"Reid kept a journal." She looked at the group, holding the journal for them to see with one hand still holding the phone to her ear with the other. "He wrote about everyone if anyone wants they can look at it."
They stood and quietly followed her into the briefing room each taking a seat around the table.
JJ stood at the front of the room as if they had a new case, because they did it was to say goodbye to their genius.
As the receptionist came back on the line JJ walked into the hall to take the call and closed the door.
"This feels weird, like we are invading his privacy" Garcia looked around the room to see what the others thought.
"Well I guess he shoulda thought of that before he wrote it. If you write shit down and then die its fair game, baby girl." Morgan looked angrier in this moment than in any other since Reid died.
"I don't think Reid would mind Penelope, Morgan does have a point. Reid must have known that if something happened to him we would be the ones to deal with his things." Gideon smiled at her letting her know that he understood her apprehension.
"Who did go through his things?" Emily scanned the table wondering if it had been JJ.
"I did. But his landlord said that his girlfriend had already been by. I thought it was probably one of you ladies…I just didn't realize the landlord had been correct about the relationship" Gideon was once again their mentor if only for this night.
Opening the door JJ smiled at them and for a moment one could almost forget why they were here. "How do you want to do this?"
"JJ you read what he wrote about Rossi and will continue around the table to the left Rossi about Emily who will then read about Garcia who in turn will read what was written about Morgan who will read what Reid thought of Hotch then me and ending with me reading what Reid wrote about you. This way everyone knows what was said about everyone else no secrets and no hidden pain which I think this team has had enough of." He knew the order was important he had to read what Reid had thought of JJ Gideon thought forgetting as he took charge that he was no longer a member of this team let alone their leader.
"Okay you ready Rossi?" Her famous JJ press smile flashed across her face. He nodded.
Rossi is an amazingly intelligent man who will be an asset to this team if we can ever get used to Gideon being gone. That is if he can ever get used to this being a team. I fear that he will see the things I hide from them all but maybe it would be a blessing anyway. He does not allow me to impress him and I feel like he is himself hiding something. He is unimpressed with my genius in a way that no one ever has been, it is comforting to feel inferior to him. He does not assume that I will be right and does not expect more from than from the others. To him I am just a kid who has to earn his respect. I do not deserve it though.
Rossi looked at the rest of the group with a sad smile on his face. He then reached up and took the book from JJ.
"Are we sure this is a good idea?" Garcia said beginning to fear what he had written about her.
"Yes." It was Gideon and they all knew they would continue.
Emily is a lot better at this than we all think. She is so far the only one who has said anything to me about my behavior and for that she received harshness that was unearned. She took it and said nothing else and for that I am grateful. She seems to get better with each case and may end up as one of the greatest profilers the BAU has ever seen. I only wish that she knew that she has found her place that she belongs here and that we see her as one of us. She is no longer the step-sister she sees herself as on our team. She is a fully fledged pain in the ass of a sister and I love her for that.
Emily was laughing and crying as she took the small leather bound book from Rossi.
Garcia wow where do I start. She is the center of the world that is the BAU. She is our sun that gives us light on our darkest days. Without her this place would be unbearable. I only hope that we can succeed in keeping the darkness away from our light. On the best days I think we can and on days like today I want to hide her away from the world.
Emily looked at the now crying Garcia; this is dated on the day you got shot. Wiping her tears away Garcia took the journal from Emily and began to read.
I wish to god I could tell Morgan about JJ and me but I know that the temptation to tease would be too great for him. He loves to pick at me and for that I will always owe him. He has made me so much stronger with his gentle teasing. It is odd because in the world that I came from Morgan would have been a predator but here he is the only brother I have ever had. It hurts to know that the pain he carries he will never share with me but I understand that some things are just too much. I hope that someday he learns to not be so hard on himself and realizes that not every will break his trust.
Tears running down his face Morgan took the book from a now sobbing Garcia.
Hotch leads this team with a stern face and a gentle hand. He is like the much older brother who isn't afraid to call Dad when he is needed. Of all the members of this team it would break my heart the most for Hotch to see the track marks that now run up my arms. He is the conscience of us all; one look from him tells you when you are out of line. The most amazing feeling is to know that Aaron Hotchner is proud of you. I live everyday trying not to disappoint him and some days I truly believe he is proud of me and on others I wish he would look away. It is hard when you compare yourself to such a principled man but Hotch gives us something to strive for.
He took the book but said nothing. It was time to see what Reid really thought of Gideon.
I hope that Gideon finds the ability to believe in happy endings again. It hurts to know that he is hurt and though I wish he knew he could talk to me I know that he never will. He wrote me the letter to say what he could never look at me and say. I am his student in this journey and he as the teacher will never rely on me in that way. He is quite possibly the smartest person I have ever met. It scared me sometimes that he depended on me for the answers but I knew that that is his way of pushing me to do better and be better. I have thought of telling him about the drugs hundreds of times but to be quite honest I like the drugs and Jason Gideon would never stand by while I slowly take my own life.
The silence in the room was deafening as Gideon stood and took the book from Hotch.
"JJ are you sure you want me to read this?" Gideon said looking down at the passage Reid had written about her.
AN- Well that's it for tonight sorry but you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see what Reid wrote about JJ. I don't want to rush that part. As always please review. In the AN of the last chapter I plan to thank everyone and respond to their comments. Again thanks for reading please review!
