Thunderbirds and the Tracy Family are the creation of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson

ejb: Ok, when are the boys going to be sent out on another rescue? I take your point that that is what they're supposed to do but you must remember that the point of this story is what happens when one of them is seriously injured and takes a while to recover. I have pointed out before that this is a detailed look into the recovery process and Scott has suffered a brain injury and invasive brain surgery, you just don't get up and walk away from that in a matter of days of even weeks. I have wanted to make this a realistic recovery and to show the affect it has on the rest of the family, most of all, his father, who has to make decisions regarding IR. Jeff Tracy has always been strong and decisive but he is, after all, only human and he has nearly lost his sons on many an occasion. I wanted to show, too, what happens if, just for once, he decides he wants to put his sons first, the dilemmas he faces. I wanted to show him, as not only Commander-In-Chief, but as a father as well. And, believe it or not, although this story has been going for some time, for Scott and his family it has only been 3 ½ weeks since his surgery, a short time in the scheme of things and not really that long for International Rescue to be offline. With this story I wanted to focus on the family unity, the bond they have that pulls them through adversity, that too, is part of the appeal of the series. I'm sorry if you feel disappointed, though I can tell you that John is preparing to head back to TB5 should his father decide to bring IR back on line.

Chapter 56

Jeff Tracy entered at his son's invitation and crossed the room to his bedside. "Well Son, how are you feeling? Did you get a good rest?" he asked with fatherly concern.

"Yeah Dad, thanks…I did….I feel good," was his eldest son's reply, to which Jeff nodded. Scott could tell his father seemed slightly uncomfortable, as if not knowing how to approach a certain subject or where to start.

"And you Jenna……are you Ok?" Jeff asked, turning his attention to her. "Gordon told us what happened down at the lagoon earlier," he added with the same note of fatherly concern.

"Yes…thanks Jeff….I'm all right. Guess that's what comes of being curious and thinking everything is sweet and adorable. I'm just grateful Gordon recognised the danger….I owe him my life," Jenna acknowledged.

"Yeah…we all are," Scott agreed with a note of relief, giving her a warm smile. "Well Dad…I guess you want to talk to me about International Rescue," he surmised.

"Well…hmmm….yes…em….I was Son," Jeff admitted and not really knowing where to start.

"Scott….you know I don't want you putting any pressure on yourself over this. I want you to just concentrate on yourself…..to getting well," Jenna reminded him gently, speaking now purely from her nurse's point of view.

"Jenna's right Son. The priority is to get you strong and well….and I certainly don't want to put you under any pressure. I just wanted to run something by you….to see how you felt," Jeff stated, letting him know he was thinking of his son's welfare.

"Well sure Dad….but there's something I want to tell you first. Say….why don't you come and sit down," Scott responded intimating the chair beside the bed.

Jeff made his way to the empty chair on his son's left side, wondering what it was he wanted to share with him first, perhaps he had been thinking of a solution already. He didn't have to wonder long as he observed his son reach out his hand to Jenna and her readily take it to come and join him at his side on the bed.

"Dad…I guess you know already that I have some feelings for Jen," Scott began slowly, turning to give her a tender smile before turning back to his father. "Well…those feelings go deep…very deep. Jen told me about the conversation up in your office…told you that she loves me….well…fact is Dad….I love her too….I love her a lot….more than my own life," he added, gazing at her and giving her hand a squeeze as if to confirm his love, to which she gave him a loving smile. He turned back to his father who listened in silence. "And…when Jen's contract is finished, when I'm as well as I'm gonna be….when Mike releases me….well Dad….I've asked Jen to stay with me…here…on the island," he stated, just to make sure his father was in no doubt where he meant. "And she's agreed…..we want to be together, Dad…..and….if we can't be together here….then….we'll be together somewhere else," Scott further stated, letting his father know he was not asking his permission but telling him his intentions. He once again turned to her, smiled and squeezed her hand.

That last statement came as a bit of a surprise, not only to Jeff but to Jenna as well, making her realise just how serious he was about her now. She had to smile to herself when she thought of how she had to convince him in the first place of the depth of her love and now he was stating his.

Jeff had had an inkling of his son's feelings, though didn't realise they ran quite so deeply; now he was left in doubt at all. He had to allow himself a smile at the depth of passion with which he spoke and, indeed, not only that, but the confident, self-assured manner in which he delivered his ardent speech. He realised now what John meant when he had said that Jenna had done a lot to build Scott up emotionally over these past weeks and, although, he could see evidence of the former Scott surfacing, a man who had his own definite thoughts and opinions, he could also see in his son a deep inner peace and calm that had not been there before. It had not escaped his notice either that Jenna, a young woman of strong opinions and not averse to speaking her mind, had been content to let Scott do the talking for both of them, telling him that this couple were very much in love and that she was happy for him to take charge.

He smiled to himself as he thought of the deep love he had for his own beloved Lucille and knew she would approve of this young woman who had stolen their eldest son's heart so completely that he was prepared to give up everything he knew to be with her. How could he deny his son the same happiness that he had known, or indeed any of his sons. It was never his intention that they should go through life lonely and miserable.

"I see," Jeff mused, still taking in the information his son had presented him with. "Well…you're right…I did know how Jenna felt and….I guessed you had feelings for her too. I just didn't realise quite how deep they went….but you've made yourself perfectly clear, Son," he continued, as the couple waited to hear what his reaction would be. "Well…I've just got two things to say….for one… I'd like to think you know how we've come to feel about you Jenna….how fond we've all become of you since you've been with us," Jeff announced, addressing himself directly to her and making her feel embarrassed. "And for another…..there's no question of you having to go anywhere, young man," he stated, now turning to Scott. "Son, I've only ever wanted you to be happy and if this is what makes you happy…..if this is what you both want…..then, of course, you have my blessing."

The relief and joy on their faces was evident, smiling happily to each other like two kids who had gotten exactly what they wanted in their Christmas stocking. Scott had had no wish to go against his father but nor was he prepared to loose Jenna either. "Well..yeah..thanks Dad. We appreciate that," Scott responded sincerely.

Jenna rose from her place beside him and went around the bed to spontaneously give Jeff an affectionate hug. "Yes, thank you Jeff….it means a great deal to us," she added, causing him to cough a little embarrassingly. The gesture both amused and delighted Scott, letting him see just how fond she had become of his father.

"Yes…well…uh..um….," Jeff flustered and wondered would his son still be as pleased with their next topic of conversation. He looked to Jenna as she made her way back to his son's side.

"Guess you want to tell me now about your plans for International Rescue, Dad," Scott ventured, as he offered his hand out to Jenna to come and sit by him and, having noted how his father seemed reluctant to start on the subject. "Jenna stays, Dad….we have no secrets from each other," he said firmly, smiling and grasping her hand, letting his father know they were well and truly a couple.

Jeff nodded. There was no point engaging his son in an argument for he had made his intentions clear, that he wanted this woman to be a part of his life, all of his life. "Well…I have been thinking…..about getting International Rescue operational again….but I wanted to talk to you first, Son…to know if you would be happy enough about that decision…..I don't want to do anything that would set back your recovery…..I'm prepared to stay off-line for as long as it takes, Son….I want you to know that," Jeff stated, wanting his son to know just how important he was to him.

Scott was genuinely touched by his father's gesture. "Gee Dad…I appreciate that….but I think we both know that International Rescue needs to be operational again and soon. Have you….thought about how you'll manage?" Scott asked, sensing that this was just as hard for his father having to operate International Rescue without him as it was for him to listen to and know he was going to be excluded, at least for now.

Jeff nodded rather reluctantly, though with a great deal of pride in his son, knowing how hard it was for him to admit that and the fact he was putting the needs of the organisation before himself. "Well….I could send John back up to Five….day after tomorrow….get all the systems back on-line…make sure everything's working as it should….then….in the short term….Alan can fly One and relay information back here to base…to Brains and myself…if there are any problems he can't handle out there," Jeff told him. That was the easy part for Jeff still hoped and prayed that Scott's recovery would be complete, Mike having told him it would take, at least, six weeks, although he would still like to see him periodically for check-ups.

Scott nodded in obvious agreement, it being a decision he would have made himself but now came the difficult contemplation for both of them. "And…in the long term?" he asked. Jenna felt him grip her hand that bit tighter and she returned a reassuring squeeze, giving him a smile of encouragement. "If this arm of mine turns out to be permanently useless?" he continued, knowing his father would have been thinking along those lines and considering his different options, knowing, too, it wouldn't have been easy for him. "Were you gonna put me up on Five…swap places with John," he ventured in a light-hearted manner but on seeing his father's reaction, his gaze dropping to the floor, he realised it had been a serious consideration. "You were, weren't you? You were seriously considering that!" Scott asked.

"I'm sorry, Son….I was just trying to think of the most logical thing to do," Jeff explained and hoping he was not going to cause him any upset.

"Jeff…I'm sorry….but in my professional capacity I would have had to strongly advise against that option. Psychologically….the emotional and physical isolation would not be good for Scott.

Jeff chuckled, causing both of them to give him a puzzled look. "That point has already been made….along with a few others…..in a very passionate and eloquent argument," Jeff acknowledged, as he thought of the conversation with John the night before.

Scott knew straight away that had to be John and wished he could have been there to hear his brother's impassioned plea on both their behalves. Jeff confirmed his guess.

"Yes….he made me see it wasn't an option for either of you," Jeff admitted.

"So what now, Dad? Anymore thoughts?" Scott asked, appreciating the difficult position his father was in.

"Well…I had thought perhaps….if you were agreeable…..that you might ride desk for a while and I would take One out…..do a spell at Field Commander…..while we train Alan up a bit more…..then you could continue to stay here at base…..we could sure use your expertise, Son…..you could help direct operations from here," Jeff replied, knowing in his heart, though, that any option for his son, without flying, was going to be hard to take.

"You Dad! Operate as Field Commander!" Scott repeated, trying to keep the grin from his face after almost choking.

"Something wrong with that idea? You think I couldn't handle it?" Jeff responded gruffly, his face set in a heavy frown.

Jenna tried not to smile, averting her gaze to the floor. This was an obvious matter of male macho pride and something she decided she should stay well out of.

"Why no…..I'm sure you could, Dad," Scott returned, though Jeff didn't seem to think too convincingly.

"And just who do you think taught you young bucks all you know and how to fly these craft?" Jeff challenged.

"Why…you did Dad," his son replied, feeling somewhat amused that his father was getting more than a little riled at the suggestion he might be over the hill.

"And don't you forget it….why….I could still fly you boys under the table any day," Jeff retorted, taking personal pride in his boast.

"Yeah….sure you could, Dad," Scott responded, in a tone Jeff found to be rather placatory. Within a few moments, though, both men had burst into laughter as Jeff realised he was being caught up in a personal rivalry with his son. "No but seriously, Dad….it is a stressful job….and I don't want you putting yourself under any more stress….not on my account," Scott added, the concern he felt apparent.

"I know what you're saying, Son….and I appreciate it….but what else can I suggest….short of you riding shotgun with Alan……letting Alan fly One and helping you set up Mobile Control….but I don't suppose you would want to consider that option," Jeff replied, knowing his son only too well.

Scott shook his head. "Be a passenger in my own ship! Watch someone else fly her," he responded quietly, as Jenna gave him a comforting smile and squeezed his hand. "You know I couldn't do that, Dad," he added sadly, to which Jeff just nodded in silent affirmation.

"So, have you any other alternatives?" his father asked, unable to see any other solutions right at this point. The knowing look that now suddenly passed between his son and Jenna instantly told him his son was about to drop another bombshell. He looked warily from one to the other.

"Well….as a matter of fact, Dad……you know that guy I've been reading about….the guy with the artificial legs…..," Scott started, then went on to explain what he intended to do.

Jeff's eyes grew wider as he listened to his son's incredulous solution until he eventually got to his feet and began pacing up and down. "No, NO….I absolutely forbid it……I'm not going to let you do it, Son……not for me….not for International Rescue….there's got to be another way," his father blustered, trying to get his head round what his son had just told him. "Do your brothers know what you're planning to do?" he asked, wondering what they would make of such a thing, to which Scott shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Dad but it's not down to you….and it's for me….so that I can function again. You think I wanna be helped with my equipment….like…like some invalid……," Scott retorted rather heatedly.

"That's enough you two," a voice suddenly sounded. "If you can't discuss this quietly and sensibly then I'm going to have to call a halt to this little discussion…..I am not going to risk you getting another headache, Scott," Jenna said, glaring from one to the other.

Feeling suitably admonished, like two arguing school kids, father and son eyed each other warily, neither willing to back down.

"It's….it's just…so extreme, Son," Jeff remarked, this solution never having entered into his equation.

"Dad….don't you think I haven't thought all this through," Scott replied more calmly and knowing that it must have come as a bit of a shock to his father. "But just think about it for a moment…..with the touch sensitivity that Brains could give me….I could still fly One….operate Mobile Control…..do all the things I used to do…..I can be independent, Dad….I just wanna be able to function….and International Rescue can go on as it was," he finished, making it all seem fairly simple and logical.

"And what do you make of all this, Jenna? Surely you can't agree to this," Jeff asked, as though expecting her to be an ally and agree with him.

Now why did she suddenly feel like she had become the referee in a very contentious game, with both parties looking to her and expecting her to side with them. On one side she had a father to whom she had become very fond, the man to whom she was under contract, in fact, her employer and on the other! On the other was the man she loved most dearly in all the world, a man she would follow to the farthest ends of the earth, the man who now looked to her with expectant hope in his face that she would continue to support him and stand by him.

"Well…I agree it does seem rather extreme," she admitted, as she addressed Jeff, who began to feel that, perhaps, she could make him see sense. "But….we have talked this over….and if Scott feels this is the right thing for him to do….then I have promised him I will stand by him and support him in his decision," she added, holding his hand firmly and gazing at him with all the love in her heart.

Jeff realised he had just lost an ally but he also realised something else, perhaps something more important. His son had found someone who would stay by his side through the direst circumstances, support him, if necessary, in his most drastic decision and a woman who would give her all to ensure his son's happiness.

"But of course…this is only as a last resort. He has promised me he's not going to do anything hasty, Jeff…..isn't that right….Mr Tracy?" she continued, firstly looking at Jeff then turning to Scott, playfully prodding him and making him laugh and making Jeff smile at the obvious easy-going relationship they seemed to have already developed.

"And when would we know for sure, Jenna? I have read your latest report but is there anything more you can tell us?" Jeff inquired hopefully.

"No, I'm sorry, Jeff….everything's still the same. Of course it is still early days yet…as I've told Scott but I would think in another month…if there's still no feeling….we would go over to the mainland and see Mike…..he could determine if the brain tissue has healed completely…run some tests to know if it's going to be permanent and….take it from there," she concluded as honestly as she could.

"And in the meantime…..," Jeff surmised, as if resigned to the fact.

"In the meantime, Dad….guess Alan takes One out….and when Mike releases me…..I'll…I'll ride desk with you and give Alan all the help I can from here….but if you're really itchin to take One out for a burn, Dad…..well, I guess I can hold the fort for you a time or two. But only until I get back in the way of things…..then I'll want my Bird back…because one way or another, Dad….I'm gonna fly again," Scott told him, as a slow grin lit up his face and with such self-assured confidence that his father believed his son was capable of achieving anything he set his mind to.

"I…believe…you will at that, Son," Jeff acknowledged, barely able to get the words out for the emotion that he felt. He thought he had already seen the height of his son's bravery, grit and determination when he witnessed him take his painful first steps but he hadn't figured on the lengths his son was prepared to go to, to get his life back. "I…I don't believe I've ever heard of a braver decision and I just want you to know how proud I am of you, Son," his father added quietly. "I just hope you never have to make that decision."

"So do I Dad…so do I….and…I'm not brave…if you wanna know the truth, Dad…..I'm scared……but I guess what scares me more is the thought of givin up….and rollin over and dyin inside," Scott confessed, as he looked to Jenna. He had no wish to feel like that, not now that she had given him purpose and motivation, not now that she had made him feel alive. Jenna lifted his hand, pressing his fingers to her lips in a gesture of love.

"Son, it takes a brave man to admit he's scared," Jeff said quietly.

"Dad, you're one of the bravest men I know and not scared of anything," Scott remarked, the pride he felt in his father obvious.

Jeff Tracy shook his head. "That's where you're wrong, Son….I've been scared about plenty of things. I said it takes a brave man to admit to it….I've never admitted to being scared," Jeff confessed.

"Well…you just have, Dad," Scott reminded his father, causing both men to laugh. "And what is it you've been scared of?" he asked, not being able to imagine his father being afraid of anything.

A wistful smile crossed Jeff's face as he went back through his memories. "The first time I held you in my arms, my first born son….I was scared," Jeff told him with a little laugh. "I was scared I would drop you….scared of not knowing what to do with you….scared of not making a good father," he added, a little more sadly. "I was scared when I lost Lucille…scared of facing life without her…..I was scared of the responsibility of bringing up five boys, so I buried myself in my work….and I left you with the responsibility, Son…and I'm sorry," Jeff apologised. Scott reached out and grasped his father's arm in a reassuring gesture and Jeff responded with a weak smile as he clamped his hand over his son's.

"I was scared the first time I went into space….so scared I threw up in the john before we went to the launch pad….eh….no one knows that by the way, so I would appreciate it if you kept that to yourselves…or I'll just deny everything, of course," Jeff admitted with a sheepish grin, causing Scott and Jenna to try to stifle a laugh. "I was scared when I first set up IR….afraid of what was ahead…wondering if I'd done the right thing. I was scared I'd asked too much of you boys….you all had careers, lives of your own. I was scared…I'd left it too late to be a father to you boys….afraid that you didn't need me any more….afraid that you wouldn't want me in your lives," Jeff admitted, the emotional pain in his voice evident as he shared his deep feelings.

"Hey…that's not true, Dad. We'll always need you….and sure we want you in our lives," Scott assured him. "And…you were the best father you knew how to be," his son added sincerely for which he received a smile and a pat on the hand. As Scott observed his father and then turned to look at Jenna he realised now how much losing his mother had meant to his father. He knew how he would feel if he ever lost Jenna, wondered how he would cope and indeed, he had almost lost her that very afternoon, a very sobering thought. He wondered, too, how he would have fared as a father and then realised, that for the first time in his life he had the very real chance of finding out, surprising himself somewhat at where that sudden crazy notion had come from.

"I've been scared every time a call comes through to say one of you boys has been injured….and I'm scared every time that alarm goes off and I have to send you boys out on another call," he continued to confess.

"And you want me to sit behind that desk and worry about you," Scott quipped light-heartedly, causing both men to laugh, Scott feeling, that now, he had a new insight into his father and a newfound respect.

"Let me fix you two a coffee. I'm sure you could do with one," Jenna offered, deciding it was time to be a little discreet and let them have a private moment. Jeff responded with a 'Thank-you, that would be good'.

"Yeah thanks, Jen," Scott replied with a grateful smile.

Jenna took her time over making the coffee and found herself wiping away a tear on having turned and witnessing father and son in an emotional embrace. "Here you are," she offered, as she handed Jeff his coffee.

He noted how lovingly attentive she was to his son in, first, bringing the table over to him and then making sure he could reach and manage his coffee before sitting down to her own. He smiled to himself, knowing now he would not have to worry about his son's future happiness for it seemed that was all pretty much taken care off. He only hoped the rest of his sons would fare equally as well when it came to them finding a life's partner.

"Tell us about those first times you went up into space, Jeff….please," Jenna pleaded with the innocence of a fascinated child.

"Yeah..sure Dad….tell us….did you throw up every time before you went up?" Scott grinned cheekily.

"You youngsters have just no idea of what those early days were like…the boundaries we pushed….well...…let me tell you……," Jeff reiterated and began to tell them the exploits of his early space career as they drank their coffee. "…….and that's how it was back then. You kids have it so easy because of what we achieved," he finished, with Scott giving him a wry, 'Sure we do, Dad'. "Well, I'd better let you get some rest," Jeff said, noticing his son looked tired. "Do you want me to help you to the john….eh…bathroom, Son?" he offered, correcting himself and remembering his manners this time.

"Yeah, thanks Dad….I'd appreciate that," Scott replied, smiling at his father's slip of the tongue.

After helping him back to bed Jeff took his leave and on seeing Scott settled for the night Jenna fell into grateful sleep, the excitement of the day having caught up on her. In the early hours of the morning, though, Scott was awakened by a sound he hadn't heard before, heartfelt cries and the sound of distressed breathing.

"Nooo…tell…him….tell….tell…..Scott….I..will…always…love…him….love…him…Scott….Scott…"

Rubbing his eyes and trying to shake himself into wakefulness he turned automatically to where Jenna was sleeping in the next bed. "Jen!" Scott whispered as, in the soft light of the moonlit filled room, he noted her tossing and clutching at her chest, her breathing becoming more laboured. He became instantly concerned, realising she was probably dreaming about her close encounter. "Jen!" he called more loudly but to no avail and unable to see her in distress he knew he had to go to her.

Without thinking Scott pushed himself up on his right arm and turned to his left, realising, too late, in his effort to get to her that he had pushed himself too far. Now off balance and with no feeling in his left arm to reach out and steady himself, the inevitable happened. He felt himself falling. "Damn this arm," he swore to himself.