Chapter 18
I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know that there's much more to come.
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be blinded by tears
I can stop the pain if I will it all away.
"Whisper"--Evanescence
copyright 2003 Wind-up Entertainment, Inc.
Jean took a deep, trembling breath and touched her fingers to Logan's slick temples. Her own upper lip was beaded with nervous perspiration, but she ignored it, concentrating on the task at hand. Professor? We're ready, she called silently to Xavier. Do you have Brianna?
Yes, but my sense of her is very weak. I may have to use a bit more force. Jean could feel the older man's reluctance. Please start, I will find you.
"C'mon Jean, let's move," Logan barked impatiently. The stark fear he had felt at the professor's words in the med lab fueled his desperation. He searched again for Vixen's presence in his psyche, and the silence he met made his blood run cold. He couldn't voice the unbearable ache in his heart at the thought of …not when they had just found…
Jean knew the turmoil going through her teammate's mind. She took Logan's face in her hands, directing his gaze to her own. "You will find her, Logan. I promise you. You won't be alone." She opened her mind and Logan could see her deep friendship for Brianna, her delight at the other woman's happiness with him. And the doctor's love for Wolverine, as well. Jean truly wanted him to be at peace. She was one of the few that understood what a rare, elusive feeling that was for him.
Love ya, Jeannie. Let's do this. Logan focused his thoughts on the dingy, cold cell where his woman had tried to kill him on that long-forgotten day. Jean once again placed shaking fingers to heated temples, nodded up to Scott in the control room…
And the world turned sideways.
Brianna, can you hear me? A ghostly voice whispered in my mind. Brianna, I want to help you! I ignored it. They were trying to trick me into giving away my position. Best to stay quiet and invisible. The echoing whisper persisted, growing stronger. Brianna!
No, go away, go away, no more, I can't…I tried to sink into the floor, my arms tight over my head.
"Brianna Hastings! On your feet!" A truly audible voice bellowed over my head, startling me. There had been no precursory scent to warn me of anyone approaching. An unpleasant fizzy feeling began to tingle in the back of my neck. The voice was sternly commanding, but held no underlying malice. "Vixen! Now! You cannot stay here!" And in my head that whisper again, Come with me, Brianna, we'll see you safe.
As if drawn against my will, I peered out from under one crooked elbow. My gaze was met with a pair of well-shod feet and…wheels?
Logan felt as if he were on an out-of-control roller coaster. With Jean drawing them out, the memories were fragmented and jumbled, everything flying past him in a loud brilliant kaleidoscope of voices and faces, just out of reach. How the hell was this going to work?
Jean gritted mental teeth. Concentrate, Logan. Brianna, we're looking for Brianna! The flame-haired doctor focused her power a bit more. She could feel the heat building in her body as she guided the stream of Logan's thoughts. Brianna, we've got to find her.
With a resolute growl, Wolverine forced all his will to that one point, finding the woman he loved amidst the chaos that was his altered psyche. Such was his concentration that he did not see the fire ignite behind Jean's eyes as they navigated further into the past.
"Brianna."
I raised my eyes, past burnished metal, smooth leather and they came to rest on the glowing countenance of an angel. A bald, hawk-nosed, wheelchair-bound angel. This visage puzzled me all the more as it began to fade, then flashed back to solidity. I winced as the buzzing, painful sensation spread up the back of my head. The bright aura around the man's head was gone, replaced by a look of extreme worry and regret.
"Brianna, you need to come with me. It is dangerous to stay here much longer." He held out a hand, offering to help me to my feet.
I eyed the stranger warily, unsure of my own reasons for suddenly trusting this man. It seemed as if I knew him, his presence fuzzily familiar like the faces in my dreams. But the pain in my head was rising to wasp-sting intensity and making it terribly hard to concentrate.
My companion's expression changed from concern to resolve. "Logan is waiting for you, Brianna. He wants you home." Logan…the name brought hope to my heart. Again a hand was extended and this time I took it without hesitation.
A gasp escaped my lips as the hazy veil was lifted from my psyche. "Professor! How…what…" The pain sliced through my head again, and Xavier's form began to fade.
"You need to go on your own, Brianna. If I stay too long I could kill you. Logan and Jean are looking for you, somewhere up there." The Professor nodded his head to indicate the long hallway that was once again dotted with ebony doors. My memories, the keys to my past were all waiting for me to discover them. And somewhere in the jumble of forgotten places and horrific events my soulmate was searching, trying to lead me back to the real world.
Grey, dingy walls…the smell of mildew, blood and despair…Vixen, where are you?...soldiers with guns…rage, fear…Jean, help!...concentrate…high security, great danger threat if he gets loose…take the woman first…
Logan hit the floor, hard, biting his tongue and tasting blood. Cold metal and concrete gave his shouted expletives a hollow echo in his ears. After a quick appraisal, Logan realized he was back in the maximum security cell of his memory. "We did it! Jean!" But his friend was nowhere to be seen.
I'm here, Logan, Dr. Grey's voice whispered in his head. But you need to do this part on your own. Brianna is coming, the Professor set her on our trail.
But what do I do?
Logan could feel Jean's smile. Lead her out, Wolverine. Just like you did, here, years ago. You saved her once, you can do it again.
And Logan remembered.
