Jack marched up the spiral staircase that led to his room as Sid was screaming into his pillow and Jackie was laughing at him outside his door. He knocked lightly on the door and then entered. He saw his wife Sally lying on the bed with a pillow over her head.
"How are you feeling today Sally?"Said Jack.
"Not so good," Sally said with a moan.
Jack sat next to Sally on the bed and started to rub her oversized belly. Even though he was a man he knew that being pregnant was no fun.
"Jack, remember we have the ultrasound tomorrow." Sally said with a smile.
"I know, do you think it's going to be a boy or a girl?"
"I'm not sure. Jack do you think I was this big at 6 months at my last pregnancy?"
"That was a while ago, why do you ask?"
"Either I'm getting fat or we're going to have twins."
Jack laughed and snuggled closer to Sally. He wasn't going to say anything but he wished that she wasn't pregnant so they could "have fun." Sally leaned over and gave Jack a kiss and before he could return the favor he heard another scream. It was Jackie again, her scream was so loud it probably frightened the baby Sally was carrying. Sally shivered and let out a moan and covered her head with a pillow.
"Jack can you go down there and stop the screaming please?! It's giving me a headache and it's not good for the baby."
"Okay Sally, let me see what they're fighting about THIS time."
Before he could get halfway down the stairs Jackie was running up them with tears running down her face.
"DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY!!!! Sid said the F word!!!"
"No I didn't!!" Yelled Sid from inside his room, "I haven't even left my room!!!"
Jack marched inside Sid's room, he had to get to the bottom of this.
"If you haven't left the room than why is Jackie crying?"
"She's faking it! If I really did say the F word than why would that make her cry?"
Jack turned to look at Jackie, "Well!!!"
Jackie had been busted and she knew it. She let out the most terrifying, ear piercing, blood curdling scream.
"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yelled Sally
"Kids knock the fuck off alright! Your mother is…"
Jackie cut him off, "OHHHHHHHHHHHH DADDY SAID THE F WORD!!! I'M TELLING MOMMIE!!!!!!!!"
As Jackie was running up the stairs to tell her hormonal, tired, mother about Jack using profanity in front of a 12 year old and a 5 year old, and Sid fell off the bed literally laughing his skeleton ass off, Jack thought to himself "this is going to be a LOOOOOOOONG pregnancy."
