AN: Yes, I know. I know it took a really, really, really, really, really...long time to update (for me, at least). But at least I have the chapter done!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
He knew. James knew more than he let on, and he definitely knew enough to distract him from going after Lily. He saw everything. All the "innocent" touches, the glassy eyed stares. There was no way he could not notice. Sirius was forgiven. Everything was back to normal. Almost.
Because of that, it came as no shock when James saw a folded piece of paper lying on Remus's bed. That was not the shocking part though. The real shock came from what was written in the parchment. And that it was lying in plain view of some people that are not supposed to read it.
And of course, being the loyal friend James was, he read the note. Not that he was nosy or that he pryed into other people's buisnesses for better or worse. He just read and heard things that he was not entirely sure that he was supposed to know. On purpose. That doesn't make someone nosy, right?
This folded parchment however couldn't be ignored. James could not just glance at it and move on, not knowing what it said. So, he picked it up. However, he could not just pick it up. He had to open it. And by opening it, he realized that he was definately not supposed to read it in that it contained private information no one should know. So, he read it anyways.
Hi,
I'm just writing to myself right now to hopefully clear up some confusion. You see, I'm a guy. And I like someone. Who is also a guy. And I know a lot about prejudice. About people not accepting others for their differences. Or for things that no one can control. It's like I'm a magnet for problems. Everything unavoidable, bad, and uncurable that would exist, comes to me. And it's not like I want any of it. It's not like I want to be a werewolf. I can't control if I get bitten by a savage beast and turn into one myself once a month. I can't control that I'm gay either, although I'd like to think that I could. And yet, through all of this, I wouldn't have it any other way. It would be a little better to not go through my transformations once a month, but that's just part of me. And, it made me realize what loyal friends I really have. They didn't run away screaming when they found out about me. But this is different. I'm in love. I'm in love with my best friend. And if I tell him, than I risk our friendship. I risk everything he has done for me or accepted about me. And I don't know what to do. His name is Sirius Black.
Yes. I know what everyone is thinking (not that everyone or even anyone is going to read this letter). I'm just another name to his list. Another name of people who like him, and then got their hearts broken. Because Sirius Black, never has and most probably never will have a steady relationship. He hasn't been with a girl for more than a week, and he definately has never been with a guy (that I know of). And yet, I can't help myself. I can't help falling in love with him. Even knowing that if we do go out (not that we will. He's straight. Straight people don't date people of the same gender), my heart's going to break in less than a week. But I can't bring myself to regret falling in love with him. He's just perfect.
Everything about him is. I love the way his hair shines in the sun. How it always manages to look perfect. Nothing's ever wrong with his hair, no matter what he does to it. He jumped into the lake once, and he came out five minutes later, soaking wet and dripping water on the ground. And if it was possible, he looked even better. His grey eyes were bright with excitement. His eyes. I could write pages about his eyes. They are a stunning shade of blue-grey. I could just stare into his eyes and never look away, if only he wouldn't ask why. After he always accomplishes some prank, his eyes light up and he's completely happy. And his smiles are contagious. No one can see Sirius Black smile without smiling also. And he's the only one who can make me laugh or cheer me up. No matter what happened, if he's there, I feel like everything is going to be okay.
James was almost in tears when he finished reading it. I never realized that Remus loved Sirius that much!
And, another one of James's qualities was that he interfered with people's problems. If he heard something, he did something about it. If Sirius loves Remus also, than I'm going to make him do something!
First, he had to talk to Sirius. If Sirius wasn't going to admit to James about loving Remus by himself, than he would have to go to extreme measures. And it would not be pretty. For Sirius, at least.
AN: That was really fun to write. In some weird way. I can't wait to post the next chapter! I almost feel sorry for Sirius...
