It is very strange that the years teach us patience - that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting— Elizabeth Taylor
Chapter 2
"Oliver? Is everything alright? You have been acting distracted all night."
Ollie's head jerked up as she spoke. He couldn't recall her ever having said his name like that before. It was always clipped or business-like, but never before was it concerned. Oliver wanted to groan and drop his head into his hands. Why did she make it so impossible for him to think coherently? Oliver smiled wryly to himself. His friends from Excelsior and Harvard would laugh to see him now, so head over heels for a girl.
And not just any girl, a reporter. The world had cruel irony.
Chloe was smiling at him, and there was something about that gentle grin that made him relax instantly. She was so beautiful and real, unlike most of the other women he had dated. Even with Lois he had never felt this way, as if he was seeing the real version of the woman. Lois was always holding back probably because she had sensed him holding back as well. But Chloe, well, she was real and it gave him the freedom to be real too.
Finally, he responded with a charming smile, "Of course. I am fine."
Chloe looked dubious at his response, but she did not press him further. She tucked into the chow mien that was in front of her as Ollie desperately tried to think of something to say.
"So how has the Planet been under Lex's reign of terror?"
Chloe smiled at his terminology and said, "Surprisingly subdued, actually. I thought there would be more resistance and longtime reporters resigning in protest, but there has been none of that." She sighed as her eyes darkened in thought. "It is rather depressing actually that we have all just seemed to accept the fact that Lex is turning the Daily Planet into his own personal spin machine. Even Lois has bought into it. She writes pieces that carefully circumvent actually saying anything negative about Lex so she can be published."
Ollie looked at her, his eyes intent on her own. "And you? What do you do?"
"Oh, you mean you haven't been reading my scintillating obituaries and classified ads?" Chloe laughed dryly. "I haven't written any major articles for a while now. One, Lex wouldn't publish them, and two because I haven't been…"
"Haven't been what?"
"Haven't been feeling inspired, I guess," Chloe said. The sadness in her eyes made Oliver feel as though he had been kicked in the gut. There was just so much disappointment there; disappointment in herself, Ollie realized suddenly.
"Well, if you are ever looking for a change I know the Ledger would be happy to have you," Oliver said, trying to keep things light.
"The one in Star City? Hmm, I don't quite think a cross-country move is exactly the answer to my problems." Chloe smiled at him and then returned to eating her noodles.
Oliver smiled in return. Say something, Queen. Tell her why you want her in Star City. Oliver's thoughts ran wild, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He didn't want to ruin the tenuous grasp on friendship that they had at the moment and scare her off. But mostly, he didn't want her eyes to take on that shuttered look they had around Clark.
She would probably be embarrassed that he had noticed but, really there wasn't much about her that he didn't notice, and over the past two years that he had known her he had seen the way she had changed how she looked at Clark. When Ollie had first met her she looked at him with a combination of hero-worship, friendship, and love in her eyes, but now she looked at him with only friendship. At first Ollie had thought she had finally given up on Clark, but he later realized that she did it when he took up with Lana for the millionth time. It was as if Clark had pushed her too far one too many times and there was no way she could go back to the way she saw him before. It was around this time that she began to convince herself that she had true love with Jimmy, rather than the sweet but tepid relationship they did have. Now her eyes got this shuttered effect whenever she spoke about or to Clark.
Oliver knew that he could never risk her looking at him like that, but at what point did he have to just chuck it all and take a risk?
Was there ever really a good time to tell someone that you loved them?
"Where did you go just now?" Chloe asked, her chin resting in her hand and her food long since forgotten.
"I was just thinking about…relationships," Ollie said. Good one Queen, now tell her why. But before he could speak, Chloe cut in.
"I think I understand what's going on," she said with a smile.
"You do?"
"Yep," Chloe said, nodding her head with absolute certainty. "You have a thing for Dinah."
"What?" Ollie managed to choke out.
Chloe smiled her triumphant smile, the one that she always put on after she had solved a puzzle. "I thought there was something different about you since I last saw you. It's Dinah, isn't it? You like her and want a relationship with her, or are already in one, am I right? I noticed she had a little bit of a thing for you when we first met her."
"Chloe," Oliver began, "You have got it all wrong."
"Do I?" She shook her head with a smile. "I don't think so."
Oliver jerked his fingers through his hair in frustration. He so desperately wanted to tell her that she was the one, the only one, that he wanted to be with, but somehow he could not bring the words to the surface. But he needed to explain, he knew that, so he began to speak haltingly. "Look, about Dinah, you were right that something is going on, but it is entirely one-sided. She has let me know that she would be interested in pursuing some sort of relationship with me but I do not feel the same way about her."
Chloe could not understand the reason why, but she seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when he said that. She had been unconsciously pushing him to find out whether or not he was involved with Dinah, and she was happy to know he was not. But why should she feel so relieved? Chloe told herself it was because she still had hope for Oliver getting back together with her cousin, but that idea rang false to her own ears. But there was something that she could not identify going on, and it bothered her that she could not pinpoint her own feelings.
Chloe settled for smiling with bravado. "Well, I wouldn't hold out on her Oliver, I think you two would make a great pair. What could be more romantic than two superheroes who fall in love while trying to save the world." She stood up and walked over to the couch where her bag was. She reached inside and pulled out the chap-stick that was resting in the inside pocket. Uncapping it, she smoothed it across her lips as she looked over at Oliver.
His stomach clenched in response.
But then he smiled sadly. "As romantic and epic as that sounds, I am not interested in living that kind of life. I want to be with someone who knows my secret and can share it with me, but who is somewhat outside of that world. Who contributes, but doesn't always feel the need to risk their life. I can't imagine what it is like to be in a relationship with someone like me, and the only thing more difficult would be for me to be in a relationship like that as well. It would hurt those I am trying to protect in the long run because I would be worried about the one fighting along beside me."
"That's a little unfair, don't you think?" Chloe asked. "You expect someone to be fine about worrying about you, but you won't live that way as well."
"I can't help it; that is just the way I feel." Oliver stood and walked over to Chloe, his presence dwarfing her and forcing her to look up into his penetrating eyes. He reached out and smoothed her hair that had fallen forward behind her right ear. Chloe's fist wrapped tightly around the forgotten lip balm in her hand. "When I think about the future, I would like to be convinced that there is one. I want to be with a woman who I know will be there when I am not. I want kids, and that is something I could never risk if the woman I ended up with was in my line of work. It would just be too selfish. It is bad enough that I might not be there to see my kids grow up, they should be safe in knowing their mother won't be ripped from them as well."
Chloe's throat was dry and her palms were sweaty, but she managed to speak. Her voice was slightly deeper when she did. "Nothing is certain, Oliver. You could outlive the woman you love and she could die of cancer. Some things are just worth the risk. If you really want to be with a woman, you shouldn't let what ifs determine whether or not you take that risk."
"Luckily I do not have to make that choice," Ollie said quietly.
"What do you mean?" Chloe whispered.
Oliver stepped even closer to her, reaching down and running one finger across the top of her hand. It was now or never, and Ollie knew that he didn't want to look back at this moment with regret. "I mean, the woman that I want to be with is not a superhero. She is an intrepid reporter who will set the world on its ear one day. She is smart and determined and I know that she will always be the one for me." Oliver's eyes were light, waiting for her response.
The one he got was not what he expected. Chloe's face became shuttered and she stepped back from him. She looked up at him and said, "Lois is a very lucky woman."
Ollie's mouth nearly dropped open in shock. He didn't think he could have been more obvious, but just as he opened his mouth to speak again the computer beeped.
"The files are done," Chloe said.
A/N: Don't forget to review!
