I'm back at school. It's boring and I feel dead...Yawns.
I got 97 on a math test but also I feel nothing. So I've laughed and cried and smiled and sighed.
Well, review pweaze!! Didn't see that coming? Scratch that; the ONLY thing I feel right now is that I want you to review!!!
Disclaimeeer: Neji does not belong to me even though I dream about him every night faithfully from ten to seven!!!
Oh, and I love
Max the Max Bunny and
Julie the Chenille Bunny!!
Hiashi is dead. Why didn't I see it coming?
It's a strange thing to say. Why? Five syllables. Easy, correct?
Hi-a-shi-is-ded.
Hi! Ashi isded.
Hiash iis ded.
Hiashi is dead...
Words mingle, reproduce, and separate in my brain until I have no sense of the past or present. Like a math proof, only worse. Math...the class I used to like. And now it's only the first day of school, I hate it, all hope is gone, and I feel strangely empty.
Given: Hiashi is dead.
Prove: Hiashi is not alive.
My father goes in for Hiashi by the Substitution Property of Equality.
My father is dead.
Substitute "not alive" in for "dead."
My father is not alive.
Transitive Property of Equality:
Hiashi is not alive.
Eyes sting throat itches mouth hurts nose runs.
It's been at least two hours since I sat here.
How should I feel? How should anyone feel. Two hours...
A song may go with it...lyrics to support the funereal tune.
It's been two hours since my father died,
two hours since my friends wait for me,
two hours have I sat here,
two hours have my bottom ached...
I crack a smile. It hurts.
The only people left in the dreary hos-prison are Kiba, Ino, and a few bumbling nurses. Sakura had to go for her training.
The nurse that told news about Hiashi probably got a pay raise. Maybe even a promotion. Something good out of something bad, right?
Kiba taps on my shoulder hesitantly. Funny. It never crossed my mind he was the hesitant type. "Hinata...Who are you going to live with now?" His eyes are concerned, his hair slightly hanging over his face.
If it were anyone else I would just ignore them but it's him...the boy that has the kind eyes and a dog.
Redundant. I don't live. I go to school, go through motions of eating and sitting and drinking. I do not live.
He thinks I can talk.
Ha! Funny. I forgot to laugh. Talk? Laugh? Smile? It's too much. I just sit there, feeling the slight wind rubbing against my feet and trying to memorize and think and wonder how the heck everything went so freaking wrong
it's not sane there has to be
a culprit behind
this.
There's a flash of anger I know that appears in my eyes. I don't know the rest of my expression, but Kiba leans forward, apparently worried. I want to stay close to him, feel his hands brush against my cheek for a sign of tears, but I have forgotten how to cry.
I want someone to care for me.
Someone to express that care. Someone...
Worried.
My throat hurts. Usually it's something Hiashi is good at understands.
Clap, clap. Give him a prize. He makes a type of Hyuuga tea especially for throat tenketsu and maintaining chakra... Maybe today he'll -
"Y-you could live with me, Hinata," suggests Ino, "My family's relatively s-small. It'll be...easy."
Relatively. Big word for a big mouth.
I wince at my callousness.
But I keep the anger. "I'll live by myself," I mumble.
There's definitely traces of surprise in their eyes. Maybe even sympathy, sympathy,
all I get is sympathy but no empathy.
I don't know how I managed to get home but I do, three minutes later. Maybe I ran, maybe I flew, but either way, the bottom of my jacket is soaked through with dirt, my elbows are scraped badly, knees are actually spitting blood out, and my throat still
hurts like something made of rough cement is scraping against it every time I try to take a breath.
I get home. The silence is so freaking loud it hurts my eardrums. No Hiashi yelling at me. No father. No mother. No family.
I don't feel anything. No pain, no sorrow, no boohoohoo I broke a nail type of thing.
On the brighter side, maybe...
realization will break through, my heart will stop, and I will die tomorrow.
I run up to my room, slam the door, manage to break the hinges, and scream into my blankets.
How was that? Review or email me!!
I hope you're sorry for Hinata, but there's a bright side;
the Chuunin exams are soon!! And let me tell you Hinata's in it :)
Also, she's vey (very very) depressed so it might be boring...
but keep at it!! ;D
Lumberrrrrry
