AN: I'm so sorry! Will everyone please forgive me? I'm really, really, really, really, really... sorry! I'm really sorry about the late update. And I'm even more sorry for what I had to write in this chapter. But it's necessary! Please! Don't judge anything or the story yet! There's a perfectly good explanation about it in the next chapter.

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter (which I don't), Sirius and Remus would be together and Tonks would not exist.

Sirius looked at his flustered friend in confusion. "Remus..."

He stopped abruptly, shook his head, and attempted to start again. "Why are you reading a book upside down?"

"I'm not," Remus replied quickly before glancing at his book. He started wondering why he could not decipher the letters. "Wait... why can't I read this?"

"Because generally, people read books right-side up," he responded, warily. Remus blushed and tried to come up with an explanation.

"Oh, umm... I thought it was Greek."

"You can't read Greek," Sirius said.

"That's why I couldn't read it."

"Then why's the title in English?"

Remus did not answer and occupied himself by searching for another book. Awkward silence filled the room while Sirius picked up his diary and read the passage it was open to. Did he read it? No, he couldn't have. He's actually talking to me. But what if it's because he's guilty? He really looks guilty. But maybe he's guilty because he read what I wrote and is trying to make me feel better for falling in love with someone I can't have.

While Sirius was pondering, Remus was fighting a losing battle with himself. What if he knows I read the diary? Sirius looks like he's depressed. Why do I even care? I remember I had some sort of epiphany at the hospital wing earlier. But what was it? Why do I care about Sirius so much? He doesn't mean anything. He's just a friend. Was just a friend. Remus put down his book, sighed, and left the dormitory in favor of going to the Sirius-free library.


Remus started walking slowly from the library after it closed. He wandered through the halls on the way to his common room. As he was walking, he passed a girl that looked around the same age as him leaning against a wall outside the common room door, whispering, "Just do it. I just have to march in there and do it."

Do what? Remus followed her in through the door, and saw her sitting on a couch, breathing deeply. Remus ascended the stairs rapidly and opened the door. He noticed Sirius was still on his bed, staring straight up, and oblivious to Remus's entrance. Remus laid down on his bed and closed the thick drapes surrounding him.

He heard a soft knock at the door. Sirius seemed to wake up from his trance. Remus heard him get up, not noticing the other occupied bed. The sound of a door opening, followed by footsteps to another bed. Then, Remus heard slightly heavier footsteps following the first, and a deep voice asking, "May I help you?"

Remus heard a thud followed by a soft, high pitched moan. Remus, afraid of what he would see outside of his curtains, opened them anyways. As he drew back the drapes, what he saw made him wish he had not eaten lunch.

He saw a small, slender body straddling his gorgeous, black friend. Gorgeous? Where did that come from?

He knew he had to look away but he could not tear his eyes from the scene before him. Remus saw Sirius's hands snake their way to the front of the girl's shirt. Remus felt a stab of jealousy as he saw Sirius groping her. Do I like her? Why do I feel jealous? As she moaned against his mouth again, he realized what the problem was.

He did not like the girl. He wanted to be in the girl's position. After his second epiphany in the space of a day, he raced out of the dormitory, desperate to find some consolation.

AN: Okay, so in case people have not realized, the reason this had to happen is because Remus does not know he loves Sirius. He only knows subconsiously and that is what happened in the hospital wing when he was too weak to control his thoughts. He doesn't really remember that either. He was too tired. So this had to happen to make Remus realize everything. And don't worry about the girl. She's not important. She's only something to trigger Remus's epiphany.