Thanks too, jrfan88, Rockstargoddess101, SVUfanatic, i-love-benson, onetreefan, thrownover65, Olivia-Jordan, tiptonxprincess, gabix, kalipsos, musiicfreak33, foreshame417, Svu Sister, laurahalvey, xXBlissfulCursesXxYou guys have really inspired me, thanks.

If I owned em, I wouldn't be sat in my spare room writing out stories I'd be on the shown, directing my stories. Hey I'm allowed to dream.

Chapter 5.

Olivia walked into the squad room, it had been a little under two months since the attack, and this was her first day back. If it had been left up to her then she would have been back as soon as the bandages where taken off, but Cragen politely told her that if he saw her in the squad room in the next two months then he would have her arrested and taken back to her apartment and put under house arrest. For once she'd listened to him.

That is until about a week ago. She was bored out of her skull at home. She redecorated and the place looked new, she'd got new furniture and the place felt totally different, not like the scene where the most horrific night of her life had taken place. The night she'd finished and realised she'd have nothing to do till she could return to work she had rang him and asked him could she could come back, he refused.

On the fifth call she'd made to him, begging he said yes. Munch had twisted his ankle chasing a perp and was now on desk duty so it would help to have someone else out in the field. He made her promise him that she was ready to come back. She was, apart from one thing. This would be the first time she'd seen Elliot in the past month or so. She'd spoken to him a handful of times on the phone, but only for him to ask her info about cases they'd worked on and that he needed to make a court appearance on, he'd asked her if she was feeling okay, but that was about as far as things went, before one of them had made an excuse to have to hang up.

Now as she walked in and over to her desk, she saw him sat deep in the concentration that was paperwork. "Olivia, it's nice to see a pretty face around here for once." Munch called from his desk. She looked over at him smiling. He was sat in his chair with his leg propped up on another.

"Ouch!" If I've told you once, I've told you twice John you shouldn't be chasing perp's, that's why you got Fin." Munch smiled.

Fin got up and walked over to her and gave her a quick hug. "It's nice to have you back, baby girl."

"Thank, it's nice to be back. Theres only so many times you can re-decorate your apartment in two months, before the paint refuses to stick." She smiled.

The others all smiled, but couldn't help but think about why she would want to decorate her apartment, to start a fresh.

Elliot got up and walked over to her, he stood awkwardly in front of her. The others wanted to watch them but knew best to let them sort out whatever was going on between them alone.

"You look good." Elliot said, noticing her new hairstyle. It was shorter again and more of her own colour, a nice treacle brown. Like it had been when they had first started working together, it still held some of the blonde highlights though.

"So do you." She said. He must have been working out he looked more muscular than ever.

"I'm glad your back." He said smiling. He just wanted to throw his arms around her he'd missed her so much whilst she'd been off. He gone to her place pretty much every day but never went in he just sat out in his car. He just needed to know she was safe.

- - - - - -

The day was slow, not that anyone minded, it was cold outside and snowing. It was the 23rd of December and the snow was just another reminder to them all that the biggest of family holidays where coming up. Usually Elliot buzzed at this time, but today he was the opposite and Olivia couldn't help but notice, she was about to say something but.

That and it beat spending another night in the crib. "Hey whose turn is it to get us some coffee and donuts?"

"I'll get em." Elliot said standing up and putting on his jacket that was hanging on the back of his chair. "I'll come with you." Olivia said copying him.

- - - - - -

They walked out of the coffee shop in silence. Elliot held the coffees in a tray and Olivia carried the box the donuts where in.

"How are Kathy and the kids?" Olivia asked, she hated that they weren't acting normal, even if it was maybe her fault.

"I don't know. Well the kids are okay but I haven't really spoken to Kathy since she kicked me out." Elliot confessed.

"She kicked you out."

"Yea"

"Well when?" Olivia asked. She felt like she was talking to an old school friend who she hadn't seen for years, not Elliot.

"The night I left you at the hospital. We've been having problems for ages, but I guess we just finally decided what was best." They both climbed into the car. Elliot gently passed her the tray of drinks. He couldn't help but notice she was staring at him.

"What?"

"El I'm sorry." She said just loud enough for him to hear her.

"You're sorry, for what?" he put the keys in the ignition but didn't start it up.

"For not being there for you when you obviously needed me." She said looking at his sad face.

"Don't you dare apologise to me Olivia. It was me. I let you down big style. When you needed me most I left you. Then I left you again in the hospital when you left me."

"Why did you leave?" She wondered out loud.

"When you told me you did give up, I realised that you thought I wasn't going to help you. I left you alone to feel like you were going to get killed by that psycho." Elliot hit the steering wheel as he thought about what he did.

"No Elliot. I don't know what I was saying at the hospital, I was drugged up and I don't know I guess it was the concussion talking or something. I always knew you would find me, and rescue me. I just give up fighting Richard when I knew that no matter what he really was always going to be in me in some sick way or another."

Elliot looked at her. She looked like she was hiding something from him he wanted to know what it was." Liv what is it?"

"When we first arrested Richard he said that my father would always be in her head, because of what he did to her. Her rapist would never leave her Elliot because she had me as a constant reminder. I guess I'm just like her."

"No Olivia, your mother was a sad, drunk, lonely person. I know that even through it all she loved you. You just do, not loving your child is an option, form the second you see them, believe me you fall in love and that's it your stuck. You're nothing like your Mom. Richard's in your head now, but one day he won't be. You'll wake up in the future and you won't even think about him, all the reminders of him will be gone."

"I'm pregnant El." A tear rolled down her cheek as she said it.

There was silence for a moment. "The hospital, didn't they give you a contraceptive?" He asked. "Yeah, I guess they didn't give me enough or something, I don't know?"

"What are you going to do?" He asked.

"I don't know yet?"

They both looked at each other.

- - - - - -

Back in the squad room Munch, Fin and Cragen where pigging out on donuts and enjoying their coffees. Liv sat at her desk. Elliot couldn't help but stare at her. She was doing paperwork and every now and again she would sigh and brush her hair back off of her face. He couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked, she was glowing, pregnancy worked for her, even surrounding the circumstances.

It was hot in the squad room even with the weather the way it was outside. Olivia had taken her jacket off. She didn't have a long sleeve top clean this morning so she had one on where the sleeves covered about three quarters of her long limbs. Miraculously most of the cuts that had been left on her arms and body, when she had fallen through the glass table had gone. Just a few where the glass had gone deeper remained. She placed her other hand across the ones she could as she continued to write, she knew Elliot was staring at her. "What?" She said without looking up.

She started to smile as she knew he had. "Nothing it's just. I don't know your glowing." He smiled at her with his big beaming blue eyes. She smiled at him with her big beaming chocolate brown eyes. "Well that can't be healthy" She said sarcastically.

"I mean, you look good in your condition." She had to smile, even if her eyes were filling.

"I've been thinking and I'm here and I'm the product of rape and I don't think I turned out so bad, why should my baby." Elliot stood up and flipped his head to signal her to follow him.

- - - - - -

On the roof they could talk easier with no one it to eavesdrop, or to be more precise not able Munch to eavesdrop. "I've told you before Liv, all you can do is love your kids. Its genes have nothing to do with it. I mean look at me, my kids don't go around battering confessions out of people." They both had to laugh.

"I know I just I worry about that every day about myself, then when I realised I was pregnant I just had another reason to worry about it."

"Don't!" Elliot said in a confident voice. "Believe me Liv if your baby had to of your traits then it's gonna do just fine.

"What would they be." She asked playfully.

"Your amazing personality and your heart. Liv you have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known and like you say, that's coming form the genes you did." Olivia was crying but she smiled at that last part and playfully nudged him.

"Besides if you ever need any advice on burping, bathing, feeding, diaper changing…" Elliot said counting the chores on his hands.

Olivia laughed loud and hard. He loved to hear her laugh, it was his old Olivia back from where ever she had been. "I bet you were a regular Holly housewife weren't you?"

"Yes I was " Elliot said laughing.

Olivia shuffled along the wall and sat closer to him. She rested her head onto his shoulder. He lifted his hand up and placed it on her cheek. "I missed you EL." Olivia said staring out over New York, from the rooftops.

"I'm glad to have you back Liv." Elliot said doing the same.

Hope you liked it. I did plan on continuing this. There was gonna be a jump in time, about six months or so, and it involved the kidnap of both a heavily pregnant Olivia and Elliot by another blast from the past, don't think anyone will get it till they read. So what do you think, do you guys want me too or not? There will be eventual E/O pairing.

Thank you all. XX