International Rescue, Thunderbirds and the Tracy boys belong to Gerry and Sylvia Anderson
Chapter 16
He felt like his whole world was falling down around him. On top of that, he felt lousy, his body still ached from the gut-wrenching session that morning, his throat hurt and his head now throbbed from the deep, dark thoughts that were invading his mind; add to that his humiliation and Scott Tracy was not looking in particularly good shape right now.
"Scott," Jenna called to him again.
He hadn't heard her the first time, being lost in a sea of bewildering thoughts and confusion. If this was the waking world, he didn't want to be a part of it anymore. At least in his other world he had been oblivious to pain, contented, free from everything and now that's just where he wanted to be.
"Can't feel my arm, Jen," he whispered hoarsely as he looked at the useless limb lying beside him. "Why can't I feel it?" He felt pain practically everywhere else, the irony being, that, although he didn't want to be in pain he would have given anything to have felt even the slightest pain in his arm.
"Scott. Look at me," Jenna said firmly but kindly.
Scott slowly brought his weary eyes up to meet hers.
Jenna gave him a sympathetic but heartfelt encouraging smile. "This can happen sometimes. It may only be temporary," she added, hoping that it was.
"May?" he asked, dejectedly. "Gee, this day just gets better," Scott added, with more than a heavy note of sarcasm in his voice.
"Scott, you must realise, you've had major brain surgery. You're quite bruised," Jenna offered by way of explanation. "We have to wait for everything to settle down, to heal," she added. "Temporary paralysis of a limb with the kind of surgery you've had isn't uncommon and as you've had surgery on your right side that's why your left arm is affected," Jenna continued hoping to encourage him.
"But you can't guarantee it, can you?" he asked, knowing already that she couldn't.
Jenna shook her head, wishing with all her heart and soul that she could. Her main worry now was that he would fall into depression and she was trying to think of ways to keep him focused on the positive notion that it may be only temporary. "….so we're just gonna to remain focused and be patient, isn't that right, Mr Tracy?" she said with a wry grin and emphasizing his name.
He continued to keep his gaze on her, wincing every so often with pain. She had become like a rock to him, in an increasingly stormy sea; like the comforting landing lights a pilot needs to guide him home by in a dark and turbulent sky. Her soothing and reassuring voice was a constant comfort to him.
"Yes, ma'am," Scott replied, managing to return a slight smile of his own.
"Do all you flyboys call your women, ma'am?" she asked in amusement.
"'Fraid so, ma'am," he replied, more than a little amused himself at her calling him a flyboy.
"You're incorrigible," Jenna returned, smiling and shaking her head but she was glad that their little tete-ta-tete had seemed to keep his mind off things. "…. and of course, you do realise what being a patient patient means, don't you, Mr Tracy?" she continued with a wry grin.
He narrowed his eyes at her slightly, daring her to tell him.
"It means, you're not getting out that door in a hurry," she answered his unspoken question with a smile and a raise of her eyebrows. This was referring to the fact that Scott Tracy never liked to stay in the infirmary for one minute longer than he felt he had to.
Despite his pain he half laughed. "Who's been talkin'."
"Just about everybody," Jenna answered, her smile broadening. "That means, Scott Tracy, you're mine for the duration," she added wryly.
"I can live with that," Scott responded, intensifying his gaze and his voice becoming husky.
Jenna could see a little of the fire that had danced in his eyes last night as they talked, return, that intense gaze that he fixed on her and it made her feel weak; add to that, a husky voice and she was in danger of sliding off the bed to melt into a puddle on the floor.
She swallowed hard and gave a light cough, trying to drag her thoughts back to reality and concentrate on what she should be doing for him. Jenna told him she would get Mike to come down and have a look at him but told Scott she couldn't give him any more pain relief until Mike had seen him. "He'll need to assess you without your senses being dulled," she explained "but once he's finished I'll give you everything I can." "Except the morphine," she added with a weak smile; the irony being that it would have been the one thing that would have helped him the most.
Scott blinked his eyes once, having gone back to the eye signals because his throat had become increasingly painful with talking.
"And, if you're lucky, I might even throw in a massage to relax you," she continued, smiling softly to him as she stroked his forehead. At that moment, time seemed to stand still as they both became aware of the deepening attraction they had for one another.
"I'd better get Mike for you," Jenna laughed nervously, to break the tension between them. Immediately she got up, went to the end of the bed and wrote in his chart the latest information. She glanced up to see Scott looking at her with a worried frown. "Don't worry," she assured him with a smile, "not everything!"
It was now early afternoon as Jenna spoke into the comlink that connected her to Jeff's desk in the lounge. "Jeff, is Mike with you?" Jenna asked, keeping her voice as calm and normal as possible so not to cause any alarm.
"Yes Jenna, he's here," Jeff answered cautiously, wondering why she would ask for him.
"Would you ask him to come down to the infirmary, please?" Jenna replied.
"Why, is something wrong with Scott?" Jeff asked, alarm bells now ringing in his head. He knew Jenna to be a competent enough young woman who could deal with most situations on her own and only if it were something more serious would she need to call Mike. So it was understandable enough that he became worried.
"I think you should just ask him to come down, please, Jeff," she responded, still keeping her voice calm and giving nothing away.
"He's on his way," Jeff replied.
Virgil had been quietly practising a new piece on the piano, while his father sat at his desk doing some paperwork; there was always paperwork to be done with a multi-faceted organisation like Tracy Enterprises. Mike had taken his coffee out onto the balcony, relaxing and taking in the view. When Jenna had first spoken to Jeff, asking where Mike was and Jeff started to show some concern, Virgil stopped playing and walked towards his father's desk. Jeff asked him to go and bring Mike in and once the comlink was closed all three headed towards the hallway, each lost in their own thoughts, wondering what could be wrong.
Gordon, Alan and John were just coming out of the games room when Mike and Jeff passed.
"What's up Virg?" Gordon asked, grabbing hold of Virgil's sleeve before he had passed, knowing that something was up due to the serious look on his father's face.
"Dunno Gordy but Jenna wanted Mike to come down to the infirmary," Virgil answered with a note of worry in his voice.
"It's Scott, isn't it?" Alan asked having caught the worry in Virgil's voice. "Is it serious?" he added, wanting to know.
"Look Alan, I know as much as you all do right now," Virgil replied a little irritably but it was only the not knowing that made him so.
Within minutes they had reached the infirmary.
On hearing voices in the hallway Jenna left Scott's bed, where she had been attempting to bring some relief to his ever-increasing headache by gently massaging his temples. She was soon at the door, letting only Mike and Jeff enter.
"I promise I'll come and speak to you shortly," she said to the boys, with a note of understanding for their anxious faces and with that she closed the door, turning her attention to Mike. Jenna explained what had happened, giving him Scott's chart, and when she had noticed. Mike then went to carry out his examination, leaving Jenna to explain everything to Jeff.
"And you can't tell us that this will only be temporary? Jeff asked, now deeply concerned for Scott's state of mind. This was one of the problems that Mike had warned Jeff about in their earlier discussions.
"I'm afraid not," Jenna answered honestly "but, like I told Scott, we'll have to wait for everything to settle down." "We don't know how long that will be, everyone is different," she added.
"How's he taking it?" Jeff asked, looking over in the direction of his eldest son.
"To be honest, Jeff, I'm not sure," Jenna responded. "He's devastated naturally. He's going to need a little time," she added. Jeff nodded a silent understanding and Jenna turned her attention to some very anxious brothers.
Going out into the hallway and closing the door behind her she was bombarded with questions. "Look, I know you're all worried," she said sympathetically "but I can't tell you what's wrong with Scott. Mike's examining him now and when he's finished I'm sure he and your father will give you all the details."
"But Jenna, he's our brother," Virgil pleaded. "We need to know, we want to see him," he added a bit more vehemently, his other brothers nodding in agreement.
"I appreciate that, Virgil, I really do," Jenna replied gently and understandingly "but I can't tell you and I can't let you in while Mike's examining him. You just need to be patient. They'll tell you all you need to know." Virgil scowled but Jenna stood her ground, barring the way to the door.
"He's not gonna ….I mean it's not that serious, is it Jen?" Alan asked, always the one to voice everybody's thoughts.
"Yeah, you could at least tell us that Jen, please," Gordon added pleadingly.
Jenna could see that they were thinking of worst-case scenarios and felt she could at least ease their minds in that respect. "No, it's not life threatening," she reassured them, although she wondered if, perhaps, he might not just die from a broken heart. In truth, it is not actually a broken heart but rather not having the will to live. Remembering her father, she was all too painfully aware that that could be the case.
Returning to the room, Mike had finished and was getting ready to leave; Jeff having asked him to fill the boys in on Scott's current condition. Jeff stayed for a short while but left when Jenna said she needed to make him more comfortable.
"I'll up your pain relief to max for a while," she said softly as she ran her fingers through the top of his hair and stroked his forehead.
He wearily blinked his eyes once. Scott Tracy was a guy well used to pain but Jenna could see this was wearying him. She longed to gather him up in her arms and rock him gently. "Scott, you're brother's would like to see …," Jenna had started to say when he blinked twice. "Are you sure?" she asked, wanting to make certain she had understood him. He closed and opened his eyes slowly once. "All right," she smiled weakly "I'll be right back."
After having gone with Mike to hear the details and waiting for their father in the lounge, the boys had now come back down to the infirmary.
"I'm sorry," Jenna said, knowing they were not going to be too happy. "He doesn't want to see anyone right now."
"But that doesn't mean me," Virgil replied, a little hurt as well as getting a little annoyed with her, as though she were trying to keep him from seeing his brother.
Jenna knew this would be harder on Virgil. She had sensed from the first day she arrived that there was a special closeness between these two brothers and sometimes her job meant standing between her patient and their family if necessary. "Look, I know this is hard on you all but, please, just give him a little time," she urged, giving them a smile of encouragement.
"Jenna's right," John spoke up. "Scott just needs time to adjust. Besides, we won't let him brood forever," he added, putting his arm around Virgil and giving Jenna and his other brothers a smile.
Jenna nodded appreciatively to John as he led his brothers away and she returned to Scott. As she sat by him on the bed he was staring blankly out of the window. "Now, what about that massage I promised you," she said softly.
During the night Jenna was again wakened by the sounds of his agitation. He was bathed in sweat, glistening off his body in the soft glow of the light in the room. His breathing was rapid and his heart monitor was threatening to go crazy. As she tried to calm him, drying him with towels, he called out.
"Been … hit. Going … down. …receiving me. Thunderbird One … to ..base."
