CHAPTER 3
"PANCAKES!" Sapphire shouted in her treecko's face. Gold had eased up and gave her a ride home. Once in her room she released Treecko to decide what to name it. "Now and forever you shall be- PANCAKES!" Pancakes just stared at her in wide- eyed confusion.
(What the hell's a pancake? And are you smokin' something or just incredibly stupid?)
"I'm glad you like it!" Saph said misinterpreting what Pancakes said.
"TIME TO START THE JOURNEY BITCHES!" Ruby shouted from outside as he and Terry ran past Sapphire's house. Saph poked her head out the window to see what was going on.
"Hey... those are the idiots from this morning... TAKE THIS YOU SONS OF BITCHES!" Saph pulled the lamp off of her desk and tossed it at Ruby's head. He collapsed on the ground.
"OW! DANG! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Ruby said getting back up. He shook the glass shards out of his hair and kept on fleeing with Terry.
"DAMN IT! That boy has a forehead of steel! Next time I'll throw a knife... WHAT THE FUCK!?" Two police cars were chasing after Ruby and Terry. One kept on going after them but the other accidentally skidded into her house. The shockwave it sent nearly knocked her out of the window. She caught herself just in time and rushed downstairs. Gold and Crystal came out of their room to see what happened. Gold was in his boxers with his pants around his ankles but Crystal was butt naked.
"BOYS! WHAT DID YOU-?" Crystal began. Gold and Silver junior stuck their heads out of their room.
"Whatever it is, we didn't do it!" Silver said before closing the door.
"Oh. What the hell are you staring at?" The police officers came out of the car. One was staring at Crystal's uh... chesticles...
"Such big titties..." Gold pimp slapped him across the face.
"She's mine! Now tell me what's going on so I can go back to hitting that ass with my flyswatter!"
"Is that a new innuendo for penis?" The other (and possibly homosexual) cop asked.
"No. I'm really hitting that ass with a flyswatter..." Gold said pulling out said flyswatter. "It's this sex game we do every Wednesday and-."
"Disturbing my tiny little mind!" Sapphire said covering her ears. She unfortunately saw and heard everything that just happened. "God! You've been saying stuff like that since I was four! Damn it!" she said storming back upstairs.
"Okay... so back to you two. What do you two want?"
"We were chasing after these two little boys," the (now completely) gay said. "One was an innocent angel who had this flare of insanity in his eyes. He was so cute... Oh! And the other was this foreign little darling who had an ass like a bulgy mountain top... Did you see where they went?"
"Uh... can you be more specific?"
"Huh? I could not have been clearer!"
"Uh... kids with cute flares of insanity in their eyes and bulgy asses are hard to come by... but if we see them we'll let you know..." The gay cop wrote something on his notepad and handed it to Gold. "A liability waiver?"
"Yes. We're not responsible for our car crashing through your house."
"But it's all your fault!"
"According to that we're not. Have a nice day sir, madam." He climbed out of the big hole in the wall. "Come along Bertram!" he called to his perverted partner.
"But those titties- They need me!"
"Now Bertram!"
"Fine... but mark my words!" He said pointing to Gold. "Your wife's huge tittie balls will be mine!"
"Why do I feel like both my mind and my wallet just got raped?" Gold asked.
"Who cares? Let's just get back to the flyswatter thing..."
"Hey... you know what's weird?"
"What?"
"I didn't know they let gay people into the police..."
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Extremely short. But I really wanted to put something up before the holidays. Even if it was one of the most retarded things I've ever written. Oh well... REVIEW OR DIE! Oh and Merry Christmas. Or if you're Jewish, Happy Hanukkah. If you're an African (not American, damn it!), Merry Kwanzaa. And if you're an atheist, FUCK YOU! YOU TOOK THE CHRIST OUT OF CHRISTMAS, YOU NEO YUPPY SONS OF BITCHES!
