I backed away from them immediately, bumping into a console and nearly falling. Picard was standing now, but barely. He made a faint attempt to bat at the approaching drones, but the closest one backhanded him, sending him sprawling over his chair. He landed headfirst on the deck with a sickening thud, and did not move. Perim drew a phaser from her side - why hadn't I grabbed mine- and fired at the closest drone. The beam hit it squarely in the chest, and the drone fell to the deck. The second drone suddenly disappeared in a flash of light as an ensign from the far end of the room vaporized it. Perim reached out to the third drone and fired into its face.
Too late. They had adapted. The beam briefly illuminated in green the drone's protective shield. A lightning-quick arm reached out and knocked the phaser from her hand. It clattered on the floor nearby, well out of reach. In the next instant, it had grabbed her arm, violently pulling her forward.
"Captain!" she screamed, looking into my eyes as two nanotubes shot from the drone's arm into her neck. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and she began to convulse as the nanites swam throughout her body. The drone dropped her unceremoniously and began walking my way.
"Get away from me!" I shouted as I ducked back behind the console I had run into. The drone easily stepped around it, effectively blocking any escape I might have been planning. Its hand reached for my throat, and…
"Computer, freeze program!" It was the voice of Picard, but much stronger than he had been before. The drone in front of me froze. The other people on the bridge froze. The lights on the consoles froze. And there stood Picard, next to his own lifeless form. He was not frozen. This was…
"You son of a bitch!" I yelled, extracting myself from my false Borg predicament and walking up to him. I looked at him for a moment. "This was all…?" I could say no more. I turned toward the viewscreen, feeling myself beginning to hyperventilate. I couldn't breathe, and I could feel tears welling up. Behind me, Picard's voice sounded almost sardonic.
"That seems to be a popular insult reserved for me by people from your time. And anyway, I would think that you of all people would be familiar with the Kobayashi Maru, Mr. Allen." I turned to face him, not caring that my tears were spilling.
"You're supposed to KNOW you're taking the Kobayashi Maru!" I shouted. I shivered; it was suddenly damn cold. Picard smiled, a little friendlier, perhaps.
"If it helps, I had no choice. Starfleet ordered that you be subjected to the test. As a matter of fact, it was supposed to happen at the end of your week. Unfortunately, we had to bump it up a little due to some real problems." I looked at him, my anger dissipating a little as the terror that I had just felt starting to ebb away returned with a vengeance.
"What kind of 'problems'?" Picard looked around at the body-strewn bridge. The toe of his boot touched the prone figure of the holographic drone on the floor.
"This kind," he said grimly. "Mr. Allen, I'm afraid that your tour of duty aboard the Enterprise is nearly over. The invasion has begun." He snapped to attention and tugged at his uniform, then turned and walked out of the holodeck. The doors closed, and I sunk to the deck, pulling my knees up to my chin.
"Computer, end program," I choked through my sobs.
Ten Forward was open later on Friday nights. It should have amused me that even in the twenty-fourth century some of the basic things had never and would never change. I should have been smiling, enjoying the view of stars whizzing past.
Instead I sat, desperately wishing to get drunk on a substance that wouldn't do the job and was getting viler with every drink. I had wisely expended my tears on the holodeck before trying to return to my quarters. But when I did return, I could not even begin to feel like sleeping. I was curious about the invasion, but I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to Picard at the moment. Besides, maybe I didn't want to know…
Even with the later hours, there were only a couple of people in the lounge. It was very late, and most of the crew was either asleep or on duty, so it was no surprise. Still, even within the comfort of solitude, I wished for some company. I looked over to the bar to see if Guinan was still busy. She had been involved in some sort of deep conversation with an ensign earlier, but he was gone now. I got up from my seat and slowly walked to the bar. Guinan smiled as she saw me approach.
"Good evening, Captain," she said. "I heard you had quite the evening."
"How did you know that?" I asked. Her grin widened. She leaned in to whisper.
"News travels at warp speed on this ship, especially when we have visitors." She patted me on the shoulder. "How about something to make your evening a little bit better?" I shook my head, holding up my glass.
"Thanks, but one glass of this stuff is enough for one evening." She reached under the bar, pulling out a different bottle with what appeared to be the same disgusting brandy substitute. Fetching a glass and some ice, she poured me a drink.
"I keep a little private reserve for occasions like this. Don't tell Captain Picard." I smiled, taking the glass. The brandy was warm going down. And wonderful. I immediately felt my nerves calm a little.
"I won't," I said, smiling back at her. Guinan leaned forward on the bar.
"Good. Now why don't you tell me what it is about this evening's little event that brings you in here tonight, looking as though you've just seen a ghost?" I sighed, sitting down and taking a sip of my brandy. I really didn't want to seem as weak as I felt, but then again, I sensed nothing but support from Guinan.
"I was…terrified. It was as though I couldn't think fast enough. And people around me were dying or being assimilated…" I paused, loosening my grip on the glass. The pit of my stomach threatened to return the brandy.
"You wanted to save them…"
"Yes. Lieutenant Perim…well, the hologram of her…she tried to save me. She sacrificed herself for me…"
"…And in your fantasies, it was always the other way around." She had just finished my thought.
"Yes! Yes, that's it. It was nothing like I'd always imagined. I wanted so badly to save the people on the Enterprise. But I couldn't even move. And this thought kept going through my head…"
"And what thought was that?"
"Well, you see, there's this girl…" Guinan nodded.
"There usually is," she smiled.
"All I could think about was not seeing her again." I sniffled a little; afraid I might start crying again. At this point, I would not have minded Guinan seeing me in tears, but there were other people in the bar, and I still had some dignity. Guinan refilled my glass.
"Tell me something, Captain. What would you have done if it had been this girl instead of Lieutenant Perim?" I felt the bile rise up in my throat at the question. I swallowed hard, staring at her wide-eyed for a long moment.
"I…I don't know, Guinan. A couple of hours ago, I would have told you that the Borg would have to go over my dead body. But now…" I trailed off, revisiting the sickening scene in my head.
"No one knows, Captain, until it happens. And every time you fall down, you get up that much stronger." She clapped a hand on my shoulder. "What do you think you would do now if you were put in the same situation?" I looked up at her, and relief flooded through me as I caught on to what she was saying.
"You're absolutely right," I said, smiling a little.
"I know. I don't think you're a coward, Captain Allen. And when the time comes, I think you're going to make one of the finest officers the Federation has ever seen."
I stepped off the turbolift onto the bridge, noting that Commander Madden was both alive and fully capable of duty.
"Where is Captain Picard?" I asked.
"In his ready room," Madden replied, returning his attention to the viewscreen. I punched the door chime.
"Come," came Picard's voice over the intercom. I walked in, finding Picard at his desk.
"Captain," I began, "I'd like to apologize for my conduct on the holodeck earlier." Picard smiled.
"Mr. Allen, I don't suppose you're familiar with my initial reaction to the Kobayashi Maru?" I shook my head. Picard laughed a little, gazing off into the past. "I was so impetuous. The minute the simulation ended, I marched outside, demanding vehemently that it be reset so that I could take it again. Fourteen people were in line to take the test, and I demanded that they skip over them so that I could retake the test."
"What happened?"
"Well, they didn't do it of course. I had to place my name on the roster for a retake. As it turned out, I never retook it. My score was actually high enough on it that I didn't need to. But until I knew that, I was furious."
"You understanding my situation doesn't excuse my behavior, sir. I should not have called you that." Picard waved his hand.
"Consider it forgotten," he said. "Besides, we have more important things to discuss. I was hoping you would show up soon, but I didn't want to disturb you in Ten Forward." I started to ask how he knew that I where I had been, but thought better of it.
"Thank you," I said, sitting down across from him. "What is this you were talking about with the Borg?" Picard sighed.
"An hour after our meeting with the Praetor, we received word that three outposts along the outer fringe of the Romulan border were destroyed by the Borg. Already, the Romulans have lost ten ships. Additionally, it appears that the Borg are attempting to wedge part of their fleet between the Romulan and Klingon Empires. Several ships were detected passing Narendra III towards Khitomar less than an hour ago." He showed me a map on his desk computer screen. It was obvious what the plan was.
"That course will take them to Vulcan, and then Earth."
"Indeed. Starfleet is massing a group of ships near Arcanis. It will meet up with the Klingon fleet, and hopefully some Romulan ships."
"Hopefully? What does the Praetor say?"
"The Praetor is no longer on board. As soon as she heard about the attacks, she boarded her ship and headed back across the Neutral Zone. The meeting on Earth will have to be postponed."
"What about Ambassador Spock?" I asked.
"Interestingly enough, Spock requested to be stationed on your ship. And by the way, I suggest you get some sleep. We'll be rendezvousing with the Ascension tomorrow, and you will be assuming your command. Trust me, it's best if you're well rested for things like that." He smiled a little. I was shocked.
"Captain," I began, "you saw how I did on the holodeck. How can Starfleet trust me with a starship after what I did back there?" Picard leaned forward, steepling his fingers.
"You did what any normal person would have done in that situation." I rolled my eyes.
"Don't give me that. You would never freeze up like that." Picard laughed.
"I most certainly would, and have on numerous occasions! At any rate, it doesn't matter at this point. The attack is beginning, and Starfleet is going to need every bit of help it can get. We need you, Mike. Flaws, fears and all, we need you."
"It is unlocked." Spock's voice was ominous even over the intercom. I walked into his room to find him meditating in his bed. Slowly he rose. "I assume you are here to question my decision to serve aboard your ship," he stated flatly. I nodded.
"Ambassador, I'm honored, but I…I fear for your safety." The Vulcan arched an eyebrow at me.
"My safety would seem to be rather a moot point at this time, given the gravity of the situation."
"Yes, but you could be aboard a ship with an experienced captain. Or better yet, I'm sure we could drop you off on a planet somewhere, where you could…"
"That will not be necessary, Captain. I have chosen your ship for two reasons. The first is that I have followed the project that brought you here for some time, and I am understandably curious about you and your crewmates. The other reason is that my experience as an officer aboard a starship may prove beneficial to you. I appreciate your concern for my safety, Captain, but it is misplaced. I have a duty, and it can best be done aboard your ship." I nodded at the wisdom of his words. I knew better than to shake his hand, so I just stood there.
"Very well. May I say, Ambassador, that it is perhaps the greatest honor I've ever had to get to serve with you?"
"Were I human, Captain, I suspect that I would be flattered by that comment. As I am not, let us dare to presume that I may return the compliment before all of this is over." I nodded, fighting the urge to grin.
"Well, I wish you a good night, Ambassador," I said, turning to leave.
"Captain?" Spock said. I turned.
"Yes, Ambassador?"
"You are not Jim Kirk. Nor are you Jean-Luc Picard. You are Michael Allen. If you can keep that in mind, you ought to do well."
