The Tracy Boys and Thunderbirds are the creation of Sylvia and Gerry Anderson

Chapter 38

Well, that was the first step taken, Jenna thought to herself now that she was left alone. The next call, however, she knew would be more difficult and emotional for she had known Mike a long time; he had been there for her and seen her through a very difficult period in her life, when her father had died and previously, when her brother Johnny had been killed in that fatal training flight.

Before she went to the desk, though, she took the time to have a look over the pictures on the wall, pictures of the boys in their various stages of development. She smiled, as peering back at her were the happy faces of scrawny, adolescent youths and she couldn't help but marvel at the fact of how they had all grown into such well developed, physically fit and handsome young men. Her eyes, of course, picked out a youthful Scott in a seemingly happy pose with his younger brothers but as she studied the picture she could see in his eyes the heavy weight that was the burden of responsibility he carried on his young shoulders. It was a look she recognised for it was a look she knew well. After looking over the rest of the pictures she turned towards the desk.

Rounding the desk Jenna sat down in the large comfortable black leather swivel chair. Ever since entering Jeff's office, although she'd had serious things on her mind, she wondered just how comfortable that chair was and she had had the childish urge to have a swivel in it. Sinking into the soft black leather and looking around almost guiltily, as if she expected Jeff Tracy to come back in, she started to push the chair from side to side, giggling to herself with childlike pleasure. She had an overwhelming urge now to kick of her shoes, tuck her legs up under her and get really comfortable and try to forget why she was in here but she resisted, and settled instead for one complete revolution of the chair pushing with her feet and then lifting them off the floor.

Now that she had gotten that playful compulsion out of her system she turned to the blank screen of the video-phone, contemplating for a few moments on how she would begin this conversation. Should she just come out in a rush and say it like she had just done with Jeff Tracy but she reckoned she would take this a bit slower and play it by ear. Activating the vid-link she tapped in the number that would connect her to Mike's office and waited, taking a slow, deep breath to compose herself. The vid-phone was automatically re-routed through TB5's security system so there could be no possibility of the call being traced; this all having been explained to her after she had found out the family secret.

Within moments Mike's cheery face filled the screen. Even though she had prepared herself for this moment the sight of him brought a lump of emotion to her throat, a wealth of memories to her mind and she almost lost her resolve of courage to go through with it and instead just make some trivial conversation, say goodbye and close the link. But then she only had to think of her love for Scott to know she had to see this through to the bitter end.

"Hi Mike," Jenna began, forcing the smile that belied her aching heart. "How's everyone doing back there," she added but she resisted the temptation to quip, if everybody missed her; knowing how much she was going to miss everybody there she knew she wouldn't be able to stop the flood of tears that were already threatening.

"Hi Jen. Yeah, everybody's fine," Mike replied, wondering if this was a professional call and something might be wrong with Scott or if it was just a social call and perhaps she was feeling a bit homesick, needing a familiar face to talk to. He got the impression, though, that it was not a professional call, in that she needed advice about medical treatment for he had been in regular contact with his old friend Jeff Tracy who had assured him that Scott was doing very well under her supervision. Jenna had stopped giving him regular updates a while ago, only needing to contact him if something serious were to happen. He felt it more to be a social call, though something told him it was far from being trivial for he could tell that behind that forced smile she had something on her mind.

"And how is our boy doing?" he asked, genuinely interested in Scott's progress from her point of view, "any change in his arm?"

Jenna could only but smile warmly at Mike's familiarity over Scott; it had been a term he had called him by ever since getting here. Taking another deep breath she answered, "Our boy is doing just fine, Mike. And no, there's no change yet in his arm. He still doesn't appear to have any feeling."

"Well, don't give up hope, Jen, it's early days yet," he reassured her, to which she promised she wouldn't and was plugging away at those exercises. Mike could tell now she was having difficulty in knowing where to go from here and not being one to beat about the bush took the first step. "OK Jen, what's the real reason for this call? I know something's up," he urged, wanting to be of whatever help he could. "Not that I'm not glad to hear from you anytime, you know that, but I know you Jen and something's troubling you," he said gently and with fatherly concern.

"Dear, sweet Mike," she thought to herself, there was no fooling him so, on taking a steadying breath, she began. "Mike, you know I love you dearly. You've been like a father to me ever since….," she said, hesitating at the painful memories that had made them closer. "….well, ever since Johnny…..and then Dad passing away. You've helped me through some pretty bad times; you've always been there for me. And I have loved every minute of working there at the hospital, even the hard times. And we've always found something we can laugh at; it's what helps us get through the day, isn't it," Jenna continued, wanting him to truly know how much she really cared and loved her job.

It was at precisely this moment Virgil arrived outside his father's office, intent on depositing his report of the calibrations he had just completed before heading back down to the gym to help with his brother's workout. The door was slightly ajar and he was just about to knock when he heard the rich, deep tones of a man's voice. Assuming, momentarily, it was his father's voice and that if he heard him talking aloud he must be on the phone to someone, he intended to enter, as all he wished to do was to leave the report on the desk. Before entering, however, he recognised the voice to be, not that of his father, but of Mike. Still about to enter, believing then that his father was talking to Mike, he heard Mike call her by name and then recognised the slightly emotional voice of Jenna.

He should have left at that point, but he didn't, and it wasn't that he was eavesdropping; it was because he genuinely cared about her and could hear her obvious emotion, wondering what could be making her so unhappy. What he heard next made him sit up and take notice.

A cold sense of unease had gripped Mike's heart as he listened to Jenna's little speech. "Jen…this sounds suspiciously like you're thinking of quitting on me," he said half laughing but he was finding it anything but funny, hoping that his thoughts were wrong and that she was just feeling homesick. Mike, though, was a very perceptive man and he could tell by the way she was talking it was as if she was preparing to say goodbye. On receiving no immediate response from her he pressed the matter. "Jen, talk to me. What's this all about?"

Jenna looked him straight in the eye and composed herself before answering. "Yes Mike, I'm resigning. In fact, my resignation's in the post and should be there by tomorrow," she replied as calmly as she could. "I wanted to talk to you first and tell you. I…I..didn't want you to find out on the hospital grapevine," she added, feeling herself waver slightly as she saw his face pale at the news.

Outside in the corridor Virgil was equally as taken aback by her sudden revelation. He knew she had loved her job for she had told him before in conversations they had had in the early days after Scott's surgery, before he regained consciousness, of many hilarious moments as well as the equally difficult times, yet, through it all had come her obvious love and dedication for her job. To resign, seemingly out of the blue, came as quite a shock and could only mean something serious had happened. He realised, though, he was not that up on nursing code ethics or practice so wondered what had prompted her to take such drastic action.

"Jen, why on earth….what has happened to make you resign?" Mike asked, barely able to take in what she had just told him and struggling almost to get his words out. Whatever it was, though, he was sure he was not going to let her give up without a fight; she was far too good a nurse for that and he was far too fond of her to let her throw away a good career that she had taken a long time to build up. "Are you in some sort of trouble?" he asked concerned. "Whatever it is, we can sort it out. You know I'm always here for you Jen," Mike assured her.

"No…I'm not in any trouble," Jenna reassured him as she smiled weakly at his concern. At least, not trouble in the conventional sense of the word but more like heart trouble. "But bless you Mike, I know you are," she added fondly.

"Then what Jen? Jeff hasn't informed me of any problems and Scott's doing OK by all accounts," Mike continued, but he could see now by her reaction to a certain person's name that he believed he had just found the reason for her decision. "This wouldn't, by any chance, have anything to do with a patient of yours?" he inquired gently and sympathetically, realisation having dawned. When she didn't answer straight away he knew he was on the right track. He also knew that Jenna was not given to falling in and out of relationships on a casual basis, goodness knows, he had encouraged her often enough to, at least, give some of the many young men who had asked her out, a chance. Knowing this to be the case he guessed this to be more serious, serious enough to resign over, given her high moral principles.

"Jen, you don't need to resign over your feelings for someone, even if he is a patient," he encouraged her, assuming that was the reason. "Once you're assignment's over you'd be free to persue that relationship if that's what you both want. And I have to say I think Scott would be a very lucky young man," Mike added, not realising just how far this relationship had progressed already.

Outside the door Virgil couldn't help but agree.

"He's a young man I have a great deal of admiration and respect for," Mike said, letting her know of his approval. Jenna gave him a strained smile and her nervous fidgeting told him there was something more. "Unless, of course, this has progressed beyond just having feelings?" he mused, watching her reaction.

Jenna winced slightly as he hit on the truth but she steadied herself and looked him in the eye. "Yes Mike, we've kissed," she admitted, blushing at the thought of just how physical those kisses of his had been.

Outside in the corridor Virgil's eyes widened somewhat. "Kissed? I'll say you have," he thought, feeling himself go hot and bothered at the memory of their burning passion and they were only the kisses he had witnessed. If that was how they were kissing when others were around what were they like in the privacy of the infirmary he had sometimes wondered.

She now felt a sudden defiant and defensive attitude take over, not wishing Mike to think this was something she did all the time, though she did know he didn't think of her that way and also she didn't want him to think she felt ashamed of her behaviour in any way. Her fierce protective streak concerning Scott also kicked in for she did not want Mike to think he had taken advantage of her and she didn't want Mike to think she had taken advantage of her patient.

"And what's more, I'm not ashamed. We've done nothing wrong, only express certain feelings for each other and I won't have you or anyone else blame him in any way. If there's any blame, then it's mine. I'm at fault. I knew the rules and I broke them. I accept full responsibility and that's why I'm resigning. I won't give the Board the satisfaction of firing me and I don't want you dragged into this either, Mike," Jenna said defensively and quickly, once having begun her speech, keeping at it until she had said all she wanted.

"Whow…slow down Jen…I'm not your enemy here," Mike responded, taken aback by the intensity of her feelings, which could only mean one thing in his book, considering how level-headed she was. "Boy, you really are in love with him, aren't you?" he asked gently and sympathetically.

Outside the door, Virgil had listened to her speech. "So, that's why you're resigning? Because you kissed him. Oh Jen," he thought to himself, feeling for her, that she should have to give up her career because she expressed her feelings for his brother. He agreed, though, entirely with Mike's diagnosis and he, too, was now interested in the answer she would give. He had long suspected her love for his eldest brother, as almost from the word go she seemed only to have had eyes for him and, on reflection, he for her; it was as if they shared some invisible connection, invisible threads that had bound them together.

He liked Jenna, he liked her a lot and from the first moment she had arrived on the island, only that the situation had been so serious, he had hoped they might have had a chance to get to know each other; if she had given him any sign at all he would have been prepared to wait. As it was, her only indication was to be friends and it didn't take long to recognise the attraction that was forming between her and Scott and he was genuinely happy for his brother; he could think of no better man to lose out to than him. He could already see a change in Scott, he was relaxed and happy around her ever since they had finally got to share that kiss and he seemed more willing to be honest with his feelings, evident by how he shared his anxiety about going outside to the pool the other evening, although some things he was still finding hard. Now it seemed like the end of her career was the price she was going to have to pay for those kisses. Virgil waited with bated breath to hear just how deep her feelings for Scott went.

Jenna gave a half laugh as she realised how she must have sounded, her face and tone now softening as she thought of her love for Scott Tracy. "Love him," she repeated, picturing his face in her mind. "Yeah, I love him, Mike. I love him with all my heart and soul," she reflected, not regretting one of those burning kisses.

Outside the door, it was all Virgil could do to keep from shouting out, "YES, I knew it," as a grin spread across his face.

Mike nodded understandingly for he could see it in her face and hear it in her voice, the depth of love that she felt for him. He knew for her this was no casual fling and he dearly hoped she was not going to get hurt. "And Scott feels the same way?" he asked tentatively.

Jenna closed her eyes briefly and looked away before turning to meet Mike's gaze. "I don't honestly know, Mike. We haven't talked about it. I only know how deep my own feelings go," she admitted.

"So I take it he doesn't know you've resigned, then," Mike conjectured.

"No….no he doesn't," Jenna replied calmly. "And that's the way I want it to stay, for now. I don't want him to feel this is any of his fault and I don't want him put under any emotional pressure right now," she added, her protective streak still very much in evidence. In a way, though, she had told Scott; the morning after they had shared that first kiss she told him it was highly unethical of her and she could get fired, although they had made light of it at the time. She did know in her heart, then, if she continued to be physical with him she was going to have to make a decision as to whether he was worth losing her career over and she obviously thought he was.

Mike could only nod in understanding, accepting she was in the best placed position to know her patient. "You really love him that much, don't you?" he remarked, smiling quietly to himself.

"Yeah, Mike, I really love him that much," she answered with quiet assurance.

Although happy for her that she was sure of her love he was also worried about her future and the career she was giving up, his frustration, too, at feeling helpless was clearly beginning to show. "Jen….you know I sit on the Board….I could put in a word for you. It's not too late. I'm sure if they realise how much……," he started to say before Jenna interrupted him.

"No, Mike," she stated adamantly. "I'm not going to have my feelings for Scott dragged in front of the Board and I won't have it made out that our affection for each other is something dirty and seedy and to be ashamed of. You know as well as I do what it would be like, they would want every little detail and I'm just not prepared to do that. I'm not going to drag Scott into this and I'm certainly not going to drag your name through it either," she said forcefully, knowing that it was Mike who had recommended her for this assignment and she didn't want him to feel let down. "I knew the rules and I broke them. But bless you for trying, Mike," Jenna added, a weak smile creasing her lips, "It's better this way, really."

Outside in the hallway Virgil nodded in silent admiration and could only think of how lucky his brother was.

In his heart Mike knew she was right, the Board of Governors were not that forgiving but still, he had not wanted her to let go without a fight and he could only admire the courageous stand she had taken. His frustration was such, though, that he couldn't help but have a poke at the Board. "Those old……old…," he began, searching for the right expression. "Those…old…fogies on the Board of Governors wouldn't know what love was if it…..if it….if it jumped up and bit them on the knees," Mike flustered, causing Jenna to bite her lip to stifle a laugh but it didn't work. Despite her sadness she just had to laugh at poor Mike's serious face and that very funny expression, but then, that was Mike and one of the things she was going to miss about him.

Jenna did have a favour to ask of him, though. "Mike, I want you to let Ruthie know. I don't want her to be finding out on the grapevine, OK, and would you let the girls know as well, please," she asked, concerned that it would come as a shock to them should they find out through gossip, for Jenna was well liked and even loved at the hospital and news like this was bound to spread like wildfire. "But Mike, you can't tell them why I'm resigning, where I am or who I'm nursing," she cautioned, still aware that no one knew exactly where she was or who she was nursing and she had more reason now than ever to protect the Tracy family, since knowing their secret.

"All right, Jen," Mike agreed reluctantly. "I'll tell them you're resigning but what else am I going to tell them? They'll want to know something," he added, aware, too, of Jeff's desire for the strictest secrecy in this matter of his son's nursing care.

"Just….tell them I love them and I'll…I'll explain when I see them," Jenna replied wearily, beginning to feel drained by the emotion of the conversation. "Now, I must go. I have a patient waiting for me," she smiled gently. "I'll call in and see you from time to time. I love you, Mike," she said, finishing quickly and cutting the communication before he had a chance even to say goodbye. She was afraid if she stayed any longer Mike would wear her down and she knew she didn't have the strength for that right now.

Wiping a tear from her cheek Jenna hurried from the office and straight into Virgil.