The Pigs raced into the living room where they found everyone else, crowding around Cyril, all talking at once. Cyril was looking annoyed at the lot of them. Finally, he stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled shrilly.
"QUIET!" he screamed at the top of his voice. Everybody stopped talking, and the room was silent. Cyril groaned.
"I told you I didn't want to hear any talk about ghosts," he said. "They don't exist!"
"Then what was playing those instruments?" Bentley asked.
"And who handed me my peanut butter soda?" Bert asked.
"And who hung that old portrait back on the wall after we took it down?" Sophia asked.
"And who dumped the bucket of water on me?" Ralph asked.
"And who ate our sandwiches?" Floyd asked.
"Who'd want to eat your sandwiches without having an indigestion attack?" Cyril said. "You're all letting your imaginations run away with you! That's all there is to it!"
"I don't know, Pop," Cedric said, nervously. "There's something about this place that gives me the creeps. Let's go home."
"Oh for goodness sake," Cyril groaned. "There's no such things as ghosts! And I'll prove it to you! I'll hunt down this alleged ghost."
Cyril stormed off and began Ghost Hunting. The others staid where they were. There was no way any of them was going to wander around this house.
Cyril went into the music room and looked around. He picked up one of the violins and inspected it, half expecting to find a string or something attached. He also inspected the cello, the other violin, and the viola. Everything seemed to be in order. He whacked the top of the piano and it started playing, until he gave it a second whack.
"Darn player pianos," he grumbled. Then he left the music room, and started up the stairs. He went into the master bedroom, and looked at the portrait.
"So this is Count Verner Von Varkenstein," he said. "Hmm. I wonder how long he'd been dead when he posed for that picture. Heh, heh."
Cyril inspected every inch of the room. He didn't find anything out of the ordinary in there. Then he went down to the main hallway. With the exception of two mops and an overturned bucket laying on the floor, everything looked pretty much in order. Finally, he went to the kitchen and looked around. All he found was the Pigs' picnic basket, and their condiments (and the sauerkraut) hanging around.
"Those stupid swine live like pigs," he grumbled. Then he went back up the stairs to continue his inspection. He passed the linen closet and stopped for a moment. He looked at it, and saw that there were sheets and towels peeking out from it. It looked like it was going to explode.
"I wonder how much stuff ol' Verner stuck in here," he said, opening the door. In true Fibber McGee Fashion, everything inside the linen closet spilled out. Cyril was buried underneath sheets and towels, as well as various knick knacks that were in there. He groaned as he tried to get back up on his feet. Everyone else heard the crash, and began to get nervous.
"Gee, I hope Pop's okay up there," Cedric said.
"Maybe we should go up and check," Melissa said.
The others just glanced at each other. They weren't sure if they wanted to go upstairs or not.
"Well don't everyone volunteer at once," Melissa said, sarcastically, and she headed for the staircase.
"Wait for me, Melissa!" Cedric shouted.
"Me too!" Bert called. Then he turned towards the Pigs. "Come on, you guys."
"Why us?" Floyd asked.
"Because you're Mr. Sneer's most faithful employees," Sophia pointed out.
"You know," Lloyd said to her. "You've been married to Cedric for four years now, and you still call the boss Mr. Sneer. Show a little backbone!"
"Look who's talking," Bert mumbled.
On that note, the Pigs followed Cedric, Bert, and Melissa up the stairs. The wind began to howl outside just then. Thunder rolled, and the group could see lightning flash from outside.
"We're in for a good storm," Cedric replied.
"That just adds to the atmosphere of this place," Boyd said, shuddering. "Oooh. I want my bunny-wunny!"
"I think it's in Evelyn's stroller," Lloyd said. "I'll go get it for you!"
Lloyd was about to race back down the stairs, but Bert grabbed him by the back of his shirt collar, and pulled him back. The group continued walking on, until they heard someone . . . . or something moaning.
"Ooohhhhh . . . . ."
"What was that?!" both Floyd and Boyd shouted in unison, and they jumped onto Lloyd. The three Pigs held onto each other for dear life.
"It s-s-s-s-sounds like a g-g-g-ghost!" Cedric stammered.
"Don't panic," Melissa said. "Follow me, and stay calm!"
"Right behind ya," Bert said, falling in line behind Melissa. Cedric went behind Bert, and the Pigs went behind Cedric.
The moaning grew louder down the hall. Bert, Cedric, and the Pigs began to grow more nervous by the second. Melissa was getting a little spooked herself. They came to the linen closet, and found the mess of sheets and other things laying there.
"Something tells me Cyril's been in the linen closet," Melissa said.
"Pop!" Cedric called. "Hey Pop, where are you?"
The moaning grew louder, and the sixsome dared to look down the hall. Standing there in front of them was a ghost. A big, white, moaning ghost. Bert, Cedric, Melissa, and the Pigs all let out a scream, and ran off in the other direction.
"I knew this place was haunted!" Cedric shouted.
"Wait a minute!" Melissa shouted, skidding to a halt. "That ghost isn't even chasing us. It's just standing there. Now's our chance to get it!"
"Are you crazy?!" Floyd shouted. "I'm not going anywhere near that ghost!"
"Melissa's right," Bert said. "After all, there's one of him, and six of us."
"Can't you make it three of you?" Lloyd asked.
"Come on!" Melissa shouted.
"Bert Raccoon! Ghost Buster!" Bert shouted. "CHAAAARRRRRGE!"
Bert, Cedric, and Melissa ran for the ghost. The Pigs shrugged, and followed as well. They managed to tackle the ghost to the ground, and they held him.
"We got the ghost! We got the ghost!" Floyd shouted, happily.
"Boy, oh boy, the boss is sure to give us a raise for this one!" Lloyd shouted.
"I'll give you a raise all right!" the ghost shouted. "I'll raise you straight to the moon if you don't get off of me NOW!"
"Pop!" Cedric shouted, immediately recognizing his father's voice. Everyone got up, and Cyril finally pulled the sheet off of him.
"Sheesh, Cyril, what're ya trying to do, scare us?" Bert asked.
"Never mind!" Cyril shouted. Then the group went back to the others, and Cyril gave his report.
"Now, I've made a thorough inspection," he said. "There are no ghosts in this house, and therefore, this house is not haunted!"
"But Mr. Sneer, we saw everything floating and stuff," Bentley said.
"And the scary picture was back on the wall after Mommy took it down, and she and Auntie Melissa didn't put it back up again, Gampa!" Forest shouted.
"Forest, listen to me," Cyril said, kneeling down to his grandson's level. "You're letting your imagination run wild. All of you are. It's an old, run down house, there's a storm outside, so naturally, your mind plays tricks on you."
"But Pop . . . ." Cedric started.
"No buts!" Cyril yelled. "If this house is haunted, may lightning strike it!"
A gigantic crash of thunder was heard, and indeed, lightning did strike the old house, and that caused the power to go out. The next thing the group heard was a very girlish scream.
"Okay, which one of you girls is the wise guy?!" Lloyd shouted. "One of you just screamed in my ear!"
"That was me, Lloyd," Floyd said. "Sorry."
"Floyd, you squeal like a girl," Lloyd said.
"You and your big mouth, Cyril!" Bert shouted. "I can't see a thing!"
"Anybody got a flashlight?" Lisa asked.
"Somebody find a light switch," Boyd said. "I'm scared of the dark!"
Everyone began to fumble around, feeling around looking for the switch.
"Oof!" Bert shouted, bumping into somebody.
"Sorry, Bert," Ralph said.
"I hope we find the lights soon," Lisa said. "It's starting to get really spooky in here!"
"Don't worry, Lisa!" Bert shouted, grabbing whom he thought was Lisa. "I'll protect you!"
"Uhh, Bert?" Cedric asked. "That's my arm you're holding."
"Whoops," Bert said. "Sorry, Cedric."
"Hey, I think I found the lights!" Bentley shouted, and he pulled what he thought was a string to a lamp.
"Oooooowwwwww!" Forest howled in pain. Then he started crying. "That really hurted!"
"Oh, sorry, Forest," Bentley said. "I didn't realize that was your ear."
The group fumbled around a little more. The next thing that was heard was Snag yelping, a crash, and then Broo howling.
"Ow!" Sophia shouted.
"Are you all right, Sophia?" Cedric asked.
"Yes, I'm fine," Sophia said, standing up. "But I just tripped over Snag and landed on Broo."
"Ouch!" Lisa shouted, suddenly. "Bentley!"
"I'm over here!" Bentley shouted from across the room.
"Then who just stomped on my foot?!" Lisa shouted.
"I think that was me," Lloyd said. "Sorry."
"This is way too creepy for me," Boyd said. "I'm going to hide under this rug."
"That's my tail!" Ralph shouted, yanking his tail away from the Pig. "Get out from under there!"
"Sorry," Boyd said, sheepishly.
"There's got to be a light switch around here somewhere," Cyril said, making his way around the room. He suddenly bumped into something and fell, and Evelyn began wailing. Apparently, Cyril had knocked over the stroller, and Evelyn along with it.
"Okay, who's the idiot who left the stroller in the middle of the room?!" Cyril yelled.
"Gee, Melissa," Ralph said, taking Melissa's hand. "I didn't realize your hand was so big."
"That's because it's mine, Ralph," Schafer said.
"Oops!" Ralph shouted. "Sorry, Schafer."
"Hey! Hey, everybody!" Floyd shouted, excitedly. "I think I've found something! It might be the lights! I'm gonna push it, and then the lights will come back on! I'm sure of it!"
Floyd pushed what he thought would turn on the lights. Melissa let out a gasp, screamed, and slapped Floyd right in the face as hard as she could.
WHACK!
"Sorry," Floyd said.
"Ah ha!" Bert shouted, reaching up. He had grabbed something in his hand. "I found the string to turn on the lights!"
"That's my nose, you moron!" Cyril shouted, sounding nasal.
"Eeeww, sorry," Bert said, letting go immediately.
After some more shuffling and bumping into each other, the group heard something creaking nearby, and then a sinister sounding cackle. Sophia suddenly let out a shriek, like Hollywood starlets do in those old black and white movies.
"Beware!" an ominous voice shouted. "If you do not leave Von Varkenstein Manor, you must pay the consequences!"
"It's the ghost of Count Verner Von Varkenstein!" the Pigs yelled in unison.
"Don't be ridiculous," Cyril said. "There's no such things as ghosts. Now whoever you are, get out of here!"
"You dare speak that way to Count Verner Von Varkenstein?!" the ominous voice asked. "You dare tell Count Verner Von Varkenstein to leave his own manor?! Leave Von Varkenstein Manor, or you will pay the consequences!"
Thunder crashed and lightning flashed. Everyone screamed, and grabbed onto everyone else, trying to find comfort. Cyril was finally tired of it.
"I've had enough of this!" he shouted. "Would somebody turn on the lights already?!"
There was a small click, and Cyril was nearly blinded by a small flashlight, held by Forest. Everyone looked at him, and gaped.
"Forest!" Cyril shouted, exasperated. "You mean to tell me you had a flashlight all this time?"
"Yup," Forest said.
"How come you didn't turn it on when the lights went out?!"
"You didn't ask."
Cyril slapped his hand over his eyes and moaned. Forest rolled his eyes, and looked over at Evelyn, who was sitting on the floor.
"Grown ups," he mumbled. Evelyn just babbled in baby talk. Finally, the lights came back on, much to everyone's relief.
"About time," Cyril said.
"Hey, there's something on my leg," Lisa said. She looked down, and saw her brother, clutching her leg for dear life. "Bentley, what are you doing?"
"I thought you were Aunt Melissa," Bentley said, letting go of his sister. "I can't believe I was hugging my sister. Yuck!"
"I think there's something under my tail," Melissa said. She turned around, and there was Floyd.
"Hey!" Melissa shouted.
"Sorry," Floyd said, sheepishly. "I thought it was a rug." He ran off before Melissa could hit him again.
"Hey, Cedric," Ralph said, looking over at his friend. "Is there something going on between you and that plant?"
Cedric looked down, and saw he was hugging a nearby potted plant. He cleared his throat and stepped away from it.
"Boy, this is really . . . ." Bert said. Then he realized he was hugging someone, and it wasn't Lisa. "What the . . . ."
"Gee, I didn't even know you cared," Boyd said, as Bert realized he was holding the Pig in his arms.
"Ehhhh," Bert groaned, dropping Boyd then and there.
Before the group could say anything else, they heard the sound of whimpering thumb sucking, and turned to look at the stroller. Sitting in it was Lloyd, sucking his thumb, and clutching a stuffed bunny rabbit tightly. The others looked at him as if he were crazy. Lloyd saw everyone staring at him, laughed sheepishly, took his thumb out of his mouth, and climbed out of the stroller. Then he picked up Evelyn, put her in the stroller, gave her the bunny, and patted her head. Then he smiled at everyone else, gave a little embarrassed giggle, and soft shoed out of sight (or at least behind the stroller).
"Do a head count, Cedric," Ralph said. "I want to make sure we're all here. Just in case."
"Good idea, Ralph," Cedric said, and he began counting. Then he began double checking and even triple checking. Ralph noticed he was becoming a little panicked.
"What's wrong, Cedric?" he asked. "Aren't we all here?"
"No," Cedric said, looking extremely nervous. "Sophia's missing!"
