CHAPTER 16

"Holy crap it's a Negro!" Ruby shouted. He had escaped Petalburg Woods by himself, leaving Sapphire alone and Terry inside of a Feraligatr's stomach (he's fine, trust me). Instead of walking to Rustboro he decided to wait for the bus at the bus stop. There he met a black man.

"Uh... I'm guessing you don't meet a lot of black people, do you, kid?"

"That's right! You're the first black person I've ever seen!"

"Uh... great... My name is Dick. S. Huge."

"I know all of the racial slurs for black people! Wanna hear them?"

"No."

"Too bad! You're hearing them anyway! There's... 925er, abd, Alabama blue gums, albino, Feraligatr bait, Ann, ape, Aunt Jemima, Buffie, colored, coon, crow, darky, Mississippi mud, gable, golliwogg, jiggaboo, Jim Crow, Jim fish, Inkface, Kaffir, Macaca, makak, Mammy, moke, mongrel, monkey, mosshead, munt, mustard seed, Nigger, nigga, napkin nigger, niglet, Oreo, porch monkey, powder burn, quashie, sambo, smoked Irish, sooty, spook, tar baby, teapot, thicklips, uncle Tom and zebra," Ruby said without taking a single breath.

"You racist motherfucker!" Dick said trying to get a hold of Ruby's neck.

"Wait there's more! You should hear what Asians call you guys, like kuronbo and or huge penis jockeys and-." Dick picked Ruby up by his collar and prepared to punch but stopped himself and regained his poseur.

"You do realize that there are racial slurs for white people too, right?" Dick said, his patience wearing thin. If this was gonna be a racist fight then he might as well turn it around.

"Like what?"

"Well... there's cracker and um... vanilla babies and uh..."

"Ha! So what dude? I like eating crackers and vanilla!"

"You're missing the point, you little powdered doughnut!"

"Don't call me a powdered doughnut (also delicious) you tar monkey!"

"Cheese eater!"

"How come you can only come up with food stereotypes, tar monkey?"

"I don't know, that's just how it is with white slurs, you little dandruff skinned asshole!"

"Blackhead!"

"Queenie's little bitch!"

"Elephant feed!"

"Flat booty!"

"USED FARM EQUIPMENT!" That one was the straw that broke the camerupt's back. Dick punched Ruby in the jaw and immediately knocked out one of his teeth. Then a cop suddenly came from behind Dick and put them both in handcuffs.

"What the hell are these for?"

"Both of you are under arrest for hate violence against each other's respective race."

"But I don't hate black people!" Ruby pleaded. "I love everybody! Except French people... those God damn pussies... they should all mount themselves on top of that giant penis they call the Eiffel Tower and have sex with it like the worthless bleeding vaginas that they are!" The cop and Dick stared at him as if he was crazy for a couple of seconds.

"Are you on some kind of drug boy?"

"What are you looking at me for? Blackyboo over there's the one with the crack."

"I'd kill you if I wasn't handcuffed!"

"Shut up! You're both going to jail you racist sons of bitches!"

"Oh shit," Dick and Ruby said at the same time.

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Yes people, I still have a pulse. I haven't submitted anything because of two reasons. 1) I was actually thinking the story through instead of making shit up as I write and I had plenty of time to do that because of reason 2. 2) I really screwed up in school. First I got suspended for punching a kid in the gut (I take anger management now...) and my grades have been falling dramatically so my mom's been taking the mouse out of the computer again. And if that wasn't enough, she found the secret mouse I use when she takes the first one away. It's been what, like a month now since I last wrote something? The next couple of chapters will be really short again (if there's still a keyboard and a mouse to write them with).

Oh and if anybody was offended by the excessive racism in this chapter I apologize. I'm a black male who... is extremely racist. I hate all races (including my own) so it doesn't matter to me who I make fun of in this thing. But since I love reviews with a sexual passion (just kidding... or am I?), if the racism is getting to bad just tell me and I'll stop... I'm such a naughty bastard...

-RTJ (INSIGNIA BITCHES!)