed him. God, did she need him now more than anything she had never needed in her life. Without hesitation, she brought her hands up, framing his face, she let her lips gently meet his. She wanted to embrace him in his entirety but she also didn't want to rush this. It had been so long and his lips were so much softer than she remembered. She let the sensation wash over her, and for a second, she swore her heart stopped beating.

Alex let his eyes flutter closed as he felt the familiar taste of her on his lips. Izzie. He never thought he'd get the chance to taste her again. He brought his other hand up to rest on the side of her face and let the sweeter emotions, all of the tenderness that both had been unable to convey through all the rage, spill into what felt like blissful hours. Who knew they weren't lying about time standing still? The memories replayed in one magnificent flash of disbelief. Part of him was convinced he was dreaming… he didn't want to pull away. But he needed to make sure he wasn't, and… he needed air.

Her eyes remained closed for awhile, until she could balance herself by clutching to his waist. She could still feel the warmth of his hands on her face and it reassured her that she could open her eyes and he'd still be there. And he was. This was all so surreal. How could they go from yelling at the top of their lungs to this in a matter of seconds? That was always how they were though. And she realized it was why she loved being with him in the first place.

"Alex…" She wanted to tell him how much she still loved him, but as she opened her mouth to get the words out, she felt his lips on hers once more and that's all it took for her to surrender to him completely. If he needed her just as badly, there was no way she was postponing it any longer.

Izzie deepened the kiss, quickly finding the back of his neck with her hand and pulling him closer to her. He responded by opening his mouth to explore hers more appropriately. He recognized in her kiss that she needed this as much as he did and he passionately allowed his chest to force her backwards until she hit the wall, with one of his hands finding the back of her head to make sure she didn't hurt herself, not that she would have noticed, and the other quickly finding the wall for support. As his tongue danced with hers, exploring forgotten territory hungrily, he savored in the familiar way their bodies began to melt together. Her hands aggressively rediscovering his back and the tensing of his shoulder muscles. She broke the kiss and let out a soft but needy moan as she felt the warm sensation of his breathe and kisses on her neck.

"Alex…" She forgot he knew every right place to touch… to kiss… She grabbed gently at his hair and attempted to pull him away to look into his eyes once more, but the kisses… his hungry lips sucking so tenderly… so skillfully, were too much. She arched against him and titled her head back to allow him more access. Her eyes slipped closed and she clutched at the sides of his shirt drenched in rain, letting one hand instinctively slip underneath and behind roaming his bare skin.

He heard her moan his name and felt a familiar bulge begin to form between his legs. She began to grind against him as he searched franticly for her hands. He found one underneath his shirt and smiled to himself. Once he gained control of the other hand, he pulled away from Izzie's neck and heard her sigh in slight frustration. With his body still pressed against hers, he let their hands intertwine as he firmly pushed against her palms until they were pinned up against the wall. Mischievously smirking at the way her eyes responded to his control over her, he brought his mouth to meet hers once again. He felt her retaliation in the kiss and it only edged him on. He guided their arms down until he realized somewhere he had lost control and he broke the kiss to moan into her mouth with a mixture of pleasure and submission.

Izzie had felt the extent of his excitement gradually torturing her since their bodies had collided. But it wasn't until he pulled that last move, one he surely knew would send her into a fit of anticipation giving him the upper hand, that she resorted in using it to her advantage. She distracted him long enough by changing the tempo of their bodies, slipping her tongue in between his lips at a quickened pace. She felt his arms give out a little and she subtly changed the direction their hands were moving toward the bulge in his jeans, rubbing with just enough force to observe a change in his positioning and breathing. She let a soft but deep laugh escape her mouth as she looked seductively into his pleading eyes.

Alex just shook his head and continued to kiss her, more playfully now than forcefully… but still with the same passion that had built up over those months of his body being deprived of her physical contact. The passion, he knew would never disappear. She really was a drug. Her hands were now playing with the waistband of his boxers. God… he couldn't take it anymore. He was this close to pulling her around the corner and into the shadows to finish what would go down as the best sex he'd ever had. He had no doubts. But he wouldn't. He pulled back, panting deeply and taking in her scent, which still lingered even after the rain had washed their skin clean. It was Izzie. His Izzie. For anyone else, his animalistic desires would not be subject to suppression. But as he continued to search her eyes, his hand once again stroking gently at the side of her face, he knew he still needed her, but somewhere other than here.

Izzie couldn't help but smile at the sincerity she found in his gaze. Had he always looked so, fearless? She could have sworn before he had been holding something back from her… their first date, their time leading up to those unfortunate circumstances. Looking back into his eyes now though, it was as if all that fear had somehow disappeared in their time apart and whatever he had been holding back had finally been unleashed, making her all the more turned on. And for her to even be considering having sex against the outside wall of a public bar, meant she was quite fucking turned on. But with both of them in such vulnerable states of mind, she convinced herself that she could actually read his thoughts with the way his eyes took her in and the way his body continued to shield her from the cold. Her smile widened at the sound of his voice, soft and comforting…

"Hey…" Alex whispered against her lips, his forehead resting against hers.

"Hey…" She let one of her hands automatically begin tracing the outline of his mouth and when his eyes slipped closed from her touch, she allowed herself to place one more lingering kiss on his lips, smiling at how both of their eyes remained closed for some time afterwards.

Alex cleared his throat. He didn't want to break any contact, but this was getting ridiculous. They were both going to get phenomena if they stayed out here any longer. Plus he had already decided the things he wanted to do to her were not fit for public eyes… no matter how much her kiss automatically stimulated that part of him he usually had much more control over. Before, the fear of Izzie being "the one" had even helped him out a little around her… now, he didn't know if he'd ever calm the fuck down.

"Do you wanna… go some place warmer maybe?" Alex snaked his arms around her waist, his face now residing inches from hers.

All Izzie could do was smile. She couldn't remember ever being this happy. And they hadn't even had sex yet.

"I thought you'd never ask."