AN Thank you all for reading the first 2 chapters. This is the last one for tonight, I'll try to update tomorrow. Please don't hate JJ she will get nicer. Also PLEASE reviewthis is my first fic and I need the feedback. If you don't reveiw I may not continue, not out of spite but because I don't review stories that I don't like so I will assume that you have read and disliked. Even if you don't like it let me know maybe I can make it into something you would enjoy more. Thanks Raina
JJ walked in to the bullpen the next day fully aware that all eyes were on her. She thought of what Spence would have thought of her cemetery breakdown and started to laugh. She could picture the curious look on his face her Spence, before the drugs the Spence that she had fallen in love with before Georgia had robbed them of a future. As she walked passed his now empty desk she laughed harder becoming more and more aware of her concerned coworkers and their suspicion that JJ was losing her mind.
First I completely lose it in the cemetery and now I'm laughing at your empty desk Spence. The laughter was harder now and JJ was close to being hysterical again in a very different way. The more she tried to compose herself the more she laughed until she had safely made it into her office.
The knock on the door startled her back to reality and away from her moment with him. "Come in." JJ looked at the door apprehensively.
"JJ, we need to talk." Hotch looked at her with a concern that she had only seen directed at Elle and of course at Reid. She knew this was coming after her outburst at the cemetery and this morning had only compounded his worry.
"I know sir." She looked at him with relief in her eyes knowing that he was too good of a profiler to not see her pain when he really looked at her.
"Are you alright JJ? Yesterday you seemed pretty shaken. Today well I'm not sure what that was but people notice when agents laugh at each other's desks." He wanted to say dead agent's desks but knew from the day before that she needed no reminder that he was dead.
"I'm good Hotch." Her reply was simple and she knew not adequate to him, but the reality of her boss sitting in her office questioning her stability was sinking in for her.
"JJ, I'm recommending a psych evaluation." It was a simple statement that was meant to be as blunt as it sounded.
"If that's what you feel is best, then that's the way it will be sir." JJ looked at the floor knowing that this was most likely one of her last days at the BAU. The FBI frowned upon interoffice romance between field agents especially those on the same team.
"I'll set it up." He stood and walked out speculating why she hadn't argued more.
JJ turned and began to gather her personal effects wondering where she could get some boxes when Morgan knocked on her door.
"Hey, you going somewhere?" Leaning against her doorframe his eyebrows raised.
"I think so Morgan. Hotch is ordering a psych eval and well that's about the end of my career here." She looked at him sadly and knew that she would have to explain everything to her team before she left.
"Don't you think you may just be over reacting a bit here?" he silently prayed that she was, while realizing that if he wasn't careful this praying thing might just stick.
"Well no Morgan," she walked out of her office and into the conference room in search of boxes. "I really don't." She was almost yelling.
Garcia, Prentiss, Rossi, and Hotch looked up as they walked into the room. JJ immediately went looking in the closet for boxes to pack her things.
"JJ? What are you doing and huh what are you two arguing about?" Garcia asked as the others watched the fight between them unfolding.
"You wanna know what she's doing? She's looking for boxes to pack her office cause Hotch ordered a psych eval that is obviously needed!" Morgan hadn't meant it to be as mean as it was but couldn't help himself.
Spinning on her heel JJ whipped around to face Morgan at which point Hotch, Emily, and Rossi stood and stepped forward between the two.
"You know nothing about what I'm doing Morgan. So fuck you" JJ's words threw her back to the last fight she had with Reid and in her anger at him, she was lashing out at the only person angry enough to fight back, Morgan.
"Knock it off both of you!" Hotch was even more stern than usual if that was possible. "Morgan go sit down. JJ what are you doing?"
"Packing." JJ had lost her fight and had said it quietly. Hotch thought immediately of Elle.
"JJ people react when they lose someone. You will not lose your job because you are in pain. Your friend died after a very traumatic work related incident that you were involved in, if you weren't reacting in some way then it would be a cause for concern." Emily stepped closer to JJ sensing her pain. Reaching out her hand she took JJ's. JJ knew that Emily was simply trying to help to defuse the situation.
"And how would they feel about the fact that I knew he had a drug problem and said nothing?" JJ spit the words toward Emily while pulling her hand away.
Spinning toward Rossi she said "Or that I watched him shoot up during a case?"
Looking at Garcia she said "How about the fact that I lied to cover for him? Not only did I know but I covered it up to what about that?"
Turning to Hotch she coldly said "Or how about the fact that I was sleeping with him? Remind me Hotch does the bureau have a policy about such things?"
Glaring at Morgan she said "Yup that's right Morgan he never told you his big brother. You think that might be cause you mocked him constantly?" She wanted him to hurt like she did just like she had wanted Reid to and in that moment she realized that no matter who else she made hurt she still would.
Falling to the floor JJ sobbed as the rest of the team looked on at the broken young woman they had thought they knew so well.
