AN Hey everyone sorry but this may be the only update today, I have 2 research papers to write today. I hope you all like the story so far. I would like to thank Tearbos, Irinaj, and LadyBrilliana for their kind words. I love reviews and will update faster when I know people are waiting for more, even if my research papers are due tomorrow.
"JJ, you have to stop doing this." His smile was sad and in a way heartbreaking to look at but she couldn't look away. "People will start to think you're the one on drugs."
"Reid, I just miss you so much I can't do this. I can't be here when you are not. Knowing that this is my fault, it kills me more each day." Silent tears ran down her face.
"No. JJ this is not your fault. Please JJ let me take credit for this. I chose to split up that night with Tobias. I chose not to tell Hotch or Gideon or anyone else about the Dilaudid." He looked at her with the pleading eyes who wanted candy.
"You told me and I didn't do anything Spence." Her words begged for forgiveness that only he could give.
"JJ you have to stop. You love it here and they will make you leave if keep doing this.I can't stand the idea of you not still helping. The families they need you JJ. Please don't take yourself away from them."
"And what about me Spence you took yourself away from me." There was no anger in her voice, emptiness and pain had filled the void where the anger had once lived.
"But I never meant to JJ you, you were the best thing that ever happened to me and if I could I would be by your side always but I can only watch over you now." Tears ran down his face as he looked down at her.
"I want to be with you. Take me with you Spence." Everything in her wanted to go with him, to leave this place, this pain and be wrapped in his arms forever.
"I can't JJ." He wanted to she could tell by the crack of his voice.
"I miss you so much Spence. I don't know how to be me without you." She whispered this as if trying to keep it from herself.
"You will. You are the woman that you have always been JJ you're just a little lost right now. Please JJ I'm begging you please don't follow down the path that I took; it was the wrong way to go." He turned as if to leave.
"Please Spence don't go I'm not ready to say goodbye please don't leave Spence Spence- Spencer- Spencer Reid. Reid!"
JJ woke with a start sitting up quickly. Looking around she realized that she was still at the BAU. She had been sleeping on the couch in Hotch's office. The dream drifted into her mind and she prayed that the team had not heard her pleading with Reid to take her. She prayed that they did not know that she wanted to die.
The knock on her door told her that not only had they heard but they also wanted to talk about it.
"Yeah, come in." JJ said while pulling her knotted hair back into a ponytail.
"It's odd to knock on my own door." Hotch stood there looking down at her with sadness written all over his face. "How are you?"
"That's a loaded question Hotch. Not good." The truth was all she had energy for now.
"I figured. "
"How long was I asleep?" Looking out the now open door she realized the office seemed empty.
"Eight hours." He looked at her sadly as he handed her a cup of coffee.
"That's the longest I've slept in two months Hotch." He nodded at her as if he was saying they all knew she had not been sleeping very much.
"Look JJ I think that you should know. . ." they were interrupted by a knock at the door. Hotch stood walking to the door, he opened it just a crack to see who was on the other side.
"Sir, Gideon is here. Morgan went down to the security office to bring him up. Emily went to get some pizza and Rossi went to get some Chinese. We didn't know what she would want when she woke up." Garcia said all of this without taking a breath.
"Thank you Garcia." He shut the door and turned to JJ.
"Gideon?" sat up more now than she had been before.
"I called him. I didn't know what to do, what to say. I can't lose another team member JJ and if that means calling in the ones who have already left then so be it." His face was once again stern and determined and JJ wanted to hug him for being so protective of her. For being the oldest big brother in their family who knew enough to get dad when things were truly bad.
"Thank you Hotch." To him she resembled the little girl from the shopping mall so scared and sad that he had to look away from her. He had to get away from her for a moment and stepped into the hall.
Leaving the elevator at the same time were Morgan and Gideon. Both men wore masks to hide their fear as Hotch approached.
"How is she Aaron?" Gideon shifted from one foot to the other just slightly in his nervousness.
"She's broken Jason." Hotch looked at the floor in a way that reminded Morgan of Reid. The thought of Reid forcing him to swallow hard, swallow the anger and pain.
"Then let's go fix her." Gideon smiled and in that instant everything at the BAU seemed right again.
AN please remember to review
