The Tracy Family and Thunderbirds are the creation of Sylvia and Gerry Anderson
Chapter 47
Scott contemplated everything she said, swallowing back the emotion he felt rising in him. It amazed him that she had felt so deeply for him when the best he had hoped for was, if she could learn to love him. Of course she was right; he would always have the love and support of his family but it wouldn't be the same as having the love and support of a partner in life, a lover and soul-mate, someone with whom he could share things with, someone he could share his bed with and keep him warm at night, someone with whom he could be physically intimate. He wanted so much to believe that she was willing to share this disability with him for that is what he had longed for and judging by her little speech, she had already given it a lot of thought.
"You really mean that, Jen?" Scott asked incredulously, needing to be absolutely sure. He knew in his heart, though, that Jenna was a strong-minded young woman and once she had made up her mind it was because she knew what she wanted. He felt a surge of excitement through him, perhaps, because it reminded him of someone else he knew who was strong-minded and knew exactly what it was he wanted, and once decided, rarely changed his mind.
"Of course I do," Jenna reassured him lovingly, stroking his face softly with the backs of her fingers. "I love you with all my heart. I'm not going to pretend that all of a sudden everything's going to be easy. I know it'll be an uphill struggle and there'll be bridges to cross but we'll cross those bridges one at a time….together…if you'll let me," she added, letting him know she intended to be in this for the long haul, that she was not one of these people who cut and run when their partner was going through a tough time.
It was more than he had hoped for and the emotion clearly showed in his voice and in his face, his moistened eyes shining with happiness and joy. "Jen, you've been with me practically every minute of every day since I woke up, even before I woke up," he started to say with a light laugh. "You've been with me 24/7. When I wake up, you're here, when I go to sleep, you're here and I can't imagine it being any other way, I can't imagine being without you. I want you to stay with me, Jen. I want you to be with me," Scott asked, the words now flowing easily and naturally as he searched her face for her answer and still holding on firmly to her left hand.
Jenna could not keep the beam of a smile from her face and her heart from dancing with joy. "Good," she said lightly. "I'm glad you see it my way," she added with a wry and seductive grin, intending now to have a little fun with him.
Scott narrowed his eyes in playful suspicion and Jenna was sure she saw his cheek muscle twitch just a little. "Your way?" he asked in mock incredulity, trying to keep the grin from his face, starting to relax and be content in the knowledge of their love for one another.
"Why yes of course….my way. You didn't really think it was your idea…did you?" she said, giving him a wry smile and using all of her womanly wiles.
"Care to come up here and say that, Nurse Rollins," he challenged her, indicating that she join him to recline on the bed together and knowing this was another of their little verbal sword plays which he enjoyed so much and found so stimulating.
Never one to back down from a challenge, especially one of this nature, and with Scott having now let go of her hand, Jenna kicked off her flat nurses' shoes and swung herself onto the bed beside him on his left side. "Now…you were saying," she replied, eyeing him in mock defiance.
He continued to narrow his eyes, though he couldn't keep the grin from spreading across his face. "Why do I get the feeling I've just been reeled in like a…..prize trout!" Scott remarked with the pretence of one who has been manipulated.
"Oh…come now, Mr Tracy," she responded with her playfully seductive grin. "Hardly a prize trout! More like…shall we say…a magnificent Marlin," she added, looking him up and down appreciatively as she stroked a finger down his chest, a Marlin being a truly magnificent big game fish that takes a lot of handling and is extremely hard to land due to its fighting and thrashing against its capture.
His eyes glinted with fire and mischief, laughing outright at the analogy of her referring to him as a fighting, thrashing big game fish, though in truth, it wasn't that far off the mark as he thought of how he had fought against the possibility of her loving him. "Seriously though, Jen….you will stay with me, won't you?" Scott asked, returning again to important matters as he took her hand tenderly in his own once more. He never felt the pain of frustration more so than now, of having a useless left arm, longing with all his heart to put his protective arm around her, though, in her sitting on this side, it allowed him to hold her hand, to touch her. It was one of those things he reckoned he was going to have to get used to, one of those obstacles to overcome.
"Of course I will," Jenna promised him, giving him a warm and reassuring smile. "More than anything in the world I want to be with you," she added, reinforcing her desire to be with him.
The thankful and relieved smile that he gave her faded and his face became a little troubled as a thought filled his mind, causing Jenna to ask him what was wrong. "Jen…it's like I said….you've been here with me 24/7 and I can't imagine you not being here with me but I know when I'm as good as I'm going to get and this nursing contract finishes and I don't need a nurse any longer….well Jen, I know you love your job, your good at it….I just don't know if I can bear to see you only a couple of times a week. When I asked you to stay with me, to be with me…I meant here…on the island…permanently," he said almost in a rush, pouring out his heart and knowing he was all but asking her to give up her job at the hospital, for it would be practically impossible to commute to the mainland every day, not with the kind of tiring job she did that sometimes had unusual hours.
"Ah!" Jenna said, wincing and looking sheepishly down at the crisp, white cotton sheet, on top of which they reclined, as if studying the manner in which it was made. Biting her lip, she thought of how she would break this news to him, there being no reason now that he shouldn't know as seeing she only kept it from him for a while because she didn't know how he felt about her.
A sudden chill gripped Scott's heart, thinking that, perhaps, it was something she hadn't thought about and that maybe she was not prepared to give up her job to live with him here. If so, he would have to accept it and be prepared to travel to the mainland to see her for he was not going to lose her now; it was a bridge they would have to cross, he just didn't think they would be crossing them quite so soon.
"Scott….there's something I have to tell you," she started tentatively but on seeing his crestfallen face and knowing he was thinking she didn't want to be here with him, she was quick to reassure him it was nothing like that. The relief on his face was palpable, though now he was puzzled and vowing to himself that any problem of hers was now his.
"I've resigned my post at the hospital," Jenna admitted to him quietly. "I sent it off this morning….," she added andabout to continue.
"You've resigned?" Scott repeated, somewhat surprised and puzzled for he knew she genuinely loved her calling as a nurse. While he had to admit he wouldn't mind if she gave up her job at the hospital, knowing there would always be a job for her here, he would never have forced her to if she hadn't wanted. "But Jen……you loved your job," he stated, trying to fathom her reasons for doing so and realising she had resigned before he had told her he loved her or asked her to stay.
Scott had lost none of his ability to reason things out, that's what made him so good at what he did, so when Jenna hesitated in her response to think of how she would answer and drawing her eyes away from him he put two and two together. "It's because of me….isn't it?" he queried warily. "It's because we got physical…because I kissed you," he said in realisation of his desire for her having cost her the career she had worked so hard for. "I'm so sorry, Jen……I didn't mean for us to…..I didn't think it would cost you….," he said apologetically, quite prepared to take the full blame for having initiated the physical attraction between them before Jenna interrupted him.
"Now, you stop right there, Scott Tracy," she said firmly, looking him squarely in the face. "We've been down this road before. You've got nothing to apologise for. I knew what I was doing when I let you kiss me…..I wanted you to and I wanted to kiss you," she told him lovingly. "I knew the risk I was taking and I thought it was worth it. This is not your fault, Scott," she assured him with a smile as she cradled his face in her hand. "You're my patient…it was down to me to say no…but I couldn't. I don't think either of us could stop what was happening to us," she said, smiling fondly as she remembered the magnetic attraction between them. "So I resigned before I would give them the satisfaction of firing me, before I would let them turn something sweet and beautiful into something sordid and seedy," she added, feeling defiant and more than a little protective of him. "My only crime was to love you and for that I'm not sorry….but..I knew the rules and I broke them…so it was the right thing to do. And besides…I worked far too hard for my qualifications to let them take it all away from me, I would rather be in control of when I finished," she ended her explanation defensively.
"And you weren't gonna tell me," Scott asked gently, humbled by her depth of love for him and admiring of the stand she took to do what she felt was right.
"Like I said, you're my patient…I didn't want you to feel it was your fault and I wasn't going to put you under that emotional pressure…not with all you've been through," Jenna continued, her protectiveness being more so because of her love for him. "And I…didn't want you to have to feel obligated in any way," she confessed lamely, which seemed rather pointless now, now that she knew he loved her. "Well, I didn't know exactly how you felt…I didn't know if it wasn't just you falling for your nurse…you had been through a traumatic time and like you said, I had been there 24/7…I hoped it was something more but I didn't want to presume," she explained honestly.
Scott gave a light laugh. "I guess I can understand that one. I hoped you felt something for me but I didn't want to presume either. I guess…I hoped you would know how I felt by the way I kissed you," he responded modestly.
Jenna returned his laugh with a laugh of her own. "And I hoped you would know how I felt about you by the way I responded," she replied, both realising then, they had been feeling the same way.
"I should have talked to you before, Jen. I just didn't dare hope," he said, taking her hand again and starting to play with her fingers.
"That's all behind us now," Jenna stated positively, glad that her resignation and her reason for not telling him were now out in the open for she didn't want their relationship to start with keeping things from him.
Scott agreed, thankful too, that Jenna had confided in him as it made him feel more of an equal partner in this relationship and less like a total patient, who had to be protected from everything. "Jen…I need you to know…it was never infatuation because I'd been through a traumatic time….I was falling in love with you from the start," he assured her earnestly. "I've been through tough times before, been in hospitals with injuries…nursed by lots of pretty nurses," he said, giving her a wry grin, to which she responded with a raise of her eyebrows, making him hope she was, perhaps, that little bit jealous. "And I haven't felt this way before…and please don't tell me that this is an intense situation, Jen….I know that but I still know how I feel," he stated adamantly.
"I know you do," she answered gently, believing the intensity of his feelings while playing automatically with his fingers. Now that they were talking and sharing all these things Jenna felt there were a few other things he should know, not wishing to keep anything from him.
"Scott….there's something else you should know," she began, making him wonder what else there could be now. "Well….I've told your father I've resigned. That's where I was this morning and what I was doing when you were in the gym," she said, deciding to get straight to the point.
"Dad!" he exclaimed with somewhat of a surprise.
"Yes. I felt he had a right to know and I had to know if he was happy for me to continue nursing you. I am under his contract," Jenna explained, needing him to know her reasons. Scott nodded in understanding.
"And he knows why you resigned?" he ventured, though somehow he knew Jenna would be upfront with him. She nodded in response.
"And even if he hadn't walked in on us and knew I had got 'involved' with my patient I still would have told him…because it would have been the right thing to do…and I've come to like and respect your father too much for him to think less of me," she continued in explanation.
He knew she had no option and was both proud and admiring of her spirit for the stand she took, it being no easy thing to upfront it with his father like that, giving her hand a squeeze in assurance. He had to smile to himself, though, for she had become increasingly used to being forthright with his father on his behalf and if there was one thing he admired, it was honesty and integrity. He also couldn't help being secretly pleased that she had come to like and respect his father and that he in turn seemed to like and respect her, a big hurdle, indeed, to overcome for any woman that they would introduce into the Tracy household. He had begun to resign himself to the fact he would never have that privilege and had thought he would see his younger brothers bring home their life's partners while he remained alone, yet here he was, on the very brink of doing just that and in the most bizarre of circumstances. Life sure had a funny way of turning out, he mused and thinking of the saying: 'Every cloud has a silver lining', though he thought of his as pure gold.
"I..em…I also told him that I loved you," Jenna confessed, wanting him to know everything and, seeing his eyes widen in surprise, hurriedly informed him why. "Well I didn't want him to think I behaved that way with all my patients…I told you…I like your father and it mattered to me what he thought of me…and I didn't want him to think I was taking advantage of his son, that you meant nothing to me, when you mean everything," she added tenderly, looking deep into his eyes.
His heart swelled with love for her and it humbled him to think her love for him was that strong that he meant everything to her, that she had been willing to give up her job for him. He also couldn't help thinking he would liked to have seen the look on his father's face when she told him she loved his son.
"And how did he take that?" Scott asked, trying to imagine the scene in 'the old man's' office. "I'd like to have seen the look on his face," he said, breaking into a grin.
"Well….he was kinda speechless to start with," Jenna admitted, unable to keep her smile from getting bigger as she remembered Jeff Tracy's initial reaction, causing Scott to remark that that was no mean feat, to render Jefferson Tracy speechless, and saying he was impressed. "He said he had no problem with my continuing to nurse you and thanked me for my honesty…..and he said…he admired me for doing what I felt was right," she added embarrassingly, not wishing to draw any praise for doing the right thing. "And don't worry, I only told him how I felt," she finished assuredly, knowing Scott would want to tell his father in his own time for which he nodded his gratitude.
Jenna also told him she had told Mike of her resignation and her reasons for doing so, drawing another slightly surprised look from Scott. He was beginning to get the feeling more people knew she loved him before he did but, of course, he understood her reasons for having to tell Mike, he was a good man and a friend to Jenna when she most needed him and he had been instrumental in bringing her here, to him, a fact for which he would always be grateful.
"I had to, Scott…I owed him that much…I couldn't have him finding out through gossip," she said in defence of her reasons.
"It's OK, Jen…I understand. Of course you had to tell him..Mike's a good man," he replied reassuringly. "What did he say? Does he think I took advantage of his nurse?" Scott asked, slightly unsure if he wanted to hear the answer for he didn't want Mike to think the worst of him, to think that she meant nothing to him, when she meant everything.
"Oh no, Scott, he doesn't think that at all," she answered quickly, to put his mind at ease and giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "In fact, he says you're a young man he both admires and respects," she said proudly with a warm smile.
Scott gave her a smile of relief. "That everybody then?" he quipped laughingly and not seeing any reason for her to tell anyone else until she had spoken to him. "Haven't taken an ad out in the local paper, have you?" he continued to joke for which he received a playful poke in the ribs, making him flinch with laughter.
"No..of course not," she replied indignantly, though what his reaction was going to be to this next bit she wasn't quite sure, though she did assure him she hadn't 'told' anyone else but then, that didn't mean no one else knew. "But…," she said hesitantly, looking down at the sheet again, as though for inspiration, while chewing her lip, causing Scott to wonder what on earth he was going to hear this time.
"But?" he repeated, pulling his face into a puzzled frown as he awaited this next revelation.
"Now don't be mad, Scott," she said, as though trying to prepare him for news he might not want to hear.
"Why would I be mad, Jen?" he half-laughed with puzzled amusement.
"Now…it wasn't his fault…I didn't have the door closed…and he was only coming to leave something in your father's office….he just wanted to help…and I've already chewed him out and I felt bad about that….," she tried explaining as her words all came out in a rush, so much so, that Scott was totally mystified.
"Jen…slow down. I haven't the faintest idea what you're talkin' about," he laughed with puzzled confusion.
"Virgil was outside the office when I was on the phone to Mike," Jenna said slightly sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders in a 'Well, now you know' fashion.
"VIRGIL!" Scott exclaimed, the total surprise in his voice being evident.
