II: In The White Room
I stayed in the hallway, alone, lost in my own thoughts for I don't know how long. I had wondered what else Nixta had taken from me in the middle of the night six months ago. Hell, I'd lain awake hours thinking about that, and never in a million years would I have guessed she'd create the next Guardian from my stolen cells. And how much of me was really in him? There was no denying the fact he looked scarily like I did at twenty-five, but really….
How much of him was … human?
I closed my eyes and wiped sweat off my forehead. My heart was actually hammering in my chest and I slid down the wall and sat on the floor as everything finally started to sink in. Okay, John, get a grip. You've been in worse situations than this. I snorted. Yeah, but in those situations I could usually shoot my way out or rely on a well placed amount of C-4 to take care of things. This was just totally … fubar. And who the hell could I talk to about something like this? It sure as hell isn't going to be a shrink – they're about as useless as tits on a boar in my opinion. Teyla would offer an ear – she did before – but that just didn't feel right. I respected her as a teammate and all, but this was just too, I don't know – intimate, I guess.
And definitely not Rodney.
Oh, God no – he'd turn it into cannon fodder for practical jokes for years. I could just see it now – cat toys left in my vest pockets, boxes of kitty litter waiting for me in my bathroom, rubber mice in my boots.
Then I would have no choice – I'd have to shoot him.
I frowned and leaned my head back against the wall. Then I lightly banged it a few times. The frustrating thing about this whole situation, besides it making me question my own sanity, was other people's reaction to it. The humor is irritating and pretty much expected, and I can handle that. I think. But if anyone shows me pity or says they're sorry, so help me God I'm going to go fucking ballistic.
Then something went through my mind and I actually calmed a bit.
I wonder what he thinks of all of this? Because really, if you step back and take a good long look, he's just as much of an unwitting player in this crap as I am. Automated clone production system – Jesus.
"Huh," I grunted and glanced down the hall. Nobody had come out of the room yet and I hoped that wasn't a bad sign. I took several deep breaths and finally felt my pulse start to slow down and that weird, tight cold feeling leave my chest that had been present since the atrium.
I was thinking about heading back down to control to make sure Rodney was behaving when my radio came to life. "Colonel, could you come back down to control?" Rodney said.
I tapped my earpiece as I got up. "Was just about to head that way. You must be psychic. Or is that psychotic?"
"Funny. Don't quit your day job," Rodney said and cut off his transmission.
A minute later I was standing at the door to the White Room and was glad to see the ZPM was still in place and nothing was dismantled. Yet. Zelenka had his laptop set up on top of the pod and he noticed me standing there before Rodney did. "Ah, Colonel. Come in," he said.
"Gimme a sec, Radek," I said. I took a deep breath, ran a hand across my mouth, stepped across the threshold, and hey – my pulse stayed normal. Rodney flashed me a worried look and that made me frown murderously at him. "So, what'dya got?" I said through my teeth and boom, just like that I could see Rodney knew right where to stand with me on this whole mess. Good.
"Took the scenic route on the way down?" Rodney shot back. And just for a second the corner of his mouth twitched up in an understanding smirk.
Good friend, I thought. "No – I was looking for a gourd of that good stuff we had last time for Radek to sample."
"Oh, yeah," Rodney said with some truly heartfelt wistfulness. "Radek, you could take a lesson from these pygmies."
Zelenka pushed his glasses up. "I will have you know, my product is perfect …."
"As a disinfectant," Rodney muttered.
"Bah. What does Canadian know about good vodka? Your country is bland, bring the world Celine Dion and 'Wreck of Edmond Fitzgerald'." Radek mimed a yawn.
Ouch, I mouthed to Rodney.
Rodney twitched, jaw out. "I will have you know that I spent enough time in Russia to know that, one – vodka should not be the various and assorted colors of the rainbow, either singularly or combined. It's clear, Radek, clear. And two – it should not turn your urine a matching color for the next two days. And three …." He twitched his head in that way that always made me think of Rodney Dangerfield. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with Gordon Lightfoot," he finished in a rush.
I snorted and shook my head sadly. "You have to admit, though - they did give us Bob and Doug MacKenzie," I said to Zelenka.
He pursed his lips and nodded as he thought. "True. True. Strange Brew, very underrated movie." Then he turned to Rodney and said, "Take off, you hoser." And he nailed it.
Rodney just kind of crumpled in exasperation and glanced back and forth between us. Then he sighed heavily, gazed upwards, and said with arms flapping, "Why? Why me? What did I do to disserve this?"
I could elaborate, but we'd be here all week, I thought and held back a snort. But, ah, it was good to have things almost back to normal. I wandered over by Zelenka and peeked at his computer. There was a graphic of a DNA strand with pieces lighting up here and there, and information was scrolling by alarmingly fast. "Is that …." I hooked a thumb roughly in the direction of the ceiling.
"Yes," Zelenka replied and adjusted his glasses. "You may appear too disturbingly alike on surface for me to handle at moment without antacid, but underneath you are as similar as, as, apples and tomatoes. The level of genetic alteration is …." He rattled off something in Czech that almost made me say gesundheit. "I am making copy of record for Carson – he will be very interested." Then he glanced at me over the top of his glasses and hesitantly asked, "So, can he, you know." He curled his fingers into claws and briefly bared his teeth in a poor excuse of a snarl.
I put my hands on my hips and clamped my lips down, but it was more from an effort to keep from smiling than from getting pissed. His asking like that just, I don't know, made it easier to deal with. "I'm pretty sure," I said. "He did that ripply-fur thingy upstairs a little bit ago."
"Did Carson see?" Rodney asked.
I nodded. "He jumped."
"Huh," Rodney said. "'Bloody hell' or 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph'?"
"The second."
"Wow, he was really surprised, then," Rodney said. Then he proceeded to switch topics in his usual spastic ADD way. "We've pretty much figured out how this whole system works. The operator takes an already fertilized egg that hasn't started dividing yet and replaces the nucleus with one from the cell of the, ah, chosen sample. Straight forward somatic cell nuclear transfer – just like Dolly." He glanced at me in worry suddenly, as if being compared to a cloned sheep might have been the wrong thing to say. I shrugged and just lifted my chin to get him for him to continue. "The sample then is placed in cold storage until needed. That is in a lab one floor above."
"Huge cold storage facility," Zelenka added. "Thousands of specimens. No, millions. Takes up half of level."
"Right. When it's needed – and I haven't quite figured out how this place knows when to make a new Guardian – the sample is retrieved automatically." He came over to the pod and tapped the clear top. "This fills with a nutrient matrix, the sample is injected, and within seconds after cell division starts it's just bombarded with controlled radiation to accelerate growth." He glanced briefly at the ZPM and a pained frown briefly crossed his face.
"Once embryo has reached, oh, six month stage roughly, then it is subjected to gene enhancement," Zelenka added. He scooted down along the edge of the pod. "See all these holes in bottom? Each one contains tube, different ones come out different stages, and attach to clone and introduce new gene therapy."
I crossed my arms and frowned. They both stopped and were looking at me expectantly. This time I just waved them on to continue.
Rodney cleared his throat. "Ah, this goes on over the space of ten days. Now the last step is really, really cool. See that cap in the top? Well, once the body is complete that lowers down and hundreds of monofilaments inject into the clone's brain."
I grimaced and felt my heart shoot up a few beats per minute.
"Okay. Maybe, um, maybe 'cool' wasn't the best choice in words," Rodney said with a crooked grimace. "Anyhow, everything the Guardian needs to know is dumped directly into its brain." He started ticking things off on his fingers. "Language, schematics, systems details, logs, you name it – everything it will need to know to run this place until the Ancients return, downloaded in just a few minutes."
What about personality and emotions? I wondered to myself. Experience? All those things that make a person a person? Did the fucking Ancients ever factor that into their little experiment?
"But, unfortunately, Ancients never return," Zelenka said. "So system keeps running. These Guardians have long life, when die, replaced with new." He took his glasses off – a sure sign he's either thinking something over or something is bothering him – and cleaned them on his shirt. "Very cold, efficient system, if you ask me."
"So this thing just cranks out, what, a walking breathing organic interface to keep this place running?" I said. I scrubbed a hand hard across my face. Sometimes the Ancients really piss me off – makes me want to hunt them down and kick them in their evolved, ascended asses.
"Well, yes and no," Rodney said as he called up some data on his computer. "The Ancients originally did design the project to be nothing but a custodian – as a matter of fact the first being it did create is referred to by that name in the records."
Zelenka made the most disgusted snort I have ever heard as he put his glasses back on.
Rodney continued. "But that first one started keeping its own personal records and by the time it was nearing the end of its, well, usefulness it created a subroutine to add that into the information dump into the new Guardian. A name it chose for itself, by the way. And every one ever since has added to that file."
"It's as if they were injecting their own … humanity into program," Zelenka added.
"Then why the cat thing?" I said.
"I have theory," Zelenka said. He glanced at Rodney and held up a hand to keep him quiet. "The Ancients needed this Guardian to stay alive, keep lab and information safe, yes? What better way than to infuse it with a god-like ability? Make primitive locals worship and protect instead of kill and destroy."
"Huh," Rodney said and cocked his head. "That's actually … good." Zelenka and I froze for a second and just stared at Rodney. Rodney stared back. "What?"
I shook my head and Zelenka grunted. "But the whole thing kind of turned around on them," I said as I remembered Nixta's last words to me – please help my people. "The Guardian started to care more for the people than the experiments."
"Exactly," Zelenka said.
I looked down at the pod and another thing popped through my mind. "Did any of the other previous Guardians have the ATA gene?"
"I don't believe so," Rodney said. "At least, not as far as I've been able to find. It does look like about, oh, four incarnations ago the Guardian started taking samples from travelers through the stargate for new genetic material. Maybe they were searching for it, but just hadn't been successful until now."
So Shadow was the first Guardian with the ATA gene. My previous freak-out state was starting to get replaced with seething anger. "The Ancients didn't want their little pet experiment to have run of the place, wanted it to stay in line and do what it was programmed to do," I halfway growled to myself.
"Seems that way," Rodney said. He sounded a little alarmed at my reaction.
"Assholes," I muttered. I rubbed the back of my neck. "You two about done in here?"
"As soon as this file downloads," Zelenka said. "When finished, we leave room."
"Yeah," Rodney said. He glanced around the stark white sterile room. "I hate to say it, but this is really starting to creep me out."
Twenty minutes later I was sealing the room down tight again. I also thought about setting a charge of C-4 but that was just the vindictive part of me putting in its two-cents worth.
Zelenka went back to the station he was working at earlier and reconnected his computer. "Will you two be staying for feast later?"
Rodney's head shot up. "They having Jubjub?" he asked hopefully.
"What is Jubjub?" Zelenka said dubiously.
"Big bird, local, mean as hell, tastes wonderful," I said though a grin. "Kintu and his boys ride 'em."
"Oh," Zelenka said. "Yes, that is what they brought back this morning. But they did not call it by that name."
"We're staying," Rodney said. "Besides, Radek could probably use some help."
Zelenka's frown indicated he didn't.
"Okay. I'll check in with Elizabeth, let her know we're staying. Do you need anything sent over?"
"No, I think I have everything I need," Rodney said. He was already distracted by the prospect of playing some more in the outpost's database. Zelenka shot me a very pained and pleading look, but all I could do was offer a shrug as I backed out of the room. By the time I got to the lift I could already hear them arguing.
I stepped out of the lift on the ground level and went looking for Teyla and Dr. Brown. I circled the fountain and could only find one Marine at the door. He got twitchy again, but that quit soon enough when I nonchalantly readjusted one of the thigh straps on my sidearm. He pointed out an entrance to a corridor to the right that was all but hidden by plants and I left after the sharpest salute I've received in a long time. I followed the gently curving hall about halfway around the side of the building and found Katie showing Teyla and Lorne how to pack what specimens she had collected for transport back to Atlantis. She had one of three storage crates folded open and nearly full.
Teyla glanced up and nodded at me. Lorne offered a brief salute and a poker face then quickly looked away. Katie gave me a quick once over and actually blushed a little. Oh, man, I thought, and for a second I wanted to just turn around and head back the way I came. Good thing Rodney wasn't here to see that; I don't know if his computer could handle another drop.
"Colonel, isn't this place amazing?" Katie said.
"I didn't realize this was back here," I replied and glanced around. Made sense, though – the corridor in the living quarters upstairs ringed the building.
"This goes all the way around," Katie continued without looking directly at me. "When Nixt … Shadow gave me a tour earlier he explained that each section is devoted to different climate zones, and those are separated by either a shield, if the zones are similar for light requirements, or an actual bulkhead if not."
"You should see the fungus room, sir," Lorne said. "Yummy," he added under his breath.
"I personally enjoyed the grassland and high desert area," Teyla said. "It smelled wonderful. And it was dry."
"And all of these have some kind of medicinal value?" I asked.
Katie nodded. "It's been difficult choosing samples. Shadow pointed out ones I might find interesting and it's nearly filled all of my cases. I can't wait to hit the second floor."
"What's up there?"
"The toxic and dangerous plants."
I must have looked alarmed because Teyla said, "It is perfectly safe, Colonel. The truly poisonous plants are contained within protective shielding, and most of the hazardous substances produced by the rest must be refined in some way to release their potential."
"The most we might get is a rash a little cortisone cream will take care of," Katie assured me.
"Okay," I said. "But if you need to collect anything, have the Major here do it for you." Lorne glanced up briefly and I just offered him a tight little smile. Teach you to be 'highly amused', I thought. I saw Teyla cover her smile with a hand. "Well, Rodney and I are going to stick around, at least for the night. I'm going to take the Jumper and check in with Weir, then maybe take a short jaunt around the area."
Teyla stood up and brushed the knees of her pants. "How is the woman they brought in?" she asked softly.
"I don't know – didn't check," I replied quietly then felt bad because I hadn't. "I'm pretty sure Carson and Shadow have things under control."
"I'm sure you are right," Teyla said. "We will be eating at sunset again. That should be in roughly three hours."
"I'll definitely be back by then," I said. My mouth watered at the thought of roasted Jubjub again.
And my stomach growled at the smell as I trekked back through the currently rain free village. I detoured to one of the few stone buildings that stood in the place – a large communal kitchen like set up – and tried to finagle an early taste, but all I got was a few hand slaps and a lot of giggling. Someone did take pity on me and hand me some just-off-the-cooking-stone flat bread as they shoved me out the door, so that was okay. It was gone before I was even halfway to the village gate.
I sent the Marine guarding the Jumper back to the Temple, and as I took it up through the jungle canopy I was happy to see a little clear sky headed our way. As I brought it around and headed for the Great Pyramid, I couldn't help but to flash back on the tense trip from the village to the stargate the last time we were here. I covered the distance in a matter of seconds; on foot it took us nearly forty minutes, and Nixta, Kintu, and his riders kept us safe. I wonder - if we hadn't gone to salvage the MALP, would she still be alive today? Or would that other big cat have stalked them and gutted her on the way back? Or maybe it was just a matter of time and she was nearing the end anyway. She did say something to that effect the night before, and quite honestly this wasn't the first time all this had gone through my head. There was just more light this time around, but that still didn't ease the fact that I felt somehow partly responsible for her death that day.
I landed the Jumper, got out, and walked over to the edge of the platform. The broken stone that marked where the MALP took its fatal tumble was now the same color as the rest of the weather worn rock around it. The untarnished arm was still sitting on the first terrace down but I couldn't tell for sure where the rest lay at the bottom because of new growth. But I knew roughly where she had died trying to protect us. I could still hear that scream in my head, and when I closed my eyes I could even see clear as day the beads from her belt scattering in the sun when she made that final change. Funny what the mind focuses on in times of stress. When I was shot down over Afghanistan I don't remember the sound, or the explosion of the anti-aircraft round that took me down, or much of the landing, really. No, the one clear thing I remember was how the seam of my right sock was digging into my little toe and that it had been driving me absolutely bat-shit crazy since I got in the chopper that morning. Go figure.
Bright sunlight hit my closed eyes and I cracked them open. As I fished out my sunglasses I thought about the White Room and the Guardians. Each one had started their life knowing full well they were a, well, tool created by the Ancients for just one purpose. Man, that's gotta fuck you up in the head some. And from the sounds of it they were trying to change it. Nixta may have strayed off the path a little, but now I think I understand her reasoning behind what she did a little better.
As I walked back to the Jumper I think a little part of me forgave her, and some of my anger – but not all of it, mind you - was redirected at her creators.
I dialed up Atlantis from inside the Jumper and told Elizabeth that Rodney and I were staying the night.
"And that issue Carson needed to see you about?" she asked.
How much should I tell her? Should I ask her to switch over to a secure channel? Naw. I decided to evade. "Taken care of – wasn't life threatening. I'll brief you when I get back." Oh man, am I glad she can't see me say that. She'd know I was hiding something.
Judging from the pause that followed, she knew. Crap. "All right, Colonel. Enjoy your Jubjub." Heh, she remembered. "Atlantis out." I closed the ''Gate.
I spent the next two hours and then some scouting out the area with the Jumper cloaked. I first headed deeper into the interior to see if I could find any sign of that other village Nixta mentioned. I did find a volcano that had erupted recently and covered a shitload of land with those slow moving lava flows like you see in Hawaii. Scanning didn't reveal any other settlements within the vicinity, and within the vicinity I mean the entire peninsula that the city sat smack dab in the middle of. I did get lots of life signs but had no idea if they were people or wildlife, and the jungle canopy was too thick to actually see anything. There was another huge abandoned city near the coast, but this one was mostly rubble.
Before I headed back I shot into orbit and checked out the planet. It had five major continents and less ocean than Earth, but looked pretty much the same as a lot of the others we've visited. I didn't pick up anything of interest with the Jumper's limited scanners so I went back. I approached the village in the light of a bright orange sunset but I knew another rain front was on its way – I could see the dark line of clouds on the horizon just before I dropped below the jungle canopy.
The walk back through the village was torturous it smelled so good. I had an escort of children, and judging from the laughter and waves I got from the women in the primitive kitchen, they were sent as a diversion. I tried to play their little game of tag with them, but I guess I just wasn't as scary as Ronon or as twitchy as Rodney to make it any fun. As I got close to the Temple I could see they were setting up for the feast on the flagstones around the base of the stairs. There were already reed mats and those back rests I remember from last time set up in groups and clusters and everyone available seemed to be helping. As soon as I got close the kids were put to work, their mission accomplished. I wove my way through the setup and was in a pretty good mood as I took the stairs two at a time. The two Marines were stone faced when they saluted and that just made me grin even wider.
I found the inside of the atrium had been set up as well and quite a few of the village elders already lounging in the dry space. Kenje, Kintu's father, waved me over to where he sat by the fountain. He used to have Kintu's job as keeper of the big nasty birds they kept as mounts and he certainly showed it. Half his face was scar tissue from what must have been a beak attack and he was missing most of his right arm. This close I could see other old scars across his wiry body and bisecting his faded tattoos. Man, he's had a rough time of it, I thought as he reached up and put a hand on my shoulder. The top of his head maybe came to the middle of my sternum so it was a little of a reach and I tried very hard not to bend over as he started talking in case he found it insulting. He went on for a couple minutes in this grandfatherly tone, then smiled and patted my shoulder. I smiled back and nodded even though I didn't understand a single word he said.
"That was very nice," Teyla said next to me and actually made me jump.
"What was that about?" I asked and kept the smile plastered on my face.
"I missed the first part, but he wanted to thank you for the future you have given his village and his people," she said with a smile.
I felt my own smile start to slide from my face. "Um, please tell me he's talking about, ah, Shadow."
Teyla glanced up at me before she asked. Kenje replied. Even though her smile was still open and friendly when she glanced back up at me, I've known her long enough to tell that it wasn't her true smile. She opened her mouth and it took a couple tries before she could speak. "He said he is looking forward to seeing tall, proud Nixtahuec hunters." He said something else at length and the people sitting around us all broke out laughing. Teyla even barked out a short laugh then covered her mouth.
"What?" I asked as I felt a mild panic start to creep back into my brain. Teyla tried to talk but she kept one hand to her mouth and waved the other. "What?" I asked again out of the corner of the frozen grin I still had on my face. While she was getting herself under control, Kenje bent down and pushed a long necked gourd whose base was nearly as big as a ten pound pumpkin into my arms. The contents sloshed noticeably.
Teyla finally pulled herself together enough to sputter out, "He said he hopes the sons of the loud one will not scare the game away."
The wave of relief that washed over me made my vision swim for a second. Then I felt guilty, but again, only for a second. I had to clamp my teeth down hard on my lips for a moment and decided if I looked at Teyla right then I'd lose it completely. I held up the gourd and nodded a thanks to Kenje. He nodded back and slowly sat back down as if his joints hurt.
Teyla and I started to walk away, both of us slightly dazed. "Holy shit," I finally said. I was hugging the gourd and fought the urge to pop the stopper and drink directly from it.
Teyla cleared her throat. "We should tell Rodney," she said, her voice slightly strangled.
"Holy shit," I said again. I was cloned – Rodney was going to have red-headed bastard stone-age step-children running around. For once I saw part of something coming. "Uh, let's not. At least not for a few years."
"That is …."
"Evil. Yeah, I know." Then I had a thought. I still had a sample somewhere in cold storage. There might still be the chance of tall, proud Nixtahuec hunters whose feet dragged on the ground when they rode their Jubjubs or tried to get the things to actually fly. "Uh, on second thought, maybe later. After he's had some of this. And we're back on Atlantis."
They had a space set up for us on the other side of the fountain. Rodney, Zelenka, Katie, and Lorne were already sitting. There were several baskets of fruit set out and clay cups, and when Rodney saw me carrying a gourd he bounded to his feet. "Ooo, I'll take that," he said and reached twitchy fingers for it.
I held on fast and just grinned wickedly. "I'll pour the first round," I said and really, really wished I had some of those bubble-gum cigars to hand out. Maybe when we get back to Atlantis I can order some for the next supply drop – squeeze it in between the request for ketchup and hand grenades. Rodney just shrugged and sat back down between Radek and Katie. As I filled cups I said, "Major, tell Morales and Ferguson they can stand down for the night. I think we'll be safe here. Oh, and tell them to keep ogling down to a minimum – after all, we are guests."
"Yes, sir," Lorne said and popped to his feet almost as fast as Rodney did a moment ago.
I finished filling all the cups and that killed about half the gourd. I sat and took my first sip and honey, flowers, and cantaloupe filled my sinuses. Oh yeah, as good and smooth as I remembered. I glanced over at Zelenka as he took his first drink. He swished it around in his mouth and his eyebrows rose nearly to his receding hairline. "So, what dya think?"
Zelenka frowned but he was nodding his head in approval. "Is … palatable," he said and pushed his glasses up. Then he took a bigger drink. "Yes, yes, I may concede, but must sample more to be sure." Then he lifted his cup in a salute and said, "Here's to glory of scientific process."
We all raised our cups in reply.
Lorne and the Marines - both tall strapping kids barely in their twenties - got back in time for the toast and took a seat as far from me as they could in the crowded space. If the twins show up later they were going to be in big trouble.
I glanced around and saw some of our party hadn't shown up yet. I tapped my earpiece. "Hey, Carson. Dinner will be starting soon. Are you able to make it?"
"Aye, we will," he replied. He sounded tired. "Where are we tae be?"
"We're set up by the fountain. Can't miss us."
"We'll be up shortly. Beckett out." A few minutes later I saw the lift doors open from where I sat and Carson, Carrie, and Jamie – that's his name – all looked absolutely beat as they came down the hall. He sat down heavily next to me and I just handed them all cups without a word. "Thank you," Carson said and took a hesitant sniff. Then he took a sip and sighed from his toes. "Ah, definitely what the doctor ordered."
"Bad?" I asked quietly. Teyla was sitting on my left and she leaned forward in concern.
"Aye. Xili, the mother, is going tae be fine, but we lost the babe." His voice was barely above a whisper.
"I am sorry," Teyla said, and when that comes from her you know it's genuine.
Carson rubbed his eyes then ran his hand down his face. "Was for the better, really – the poor wee lad had the worst cleft palate I've ever seen. He wouldn'tae lived long had he gone full term."
I just put a hand on Carson's shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze. "Food should be here shortly. Rest, relax, drink up. You're with friends."
"I don't know how much I'll eat," he said. He held up his cup. "This is quite good."
"Will Shadow be joining us?" Teyla asked.
"No – he's going to sit with Xili," Carson replied. "That lad knows his way around an Ancient medical lab, that's for sure. Once he got his wind back he was making us look bad." Then he leaned forward and lowered his voice again. "We never got the chance tae see how he stopped the bleeding – everything happened too fast after that. I tried to find any reference in the database but couldn't."
The food started showing up then and interrupted us. "I bet Rodney could help with a search later," I said, then I was distracted by the smell of roasted Jubjub. "Later," I repeated.
Carson nodded and his eyes got wide as two half-naked giggling women set right in the middle of all of us a plank the size of a dinner table leaf that was mounded with steaming meat. Then one proceeded to refill our cups before disappearing with the empty gourd. It was soon replaced, however, followed by baskets of flat bread and we all dug in. And the Jubjub was just as tasty as before. I glanced over at Rodney and saw he was bright red and ignoring the natives. Katie was trying really hard not to be amused at his discomfort, but was losing the battle. Teyla and I were pretty blasé about the whole thing, being as we've seen this before, but the rest of the group was doing an awful lot of staring. By the time the second gourd was emptied they were loosening up, however.
At one point I saw the lift open and Kintu came out. He smiled happily at me as he went by, then a few minutes later he and a woman went back with several baskets piled high with food. They both came back right away, empty handed, and joined the group on the other side of the fountain.
After we decimated the food, Carson and his people called it an early night – they were all pretty wiped out from the day's events and needed to pack all their equipment up in the morning. Teyla led a very giggly Katie away not too much later. I sat there and frowned at Rodney until he noticed, and when he did he shrugged and mouthed, what? I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. The man's a genius, can MacGyver nukes out of cafeteria leftovers and Legos if need be, but he doesn't know crap about women. He could have seen her safely to her room, make a nice impression, but no – he just sat there having a drunken argument with Radek about whether or not ionization or controlled radiation can enhance the distillation process.
I relaxed and helped polish off a fourth gourd before I decided to call it a night. By now most of Radek's arguments were in Czech but that didn't seem to stop Rodney from arguing right back. Hell, I think unconsciousness is the only thing that stops Rodney from arguing, now that I think about it. Lorne and the boys had behaved themselves – I think it was more out of fear of me that day than anything else – and were watching the two scientists with some amusement. "Will you make sure those two get poured into a bunk somewhere?" I said as I got to my feet. It took a couple tries.
"Yes, sir," Lorne said. "You do know where the bunks are?"
"Third floor," I said and he nodded. Then I saw Lorne's eyes widen a little and a second later the two Marines' jaws dropped open. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, turned my head, and there were the twins standing by the fountain, arm in arm. Ah, right on time, I thought. Boys, you're in trouble now. But then I realized they weren't checking out the new meat.
They were checking out me.
I swallowed hard. The look they were giving me right now made me feel like I was a double cheeseburger and they had been eating nothing but MRE's for the last six months. "Oh boy," I said under my breath as my brain attempted to short circuit all logic and just let the libido take over. They took a step forward and I broke out in a sweat and took an involuntary step back.
Then the Marines saved me from having to explain any embarrassing sprains to Carson in the morning by being gentlemen and standing up in the presence of the ladies. Now Ferguson was almost as tall as Ronon and the second he rose to his full height the twins focused on him and smiled. The wattage of their combined dimples worked damn near as good as a stunner on the poor kid. I took that opportunity to do an about face, and as I walked off I heard Rodney say to Zelenka, "Oh look – it's the Size Matters Twins."
As I walked down the hall to the lift I ran a hand down my face then held it over my mouth to block a sudden laugh. Why do I have a sneaky suspicion my clone has been a very bad boy? Or is that a very good boy? Oh jeez – that was almost too embarrassing to contemplate. I stepped into the lift and just before the doors closed I saw one of the twins look my way and pout. The libido gave a last ditch twinge in reply and I was glad I was the only one in the lift at the moment as I hit the controls. A few seconds later the doors opened to a sight that instantly brought up memories that pretty much killed my hard-on before it could get too uncomfortable.
I walked cautiously into the foyer and glanced around. The fountain and the reed matting on the floor was the same, but there were a lot fewer tapestries than before. The oldest had been taken down and the entryways to the halls and stairwells were now open instead of hidden. To the right would be the Guardian's quarters. To the left was where we stayed the last time. I took a moment at the fountain to splash some cool water on my face before I went into the hall. I paused briefly at the first door I came to and wondered if that fur was still draped over the bed. I almost opened it, but then just backed away and kept right on going.
A/N: Fear not, the next chapter is mostly Sheppard and Shadow!
