The Akatsuki Stories II:
Akatsuki Reborn
Disclaimer: Jack Skellington is Micheal Jackson after his 3,456,765th plastic surgery.
Chapter VI
Retrieval
Part III: Hidan
The OrochiMobile soon reached the outskirts of the Transylavanian castle where Hidan and Itachi crash-landed in the first fanfiction.
" SPOOKY!" whimpered Kabuto, jumping into Sasori's lap.
" Get off unless you want your manliness wooden. LIKE MINE." said Sasori.
" EEP!" this made Kabuto accidently leap through the window, falling into the deep ravine.
" That was anticlimatic." said Itachi, reading the first Icha Icha book made by both Kakashi and Jiraiya, " What happened to brother, anyway?"
" He's in the trunk." said Orochimaru who parked the JacksonMobile on the moat, " See?"
He unlocked the trunk and-POW!- Sasuke stabbed Orochi right through the heart.
" I'M FREE!" he yelled at the top of his emo lungs.
" Whatever. Just bring the pedo back to life." said Sasori, " And why did he park on the MOAT?"
" PULL IT UP!" yelled one of the castle's henchmen.
" Uh oh."
The OrochiMobile's tires were rubber, so they stuck to the moat till it was all the way up. Then, the car dropped from 50 feet in the air into the water.
" WE'RE DOOMED!" yelled Sasuke, choking Itachi.
" I'LL SAVE US!" yelled Kisame who sliced through the roof with his sword.
They swam through the hole but then they met SHARKS!
" KISAME!!!" yelled Itachi at the top of his blind emo lungs.
" I'll save us AGAIN!" yelled the shark man, approaching his cousins.
After a few minutes of muttering, Kisame returned.
" Bad luck guys, these guys speak Atlantic!" yelled Kisame, " I'm Pacific!"
" And I'M a Pacifist!" yelled Sasori.
" I'm a Gemini." said Itachi.
" I'm a Leo. AND PROUD OF IT!" yelled Sasuke.
But they were too late. CHOMP! The first shark ate... MY NEW XBOX 360!? THAT'S IT! YOU'RE OUT OF THE STORY! Um... the sharks were... mysteriously killed by.. Batman!
" WE'RE SAVED!" yelled the four, " THANK YOU BATMAN!"
" Just remember to never go in a pedo's car." said the dark knight, " Unless you're planning to kill him."
He then flew into the sky, right into the path of a duck. SQUACK! The duck made him fall with it into the blades of a helicopter. ZING! Then the helicopter flew into a volcano and roasted bat and fried duck fell on Sasori's head. BOP!
" FOOD!" Kisame ate the fried duck while it was still on Sasori's head, sooo.
CHOMP!
"YOU IDIOT!" yelled Sasori's head in Kisame's stomach.
The body then took out two guns that said-
" DON'T!" Dante appeared and threatened to slice off my head if I took away his guns while he was fighting Arkham.
Um... The body then took out to guns named.. uh... Fred and Harold? Anyway, he shot him.
" Let's just find a way to get inside." said Itachi, studying the wall for a moment, " Mangeyko Sharingan!!"
He burned a hole into the castle, whre he saw... HIDAN AND COUSIN DRAKE!?
" Guys?" asked Hidan, who was stabbed by Cousin Drake as he stabbed him, too.
" Emo?" asked Kisame.
" Jashin dummy?" asked Sasori.
" Bloody?" asked Itachi.
" PANCAKES!" yelled Sasuke.
The three original Akatsuki ran and stabbed Hidan in the heart.
" THANKS GUYS!" thanked Hidan, " You're my best (beep)in friends!"
" AW!!" said Sasuke, " That's so emo-like! But what happened to Kabuto and Orochi?"
KABUTO
Kabuto had landed into quicksand, which cushioned his fall and spit him on top of Orochi, his healing hand landing on his wound, bringing him back to life.
" WE LIVE!" yelled the two, who then ran to Sasuke and danced around him.
" I hate my life." said the emo, slitting himself.
" Why are you guys back?" asked Hidan, " I inherited Cousin Drake's fortune because he's going to star on a new show on Nickelodeon, " Drake & Jashin". I consider it an honor being on a TV show with the awesome Jashin!"
" BLOD BLOO DEE!" yelled Drake. ( For the last time, it's JOSH! Not JASHIN!)
" Well, let's get going!" said Itachi, tugging on the Jashin worshipper's sleeve.
" No." said Hidan, " I'm going to catch the pilot of it tomorrow in San Diego!"
" Okay, how bout this?" asked Sasori, " You get dropped off in San Diego tomorrow and WE pick you up?"
After a few minutes of dying, Hidan gave them his answer.
" Will I have to wear a shirt?" he asked.
" No."
" OF COURSE YES!"
They took Hidan into the car when suddenly, Orochi remembered something.
" OMG! I FORGOT! TODAY'S KAROKE NIGHT AT THE LAIR!"
OROCHIMARU'S LAIR
Sakkun's
Front Head:C'mon
Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da
strap you in the car seat
Back
Head:Oh
where's mama? She's takin a little nap in the trunk
Oh that smell
(whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk
Front
Head:Now
I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin
But
you know your mama, she's one of those type of women-
" Where's Orochimaru?" sighed Tayuya, who was dying by the sound of Sakkun's back head now beatboxing.
" He's not late!" reassured Jirobo, " He's just...eh...picking up all 10 of the original Akatsuki so HE can becom an Akatsuki. Simple."
" Orochi always HAS been an idiot." said Kimmimaro, who ended the song by throwing a shasrp bone at the karoke machine.
" HEY!" yelled Sakkun's front, I was in a ery intiment moment!"
" With who, yourself?" said Tayuya sarcastically.
" Hm. I never thought of that." said the back head.
" Uh oh." said the four Sound nin as they watched what happened before them.
TRANSYLAVANIA
" WHOOO!!! RETIREMENT HOME, HERE WE COME!" yelledas they drove towards " Our Senior Members Have All Gone Bonkers" retirement home...
THE
END
