Welcome, delightful little flesh monkeys. I hope you enjoy this next disturbing chapter. Here you will find Membrane and Dib having their little 'talk', but first, some Dib and Dizzy-ness!
Unfortunately, Zim and I were not meant to be. But I own Dizzy. She's from MY HEAD.
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The raining ceased. The dark clouds released their tight grip on the faded blue sky. Dib stared at this image through his bedroom window. It was over. He told Dizzy everything. Dizzy was pleased that Dib was finally opening up to her, even though she cried through the entire conversation. Dizzy promised not to tell anyone, not even Zim. But Dib knew he'd have to tell Zim sooner or later... or else Zim would have to force the answers out of him.
Dizzy made a commitment to helping Dib through everything. The temptation, the depressing thoughts, everything... but Dib had to give her the razor, the glass, anythiing he could use to hurt himself. Dib didn't mind any of this at all. He knew he'd have his struggles with it, but he was just glad that he finally had someone who was going to support him.
No more anxiety, he thought. I can't feel it anymore. Dib looked down from his window, spotting Dizzy approaching his house. It was 6:57. He smiled. He enjoyed spending this time with Dizzy. He slipped on his dried combat boots and made his way downstairs.
Before turning to the door, Dib noticed Gaz sitting on the couch, eyes on the TV. He went to her. Gaz him a single glance, then looked back at the TV, uninterested.
"Hey, Gaz... uhm... about the other day.. I'm sorry I yelled at you. And, I'm sorry about what's going on with Dad. You were right, it is my fault. I yelled at him because he told you he lost his job and didn't tell me. I thought he didn'y understand my unhappiness, but I found out that he may be more unhappy than me." Dib hesitantly rolled up his sleeves, revealing the black gashes running along his arm. Gaz stared at them, disturbed. "I'm sorry I kept this secret from you and Dad... but please don't tell him about this. I want to tell him myself, whenever he's willing to talk to me. Is he still in the basement?"
Gaz had to force herself to tear her eyes away from Dib's arms. She looked at him. "Yeah... yeah I guess so." She immediately fixed her eyes back on Dib's arms. This, took her by complete surprise. She never thought Dib would ever do something like this.. it wasn't like him.
Dib rolled his sleeves back down, covering up the stinging cuts. He sat next to Gaz, staring carefully at her. His expression was serious, but gentle. "I love you, Gaz." He whispered. "I'm sorry I made your life so misrable."
Before Gaz could even think of a response, Dib stood up, walked to the door, and left the house. Gaz could here Dib and Dizzy's faint greetings, then nothing. She picked up the remote control and turned the television off. She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, staring at the blank TV screen.
Dib and Dizzy made their way toward the park without a word. Dizzy was deep in thought the entire time and was unable to speak. Dib didn't speak because, well, he had nothing to say... that and he was very nervous with Dizzy clinging onto his right arm.
Finally, they made it to the park. The area was empty of people. Dizzy thought it was peaceful. Dib, however, thought it had an eerie touch. Dizzy moved further into the park, tugging Dib along with her. The colorful, crisp leaves blanketed the ground. Dizzy was amused at the crunching sound they made when she stepped on them. Dib chuckled as Dizzy ran through the field, throwing and stepping on the leaves. He soon joined her, dancing and throwing the leaves.
As Dib and Dizzy went about with their fun, Dizzy noticed a mysterious figure coming through the park entrance. The wore a long black coat, gloves, and a hat that covered up his eyes. He held a newspaper. The man went over to a nearby bench and began reading the newspaper. Dib noticed Dizzy had stopped playing.
"What's wrong?" Dib asked, approaching Dizzy. She quickly looked away from the man, looking back at Dib. She smiled.
"Nothing!" Dizzy said. She grabbed Dib's hand and began running toward an old tree. They both sat underneath it, laughing and panting. Dizy looked back at the man on the bench, who gave her a quick glance, then continued reading his newspaper. Dizzy looked back at Dib, who noticed her mind was someplace else. "You sure you're okay?" He asked. Dizzy gave him a delightful grin. "Sure am!" She replied.
She gave a quick glance back at the man, then looked away. "Hey Dib," she said, "I'm thirsty. I'm going to go buy a beverage at that... beverage device thing, over there." She pointed to a soda machine through the park gate on the other side of the street.
"Oh, okay, sure." Dib agreed.
"I'll meet you back at... that bench, over there." Dizzy pointed to the bench where the mysterious man sat, casually reading his newspaper. "Uh, okay," Dib agreed. But when he looked back at Dizzy, she was already running toward the soda machine, waving back at him. He shrugged.
Dib cautiously sat next to the strange man reading the newspaper. He gave his quick glances, anxiously waiting for Dizzy to return. While the man wasn't paying attention, Dib caught the newspaper's headline, 'Prof. Membrane makes burnt toast'. He looked away. How was he going to tell his father about how he has been cutting himself? Suddenly, the man next to him chuckled.
"Hehehehe... Boy, Membrane sure has done it this time." He said, Dib looked at him, kind of offended that the man was unknowingly mocking his father. "What a fool. Heh... I bet the old failiure doesn't even have time for his children anymore. I've never seen his kids with him on the television... heh, I wonder if he even knows he has kids?"
"He doesn't have time for his kids because he's a hard working father!" Dib blurted out. The man looked at him, rather surprised at his statement. He folded the newspaper and laid it on his lap.
"Maybe so, but a father must always have time for his children. Even if he... say... took them to Bloaty's Pizza Hog once a year, that's still not nearly enough. His kids must feel very excluded from his life." The man coughed nervously. "Now, what if one of his kids was depressed over something, and he was never around to notice it?"
Dib stood up from the bench angrily. "Well maybe he has some problems of his own! Maybe he's the one who's really depressed! Maybe... maybe his kids didn't see it before. Maybe..." Dib paused, taking a careful look at the man. He could see the man's eyes through his sunglasses. They were full of worry and guilt. "...maybe his kids were too caught up in their own emotion that they couldn't see their father was the one that was hurting the most." Dib's eyes became glossy. His head dropped, trying to hide his emotion. The man stood, leaving his newspaper on the bench. He hugged Dib tightly, who was now crying. "I am so sorry, dad." Dib shakily, hugging his father back. "I am so sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry I said you didn't understand when you really did.."
"It's alright, son." Membrane whispered replied. "It's alright. Come and sit, I need to tell you something." Dib obeyed, wiping the tears away from his eyes. Membrane took off his black hat, revealing his half bald head and sun glasses. He reached into the coat pocket and took out a little black box. He opened it, revealing a small, rusted razor blade. Dib's heart sank.
"When your mother died, I had a serious problem." Membrane took the razor out of the box, showing it to Dib. "I began to self-injure myself for a long time. It felt good at the time," He paused, "But then one day, when I was about to cut myself again, I noticed that there was no space left on my arms. That's when I realized that the issue was out of my control. I couldn't stop. I knew I couldn't keep this up - I had a family, what would they think if they found out? So, every day after work, I would see a psychiatrist who'd help me through the problem. When you kids asked me why I was home late, I lied and told you I was held back at work."
Dib stared at the razor, not knowing how to respond. He was shocked at the fact that his father, Proffessor Membrane, had the same problem as he did now.
Membrane sighed. "I'm here to apologize to you, son. I'm sorry I never payed attention to you, I'm sorry I never supported your dreams, I'm sorry for all of the lies I told you..." He paused again, "...I'm sorry I called you insane."
Dib looked at his father, his eyes again glossy. Without another thought, he hugged his father tightly as a sign of forgivness. Membrane hugged him back, happily. He was glad the connection between him and his son was no longer broken. Dib was glad that his father never really hated him, he was just going through things. Dib broke the hug and looked at his father. "Dad... were you down in your lab all this time... because I yelled at you?"
Membrane smiled, then
sighed. "Not exactly, son. I had a lot to think about." He
looked deeply in his son's eyes, giving him the message. A worried
expression krept onto Dib's face. "Dad... what day is it?"
He sighed. Membrane bent over, dug a small hole in the dirt, and
buried the razor blade in it. He stood back up. "...It's our
anniversary, son. Elizabeth and I were married today."
Dib gripped his hand on his left arm. The arm he had inflicted all of his pain and anger onto. Slowly, he rolled up the sleeve, revealing the gashes. Membrane nearly fell over at the horrid sight of his son's arm, almost completely slashed with cuts. His breath was lost. An unexpected, yet nervous smiled grew across Dib's face. "Glad you understand, Dad."
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Sorry for making the chapter so short, butI thought it would be a good place to stop. Don't worry, They're conversation will continue - and end - in the next chapter.
Ahmahgahd! I loved writing the chapter - such loveliness between father and son. Ah, yes, the emotion! cough
I need to make more exciting story... whenever... ;
So... uh... yea, stay tuned.::::
