AN: I want to thank everyone that reviewed. I get excited every time I get a review, so if you want to make me happy, please review. If you do not want to make me happy, do not review. I also want to thank Somebody Special for helping me with ideas for this fanfic.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am not J.K. Rowling, therefore I do not own Harry Potter. Simple as that.

James was accustomed to Lily rejecting him, since she did it so often, it was almost becoming a tradition. He was not expecting Lily to physically hurt him by his relatively harmless question, however. Or, in better words, spray him in the eyes with pepper spray.

"Lily! Merlin, that hurts!" James exclaimed.

Sirius bounded down the stairs quickly to see a red-haired girl running up the stairs to the girls' dormitory and a distressed James with his head in his hands. "You okay?" Sirius asked, uncertainly.

"No. What did I ever do to her?"

"What happened?" Sirius asked, uneasily.

"Well, here I was, harmless as always, when I ask an innocent question. And then, Lily, sprays me with pepper spray! I didn't do anything! I swear!" James explained.

"Do you need to go to the hospital wing? Your eyes are kind of turning red. Really red, actually," Sirius said.

"Great. Just what I needed. With the quidditch game tomorrow on top of everything else!" James seemed to have forgotten their feud as the two friends walked together through the portrait hole towards the hosptial wing.


Remus got released from the hospital wing and headed to the common room.

He hid around a corner as he saw James and Sirius walking out of the portrait, discussing James's eye injury. Remus went inside the common room as they walked from sight and headed up to his dormitory. As he walked inside, Remus could not help but notice a book open on Sirius's bed with ink and a quill lying next to it.

What would Sirius be doing with an open book on his bed? Only one way to find out. Remus walked towards his bed and looked at the page the book was open on and noticed it was handwritten. The handwriting also happened to belong to Sirius Black. Is this his diary or journal or something? Should I read it or not?

Remus decided that since it was open, he would read the one page it was open on. He read the entry outloud, whispering it as he deciphered Sirius's handwriting. "The full moon was last night. I don't know what to do. I saw Remus today in the hospital wing and he looked so calm and peaceful. I think he feels better with me gone. I can't believe I was so stupid. From the previous full moon to last night's was the longest in my life. Seeing Remus day after day, not talking to or with him, hurt me so much. I hated seeing his eyes darken everytime he looked at me. In the hospital wing, as I was staring at him, I-"

I what? It's not finished. I can't believe Sirius thinks I'm better off without him. The only reason I was calm was because he was there. Do my eyes really darken when I look at him? Despite his earlier resolution, Remus needed to read more to find out about what he caused his usually unsensitive friend. As he was flipping through Sirius's private thoughts, he noticed Sirius tended to write once a week. I wonder what he thought before the willow incident? Remus flipped through the pages until he found the last entry before Snape found out.

Remus is driving me insane. I have to look at him day after day, without letting anything slip. I don't know how much longer I can stand this. Everytime I look at him, I notice everything. I notice how his eyes light up when he's with his friends as if nothing is more important than us. Everytime he sits through a class, he sits through all of it and pays attention even though I know he would rather be off doing something else with me, James, or Peter. Everytime someone says something mean to him or acts unkind to him, his eyes look all sad, no matter who's rejecting him. That expression just makes me want to kill whoever is causing Remus pain. He always puts up a mask around himself. No one can tell by looking at him what he's really thinking. But if you look in his eyes, you can see everything there is to know about him over that careful cover he's placed around himself. Everytime he's hungry or tired, he never tells anyone. He deals everything by himself, even if he starves himself. I don't get how he can work so hard on a homework assignment. Everytime he's stuck or thinks about something especially hard, his eyes cloud over a bit and he chews on his bottom lip. Then when he solves it, his mouth is slightly open as he writes down his ideas quickly, and his amber eyes are bright with the excitement of overcoming another obstacle. He smiles a lot, but mostly because he's so polite. He rarely laughs, but when he does, I feel like I could hear him laugh forever and never get tired of it. Although he would never admit it, Remus is always scared I'll reject him for being a werewolf. Well, I think that's kind of stupid as I've known him for five years (this year is the sixth) and still have found no reason to hate him.

How can Sirius write so much about me Remus thought, flabbergasted. He reminds me of myself whenever I'm in the same room as him. Remus flipped to a page following the willow incident.

I screwed up.

That was all Sirius wrote on the next day after what happened. Remus could not help noticing, the page looked like it had been in the rain, in that there were dried water droplets on it. Or tears, Remus realized. He went to the next page after that.

Why did I do it? I completely hurt Remus, and now, I don't know what to do. He won't speak to me, and I don't blame him. I wouldn't speak to me either. It all started with Snivellus. Merlin, I hate him. He was always so nosy, poking his large, greasy nose where it didn't belong. There he was, trying to see where Remus went every month. What would anyone else have done? Then, after I told James, I realized what I had done. Snape isn't going to just go there, be scared and back out and run up to the castle. And if he dies, Remus will get expelled and maybe go to Azkaban. I never, ever wanted to hurt Remus, and now, I've hurt him more than can be fixed with a simple I'm sorry. I lost my three best friends. I lost Remus. And now, he'll never know or even want to know. I can't march up to a guy that hates me, and tell him I've had a crush on him since third year and in love with him since fifth. Especially since I'm a guy too.

Remus put the diary down, not believing what was inscribed on the page. He loves me, and now he thinks I hate him. This is just perfect.

Remus heard footsteps from outside the door and he quickly went and sat on his bed, pulling out a book to read from under the bed.

Sirius walked in and went directly to his bed, not looking at Remus. He went to his own bed and stared at his diary that had been moved from its original positon and flipped to another page. He looked at Remus, acting too innocent and reading a book upside down.

AN: Yay! Another chapter finished! This one is my longest so far and I'm trying to update once a day. So far, that is working but I might not get a chance to update every day.