CHAPTER 5
Terry and Ruby had charged their way into Oldale Town with Sapphire on their tails. Terry ran ahead of Ruby and Sapphire. He found an abandoned alley out of the corner of his eye and immediately dove inside. He caught Ruby as he was running by his collar and dragged him in to the shadows.
"Wha- They disappeared?" Saph said confoundedly. "Damn it! They couldn't have gone to far..." She kept on running, oblivious to where her quarries were.
"Holy Golem of the Sand be praised!" Terry sighed. "We-a out run that psycho bitch!"
"Yeah!" Ruby shouted. He walked out of the alley and onto the sidewalk. He confronted a random person and farted in his face. But instead of beating the crap out of him, the man just smiled.
"Hmm... that fart smelled like lilacs..." the man said before going on his merry way.
"Damn it!" Ruby cursed. "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!?" Ruby's outburst was so loud that Sapphire heard him from the other end of the block.
"COME BACK HERE BOUNTY!" She shouted before coming after him.
"Uh-oh... RUN BARRY!"
"TERRY!" Terry corrected as he followed Ruby.
"No one cares! JUST RUN! Wait... IN THERE!" Ruby pointed to the nearby pokemon center. He and Terry charged inside and slammed the double doors behind them. They put their backs against them to stop Sapphire from getting in but they could still feel her pounding on the doors.
"What a predicament you two are in... maybe we can help..." Ruby looked up to find Gold and Silver Junior staring down at them with shady smirks on their faces.
"You two look familiar..." Terry said.
"Whatever," Ruby interrupted. "Listen, we have this psycho bitch after us for no freakin' reason! Is there something you guys can do?"
"Hmm... it seems we're pursuing your pursuer..." Silver muttered. "On three we want you two to move to the sides and we'll take care of your-." Ruby and Terry freaked out and ran away before he even counted. "I said on three damn it! MANGE!"
"SCURVY!" Gold and Silver both released their pokemon, Mange; Silver's Magby and Scurvy; Gold's Elekid (they name their pokemon based on diseases... what? I'm just weird like that alright!). Sapphire busted through the doors but didn't find her targets but her brothers instead.
"Gold? Silver? What are you-?" Gold and Silver cleared their throats at the same time.
"Prepare for trouble!" Silver announced.
"And make it double!" Gold finished.
"To sink the world in eradication!"
"To enslave you all with masturbation!"
"Silver!"
"Gold!"
"Team GS tracks you in the night!"
"Surrender now or you'll surely lose your life!"
"What the hell was that? Was that your new motto or something?" Sapphire asked.
"Yep," Gold Jr. said. "Did it bring fear to your pitiful soul?"
"No... it kind of makes me pity you to be honest. Don't you two have anything better to do?" Sapphire completely forgot that she was under attack and hugged each of her brothers around the neck. "Guys, you know I love you both but you're losers. Go get girlfriends or something so you're not making retarded mottos like that ever again. Now excuse me, I have heads to hunt." She slipped behind them and continued looking for Ruby and Terry.
"Damn! I told you that was retarded!" Silver complained to Gold. "Not only is it stupid, it's used! You just modified the words from that other team. What was it? Team Sprocket? Team Pop It?"
"What? Are you kidding me? That was awesome dude! We're Team GS! We kick ass! NO! We don't kick ass, we kick ass in the balls! We kick ass in the balls in the titties! We kick-." Silver kicked Gold in the (bet you didn't see this coming) balls.
"God, do you ever shut up? I get it already, we rock! Now let's prove it by taking down Saph!"
"My strippers and pole..." Gold wheezed while holding his privates. "Why must the strippers be in pain? They do nothing but bring pleasure to our world..." Gold was rambling on in a pain induced distressed state of mind.
"Damn you're useless... Mange! Smokescreen!" Silver ordered. Mange released a jet of black smoke from its mouth, dimming every light in the room with black fog. Gold finally recovered from the extreme nut kicking.
"Thundershock!" The electric bolt found Sapphire in the darkness and zapped her in the back .I know what its like to be electrocuted now. On the day after Christmas I pulled down some wet Christmas lights and got zapped. The electricity moved up my arms, through my spine, shut off my brain and made me pass out. And that's what basically happened to Sapphire.
"Damn that was easy!" Silver remarked. The smokescreen finally cleared. Ruby and Terry got up from the floor, now relieved.
"Thanks guys," Terry said. "We-a don't know what she would've done if-a you didn't come..."
"So... how're you gonna pay us for it?" Gold asked pulling his hand out, expecting them to fill it.
"You never said anything-." Ruby protested.
"Pay us. Now," Gold threatened.
"We don't have any money..."
"Just take the most valuable thing they have Gold! Dad said we need to get back on the double remember?" Gold scanned Ruby and Terry's persons for anything valuable or interesting. He found it in the gold chain around Ruby's neck. It had a gold pendant on it that looked like a Salamence's head. Gold tried to snatch it off of his neck but Ruby, who's unnaturally happy most of the time, became extremely angry and punched him in the face.
"You'll take this from me when you pry it from my COLD! DEAD! PENIS! YOU HEAR ME YOU LITTLE BITCH!?" Ruby shoved Gold to the ground. He then tucked the chain under his shirt.
"You don't know what you just got yourself into kid," Silver warned.
"Yes I do. I'm dealing with two losers who act tough but aren't really and can't get dates- HOLY CRAP!" Silver had Mange use Fire Blast at Ruby. Ruby ran to the right to dodge it and watched as it made a man shaped hole in the wall. "Uh... nevermind... I think you're plenty tough- and cute too!" Ruby said trying to kiss up to them. "Have you been doing something to your- DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Gold (who was even angrier then Silver) had Scurvy use Thunder. Ruby dodged it once again but the Nurse Joy behind him wasn't so lucky. The attack zapped her to freakin dust!
"OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED NURSE JOY!" Ruby shrieked in complete horror.
"YOU BASTARDS!" Terry shouted at Gold and Silver. He was hiding under a table the whole time. Mange and Scurvy combined their attacks to turn his hiding spot to ash. "UPSTAIRS!" Ruby and Terry sprinted towards the stairs to escape the beams of fire and lightning rocketing towards them. They helped block the doorway by putting a conveniently placed couch in front of the door.
"Wow! That couch was conveniently placed!" Ruby remarked.
"Damn-a you to hell Ruby!" Terry shouted.
"What did I do?"
"It's-a what you didn't do! Why didn't you give them your necklace?"
"There's a complicated story behind that and I feel I should tell you it. It all started-."
"You're gonna tell a story now? With three-a maniacs after us at once?"
"Yes. Now shut your face hole so I can tell the story! Now... it all started when I was four..."
FLASHBACK...
"Daddy! I'm gonna be bestest pokemon master ejer!" Ruby screamed to his father as he ran around in circles in their living room. Prof. Birch was sitting in an armchair reading the newspaper, clearly annoyed with his son's ramblings.
"Bestest and ejer aren't words Ruby. And if you're trying to be the world's best pokemon master ever then you're getting your hopes up. Trainers aren't put into number ranks like first, second and third so there is no way of telling you're the best. And even if there was, there will be someone out there who will exploit your pokemon's weaknesses and beat you no matter how much you fortify your team. Now that I'm done crushing your childhood dream, I'm gonna take a huge crap. Good day son," he said getting from his chair and going upstairs. He left Ruby crying out loud and alone with no one to comfort him.
END FLASHBACK...
"And it doesn't end there. No! Every single time I came to him with a dream, theory, you name it, he disproved it with his precious science," Ruby said the last word with extreme disgust. "The time I wanted to figure out why Magikarp's are orange, the time I tried to fly to the moon on my Ninjask and the time I tried to figure out why white stuff comes out of my weener when I rub it too much, all ruined!"
"Well-a ain't that bitch. A-seriously dude, they're trying to break down the blockade, could you help me out here?"
"SHUT UP! I'm trying to tell a story butthole! Next flashback!"
FLASHBACK 2...
"DADDY! I'm gonna be laser testicle man and-."
"Lasers don't shoot from your testicles! Damn it! Why do you have to be so stupid?" He said before walking to the next room.
"I'm not stupid, you're just- just a..." Ruby sank to the floor, having been defeated once again. He was too depressed to even make fun of his father back. He was just about to cry again when his mom came into the room. She helped him back up to his feet and put the chain around his neck.
"Don't let that butthole of a father bring you down Ruby. You can be whatever you want to be and someday you'll find something that he can't disprove by science. You understand Ruby?"
"Yeah... Does that mean I can be laser testicle man?"
"No."
"Damn it!"
END FLASHBACK
"And then a couple of days after that my Mom got eaten by a pack of rabid Mightyena. That's the whole reason I'm out here, to find something my father can't disprove and avenge my Mommy!" Ruby said triumphantly.
"That was touching and everything but-a in case you hadn't noticed WE ARE GOING TO DIE!" Terry leaped out of the way as Gold and Silver blew up their barricade from downstairs.
"You can run..." Silver said as he walked up the stairs.
"You can hide..." Gold said following suit.
"Because there's nothing you can do..."
"Because once we blow this place up..."
"NO ONE WILL FIND YOU!" The terrible twosome said in malicious unison.
