Remembrance and Renewal by Avatar Arkmage and Nigel Tatsuya
Chapter Thirty-Six: Farewell, My Son

Harry spent the next few hours making good on his earlier vow to tell his Grandsire everything about himself. Severus, who was still recovering from his bout with haemorrhagic fever, vacillated between slumber and trying hard to remain awake to listen to Harry's lively, though factually sound, accounts. The youth, annoying, though he could be, had a way of turning even the most mundane subjects into engaging and amusing feasts for the ears.

The situation between Severus and Lucien remained both volatile and tenuous. Although Severus no longer panicked from his father's presence alone, long suppressed memories invaded his dreams, and made their presence known even during the brief moments when he was fully conscious. Memories of being shouted at, beaten, humiliated, and otherwise terrorised played across his consciousness like a macabre sutra.

Harry's life story, complete with explanations about everything from olive oil presses to semiautomatic weapons, was a welcome diversion.


"Excuse me, good sirs." Rastus bowed dutifully at the doorway at around noon. "Lunch for you is prepared."

"Thank you, Rastus." Severus, Lucien and Harry chorused.

"I don't think father is strong enough to go to the dining room." Harry worried aloud.

The octarelf summoned the trays into the room, and a table from one of the nearby laboratories followed the trays in like a curious quadrupedal creature.

Rastus had prepared a relatively small meal of roast pork, potatoes, carrots, tossed greens and Yorkshire puddings, for only Harry and Rastus would be able to actually eat it. Lucien, as usual, would only pretend to eat; and Severus's system was too fragile to handle more than tea and light broths.

Lucien did not pretend to eat at this meal, but assisted Severus by propping him up on pillows and manually feeding him. Severus protested at being so tended, but only with his expression, for he dared not say anything which could potentially incur his father's anger.

"So what you were saying, Harry, is that you're planning to ask Hermione Granger about the feasibility of going against the Dark Lord using semiautomatic weapons?" Lucien asked, spooning more clear broth into Severus's mouth.

"Sure Grandfather, outclassing your enemies is a sound strategy in warfare isn't it? Of course we'll still use magic, but old Mouldyshorts won't be expecting half of what we throw at him." Harry replied, somehow managing to quickly empty his plate whilst elaborating on the strategies he planned to employ. Lucien was too fascinated to interrupt very often, and Severus could not physically to do much more than listen. "And I'm also going to ask my friend Cho Chang about the ways people in Asia and The Pacific engage in warfare. With all the amazing electronics and other things they have there, they must have powerful weapons too! And since China is the world's oldest continuous culture, they must have ancient strategies we can use to take Mouldyshorts completely by surprise!"

"Harry," Lucien said, throwing one of Severus's pillows aside and supporting the younger man in the crook of his spectral arm as he continued to feed him, "you really seem determined to confront The Dark Lord. But the prophecy you've spoken of said that either you or The Dark Lord would emerge the victor, and that only one of you can survive... As much as I love you, my only grandchild, I do not wish you to join me in death."

"Then I won't lose!" Harry stated, a strange mixture of maturity and childlike enthusiasm on his features. "If only one of us can survive, it will be me! I have a reason to fight now!" Harry reached over the makeshift table and put a hand on Lucien's shoulder, which to Harry's relief was solid. "You, Grandad, have lost your happiness and your life with father and grandmother! You've even lost your life for real!"

Harry then stood, and wrapped an arm around Severus. "And you, father, you've lost almost everything, and even now, you're still a slave to Mouldyshorts!" He looked toward the ceiling. "And grandmother, she's lost herself...can't even use her own body!"

Harry began sobbing. "And I lost all the people I ever loved! My mother, my daddy James, my godfather Sirius..." Harry hugged his father and grandfather close. "And I lost you both and grandmother too! If I didn't almost die, I'd have never known about any of you being my family and I'd still be all alone!"

"I only fought before, because it was expected of me, or else I couldn't help it. I didn't have a clear reason to fight Voldemort before! BUT NOW I DO!" Harry looked at Rastus, Severus and Lucien in turn. "I'll have revenge! Or else I'll take death, so long as I kill VOLDEMORT whilst I'm at it. I want him dead before he can make another family suffer as we have!"

Lucien, Severus and Rastus cringed at Harry's usage of the name 'Voldemort' as well as the anger on his face.

Severus unsteadily shrugged himself from Lucien's grasp and leaned toward Harry. "You'll not cast your life away! I will not allow it."

"Well I won't allow Voldemort to live! If he lives on, more families will be destroyed!" Harry shouted back.

"To attack Voldemort outright is the same as throwing your life away!" Severus rasped weakly. "And once you're dead, he'll simply continue his attacks against others."

"Then you make sure you help me vanquish Voldemort! You too, grandfather, you might be a ghost, but that doesn't mean that you can't still fight somehow! All those ghosts of people killed by Voldemort, I'm sure they'd want revenge! I know both of your hearts ache for revenge, just as mine does! He should pay for making us suffer! We'll show Mouldyshorts the penalty for hurting the Snape family."

Knowing they could not sway Harry, Severus and Lucien allowed him to continue on with his diatribe, even though neither of them particularly liked the course of action he was proposing. Even though the thought of another family suffering as they had was frightening, they certainly did not want Harry to be killed.

When Harry finally talked himself hoarse, Lucien and Severus were both contemplating strategies for helping Harry on his quest, as well as ways to keep him alive. They had no alternative but to do so. Perhaps when he returned to being a teen he wouldn't be so rash in his actions.

Then again, Severus worried, he might go back to being his old arrogant self. "Harry, must you let your Gryffindor vanity, or shall I say foolishness, obscure your better judgement??" Severus sneered, thinking of the teenager he felt he knew better than this angry little boy before him.

"I'm not doing this for anyone's acclaim!" Harry said firmly. "I'm doing this for us, and people like us! Not only as revenge, but because I don't want to see another parent and child torn apart by Mouldyshorts and his henchmen! First it was you and grandfather and grandmum, and then it was us!" Harry turned to face Severus fully. "Do you think I'm doing this for VANITY? Do you think I could live with myself, if another family ends up broken like us? Do you think I could look in the mirror again if I knew I could have done something about it? I'm the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord, do you think I'd throw that away because I was scared? How many more lives have to be ruined before we do something about it? How many more kids like me will never know their mother or grandmother?" Harry sneered in a way that looked so much like Severus's own sneer that Severus shivered. "VANITY! You still don't know your own son very well, do you?"

"Harry, I want you to live. Far more than I want you to seek revenge. No father wants to bury his own son!"

"Then take your own advice, Sevvie." Lucien mumbled into the empty bowl. "Stop spying for Albus Dumbledore."

"As though there were an alternative! I cannot leave, you of all people should know that! Besides, you wished to bury me yourself!" Severus turned on his sire. "Sometimes when you beat me, I truly thought you intended to kill me!"

Lucien lowered his head in shame, "haven't you learned anything from being in The Dark Lord's service? I couldn't help how I treated you! Service to The Dark Lord is dangerous enough, but betraying him can lead to the destruction of everything you are. Those times I beat you until you lost consciousness, I feared I had killed you. But there was little I could do to stop myself, much like watching helplessly whilst another hurts those you love more than your own life."

"And what will you do, if I say that I do not believe you?" Severus hissed through his clenched teeth. "Are you going to backhand me again? Throw me into a tub of scalding water? Flay me until my flesh is raw?"

Shame usurped full control of Lucien's affect. "Sevvie! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't want to hurt you! I never did! Better Voldemort had killed me than to leave you with such a violent father."

"Why did you do it then?" Severus hissed.

"I had sustained severe head injuries. I was mentally ill! I swear I would not have hurt you or your mother otherwise!"

"Mentally ill?" Severus repeated incredulously.

"Your mother should have sent me to St Mungos. Or bashed me unconscious with a caldron when I was in a fit. You should have reported me to your teachers, to the aurors, to anyone, Sevvie. "

"And risk you doing worse if you found out? And will you stop calling me 'Sevvie?'"

"STOP FIGHTING!" Harry yelled, pounding the table with such force that his empty plate clattered to the floor. "How are we supposed to fight with Voldemort if you two can't get on with one another? Please! Father, I know you're really hurt, and you can't forgive Grandfather for how he treated you when you were a lad. And Grandfather, I know you didn't mean to be so cruel, and I know you're really sorry about it now, but it takes time to heal these kinds of wounds. But I love both of you, and I can't stand to see you fighting against each other. It..." This was an entirely new feeling for Harry, and he didn't quite understand how to cope. "It...it hurts my heart when you fight! Watching people I love be both insulted and angry at the same time. It hurts more than if you were both yelling at me somehow!" Harry clutched the hand he had punched the table with and started sobbing. "Owwww, my hand!!"

But his hand was not the reason Harry was crying. Neither Severus nor Lucien believed it to be so.

Severus gently palpated Harry's hand, checking for any broken bones. "Harry, when you decide to go after The Dark Lord, I will be at your side."

"I will help you as well, my grandson. In any way I am able." Lucien smoothed Harry's long hair."You have my word."

"Thenb we'll all attack Mouldyshorts as SNAPES!" Harry said, chomping into a huge slice of roast without cutting it into a more manageable morsel first.


On the porch of Malfoy Mansion, Draco lounged on the swing, languidly watching the house elves as they went about their duties on the grounds. They had healed him within minutes of his arrival home, and he had spent the next few hours riding his broom, playing wizard chess with one of the house elves, and otherwise doing all the things he hadn't been able to do during his time in the muggle world. When he became hungry, the kitchen elves served him all of his favourite foods; and he ate until he was so full, that he had no recourse but to go straight to bed immediately thereafter.

At first, it seemed a pleasure to be at home with no one to tell him what he should do, or when he should do it. He hadn't gone to sleep until nearly four thirty in the morning, and he ran in hallways without worrying about Narcissa admonishing him for it. Lucius had always advised Draco against riding his broom in the night for fear of encounters, or even collisions, with dangerous nocturnal creatures in the air. Last night, Draco rode his broom freely, and saw nothing more than a barn owl whilst in the air. The elves would not tell him what he should do, and they only stood by in case he got injured.

Now Draco was overcome with worry. None of the house elves could tell him of his mother's whereabouts, and although he flooed St. Mungos, no one could tell him anything, except that they had transferred Narcissa to the same muggle hospital on the same day they had transferred Draco there.

Draco entertained the idea of contacting his cousin Nymphadora Tonks for assistance, but their relationship was less than amicable. They were almost strangers in fact, and Draco had only seen her in passing a few times in his life. Narcissa could hardly stand that her sister Andromeda had married a lowly Muggle, and their families had had little contact with one another over the years.

"Bloody Granger!" Draco gritted his teeth when his gaze fell upon one of his father's cloaks hanging on the clothesline. Lucius had always insisted the elves hang his cloaks out in the fresh air rather than merely spelling them fresh. Thanks to Mudblood Granger's need to be a know-it-all and making sure everyone knew it, Lucius Malfoy might never have the chance to wear his fine cloaks ever again. Everywhere Draco looked, he could see the conspicuous absence of his father. And so many missed opportunities.

Draco stood suddenly and commanded the house elves to find things to do on the other side of the mansion. Once they scuttled off, Draco sat heavily in the swing once more. When he was sure they would not see him, Draco sniffled. "Mother..." He clenched his fists. "Father!"

He bolted into the mansion and ran into the library. He decided to return to the muggle hospital, but would learn to make an illegal portkey beforehand. That way, he could easily return to Malfoy Mansion...with another person.


"So why did you join the Death Eaters anyway, Grandfather?" asked Harry.

"Harry!" Severus warned. "You do not ask..."

"It is all right, I anticipated that either you or your father would ask that." Lucien sighed, lowering his ghostly head. He placed a hand gently on his son's shoulder, and was relieved that Severus did not flinch from his touch. "You both deserve an explanation, since I am responsible for starting the Snape family down this path."

Lucien fluffed Severus's pillows and administered another dose of the healing potion before beginning his tale. He levitated the pensieve high enough so that both Severus and Harry could see the images clearly as they swirled out of the semi-solid surface. "We were the happiest family for the nearly two years following Severus's birth."

Images of Lucien doing his revisions for the university revolved slowly from the pensieve. On his back, appearing to be reading over his father's shoulder, was the infant Severus. Lucien had transfigured a harness out of an old rucksack, allowing him to keep baby Severus with him at virtually all times. Harry concluded that baby Severus did not seem to mind, and even appeared to love spending time with his father, especially when his father was working on potions.

"Lucien?" Mervidith poked her head into the lab. "May I have Severus back now?"

"But Mervvie!" Lucien said in an almost whiney voice. He stirred what appeared to be powdered ashwinder eggshells into the caldron. "Sevvie's enjoying this! His inclination toward potions is manifesting itself already. It's best to start his education now as he's fascinated by the subject."

"Well, all right. You know, since Sevvie wants to learn, and since I was expelled from Hogwarts," Mervidith clambered onto a chair on the other side of the caldron, "perhaps you could teach both of us potions then?"

"Delighted to!" Lucien removed the harness and handed Severus to his wife while he described what he was brewing. Baby Severus looked overjoyed to have both parents in the presence of the caldron.

Harry sighed at each blissful image as it floated above the pensieve. The image of Mervidith, swimming in the stream on the grounds of Snape Manor appeared next, and when she put her arms out in front of her, Harry almost jumped into them, forgetting momentarily that he was only looking at Lucien's memories. He turned around and saw that she had been encouraging baby Severus to swim over to her when Lucien released him in the cool waters. There were memories of the family just sleeping on their shared bed next, followed by a scene of them playing a game of one on one, or rather one on two, quidditch on the grounds.

The infant Severus giggled and held on tightly to Lucien's long white hair as he executed a nose dive for the snitch. Harry jumped back from the Pensieve, for Mervidith, who was also after the snitch, came at them at top speed. Neither Mervidith nor Lucien ended up taking the snitch, for it was baby Severus who had grabbed it as it tried to zoom away.

"You're a seeker at Hogwarts are you not?" Lucien asked.

"Yes I am. And I think I've just learned where I inherited my seeker skills from!" Harry nodded. "Why didn't you ever play quidditch, father?"

Severus merely huffed in response, unwilling to tell Harry the real reason.

"Our happiness was short-lived..." Lucien lamented as the images of the Snape family at a muggle circus flickered above the pensieve. Lucien and Mervidith, were seated in the audience with Severus tucked comfortably between them. They had dressed the toddler in a bright red muscle shirt and loud purple jeans, which Harry was sure Severus would have objected to if he could have. Lucien had greased his long white hair, and magically arranged it in a very big rebel-without-a-cause style. He wore a leather jacket, a white muscle shirt and tight blue denims, which Harry thought somewhat strange for some one who couldn't even look at a men's bodybuilding magazine without being shocked. Mervidith fastened her long, burning coal coloured hair into two ponytails with big white ribbons. She wore a white jumper, a long periwinkle skirt with poodles embroidered on it, and matching bobby socks. On their feet, the Snapes all wore shiny, patent leather shoes.

"On weekends, we often ventured as a family into the muggle world. To better infiltrate the world of muggles, I became the muggle known as Tobias Snape, and eventually paid muggle taxes as Tobias Snape. Greedy, though the muggle ministry is, it was necessary to better understand the workings of their world. Besides, the new experiences there were like a holiday to an exotic place for us every week. There were so many things to see."

"Oy! Yes I'm talking to you, you James Dean copy." Harry frowned as a carnival employee teased Lucien unmercifully. "You think you're man enough to ring the bell eh? Come on!"

Lucien moved closer to an apparatus he had obviously never seen before. Judging from the giant numerals written in a scale like configuration, he guessed it were some sort of muggle gauging device. He was fascinated also by the glowing letters at the top of the contraption, which spelled out 'Test Your Strength.' "Test your strength?" Lucien asked the proprietor.

"Yeah! Think you're strong enough to ring that bell?" The proprietor asked, tossing the mallet from one hand to the other.

"Anyone could cause that bell to toll, although I fear I may not be tall enough to reach it," Lucien replied, making as if to walk away, "one would need to be as tall as a...giant of myth."

"Whoah, you're not from around here are you?" the proprietor then demonstrated how Lucien was not supposed to hit the bell with the mallet, but how he was supposed to hit the target at the base of the device with enough force.

"Thank you for the demonstration, but I have more productive things to do with my..."

"Ah gowan! You're just being a chicken!" the proprietor mocked. "Bet you're really a weakling! A pansy!"

"I assure you, I am neither a weakling, nor a pansy!" Lucien had had enough. He removed his leather jacket and draped it over little Severus's shoulders. Lucien handed the man some coins, then picked up the mallet and struck the target with so much force, it not only rang the bell, but knocked it right off the apparatus.

The proprietor grumpily handed Lucien a teddy bear even larger than baby Severus was.

Lucien offered the proprietor more coins."After you repair your 'Test Your Strength' machine, I wonder if I might play again? I would like to win an additional bear replica for my..."

"NO! They ought to ban goons like you from public places!" The proprietor yelled, refusing to take the coins. "G'WAN! BEAT IT!"

Harry thought it was funny to watch a wizarding family, turned loose at a muggle fair. It was even more pleasant for Harry, because he knew the family in question was his own. The poor fair officials apparently did not know what had hit them! Harry was not sure if Lucien were really that skilled, or had used magic to win many of the prizes at the game kiosks.

Harry also noticed that Mervidith, Lucien and Severus appeared to be eating constantly. Each time the family moved from one activity to the next, they purchased more carnival food to eat on the way. Not even the Dursleys had allowed Dudley to eat as much candy floss as little Severus was happily enjoying. When Mervidith and Lucien started on their fourth pieces of strawberry pie, Harry concluded that they must have been bewitching their stomachs to accommodate the colossal amount of food. How could anyone consume so much without becoming sick anyway? Harry wondered also how they could play the games so proficiently with their bellies so full of nutritionally deficient food. When one of the people minding a ring-toss kiosk teased Mervidith, she not only ringed the prize with one of the hoops, she also ringed the proprietor's nose.

Harry found his grandparents to be a bit irresponsible when it came to the carnival rides however, since they took little Severus on everything with them, including the roller coaster. If Severus were afraid of Ferris wheels and roller coasters as an adult, Harry knew exactly who to blame for that! What parents took a baby on a roller coaster anyhow?

The scene changed to the bumper cars attraction. Harry laughed to see his grandmother driving so aggressively that the other drivers avoided her like the plague. When the ride was over, the other drivers seemed to be exiting the attraction for the sole purpose of getting away from the radical bobbysoxer that would one day be Harry's grandmother.

"Mervvie, dear." young Lucien said as the family made their way out of the fairgrounds later that evening. "You seem a bit parched."

"Well," Mervidith said, stopping so Severus could get a better look at the elephants next to the circus tent, "I am a little thirsty."

"Not good," Lucien said. "You're still lactating. You must remain well hydrated to assure a good supply. Severus will be the worse for it if you don't."

"I'll be sure to drink a whole decanter of water when we get home." Mervidith replied.

"Too right you will." Lucien nodded, kissing baby Severus on the forehead. "But while we're still here, I shall purchase more beverages for us."

Severus and Mervidith looked very pleased at that.

Lucien trudged to the large concession stand at the opposite end of the fairgrounds. Instead of just purchasing chocolate malts for them, Lucien could not resist buying a little of every food item on the menu. Save for a few items common to both the muggle and magical world, Lucien had never tried the majority those things on the menu until that day, and decided that it would make the family's trip to the fair all the more memorable if they dined on all varieties of carnival food after they arrived home as well.

Lucien walked back in the direction of his wife and child a short time later, struggling to carry the many boxes of circus fare along with the giant teddy bear he had won earlier. Mervidith particularly loved the grilled sandwiches, funnel cakes and sugar coated popcorn, while Sevvie enjoyed the caramel apples, grilled cheese sandwiches, and candy floss, so Lucien bought extra quantities of those items.

A loud explosion resonated through the grounds. At the sight of smoke rising above the area just outside the big tent, where he had left his family, Lucien dropped what he was carrying and started running toward it. "Mervvie!! Sevvieeeee!!!"

"Sir! We cannot allow you to go in there." A constable attempted to hold Lucien away from the blast site. "It's too dangerous, there might be another bomb yet to go off..."

Lucien shoved the uniformed official over, and muscled his way past several other officers as he ran into the still smoking blast site. The bodies of wounded carnival attendees were everywhere, and at last Lucien found Mervidith and Severus; laying side by side next to a dead elephant.

"It was a turbulent time in the Muggle world," Lucien explained as the sounds of Lucien screaming over Mervidith and Severus's bodies echoed in the room. "Evidently some rebellious muggles called terrorists had set off a dirty bomb on the fairgrounds. Your grandmother and father were well within the bomb's blast radius, were it not for the elephant shielding them, they would have surely died from the force of the blast alone."

"What did you mean by a 'dirty bomb,' grandfather?" asked Harry.

"The bomb was laced with deadly toxins." Lucien replied sadly. "I knew something was very strange about the blast because the fumes caused my eyes and skin to burn and it was very painful to breathe, much more so than if it were just ordinary smoke. I recovered after a few days in St. Mungos, but your grandmother and father grew steadily worse..."

"Mr. Snape," the mediwizard said. "Your wife and son are very ill. We've done all we can for them but..."

"ARE YOU SAYING THEY ARE DYING?!" Lucien grabbed the mediwizard's robes and backed him into the wall.

"I'm truly sorry, Mr. Snape..." The mediwizard sighed. "We've never dealt with a non-magical weapon of this sort. Their blood is now poisoned, and the gasses have burned away much of the lining on their lungs. Their hearts are damaged, and although we've attempted to heal them, our efforts have only caused more injuries. Their digestive tracts are too compromised for any potions to be administered, and all the magics we've attempted have only damaged their bodies further as their tissues are extremely fragile. And your little one, although your wife took more of the blast, it left his eardrums ruptured and he has extensive blast wounds throughout his soft tissues. And their livers..."

Lucien slammed the mediwizard into the wall repeatedly. "Unacceptable! I'll not hear that you cannot cure them! There must be a course of action you haven't attempted!"

"Release me!" the mediwizard screeched. "URF! We've done everything...OW! I tell you...Agh!"

Lucien continued to ram the mediwizard into the wall until he passed out.

"I had them transferred to a muggle hospital, but even the doctors there could not save Mervvie and Sevvie." Lucien looked sadly at the pensieve, showing the younger version of himself pacing the room back in Snape Manor, where Mervidith and Severus lay motionless on a four poster bed.

"So what did you do?" Harry asked.

"I researched everything I could find in the hopes of saving their lives. Your grandmother and father were at the centre of my world, and as their deaths drew nearer, I grew more and more desperate. When no legal course of action seemed feasible, I even consulted the dark arts texts in the hopes of finding a viable treatment." Harry watched as the scene changed to show Lucien, seated at a desk in a grand library, and perusing a stack of large tomes. Seated next to him, was a little blonde boy who Harry initially thought was Draco Malfoy, but judging from the year it was then, concluded the boy could only have been Lucius Malfoy. The boy Lucius climbed off of his chair and ran along a row of shelves only to return later with a book almost too large for him to carry.

"Thank you, Lucius." Lucien patted the boy, who looked very much like him, on the head. He quickly began reading the book his little clone had brought him, which Harry saw was titled: 'Potions Apocrypha: A Compendium of Illegal Potions Employing the Dark Arts.' The little boy grinned widely, returned to his seat next to Lucien and resumed looking at a circus souvenir picture book.

"For the next few days, when my father left for his job at the ministry, my mother admitted me to Malfoy Manor so that I could study the dark arts books in their vast libraries; hoping desperately each time for a potion, or some other form of treatment, that could save your father and grandmother. Early on the third day, I found a potion that looked promising."

Little Lucius had been laying with his head in Lucien's lap when Lucien jumped off the couch excitedly.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" bawled Lucius, laying on the floor and rubbing his head.

"My apologies," Lucien replied, pulling Lucius into his arms and putting an all day sucker, purchased for the sole purpose of bribery, into the boy's mouth. "Thank you, Lucius, you've been of great assistance to me."

"MMMrph mray!" little Lucius replied, sucking on the giant lollipop.


"The concoction I had found was one of the most potent healing potions known. It is absorbed directly into the bloodstream through the skin, rather than ingested; just what would be needed, as their digestive tracts were impaired. This healing potion was also a powerful, and fast-acting broad spectrum regenerator. It is strong enough to reanimate the dead if employed promptly after death. The only problem, it is brewed from ingredients either illegal or almost impossible to acquire, including a whole phoenix heart."

"Phoenix heart?" Harry gasped. "So since phoenixes are reborn from the ashes when they burn, does taking out the heart make the phoenix really dead?"

"Yes it does, that is why the potion is so illegal to brew. Phoenixes are rare creatures that are protected under our laws. But I was willing to break any law or do anything for your grandmother and father. There was no price too high." The images of Lucien having the doors of several shops in Knockturn Alley slammed in his face played above the stone bowl. One shop owner had two of his employees throw the pale young adult into the street. "Unfortunately, I could not acquire all the ingredients needed to brew the potion. Not even those who dealt exclusively in dark arts items could sell me a phoenix heart. But I would not be deterred. I was willing pay any price. Any at all."


Both Harry and Severus gasped as a very human looking Voldemort appeared opposite Lucien. The room they were in was illuminated only by torches which glowed an eerie blue colour. The walls were all done in black marble, and the only thing breaking the continuity of black in the background, were the white, early versions of Death Eater masks.

"Sssso," Voldemort, who looked more like the Tom Riddle Harry remembered from the bewitched diary, hissed, "you are pledging loyalty and your ssservices to our cause?"

"Yes...master." Lucien knelt on the floor and bowed his head. "I will serve as your potions brewer for as long as you require."


"In exchange for my service and loyalty to the Death Eaters, The Dark Lord not only produced a phoenix for me, but virtually all the other illegal ingredients I would require to brew the potion that would save Mervvie and Sevvie's lives."

Harry turned away as the younger Lucien rolled up his sleeve and bowed beside a stone slab. Voldemort put on a pair of heavy gloves, picked up a glowing iron from the fire and pressed it into Lucien's arm.


"Now go and ssssave your wife and your ssson. You are to report back to thisss location in a month'sss time." The Dark Lord instructed as one of his masked Death Eaters moved out of the circle holding a bound, live phoenix in his gloved hands. Voldemort took the phoenix from his minion and flung it to Lucien. "Goyle hasss already delivered the ressst of your ssssupplies to the universssity. Use them well, and come back in 30 dayssss, you will begin your dutiessss then."

The scene changed to show Lucien back in a much larger lab in Snape Manor. Although his newly made brand appeared to be bothering him greatly, he worked feverishly at the caldrons, only stopping to check frequently on Mervidith and Severus, who were huddled together under the covers of the four poster bed in a room beside the lab.


Both Severus and Harry stared transfixed on the images playing above the pensieve, as Lucien added bowl after bowl full of unidentifiable substances to the caldron, turning the mixture a sickly greyish-green colour. Harry turned away as Lucien seized the beautiful phoenix, cut out its still beating heart, and placed it into the cauldron, where it pumped the bubbling liquid like swamp-coloured blood.

He then prepared the most difficult ingredient. Lucien unfastened the front of his robes and began cutting into the soft tissues of his own belly.

The phoenix heart within the caldron continued to pump the potion through it, effectively blending the substances, and turning the potion gradually a lighter grey colour.


"Grandfather!" screeched Harry, as young Lucien began to groan in pain. "What were you doing then?!"

"The last ingredient the potion required was a kilogram of living flesh from a family member." Lucien replied.

"A whole kilogram?! But...you're not related by blood to either of them?" Harry muttered, watching as the pale, young adult went even paler as he bled profusely from where he was incising himself. Yet, Lucien was undaunted, continuing to painfully slice out slabs of his own flesh and place them on the scale before him. After what seemed to be an eternity, the scale measured a whole kilogram. He hastily tore shreds from his robes and bound his bleeding wounds. Neither Harry nor Severus could understand how Lucien was still conscious at this point, but he pulled himself upright and chopped the flesh into very small pieces before adding them into the cauldron. The potion quickly turned from light grey to bright red, and began to churn fiercely. The phoenix heart began to pump more forcefully, circulating the pieces of flesh throughout the potion. When Lucien swished his wand in a crisscrossed pattern and spoke the incantation, the entire potion appeared to explode.

When the heavy clouds of black smoke receded, the once blood-red liquid in the cauldron had turned into a shimmering silver gel-like substance. All the bits of plant matter, the phoenix heart, and the flesh had disappeared. Satisfied, Lucien fell to the floor, and lost consciousness.

He had simply bled too much.


Harry wrapped his arms around the ghost of the man in the pensieve, and noticed that the ghost's torso felt as though it had the indentations of deep scars. "Living flesh from a family member? I think I understand now...only a family member would love someone enough to brew a potion like that... You don't have to be related by blood to love some one like your own family."

Severus hid his face in his hands. He did not need to see the images that followed, for these were among his earliest memories, repressed until that very moment. He remembered Lucien, who appeared to be in firm grip of agony, hobbling into the room with a jar of that silvery healing gel. Severus remembered feeling very sick and being in a considerable amount pain following their trip to the muggle fair. Then he remembered his father's hands, how soothing they were then, and how the pain subsided on contact with that powerful healing substance. He remembered thinking that his father was the best potion master in the world, for he began to feel better within minutes having the gel applied to his skin. Lucien then applied the gel to his wife before collapsing in shock, on the floor next to the four poster bed.

The memory flickered, and Harry concluded it was because Lucien had lost consciousness then, hence the lack of memory. The next image showed both Mervidith and little Severus leaning over Lucien in concern, both their healing hands on his abdominal region. Even though neither of them were using wands, Lucien felt his wounds healing beneath their loving hands. It was not a perfect healing, for he was missing far too much tissue to heal without deep scars, but it mattered little. It was uncertain as to how much time had passed, but Mervidith and Severus had recovered. They were going to live. And Lucien, who was still too weak to sit up, held the two people dearest to him in the world and wept with joy.

"Father," Severus said, still not raising his head, "was that the Amorvirtutisumbra Vivosvoco potion?"

Lucien looked mildly surprised. "Yes it was. You know of it? You've studied dark potions?"

"It was required of me to learn the brewing of dark potions, as I am now The Dark Lord's potion master."

"Uh... what does Amorvi- amorvi... oh, whatever you said mean?" Harry asked. "That's a long name for a potion."

"Translated, it means 'the shadow of love's virtue to summon the living.' Only a person who truly loves the intended recipients, would attempt that potion, for the potion's strength relies greatly on the love energy the brewer puts into it. Furthermore, because a kilogram of flesh is a dangerous quantity for the body to relinquish at one time, many potion masters have died in the brewing of it. "Severus replied his voice uncharacteristically shaky.

"Died?!" Harry gasped.

"The individual brewing the Amorvirtutisumbra Vivosvoco must be willing to sacrifice his or herself to save the lives of the ones they wish to heal." Severus explained. "The phoenix heart makes the potion remarkably powerful as it is, but the addition of the kilogram of the brewer's flesh amplifies the potion's strength tenfold."

"So Grandfather, when you put your own flesh in the caldron, because it was still alive and contained your magic, it was magnified by the spell you cast on it?" Harry extrapolated. "Is that what makes it so powerful?"

"You have a brilliant mind Harry!" Lucien knelt before his grandson.

"The potion brewed with the phoenix heart alone may have helped them, but they still might have died." Harry shivered. "You added your own flesh to make sure they survived, because you loved them."

"You have your father's sharp intellect, Harry." Lucien commended.

"And father has your kind heart." Harry replied, thinking of all the times Severus had saved him at great risk to his own life.

Harry wondered how this man had turned into the abusive father that had so terrorized Severus. The pensieve seemed to have heard the question in his mind, and displayed the image of Lucien brewing a massive quantity of potions in a laboratory illuminated by eerie, greenish torches. Harry could not ascertain exactly how long young Lucien had been working, although judging from how many caldrons were simmering simultaneously at varying stages, he concluded it must have been for several hours.

"Ssssnape. " Voldemort entered the laboratory. "You're coming with ussss on a missssion tonight."

"Yes Master," Lucien paused from his duties long enough to bow reverently to the very human appearing Voldemort.


"My identity of Tobias Snape quickly became more a curse than a blessing, for The Death Eaters quickly found a means to exploit it.

"Exploit it?" Harry shivered as he spoke.

"Tobias Snape was my identity as a muggle man, and in addition to my duties as potion brewer, I was also employed as a strategist in the planning of attacks on muggle towns and villages." Lucien stated, as the image of a younger, short-haired Lucien appeared about the stone bowl. As Tobias, Lucien typically wore muggle suits and appeared at community gatherings and busy streets.

"Like you, Severus, I often acted against The Dark Lord orders, and strived to spare as many lives as I could do without The Dark Lord knowing of my betrayal. For a time, I was successful, but when I warned the muggle leaders in the town of Whitby of the impending attack, I was not aware that one of The Dark Lord's faithful had been spying on me."

Harry and Severus both shuddered.


"Crucio!" Voldemort cursed Lucien without warning, as he worked at a caldron one night. The pale man to fall to the floor of his labs screaming, the potion soon bubbling over, untended. The Dark Lord never lifted the curse until Lucien passed out, and the images above the pensieve ceased as well.

When the images above the Pensieve materialised once more, Lucien was still laying on the floor in the labs. "Since you are untrustworthy as a strategist, your duties are hereafter terminated. But sssince you agreed to be a potionsss masster, then that is what you'll do. You'll brew all the potions I require."

"Yes, Master."Lucien bowed.

Voldemort handed Lucien a parchment which must have been at least two metres long. "You're to produce every potion on the lissst, and as punissshment for your acting against me in the town of Whitby, you'll not be allowed food or rest until you've completed all thessse potionsss."

It would potentially take him many days to complete all the potions. Lucien looked as though he wanted to protest, for he was already exhausted and feeling very poorly from having the cruciatus curse cast on him earlier, but he nodded and willingly set to work. The sooner he could complete his tasks, the sooner he'd be allowed to go home to Mervidith and Severus.

After what seemed to be an eternity even within the condensed time within the pensieve, Lucien stoppered the last vial of a blood red potion. Harry and Severus both gaped when they saw at least eighty phials of the substance, although the Lucien in the pensieve seemed too tired to show anything other than fatigue on his face.


"At the time, I did not understand why The Dark Lord wanted some of these substances. Stamina enhancers and healing potions I can understand, but things like the Animalia? The Animalia is just a novelty potion really, something potions students slip into an unsuspecting person's drink to turn the drinker into a grunting, knuckle-dragging unevolved version of themselves for an hour or so." Lucien stated.

"Is that how it is supposed to be used?" Harry asked.

"Yes, it was created originally by a potions student who was fond of pranks." Lucien explained. "All it does is temporarily inhibit much of the neuronal activity in the higher portions of the individual's brain. Hence they are left very primal versions of their brains, and act like animals. It was sold in joke shops for a time, but too many parents complained of their children savaging the furniture or feasting on the raw meat of hares they caught whilst under the influence of the animalia."

"Leave it to Mouldyshorts to come up with a way to misuse a potion that's supposed to be used as only a joke." Harry said angrily, remembering only too well what he had seen happen to Severus.

"Yes..." Lucien sighed.


Young Lucien was cleaning the work area in the lab when a group of ten robed Death Eaters entered the labs. Voldemort handed each of them a blood red phial which they immediately ingested. Thinking that the only immediate danger was that the glass beakers and phials would be broken by Voldemort's wild minions, Lucien quickly spelled the potion racks from the shelves into the nearby reagent room, and locked the door.

"Lucien," Voldemort began. "Remove your robes."

"What?" Lucien gasped.

"You need to be punished for your betrayal. Remove your robes at once."

"Have I not been punished already? Master, forgive me for questioning you, but I am weary. If you feel the need to punish me further, can this not wait until later?"

Voldemort administered the Cruciatus curse as his answer. He lifted it after thirty seconds and ordered Lucien to remove his robes once more.

Weakened, and in too much pain to object, Lucien slowly removed his gloves, his protective robes and just as he began unbuttoning his white frock coat, he realised that the Animalia-Influenced minions were fighting over his discarded items of clothing, and in the process, tearing them to shreds. Each shred was sniffed, and Lucien realised that the ten were scenting him, and marking him for prey.

Terrified, Lucien started to run toward the exit.

One of the robed figures pounced on him and began biting hard into his neck. A second assailant raked at Lucien with an iron claw-fitted, gloved hand, tearing through his frock coat and shirt, and into his flesh. A third feral Death Eater drew his wand, but because he no longer had the capability of casting spells, he struck Lucien in the head repeatedly with it; sending unfocussed, blasts of magic directly into his head.


The ghost Lucien frantically agitated the surface of the pensieve. He neither wanted to see what had been done to him, nor did he wish to share this particular portion of his memory with Severus or Harry. He did not need to be reminded, for this was an incident that gave him years of nightmares in life, and was a memory he could not forget even in death.

But flashes of the violent assault still flickered above the pensieve, and Lucien's screams resounded throughout the room. Neither Harry nor Severus could fathom that such brutality could ever be done to another living thing.

When the neither solid nor liquid surface of the pensieve settled once more, the images appeared very disjointed, and Harry thought it was only because Lucien had stirred its surface so violently. When the images remained broken even after the surface was completely calm once more, Harry realized it was because Lucien's brain must have been damaged then. Hearing Lucien state that he could not produce a complete thought in life was one thing, seeing it was another thing entirely.

"You are not to esscape by dying, White Sssnake." Voldemort said to Lucien, whose body was so badly mauled that Harry could not understand how he was still alive. There seemed to be more blood spilled around his body than remained inside him. Lucien's skin was literally ripped from his flesh in many places and even the flesh along his side had been ripped away, exposing four of his ribs. His arms and legs were broken, mangled and lay at odd angles. There were also bite marks all over his body, and one particularly harsh bite had broken the bones in his hand. "You will only die by my leave! You are my minion now, I will tell you when you may die!"

Lucien's breath came in harsh rasps, and suddenly stopped.

"Do not permit him to die!" The human Voldemort shouted, and four mediwizards, still clad in Death Eater robes, immediately cast a series of spells on him until Lucien commenced his laboured breathing. This occurred twice more, and Voldemort was forced to intervene, using magics to prevent Lucien from escaping his service with death.

"You sssee death ssseeking to devour you, but you are now mine, Lucien Snape." Voldemort hissed.

Lucien only sobbed in response, as the mediwizards set about repairing his body. His tears flowed into his hair, which was no longer white, but stained red from his own blood.

"Make him live! Make him live!" Voldemort ordered over Lucien's cries.


The scene flickered like a poorly edited film and next showed Lucien limping up the steps into Snape Manor. The next image was of little Severus hugging his father's legs and Mervidith hugging her husband in relief.

"Where have you been? We've missed you so much!" Mervidith gently lead Lucien to a sofa, and offered him a cup of tea which he accepted, but dropped on the floor with his very unsteady hand. "OH Dearest, you've been hurt! Everywhere! What has happened to you?"

"I do not wish to talk about it." Lucien broke free of both their grasps and tried to hobble away.

The image flickered and showed Lucien pushing Severus away when the little boy tried kissing his bruised hand. "But daddy's hand is broke!" Little Severus tried putting his lips to Lucien's partially healed hand again, and again, prompting Lucien to kick young Severus away forcefully.

"I am aware that you're not feeling well, but really Lucien, he's just a baby! Sevvie was only trying to he-"

Lucien backhanded Mervidith before she could finish. "LEAVE ME BE!! THE BOTH OF YOU!"

"Now SEE HERE LUCIEN!" Mervidith quickly found an uninjured area on Lucien's face and slapped him back. "We are a family! We both want to help you! What's wrong? Tell me how we can help..."

Swearing wrathfully, Lucien threw Mervidith to the floor. Before she could react, he jumped and pummelled Mervidith until her shocked questions turned into entreaties for mercy. Little Severus begged his father to stop, then he tried pulling his mother to safety, finally he lay his tiny body over hers to shield her from subsequent blows.

The images became more disjointed and jumbled. Young Severus was wailing as he watched his mother being beaten. In the next scene, Lucien was beating Severus with a belt. Mervidith tried to intervene, and soon Lucien's wrath was turned firmly upon her. The scene wavered, then showed Mervidith trying to console a fretting young Severus, while holding a compress on a bleeding cut on her head. "Why is daddy so mad at you? Was I bad?" little Severus bawled.

Another flicker, and Lucien threw the toddler Severus violently out of the labs. The child crashed into a shelf in the hall, leaving him bruised and wailing.

"SHUT UP, you infernal prat!" Lucien shouted, tossing a heavy tome hard into Severus's side.

One more flicker and a group of Death Eaters floated above the pensieve.

"Ssssnape!" Voldemort motioned to the muggle man cowering in the centre of the group. "Kill him."

Harry was sure that even a very brain damaged Lucien would not go that far, but Lucien stepped out of the circle. He held a knife to the man's face and handed him a phial. "Drink!"

The muggle man swallowed the potion fast, and fell down dead seconds later.

The images continued to appear above the pensieve with progressively less and less clarity. All Harry could see were fleeting glimpses of a past which made no sense and frightening sense at the same time. A past that had turned Mervidith Snape from a contented young mother into a battered woman; a jovial, curious child into a dour shadow of a man; and a caring, loving father and husband into a violent, abusive man. The scenes eventually became impossible to follow and nearly incomprehensible. The gradual degeneration of Lucien's mind was markedly evident.


Harry looked to Lucien, expecting him to continue. Instead, Lucien had his ghostly head lowered in shame, tears falling silently on his hands in his lap, as he knelt on the floor. "I'm so sorry, Sevvie. And I apologise to you as well, Harry."

"Grandfather..." Harry leaned into Lucien's side. "So this all happened, because you couldn't get the things you needed to brew the Amorvi...Amorvir"

"Amorvirtutisumbra Vivosvoco." Lucien wiped his eyes on his sleeve and slid into a seated position, dropping the pensieve and spilling a small quantity of the contents on the floor. "I am such a fool! The price for the ingredients... I could not foresee how high the price would ultimately be!"

"Oh father, I didn't know!! All this time, I always believed you joined the Death Eaters because you were inherently cruel." Severus said, stumbling out of the bed. "If only you could have told me!"

"There was so much I wanted to say to you for years, Sevvie...Severus. So much I wanted to tell you. But I wish I had had the ability to listen to you more while I lived." Lucien said, approaching his son slowly on the floor as the pensieve continued to display broken images from a past Severus could only recall parts of. "When you believed me to be dead, and you were about to bury me. I could still hear you. I heard you say: 'I love you, dad! I may have been a big disappointment to you, but I tried. I really did, and no matter what, I love you dad.' Severus, I know I've treated you horribly, unfairly so! But let me assure you, my son, I do love you. I always have, even when I lost the ability to show you. And you are NOT a disappointment to me. You never were, in spite of what I may have said. I regret that I never told you this when you seemed to need it most, but I am proud of you. I was proud of you then, and I am proud of you now."

Harry expected Severus to chafe at his father's praise. Instead, it appeared as though a weight Severus had been forced to bear for too long was lifted; now his father carried the burden with him.

Lucien put a hand on Severus's shoulder. "You rose above your horrid upbringing and became one of the best students Hogwarts has ever had. My faulty brain could only see your weaknesses then, but I was still proud of who you were. You were my son! Blood may not..."

"Hold father." Severus interrupted. "Since you've brewed the Amorvirtutisumbra Vivosvoco, using your own flesh, you are a part of me now."

Harry stopped to think about it. "So if the phoenix heart had healing properties...yet the potion both heals and regenerates... your flesh helped regenerate the parts of them that were too damaged to be rebuilt with the healing potion alone."

"That is a lovely way to think of it." Lucien nodded to Harry. "But the other agents used in the potion suppress the markers in my flesh so that their immune systems would not reject..."

"Still, it was your flesh that provided the raw materials so they could rebuild their own tissues, so you are part of them." Harry argued. "And a part of me."

Severus's voice took on a very odd intonation. "John and Jephthah Potter were not potions masters, yet I had an interest in potions similar to yours. Even though you cast me from the labs, and would no longer encourage me, I still followed in your path and became a potion master myself."

"And you grew up to be one of the best potions masters in the entire UK." Lucien hesitantly put his other hand on Severus's shoulder, and to his relief, Severus not only didn't pull away, but he returned a tentative embrace. "And you've become a wonderful father yourself, in spite of how poor an example you had."

"I am not a wonderful father. Although I believe myself to be just an adequate father." Severus tried to pull away, but Lucien would not release him.

"No you're not!" Harry protested joining in the huddle, thereby forcing Lucien and Severus even closer to one another. "You are a GREAT father! As a teenager, I had some trouble seeing you that way, but I'm glad I'm a child again because now I can see things differently, more purely and clearly than before. And I know you're a great father."

"You have so much wisdom to see your father as he truly is." Lucien stated. "If you're this brilliant as a child, what must you be like as a teen with a more mature brain to process information with?"

Harry found it odd that Severus had not protested to being praised, and thought that it was one of the rare occasions that Severus had been too moved to do so. After a few moments, Severus turned to Harry. "Now that your body can tolerate magic again, would you like to be reaged?"

"Uh..." Harry began.

"Sevvie...the mark!" Lucien gasped as he sensed the mark on his son's arm glowing against his shoulder.

"He's summoning..." Severus gasped.

"THAT BLOODY BASTARD!" Harry yelled before covering his mouth in surprise. He could not believe he had used such an expletive, and he braced himself for reprimands from both his father and grandfather.

None came. Lucien gently helped Severus to his feet and walked him to one of the bedrooms.

"Father, I must go back to Snape Manor Two for my..." said Severus.

"There is no time. The Dark Lord will hurt you for any delay." Lucien pulled some clothes out of the closet, and quickly shrank them to fit his son's lithe body. "You may use my clothes and my Death Eater mask."

"Very well," Severus nodded, quickly throwing off the oversized nightshirt and reaching for the clothes Lucien had laid out for him.

Harry stomped into the room after his grandfather and father, seething with anger. Voldemort must have known the Interventio Interferous potion would have worn off around that time, and the evil wizard had wasted no time in summoning Severus. And for what? More punishments? More tortures? To restock the potions supplies? Like a house elf for him to command?! LIKE A RUDDY SLAVE?

While Severus was occupied with the doing up the many buttons of the white shirt, Lucien covertly muttered an incantation over his old Death Eater mask, which had laid unused for over seventeen years. When Severus reached for the white frock coat, which was identical to the coats he ordinarily wore, except for the fact that it was white, Harry grabbed it. "I don't want you to go!" Harry shouted.

"Harry, I do not wish to leave, as there are still matters to discuss here. But I cannot stay." Severus replied, easily pulling the coat from the little boy and putting it on.

Frightened of what Voldmort would do to his father, Harry jumped on Severus's back and pulled the still weakened man to the floor. Once Severus was down, Harry climbed on him and held him with unusual strength for a child. "No! I won't lose you again! No! Nooo! What if the DARK BASTARD hurts you again? What if he kills you?"

"Harry, he must go." Lucien gently took Harry into his arms. "It will mean his death if he doesn't."

"It's not fair!" Harry wailed like the small child he was. "It's not fair! It's not fair! FATHER! FATHER!!"

For once, Severus truly seemed at a loss. He did not want to leave Harry, but he also did not want Voldemort to kill him, thereby leaving Harry without a parent once more. Lucien held Harry in his arms as the child continued to scream for his father.

Severus sprang to his feet and started running out the door. He fell thrice as he went, for he was still weak from illness. He turned back and nodded to Lucien. "Take care of him for me, father."

"I will." Lucien nodded, tears welling in his own eyes. He remembered all too well what service to the Death Eaters entailed.

Although Severus could normally will himself not to cry in front of his father, he could not help it this time. He pulled off the white mask and looked at his father sadly. "Goodbye, father."

The ghost Lucien smiled in a way that brought back to Severus many repressed memories of his loving father. A caring father he thought was only a product of his own wishful thinking until today. A father who was real, and only lacked a body now. "Farewell, my son."

Severus tried to put the white mask on, but it would not adhere properly to his face. His face was too moist with tears. He turned to Harry, who still had his own face buried in his grandfather's chest. "Farewell, my son." Severus sobbed before running out of Snape Manor One, across the grounds, and out of the barrier where he apparated away.

End Part Thirty-Six