I was already pacing the Oncology Floor by 9:30 a.m. the next day. I was adamant that I couldn't miss a second with Hannah.

Here we were, last chance, last draw. If I didn't impress her now, somehow, I would most certainly lose the chance forever. My stomach was in knots. George had left me five minutes before, unable to take the pacing and muttering, citing the fact he had to go het our baby some Xanax to make it through the day.

At 9:50 I got my payoff.

Before my eyes was the most beautiful, slender little girl. She had tufts of freshly regrown blonde hair sticking out from under a Coach Fisherman cap, and a bright yellow backpack in her hands. I literally gasped with the sight she was to my eyes. Hannah, despite her palor and indicators of disease, looked so vital and wonderful to me.

She looked at me almost suspiciously. Her backpack stopped twisting.

"You're Izzie. You're the girl in Dr. O'Malley's picture."

"Yes. Yes I am, Hannah."

There was this horrible pause.

We just eyed each other with curiosity.

George rushed in, probably realizing he has seen her and could be late. When I turned to him for guidance, my lab coat flapped open exposing by pregnant form.

"Are you having another baby, Izzie?"

My hands went unconciously to my belly.

"Yeah."

"Do you love this baby?"

"Yeah."

I looked down at her eyes filling with tears.

"So are you giving this one away too?"

She took off like a streak down the hallway. George ran for her, but I knew in my heart that she was gone. Her parents took off shortly there after mumbling apologies and saying it wasn't such a good idea while tears spilled down my cheeks. I couldn't do anything right.

It wasn't until hours later that I received a page saying they still hadn't found her. I honestly didn't know why they bothered, it wasn't like if they did find her that I would be doing anything good for her.

I went on, wheeling my gurney down to the tombs when I heard a slight sniffling. I looked to my right, and I could just barely make out the edge of a bright yellow backpack. I gently pushed my cart to the side and moved to sit atop the empty gurney Hannah was under.

"I know you don't understand it, but I loved you too, Hannah. I even named you in the quiet. I called you Sarah, and I kissed your chubby little cheeks, and I almost died when I gave you away. But I was sixteen years old, and that may seem grown now, but I was just a scared little girl myself. I was living in a dirty trailer park with a mother who couldn't keep it together and no father. I wanted to keep you. It wasn't fair to me that I couldn't, but it would have been more unfair that you would have to live the same way. I could have never given you bright yellow backpacks, or the life that your parents have. And, no, I won't be giving this baby away. It doesn't seem right, or feel right that I had to give you away and that I have a life to give this baby now. As wrong as it is, this is how it happened."

Her voice floated up.

"Why didn't I have a father? Why didn't you?"

"My dad left my mom when she was six months pregnant for greener pastures. Your dad left me when I told him I was pregnant. He was more interested in fast cars than he was in pregnant girlfriends."

"Ouch."

"I know."

"What about this baby?"

"What about it?"

"Does this baby have a dad?"

"Yeah. The baby's dad is George. Well, you know him as Dr. O'Malley."

"He said you two were the best of friends."

"We are. Plus some."

"Will he be a good dad?"

"The best kind. Probably just like your dad. He is so in love with this baby. Just like your dad was the day he picked you up."

Her sweet little face popped from underneath the bed.

"Dr. O'Malley says we look just alike. Who do we look like?"

"Well, you look like me, and I look like my mom."

"Do you have a good life now? Compared to whatever it was before?"

"I do have a good life. I modeled for a while to pay for my schooling and then I ended up here. I found three of the best friends and you."

She crawled up to sit by me.

"I have a good life too. Sometimes, though, I wonder what my life would have been like with you. Maybe even now. You know all of these neat people, and now you are having a baby. I always wanted a brother or sister, but my parents couldn't have any."

"In a way Hannah, you do have a brother or sister."

I put her hand on my stomach, and like a cue, the baby gave a good hard kick. She laughed and rubbed the spot where she felt the movement.

About that time George came flying around the corner.

"Thank God I found you! Did you get my page? Hannah is gone!"

I squeezed her close.

"She's right here George. Call her parents."