Sun Glory For Mankind

Chapter Seven

Cambrunsinburg and his troupe arrived at Zancrushin Valley. Aladdin had to be here, for they had searched all the other places he was supposed to visit and discovered not a trace. If he was not here, they were goners.

"I'll check," Onlepth offered. "I'm small and speedy and will be back in a jiff."

"Peanut butter," Bactrax said, as Onlepth vanished into the valley.

"Don't think about food at a time like this," Cambrunsinburg warned. "It's time to figure out how we are to destroy Aladdin if the shrimp reports back that he is here."

"Shrimp taste good fried," said Bactrax.

"Can you imbeciles think about anything other than your stomachs?"

"Stop generalizing, Cam," said Tonclor, the tall one. "I'd rather starve than eat when we're on a mission."

"So you say. But what about the four hundred wild berries you stole from the village we passed three days ago? You didn't seem so keen to pursue your duty then."

"Ah, but Cam, sometimes a famished belly takes over one's mind."

"Not mine. My mind is perfectly free from such temptations," their leader said.

"I smell maize," Bactrax said, sniffing the air.

"It's called corn, you big oaf. When will that shrimp get back?"

"It's a wide valley, Cam. Don't be impatient."

Shortly Onlepth returned with good news. "He is indeed in this valley and has fallen under the spell of the enchantress, Nharla."

"Oh, goodie. We get to babysit a lovesick puppy," the leader said, sarcastically. "Well, Shrimp, you get the honor of showing us the way."

"Stop calling me Shrimp!"

"I'm the leader and I can call you whatever I desire! Do you dare question my authority?"

"No, I question your sagacity."

"Trying out your big words on me now, aren't you? I order you to be quiet for the rest of this mission. One peep out of you and I'll strangle your throat."

"If you can catch me, that is," Onlepth muttered under his breath.

Tonclor, despite being the tallest, had sensitive ears and related this last impudence to the leader.

"Too bad he doesn't know about my pores," Cambrunsinburg whispered to Tonclor, "which can lure any of you three to my body whenever I choose, like a magnet. It doesn't matter how fast Shrimp is. If he makes me angry, I'll kill him."

"Oh, heavenly maize," said Bactrax. "All around us. What we need is some Crisco and I'll be happy."

"Why don't you wait for some grilled Aladdin?" the leader asked, as Nharla's tent came into view.

"Is that a foreign dish?"

"No, you stupid lout! Aladdin is the man we're supposed to keep from returning to the sultan's palace"

"But I thought we were supposed to get a bowl of broccoli au gratin and bring it to the sultan's palace."

"Ugh!" Cambrunsinburg exclaimed, aiming a punch at Bactrax' thick armor.

"We're here," Tonclor announced when Onlepth pointed to his mouth to indicate that he was pledged to silence.

"Hmmm…nice pad. Too bad the boy and his little girlfriend are about to suffer such pain. Oh well…"

Cambrunsinburg tore at the tent flap and poked his head in. It was a lot more commodious inside than out, which baffled him. Wasn't there some kind of law that made this impossible? Unless magic was at hand here. Hadn't the shrimp called Nharla an enchantress? Yeah, that must be it. Oh, never mind. Just grab Aladdin and run.

He entered the tent and searched for humans. They were in the back and all he could see here was a glow-in-the-dark lobster. Did lobsters normally glow in the dark? Maybe this was an ally; Semalil had turned him into a biped and changed his color after all. It would not be beneath him to give a lobster a unique ability as well.

Ruffian stared at the intruder. Cambrunsinburg spoke. "I'm only here for the boy. Semalil sent me."

"Then we are comrades, so to speak," said the lobster."

"You used to be one of those toys?"

"Yes, I was born from the sultan's playthings."

"How many more of us are there?"

"What does it matter, Croc? You're looking for Al, right? He's in the back."

"Thank you, lobster. There will be time to become better acquainted later."

"There may be time. Of course, failure is always a possibility."

Cambrunsinburg swung his tail in rage, knocking over a lamp and a box of tarot cards. "I WILL NOT FAIL!'

"Now it is my turn to thank you, Croc. You have alerted the humans of your presence."

The leader of the crocodiles approached the spot where Ruffian lay with the intentions of stomping on him. However, the lobster vanished in thin air. This deterred Cambrunsinburg for a minute or two, after which he searched the tent for Aladdin, whom he intended to tear limb from limb. But nobody was there save himself. Tricked! He thought. By a bioluminescent lobster. He'll pay for that!

Heading toward the front of the tent, he attempted to leave. However, the flap would not open. He tore vigorously at the sides of the tent, but they remained firm and impenetrable. Cambrunsinburg was trapped.

Ruffian was not incorrect when he had told the crocodile that his yelling alerted Aladdin and Nharla to his presence. They had escaped through the tent's sides with Nharla's magic, which dissolved their skin long enough for them to get through. Ruffian had been summoned by the trumpet-ring that Nharla wore on her neck. Then she had sealed up the tent so that Cambrunsinburg could not escape no matter what he did.

Now it was three against three. Aladdin and Nharla would be the two main fighters, as Ruffian could not do much of anything except pinch, which could hardly bring pain to the warriors they were facing. Onlepth was nothing to fret about—it would be like fighting a domestic cat. But Bactrax was as wide as three people, and Tonclor was taller than if Nharla had stood on Aladdin's shoulders. So the advantage of bulk went entirely to the crocodile side.

"Aladdin, my love, you tackle the tall one and I'll handle Mr. Round."

"Sure thing, sweet-pea," said our love-struck hero.

Aladdin pulled a rusty knife from his pocket and stuck it between Tonclor's teeth. This would keep the crocodile from biting him, which would be unfair. Then Aladdin attempted to twist Tonclor's hand around his back, but Onlepth grabbed onto his ankles pulling him back, deliberating over which of Aladdin's toes to bite first.

Nharla had a magical sword which she thrust through Bactrax' midriff. It sliced a hole in his armor but did no greater damage. He pulled her close to him and examined her ear as if she were a cow being sent to the slaughterhouse. "A nice morsel you'd make, human. I wonder what you'd taste like if you were covered in whipped cream and placed on top of a chocolate cake."

"I'd taste like this, fat boy!" she exclaimed, hitting his front jaw with her sword, causing blood to sprout from it. Bactrax staggered back about three feet. "I like food that bites back," he said with a grin. Then he curled up into a ball to roll over Nharla and leave her flat. She turned her slippers into flying shoes and balanced on top of Bactrax, running on his body like a circus performer.

Aladdin kicked the small one under the chin, sending him flying into Bactrax, which caused the latter to stop and Nharla to trip and fall prone on the ground. "Ah, now I've got you!" Bactrax said with glee.

"No, Nharla!" Aladdin shouted. But it was too late. Nharla's fall had knocked her senseless, and Bactrax was able to crush her easily.

"Ah, the meat is now tenderized. All we need is a good fire and—"

"Bactrax, when have you ever needed to cook your food?" Tonclor asked, still struggling with Aladdin but giving half his attention to his comrade.

"But this is a human, Tonc. It requires something special. Don't mind if I sit this fight out while I make fire."

"Okay, whatever. Wasp, get over here now. I could use a hand."

Onlepth approached, warily. He could not take another kick. Coming closer, he was accosted by the lobster. "You're not going anywhere, shrimp," Ruffian said.

"Who you calling shrimp, seafood?"

They rolled over in a fight while Aladdin continued to parry Tonclor's blows. Then a loud roaring was heard from somewhere twenty yards away. Brummagem, whose armor was bile-yellow appeared and drove his horn into Bactrax' center, causing him to break smoothly into two pieces as though he were an apple. Then the rhino grabbed Tonclor with his heavy arms and held him on the ground, ready to beat him to a pulp.

"Wait!" Aladdin called. "Ask him if we can revive Nharla." He pointed to his loved one's dead form.

"Crocodile tears cannot bring back the dead," Tonclor said, solemnly. The rhino chucked him hard under the chin. "When Cam gets our of his bind, you will pay for that!" he shouted indignantly. But Brummagem continued to pummel him, until finally his body lay lifeless.

All that remained was Onlepth, which both the rhino and Aladdin thought would be a piece of cherry pie. The tiny alligator had tossed Ruffian twenty feet in the air, then turned to face his aggressors. Aladdin tried to grab him, but he was too quick. Brummagem nearly stopped on him. However, he managed to trip both of them and grabbed Aladdin by the ear.

Just before Onlepth could call forth the dust that would take him to the Palace of Agrabah instantly, he disappeared without a trace.

"What happened?" Aladdin asked his rescuer. "Did you destroy him?"

"No, it's like he simply disintegrated."

Ruffian's brains were a little addled, but he could still make out Aladdin's shape. "Is the battle over?"

"Yes, and it ended quite strangely, too," Aladdin said. Both he and the rhino rose to their feet. They shook hands, introducing themselves. Aladdin felt some of his flesh scrape off as he removed his hand.

"I would've been here sooner if I hadn't been ordered to steer clear of Zamcrushin Valley," Brummagem said. "An instinct told me to abandon these orders. I could sense that they intended to kill you, which I could not allow to happen. I am now here to take you back."

"I suppose it is time to go, but…" Aladdin stared longingly at Nharla. He walked over to her prostrate form to get a better look.

"Let her go, Al," Ruffian said. "She's gone, caput. You know what Tonclor said. Not even crocodile tears can bring back the dead."

Aladdin sighed, sheathing Nharla's sword. He turned back to the others. "You're right, Ruffian. But how are you planning on taking us home, Brummagem?"

"I was thinking of letting you ride on my shoulders."

"And let this happen to my legs?" Aladdin asked, holding up his fried hand. "No thanks."

"Or we could just use dust ourselves to a place a couple of blocks away from the palace," the lobster suggested.

"That sounds good. I'll do the honors," said the rhino. He did a low but shrill whistle that sounded a little like the rattling of bones. Then swirls of dust blew around them and their sights changed. Now they were standing in a crowded marketplace, the selfsame marketplace where Aladdin had met Jasmine. He instantly forgot about Nharla.

It is important to take a brief examination of what happened to Onlepth at this point and explain why he was unable to bring Aladdin to Agrabah himself. At the precise moment when he intended to summon the dust, Cambrunsinburg had tapped his pores. Onlepth was lured to his body and trapped in the tent alongside him.

"What news, shrimp?"

Onlepth was terrified of telling his boss the truth. "We…have had some misfortunes, sir."

"Misfortunes? What sort?"

"We, as a group, lost," he said.

"Yes, of course you did—without me you three must've been worthless! Losing to a woman, a man, and a lobster! How weak can you guys be?"

"B-but a rhino turned up, sir."

"Oh, did one?"

"He defeated Trax and Tonc. Then I tripped him, and…" Onlepth lost his fear as he realized how close he had come to victory. "Why, you stupid Cam! Look what you've done! All I had to was summon the dust and I would've been Semalil's most trustworthy servant. Now, thanks to you, the boy will return to the palace safely."

"Was Aladdin alive when you attempted to summon the dust?"

"Yes."

Here Cambrunsinburg let out a hollow laugh. "And you call me an idiot? Did not Semalil order us to kill Aladdin? You would've been bringing him home and disobeying our master. How could you be in his good books then, hmmm?"

"I-I don't know," Onlepth said, shaking vigorously. Cambrunsinburg had released him so that he could talk freely, but now he magnetized the little one with his pores again. Then Cambrunsinburg ripped off Onlepth's head and swallowed it. He walked over to the flap and discovered that he was free. Nharla's magic had ended a full half-hour after her death.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Aladdin and company contemplated how they would approach the palace. It would most likely be heavily guarded. They needed a plan.

"How about I go in front and you two follow?" the rhino asked.

"That could work," Aladdin said.

"But we'd have to trust his eyes," the lobster said, skeptically.

"Well, if we can't trust each other, who can we trust?"

"No one," Ruffian said philosophically.

"We must do something," Aladdin said.

"Why don't we just ditch Sir Rhinoceros and approach the palace ourselves?"

"Or, how about I walk forty or fifty feet away from you two, but we keep each other in sight?" Brammagem asked.

"That sounds swell," Aladdin said.

"I don't like it all," Ruffian told them. "But it will have to do."

Thus, the rhino and the other two separated created a fifty-foot gap between them. Then they strode toward the palace, afraid of what they might find there.

Aladdin was the first to notice the shadow in the sky. It was right in front of the palace and it hovered ominously. He saw a giant eye peering down at him. "So the prodigal prince has returned," it bellowed. "I am Humphrey the whale, and I have bad news for you. You're not returning to the palace!" It bent forward so that its blowhole could be seen. A ray of red light shot out and hit Brummagem full in the chest. He collapsed in a heap, unconscious. Aladdin stared up at this antagonist from Hades and knew that he'd be lucky to survive…