Vala felt like she was outside her own body, watching herself act like someone completely insane. She stared at Daniel's chest, his arms, his legs, and then she looked almost sympathetically into his eyes, but that moment of weakness only lost her the upper hand. Daniel rolled her back onto her back and with a growl and a grin began the entire process all over again.
Vala didn't put up any resistance this time. She knew the sooner it was over the sooner she could start not thinking of it. Still she knew she was doing this willingly, in some way. She wanted to save her Daniel, even if it meant the pain was going to drive her mad.
She could feel her body starting to shake. It took her a moment to realize that she was whimpering, tears starting to form in her eyes and sobs starting to form in her throat. She tried to stop the feeling. She was doing this for Daniel, despite how much she hated him right then. Even this animal Daniel was Daniel underneath, and if he knew what he was doing to her, he would try and stop. If he stopped now, he was going to go insane, and she probably was going to go insane too.
But she could stop the tears or the sobs, they came like a tidal wave. She closed her eyes as sharply as she could possibly could. She didn't want to look at Daniel. She wanted to try and regain some idea of who she was and what the hell was going on. But despite her fears that Daniel might stop if he knew the pain she was in, Daniel's thrusts just grew more violent.
Suddenly she felt his nails digging into her flesh and she could feel the blood etching towards her pores. The heat of the act was almost soothing, the violence was somehow calming and she knew that Daniel was finding a way to give her some release.
She whispered his name through her parched lips, "Daniel?" His thrusts began to slow. She opened her eyes slowly and through her watery tears she looked into his eyes. For the first time since this had begun she actual saw Daniel, she could find him underneath the beast, pleading with her to do the same to him once more. She slowly opened her mouth and wrapped it around his arm and bit down with satisfaction.
So this was Tolyen. No wonder it took years of training to become a member of the tents. No wonder it was not an act that children were allowed to perform. No wonder the partner you made in this tent was the partner you chose for years to come. It was something that demanded extreme control and trust. This was Tolyen; Pleasure from Pain.
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Vala could feel her body starting to tire. Daniel was starting to lesson his grips on her and she knew he wasn't at full strength.
She placed her hands around his arms and dug her nails in. She was telling him to stop. She was telling him it was time to rest. He understood the sign, and slowly lifted himself from her body without letting her go. He still had the wild look about him, but now Vala understood that even the animal underneath the Daniel she knew was still her Daniel.
Food and water were placed in the outer tent and a bell was wrung. Vala and Daniel rose and followed the sound to the peaceful and abandoned outer tent. Neither had understood how hungered they were until they smelt the food. They separated each other and ravaged the provisions before them. Neither was of sound enough mind to realize the healing qualities of their nourishment.
When they had satisfied themselves they returned to each other and leisurely continued to eat. Food was like a different satisfaction, not feeding the pain and not giving of pleasure but satisfying the body so that it remembered what it was. In traditional Tolyen this would be the first meal of partners and a meal that would mark entering society away from the solitude. For Vala and Daniel this meal was a renewal; a renewal of their bodies and a renewal of their friendship. Neither could yet fathom how greatly that friendship would have to change if it was ever to survive.
When Vala felt calm enough that she could trust herself with words she spoke to him. "I do not want to sleep alone."
Daniel looked up at her, looking as ridiculous as he ever had in his life. He got up and lifted her in his arms. He carried her to the inner tent and dropped her on their bed. He stared at her for a still moment before speaking, "You are mine, as is your body and your pain. Nothing shall befall you this night or any night to follow. For you are mine and alone you shall never be again."
She lifted up her arms and pulled him down beside her. No more conflict tonight. Tonight only sleep. Tomorrow their game would begin again but how different that game would be. This was Tolyen. This was peace, life and renewal. No longer to be alone, they slept wrapped in each other as one, learning at last why fate had brought them together. Together they were able to heal, to renew; together there would be peace. That was their Tolyen, alone no more.
