The Tracy Family and Thunderbirds are the creation of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson

Chapter 89

That night saw John and Virgil, once more, standing in their brother's room, watching him toss and turn, drenched in sweat, under the heavy weight of his nightmares.

"No…no….don't…look at me…like that. Sh…shouldn't have…been there. Sh…shouldn't have…tried to stop us. Had…had to get away. Co…couldn't let them…take us. He…he was…was only a…boy, Jez. His buddy…gotta …gotta take him out too. I…I'm gonna…get us home, Jez," Scott called out, breathing heavily as he relived every moment.

Suddenly, Scott's eyes snapped open, though it was plain that he wasn't actually awake, instead having a look of horror, startling Virgil and John a little, making them draw their breath.

"No…no….leave them….alone. They've done nothing…..they…they don't…know anything. Leave them alone," Scott continued to cry out. He grasped his sheets, twisting them in his tightened fists as his tossing became more violent, his face turning to stone coldness. "Leave them…leave them….or I'll…kill you. I'll kill you with my bare hands….I swear it. I'LL KILL YOU ALL." In his mind he was already racing across that open paddy field to meet out his deadly justice because in his mind….he could!

John gulped; Virgil winced, at the vehemence behind the words. But it made the two boys all the more determined to help their obviously troubled brother. With no need for words they looked at each other and nodded. Time to wake him up.

Making sure they were standing at the end of the bed, well clear of his immediate reach, as they had done every night since that first, Virgil shook Scott by his foot. "Scott! Scott! Wake up. It's just a bad dream," he encouraged his restless brother.

Drawing in a huge breath and blinking several times Scott startled awake, sitting bolt upright and panting heavily. It took him a few moments of looking around to realise where he was, in the safety of his own room with two concerned faces looking on; the same two concerned faces that woke him every night.

John handed him a towel to wipe himself down. "Th..thanks…guys. I…I'll…be alright…now," Scott nodded, taking steady breaths to calm himself.

The two boys looked at each other and resolutely sat down, one on either side of his bed.

Scott stopped what he was doing, lifted his head from the towel he had buried his face in and studied his two brothers warily, looking from one to the other. He knew what was coming. It was the same every night only this night they seemed to have a more determined look about them. "Look…I said I'm alright guys," he repeated equally determinedly, as he continued to dry himself off. "Like you said…it was just a….bad dream."

"But you're not alright, Scott…..are you? Look at you……tormented….bathed in sweat every night! Talkin about killin everybody! What's eatin you up, buddy?" Virgil urged, the plaintive tone in his voice very evident.

Scott's face clouded over in a heavy frown. "So…what are you now? My analyst!" Scott snapped out in obvious sarcasm. Pushing himself back up the bed he rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

Virgil and John looked at each other with a raise of their brows and took a deep breath, not put off in the least by his brusque manner; after all, they in no way expected this to be easy.

"We just wanna help, Scott," John responded with all the brotherly love he had.

"Help," Scott mused, as if he almost found the word funny. "Well, you can't help. Now I'm handling it…so….why don't you…just go back to bed…..both of you," he suggested curtly, his face clouded over in obvious pain, though in truth, it was more of an insistance.

"Handling what, Scott? What is it you think you have to handle alone?" Virgil urged and very aware he was pushing the boundary, seeing his brother's cheek muscles flinch, a definite danger sign.

"What do you think, Virg! Ever had to survive….and I mean…really survive in hostile jungle….not knowin what's out there….havin your buddy injured….and knowin his life is in your hands, huh?" Scott stated irritably, hoping that would suffice them.

Virgil took a moment to reflect. "You know I haven't Scott," he answered quietly. "But that doesn't mean we can't listen….and try to understand. I guess that was pretty rough for you out there…..but that's not all there is, though…is it, buddy? Something else happened," he surmised, continuing with gentle probing.

Eyes flashed dangerously. "Just leave it, Virg….both of you. Now go back to bed," Scott ordered sharply, that role of dishing out quick and instant orders coming quite naturally to him, as he looked from one brother to the other. Perhaps he was forgetting, though, that his two brothers were not under his military command, at least, not yet!

Now was the time to be resolute and stubborn if necessary. John and Virgil looked at each other and nodded. "We're not going anywhere, Scott….not tonight. We are not going to let you bottle this up. We're here to stay….should it take all night," John stated with absolute determination, followed by an agreed nod from Virgil.

Scott looked incredulously from one to the other; if this wasn't so serious it would be laughable. "And what! You think you two hot shots can 'interrogate' me! So….what am I in for! The 'nice and nasty' routine!" he retorted with heavy sarcasm causing the two brothers to look slightly bewildered. "You know….'good cop, bad cop' or are you just gonna go for the 'bad cop, bad cop'! Come on guys….stay focused. We're talkin interrogation here. You're forgetting…..I've been interrogated by the best. So…come on, hot shots….give it your best shot," Scott responded testily, giving them a short, sharp lesson in interrogation techniques and indicating that it hadn't worked for the professionals so why should it work for them. He always had that disarming way, with that quick-thinking brain of his and way with words, of being able to turn a subject round to make one lose their train of thought and almost forget what they wanted to know, as two certain doctors found out to their cost. They were still, I believe, wading through their notes, trying to decide whether he had actually told them anything at all.

Virgil and John, however, had one major advantage. They knew their brother only too well and knew what he was trying to do, to make them feel flustered, uncomfortable and guilty, especially with his talk of interrogation but none of which, they determined, was going to work.

"Well see, Scott….they just didn't know what buttons to push," John informed him confidently, referring to those textbook professionals.

"Oh….and you do, I suppose," Scott replied with a heavy frown of suspicion and just a little bit of worry creeping into that hardened exterior.

"Yeah sure we do, big brother. We have one major ace up our sleeve…..isn't that right, Virgil?" John assured him with continued confidence and looking to Virgil, who, it had to be said, was looking a bit less than confident since he had no idea what John was talking about.

"We do!" Virgil asked in puzzled bewilderment.

"Yeah sure we do, Virgil," John encouraged, with that 'back me up here, brother' kind of look.

"Oh yeah….yeah….sure we do. Ace…..big ace up our sleeve," Virgil nodded seriously in agreement. "What have we got, John?" he whispered hurriedly behind his hand.

Scott frowned suspiciously, looking from one to the other.

"See…we know where all your ticklish spots are," John stated quite casually.

For a moment there was absolute silence and then! Well, how could he not laugh at that, albeit a rather sad attempt at a laugh with John having defused a potentially volatile and tense situation, something he was usually pretty good at given his calm and quiet ways.

Scott shook his head with a sigh. "Look guys…I appreciate what you're trying to do….honest I do…but please….just drop it."

"No, Scott….we can't. We don't want to see you carry this burden alone….whatever it is. So you might as well tell us," Virgil stated, urging his eldest brother to open up.

The defused moment didn't last long and the darkness returned to his bronzed, handsome features.

"I said drop it. You…you don't know what you're getting yourself into," Scott snapped angrily, his irritability factor rising again.

Virgil and John now shot worried glances to each other. What on earth was their eldest brother trying to keep from them! What was he trying to protect them from?

"Scott! What we're getting ourselves into!" Virgil exclaimed, thinking this was sounding rather mysterious. "What are you talkin about? We're your brothers….we love you, buddy. Look…there's nothin you tell us that can shock us," Virgil assured his brother with John giving his nodded affirmation, thinking that, perhaps his brother was maybe afraid to admit he was scared.

Scott forced a laugh. Not that he found this funny, not any of it but that his brothers were so determined to dig this out of him, forcing him down a road he did not want to go. He looked them coldly in the eye. "You want the truth, huh? You think you're ready for the truth! Think you can take the truth, huh? You think you guys know me!" he spat out sharply. "Hell….I don't even know if I know me anymore," Scott reflected in forlorn dejection.

Now the two boys were becoming anxious but felt they were close to getting their brother to break. Gee but he was a hard nut to crack. "Oh course we know you, Scott. You can be a pain in the butt at times….when you pull that big brother routine…..but underneath it you're the kindest, most giving person we know….you would do anything for anybody," John reassured him, feeling he was in need of a confidence booster.

Scott winced. "You have no idea what I'm capable off," he stated coldly. "John….that other night! I could have really hurt you…..I could have….I could have killed you," he struggled to confess, his voice and eyes filled with deep pain.

"No, Scott….no. I told you….I don't blame you for that. We shouldn't have startled you in the middle of a bad dream," John continued to reassure him, moving closer and putting a supporting hand on his shoulder with Virgil joining in the agreement.

The physical touch made him flinch and he practically shot off the bed in deep agitation, knowing they were not fully understanding. He rounded on them. "You don't understand. You're not listening. I mean….I …seriously…could have killed you, John. If Virg hadn't pulled me off you…..! I already have blood on my hands," Scott told them, looking deep into their eyes to see a slow realisation begin to dawn and then looking down at his hands. "I told you…..you don't know what I'm truly capable of," he repeated, turning then to gaze out into the night at the jungle interior of his island home.

Virgil and John sat stunned for a moment, truly stunned at this revelation but their brother needed, now more than ever, their support, not their condemnation and, anyway, they still didn't know the facts. "Then why don't you tell us, Scott…..we're listening, buddy," Virgil encouraged gently but making no move to go near his brother, feeling that Scott needed his own space to do this and not wanting to give him any reason to clam up again. John, too, kept wisely silent, not wishing to disturb the atmosphere that had settled on the room.

"Tell you what! That your brother is capable of killing with his bare hands…..that I can take life…without a second thought. Is that what you want to hear?" Scott reflected in a baring-of-soul agony, as he continued to stare out into the darkness, like the darkness he was feeling lost in.

The two boys sat and looked at each other, feeling for their brother's obvious pain.

"Is that what you had to do, Scott? What happened to you out there?" John asked in a gentle and imploring tone.

There was silence as he became lost in his memories. Now that the words were out in the open there was no going back. After a slight glance down and behind him, Scott turned back to the sliding glass window that led out onto his balcony and put his hand on the frame for support, as he gathered his thoughts.

"We were in imminent danger of being captured…….I…I couldn't let that happen….I had to get Jez to the LZ…..," Scott began in a quiet, reflective mood, giving voice to his thoughts more so than answering their question, almost as if he were putting things clear in his own mind. "I couldn't let him be taken….either of us. They would have used him…..used his injury against me. I…I couldn't let them do that."

"So what happened next?" Virgil prompted him.

"He came up behind me…..I had just finished fixing Jez's leg. He was prodding his weapon into my ribs…he shouldn't have done that…he shouldn't have been there……why did he have to find us?" Scott continued, his face clouded over in a troubled frown as he became more deeply lost in his thoughts.

Virgil and John winced at the thought of the weapon being prodded into their brother's injured side. They exchanged worried glances but decided to let him talk on.

"He was only a kid…..couldn't have been more than seventeen……younger than our Al," Scott continued to reflect quietly then his mood and face darkened again. "Damn kid…..thought he could take us. Couldn't let him do that…..I had no choice…..had to take him out…..couldn't let him alert his buddy. That was his mistake…..splitting from his buddy to search…..shouldn't have tried taking me on his own. But I didn't know he was only a kid…..not until….until…..," he struggled to say, beads of perspiration now forming on his face.

"Until! Until what, Scott……go on," John urged gently.

"Next minute I'd drawn my knife…..clamped my hand over his mouth and rammed that blade up into that kid's chest….all the way…and then I twisted….before I pulled it out. You have to do it like that….quick….no hesitation….or you wouldn't do it all…..but to hesitate is fatal….if you hesitate you're dead," he went on in quite a detached fashion, giving them a sharp reminder of the harsh realities of warfare and trying desperately to reason out in his own mind that he had no choice. He clenched his fist as though holding a knife and mimicking the actions. "He looked at me…..those eyes….so full of fear….and disbelief…..he couldn't believe it. I watched that kid bleed….take his last breath. He was dead before he hit the ground," he went on, looking down at his hands.

Scott drew a breath and told them how he went on to dispose of the body. "……couldn't let him be found….had to give us a chance to get away…as far as we could. That's why I had to wait…..make sure," he continued in his reflective thought.

The two boys exchanged more glances. "Had to wait! Make sure of what, Scott?" Virgil queried in puzzlement.

"I told you….he had a buddy….they search in two's," Scott replied in irritation. "I knew he would come lookin….he wouldn't be far away. Couldn't leave him to raise the alarm…..I had to take him out too. Jez was the bait….to draw him out…..it didn't take long. I came up behind him….wrapped my arm around his throat….so he couldn't cry out….held his head in my hands! I snapped his neck with my bare hands...that's all it took….one short, sharp twist…..clean, efficient…..no mess. Ever hear a man's neck snap in your hands!" he added in a cold, clinical manner, again looking at his hands, almost as if they didn't belong to him then carried on to tell them how he disposed of that body too, hiding it in the undergrowth then getting Jez and him the hell out of there.

There was silence as the two boys took in the enormity of what their eldest brother had just told them, of what he had been through. "Geez, Scott…..we had no idea," Virgil exclaimed, gaining some sense of understanding as to his brother's being distant and withdrawn and probably why he hadn't ventured inland yet, reminding him too much of that other jungle. "I…we…just wish there was something we could say, buddy…or do to help you," he added, feeling utterly helpless as to know how to help his brother cope or to help him find some sort of peace. After all, what do you say to your brother, a brother who you've known all your life, a brother who is good and honorable, a brother who has been brought up to respect the value of human life, when that same brother has had to take life and kill in such a fashion just to stay alive.

Scott closed his eyes momentarily, drew a breath and turned to meet his brothers, the deep trouble of his soul etched on his face. "Well, there isn't. I just have to find a way to live with it……live with myself," he stated with a cold finality that was heartbreaking to his brothers.

"Scott….you said it yourself…..you had no choice. You…you just did what you had to do to survive out there. Man….that took guts," John responded encouragingly.

"Yeah, he's right, Scott……and the fact that you're beatin yourself up now shows how much you feel. And it may be what you're capable of but you only did what you were taught to do…..it does not make you some sort of cold-hearted killer…..and we won't have you thinkin that way," Virgil re-iterated quite categorically.

He had heard all those platitudes before; it was just going to take him time to believe them. "Like I said…..I have to find a way to live with it. And I do not…want Alan and Gordon finding out about this. What I've told you stays in this room…..is that clear?" Scott ordered decisively, looking his brothers squarely in the eye.

"But Scott….!" John started to protest.

"But nothing. This goes no farther…..understand? You think I want them looking at me with fear in their eyes every time I raise my voice…or…or get annoyed….wondering if I'm gonna lose it….or every time we mess around…and I put my arm round their throat…or get them in a headlock….that they'll be afraid I might just go too far! And I DON'T want them looking at me and wondering what it was like to stick some kid with a blade….or snap a guys neck….and know they're just itchin to ask. I've had enough of that google-eyed, hero-worship crap from them already," Scott responded sharply, a heavy frown creasing his brows and explaining his reasons very clearly. "I…I just don't want them lookin at me any differently…and that goes for you guys too… and everybody else. Now I've told you what you wanted to know….so please …don't make me sorry I told you. I don't want them to know….and that's final," he added, his voice having mellowed to more of a pleading.

They could well understand now their eldest brother's reasons for not wanting his younger siblings to know, his need to protect them, indeed, all of them had always been strong and then there was his own fierce need to protect himself from being hurt by having his brothers be afraid of him.

"Alright, Scott….we understand. We won't tell them….that's a promise," his brothers replied with an agreed nod. "I take it Dad knows!" Virgil surmised to which Scott nodded, informing them their father had made sure General Ryder told him everything right at the start. Virgil nodded understandingly. "I kinda figured he knew everything….he's been really protective over you, Scott."

Something now began to come together for John, like pieces of a jigsaw. "Scott….is this really what that Major Bauer was all about? Was it something to do with your training….how you took those guys out? Is that what you wouldn't tell him? It was more than just not handing in a report….wasn't it?" he asked tentatively, very aware of his eldest brother's stiffening at the mention of the man's name. With his NASA training he had always been a bit dubious of the reason that his brother had been tortured simply because he refused to submit a report right away. When he saw the questioning look on his brother's face he explained further. "That's all Dad would say….it was because you wouldn't give him a full report of what happened right away."

Scott drew a deep, calming breath and studied his two eagerly awaiting brothers carefully. Well, they knew this much they might as well know that too. "Yeah….that's pretty much it. But don't be askin me any more questions….because I won't tell you….I can't tell you anything more….so don't push it," he stated adamantly. "And that stays here too. As far as everybody else is concerned…it's just the way Dad said….apart from Grandma."

"Yeah, Scott….we understand….and apart from Grandma. As far as she's concerned your fever was because of an infection….which is the truth anyway," Virgil acknowledged. Some things they were just going to have to resign themselves to not knowing, such as the extent of their brother's military training.

"So are you guys gonna go back to bed now….for what's left of the night," Scott asked, though it was more a suggestion, a very strong suggestion actually.

But Virgil and John sat on, obviously in no hurry to go and glanced at each other meaningfully, causing Scott to glare with suspicion. "OK…what gives! What is it you think I haven't told you?" Scott sighed irritably, wanting just to get back to his bed, though whether he would sleep or not was a different matter.

"There's more….isn't there? Scott…..you were getting very distressed….calling out to 'leave them alone', that 'they hadn't done anything' and then you were going to….'kill them all with your bare hands'. Who were you talkin about, Scott…..leave who alone….and who did you want to kill?" Virgil urged with all the gentle coaxing he could.

At that Scott's agitation grew, cursing himself inwardly for being so vocal. "It…it's nothing. Now haven't you got enough from me," he snapped out, making it painfully obvious there was something deeply troubling to him and something else he found extremely difficult to talk about.

This was not the time to give up but rather remain resolute, the two boys nodding a silent affirmation that they would stay, no matter what. "You can't say it's nothing, Scott. I mean….one minute you're really upset about takin two guys out…..and the next….you're wanting to take a whole lot more out with your bare hands! What's going on, Scott….why would you want to do that?" John continued to coax gently.

Looking from one brother to the other Scott was beginning to feel as though everything around him was closing in, panicked almost, like he had felt at the airport. His breathing felt rapid and beads of perspiration stood out on his brow. "You…you wouldn't understand. I don't wanna talk about it," he replied, clearly annoyed.

"We want to try to understand, Scott…..if you'll let us…but we're not gonna leave you like this, buddy," Virgil replied with brotherly assurance.

His feeling of agitation grew. "What is this? Oh…I get it. We're doin 'good cop, good cop'. Let's pile on all the brotherly love….make Scott feel so overwhelmed he'll just feel the need to spill his guts. Well, maybe Scott's had enough of pukin his guts up…..talkin about stuff, I mean. Maybe Scott just doesn't want to think about it anymore," he let fly with a sudden barrage, laced with heavy sarcasm and quickly rectifying what he hadn't intended to say.

But they weren't put off that easily, feeling more than ever for their brother's pain. "Gawd, Scott…what did you see out there….it must have been real bad," John surmised sympathetically for his brother to let fly like that and remembering now the look of horror on his brother's face during his nightmares.

"Yeah…it was real bad…..the worst 'bad' you can imagine. Now just leave it at that," Scott quickly retorted, all too quickly, leaving them in no doubt it was not something he had conjured up in a bad dream. He turned his back on them to face the window and the darkened island, the blackness feeling heavy and pressing in on him and hoping they would take the hint and leave.

"Scott….we can't. We want to know what you're goin through, buddy," Virgil urged, all the time keeping his voice calm and imploring as he realised just how much of a struggle this was for his brother.

He hung his head and laughed, an empty, mocking laugh. "And you think my telling you what I saw will come anywhere close to helping you know what I'm going through!" Scott responded with dry sarcasm.

"It might be a start, Scott," John replied with all the brotherly tenderness he could.

"You want more of the truth, huh. You're that determined to have it……every ugly….gut-sickening detail," Scott went on, rounding on them with the rhetorical question. "Yeah….it was that bad. So bad your brother puked his gawd damn guts up all over that jungle the first chance he got," he spat out venomously, though it wasn't at his brothers but at the recurring scenes that now played in his head.

The two boys winced, recoiling at what they saw etched in their brother's face and knowing it wasn't directed at them, knowing that it must have, indeed, been pretty bad for their brother to have physically thrown up. "Go on, Scott," Virgil probed gently.

Scott turned back to the window. "There was a village nearby. I had to check it out….see if 'Charlie' was there….to know if it was safe," he began his reminisce, his face echoing the pain of what he remembered.

"And they were!" Virgil surmised, to which Scott nodded and from which both brothers concluded they were the subject of his brother's wrath.

"Yeah, they were there…..maybe about a dozen. They were looking for us…..but those people….they didn't know anything….I made sure we weren't seen. But 'Charlie' wasn't convinced…..they made those people pay…in the worst possible way," Scott went on, his voice now sounding cold and hard as his facial muscles tightened and flinched with anger and his fingers flexed into a fist.

The boys looked at each other, each silently trying to imagine what horrors he might have seen and wondering if they did really want to hear this but they had made a commitment. "Wh…what did they do, Scott?" John asked, coughing to clear his throat and feeling his mouth strangely dry.

"The old man was first…..the head-man….they had to make him an example……strike terror into the people….make them talk. That sword….it was the last thing he saw," was all Scott could say as he hung his head and closed his eyes tightly against the vivid memory, trying to shut it out. "And then they…they….they….," he struggled to say, breaking out into a cold sweat and unable to bring himself to say anymore.

John and Virgil took calming breaths to stem the automatic gagging reflex of the revulsion they felt. Even though Scott hadn't actually said the words they knew what he meant, it didn't take a genius. They had known, from watching old WWII movies, the way Orientals, such as the Japanese, executed some of their prisoners but had thought such barbaric practices were well and truly confined to the past. They now knew different for their brother had seen it with his own eyes. And there was obviously more.

"What else did they do, Scott…..what did you see?" Virgil asked, his face full of concern.

But he had had enough, enough of the grilling and enough of remembering. He rounded on them, venting his deep frustration. "What! What do you want from me!" he cried out. "What do you think happens with soldiers on a blood-lust…in a village full of women….and young girls, huh? Do you want me to spell it out for you? Do you want me to draw you a gawd damn picture?"

No, of course not; he didn't need to. They knew exactly what he meant and they closed their eyes against the sickening images it conjured up but he hadn't finished just yet.

"And before you ask….yeah there was more…..more than I ever wanna remember….more than I ever wanna talk about…..and more than I'm ever going to tell you….so…so just don't ask. And yeah….I wanted to kill every gawd damn last one of them with my bare hands," he let fly with a final burst of passion, feeling they had heard enough.

"Scott….." John called out sympathetically, feeling his heart breaking for his eldest brother and glancing to Virgil. Both boys sensed that whatever the 'more' was it was obviously horrific and feeling they understood now the reason for the strength of passion of his last statement but that they were hardly likely to get anymore out of him and, perhaps they had pushed him enough for tonight. They automatically rose from where they were sitting, having patiently listened but now wanting to go and comfort their brother.

Knowing what they wanted to do, Scott put up his hands defensively and took a step backwards. "I said no more…..just leave it…..and I don't want your pity either." Feeling emotionally and physically drained now he crossed to his bed, eased himself face down and stretched out. "I'm tired……just so…gawd damn tired….," he breathed out as his eyes fell closed and any wonder. They had been up most of the night and now light was beginning to creep into the sky, in that period just before the dawn fully broke over the horizon.

John and Virgil found themselves yawning but felt unable to leave him, not after those revelations. They sat on the bed next to him and patted his arm in a comforting and reassuring gesture. "Scott…we don't wanna leave you. Look…we're gonna crash out on the sofa bed……if you need us……," Virgil told him, referring to the pull out sofa bed in Scott's lounge adjacent to his bedroom, feeling that they would be near at hand should he suffer a recurrence.

"W..h..a..t..e..v..e..r," Scott sleepily responded, past the point of caring what they did so long as they didn't bother him anymore.

Scott fell into a fitful and restless sleep, while the boys had gotten their duvets and pillows from their rooms, made themselves comfortable on their brother's sofa bed and promptly fell asleep.

Such was the long night they had all had that there were three noticeably absent places at the breakfast table next morning, giving Jeff some cause for concern. Their absence became the subject of some debate with Alan and Gordon sulkily concluding that their three oldest brothers had obviously had some kind of late night party that they were not invited too and how it would serve them right if they were suffering the effects of one big, fat hang-over.

Jeff, on the other hand, was far from convinced, knowing that even if his son had not heeded his advice from their talk the other morning that Virgil and John were sensible enough not to let him drink himself into oblivion. Still, he had to go and reassure himself that nothing was amiss, knowing too that his eldest son was in the habit of going out for a walk before breakfast but he had always returned.

So straight after breakfast, so as not to give anyone else cause for concern, Jeff entered Scott's suite and found two of his sons snuggled into their duvets on the sofa bed. After finding no empty bottles or glasses or any smell of alcohol Jeff couldn't help but smile to himself at his sons gentle snoring, though his smile faded when he realised they had probably come in to see their eldest brother through some nightmare and had not wanted to leave him.

Worriedly he headed into his eldest son's bedroom, breathed a sigh of relief and winced a smile. His son was still sprawled out on the bed in a seemingly sound sleep and Jeff concluded that he must have had a long and sleepless night for him finally to take the advantage of a lie-in. He sat carefully on the bed and for a few moments watched his son sleep before lightly stroking his forehead, causing Scott to stir a little. Not wanting to risk waking him Jeff left him and was able to reassure everyone the boys were just having a lie-in.

Some time later, around 11am, Virgil and John sleepily made their way into the kitchen to wake themselves up with a strong cup of coffee and toasted bagels, propping themselves up on their elbows at the kitchen table, before going to shower and dress.

"You seen Scott, Grandma?" Virgil asked casually, having already checked that Scott's bed was empty before they came out.

"Why yes boys….Scott was in here earlier and I fixed him up some breakfast. Mind you….he didn't eat much…..said he was going for a walk. I do hope that boy is all right…..he did seem to have a lot on his mind," she told them as she prattled away to herself.

Virgil and John shot each other a cursory glance, guessing he was away on one of his long walks along the beach and knowing they probably wouldn't see him now until lunchtime.

Lunchtime came and went, with no sign of Scott but it was thought that since he had a late breakfast he wasn't hungry enough for lunch. By late afternoon, though, when there was still no sign of him, John and Virgil started to become worried, fearing that, perhaps, they might have pushed him too far, too soon, last night and decided they were going to have to go and confess to their father what they had found out.

They found their father sitting at his desk, musing over a pile of corporate papers, though it had to be said his mind seemed far from his work. "Eh…Dad….we need to talk to you," Virgil ventured, wondering just how to broach the subject.

"Not now, boys. I've got other things on my mind. I'm worried about Scott….there's no sign of him," Jeff responded, obviously perplexed as to where his eldest son could be. Sure they were on an island so it wasn't as if he could get lost but he was still recovering from serious injury and the worry was he could have re-injured himself and be unable to contact anyone or what if he was suffering another serious flashback, which was something Jeff Tracy was very aware of. Having served in the Air Force himself he had seen it happen to other men, colleagues, strong and courageous men. Indeed, a flashback episode was nothing to be trifled with and could prove dangerous, depending on the experience.

The two boys exchanged glances. "Well…eh…that's what we want to talk to you about, Dad. We feel kind of responsible. We think we know why Scott might have gone off for a while," John explained, wincing a smile.

They now had Jefferson Tracy's full and undivided attention. After they had told him what had transpired the previous night he sank his head in his hand to rub at his temple and sighed heavily in resignation. So that was the reason for their late night and their lie-in. "Boys….boys….why couldn't you have just given him a bit of time."

"Dad…you know Scott. It wouldn't matter how much time you gave him…..in fact the longer he had the deeper he would have pushed it. He never would have talked willingly…..and we just wanted to help him…to try and understand what he had been through. Dad…we've been sitting with him through his nightmares every night since he got home….and they're not pretty. I guess we just couldn't stand to see him distressed anymore," Virgil explained with heartfelt sincerity, along with John's added agreement. "But we're sorry if we've pushed him too far."

Jeff nodded understandingly, knowing his sons only had their brother's best interest at heart. "Well, what's done is done. What we have to do now is find him and make sure he's alright," Jeff stated, assuming now his familiar authoritative role to which the boys wholeheartedly agreed. "Have you checked the house….everywhere in the house…..what about down in the hangars? Maybe he's down there having a look at the construction," he suggested, starting with the nearest proximity.

"He's not in the house, Dad….we've looked….and we checked the hangars," John informed him.

Just at that moment Kyrano brought in a tray of afternoon coffee and the conversation was brought to a halt.

"Thank you, Kyrano….that's just what we need. By the way…..you wouldn't happen to have seen Scott? He should be taking a rest right about now," Jeff asked, trying to convey casual fatherly concern.

"Why yes, Mr Tracy….I did see Mr Scott……right after his late breakfast…..he went for his walk," Kyrano informed him.

"And did he say where he was going, Kyrano? Or did you see where he went?" Jeff continued to probe, though trying not to give any cause for alarm.

"No…he did not say where he was going, Mr Tracy. He did not see me….I was in the garden but I did see where he went. Mr Scott took the north track," Kyrano replied in his usual polite and courteous manner.

The three men immediately shot each other alarmed glances. "The north track!" Jeff exclaimed, while trying to maintain a measure of composure. "Are you sure about that, Kyrano?" he asked again, wanting to make sure he had heard right. It seemed like Jeff's worst fears were about to be realised since the north track was the main track and led nowhere else but up into the jungle interior of the island and Scott hadn't ventured in there since he had been home, indeed, he had made excuses to avoid going in there. It seemed like a sure recipe for disaster.

"Why yes, Mr Tracy….Mr Scott took the north track…..of that I am certain. Is anything wrong, Mr Tracy? Is Mr Scott in some kind of trouble?" Kyrano assured him and asking out of kindly concern.

"No, Kyrano…no….Scott isn't in any kind of trouble. It's just I'm worried he might be overdoing it with his long walks," Jeff reassured him, returning him a smile. "Thank you, Kyrano….that will be all." And with that Kyrano left the lounge.

"We feel responsible, Dad…..Scott probably thinks he has something to prove to himself….that he can face going in there," Virgil apologised.

Jeff heaved a sigh. "Don't be boys. You haven't reminded him of anything that he's not already reminding himself of every day," Jeff re-assured them.

"Do you really think something has happened to him, Dad? He should have been back by now, shouldn't he?" John asked, now clearly worried for their brother.

"I hope not, Son….I hope not….and yes, he should have been back….which is why we've got to find him and find him quickly before it gets dark….although I've no doubt your brother could survive out there all night if he has a mind too," Jeff replied with some urgency. "Damn it, Scott…why are you doing this to yourself….you don't have to prove anything…or do this alone," he swore softly under his breath as he set about pulling the island's specs up on the computer plasma screen.

The two boys shared their father's anxiety. "You're worried about him having a flashback….aren't you, Dad?" Virgil asked, realising the cause for their father's urgency in finding him.

"Yes Son…I'm afraid I am," their father admitted with a heavy heart. "Your brother hasn't been in a jungle environment since they brought him out. Well….you know yourselves he's been avoiding going in there yet. So there's a strong possibility that it could trigger a very powerful response…..and that make your brother dangerous….so I need you two to be careful out there," he figured logically, causing Virgil and John to swap slightly alarmed glances. "And that reminds me…..where are Gordon and Alan? They're not outside, are they? We can't risk them finding out….and we've got to find him before they do…..or he finds them!" Jeff added, the worried tone in his voice all too clear, concerned that his youngest sons might have trekked over to the caves, one of their favorite pastimes when they got to be home.

"It's all right, Dad…they're down in the cinema watching a movie….and it's not long started….so they should be there a while," Virgil assured him to which Jeff breathed a sigh of relief. Then it was down to business, Jeff planning this with all the precision of a military operation, which would become his trademark when he got his 'little project' off the ground.

After diligently studying the 3D rotational image of the island, Jeff tapped in more detailed co-ordinates surrounding the north track, from which ran a series of other minor tracks. Virgil shook his head.

"Gee…this is gonna be like looking for a needle in a haystack…..Scott could be anywhere by now. How the hell are we supposed to find him…..he's the expert in all this survival stuff. If he doesn't want to be found he's just gonna melt into the background!" Virgil exclaimed anxiously to which his brother and father had to reluctantly agree.

"Yeah….like we could really do with Cass here on this one. I bet he could find Scott…no problem," John suggested, bringing a glimmer of a smile from the other two men.

"Yes boys, I know….but just do your best. You never know….he might have left a clue…or something as to where he's headed," Jeff responded hopefully to which the boys looked more than dubious.

"I doubt that, Dad….Scott's the expert here…remember!" John replied realistically.

"Ok then…..let's start with where we know he was…..the north track…..," Jeff began, tracing his finger along the enhanced image of the map.

"M.m.might I make…um…a s.suggestion, M.Mr Tracy!" a sudden voice broke into their intense concentration, causing all three men to suddenly become startled and look up from the screen. So engrossed had they been in their task they had not heard Brains come into the lounge. "I p.presume you are…um…l.l.looking for S.Scott," he surmised.

Jeff heaved a sigh. Well there was no denying it for he had obviously heard and perhaps anyway, with his computer of a brain and his highly technical mindset, he could come up with something useful. "Yes Brains…we are looking for Scott…..I'm just worried he's been gone too long. So…what's your suggestion?"

After studying the digital map of the island for a few moments he spoke. "Well…a…M.Mr Tracy……it…it's m.my understanding…um that S.Scott was…a…heading for his LZ where he was…a…p.picked up. Now if he b.b.believes…eh…that he's b.back in that jungle it…it is quite p.p.possible he…he's..a…m.making for somewhere that…um…reminds him of that landing zone," Brains concluded with his oh so simple logic.

A slow grin spread across the boy's faces. "Yeah…you're right, Brains. His objective was to get to the LZ, to get home…..and since this is the only clearing in the interior….I'll bet that's where he headed for….that's where he'll be," Virgil responded excitedly, tapping his finger at the spot on the map. "Brains….you're a genius," he added with a grin, planting a smacker on the young scientist's forehead, followed by John, making Brains redden with embarrassment.

"Yes well…um…I d.did come to…a…tell you, M.Mr Tracy that a s.s.storm was heading this way. It…it is due to h.hit the…a…island in just o.o.over an hour but we w.will probably…um…get rain b.before then," Brains went on to inform them.

"Oh great….just great. This gets better and better," John exclaimed in sarcasm.

"Then that makes it all the more imperative we find Scott soon. We don't want him winding up with pneumonia or another fever," Jeff responded with much concern.

"If you'll…a…excuse me one m.m.moment," Brains interrupted and then promptly disappeared, leaving them wondering at the suddenness of his actions but right now they had more pressing things on their minds, like formulating their plan.

"All right, boys…that might narrow down our search a bit….but he could still be anywhere along this route and there are several tracks that lead to that clearing. I still want you to be careful…understand?" Jeff insisted, followed by assured nods from the boys.

Within a short time Brains had returned, with the two boys exchanging shocked and disbelieving looks at what he had just placed in their hands.

"You CAN'T be serious, Brains. Dad!" Virgil exclaimed, looking first to Brains and then to his father. "You can't expect us to SHOOT him….shoot our own brother!" For what Brains had placed in their hands was a highly advanced looking, short-barrelled weapon.

And somewhere, out there in the jungle interior, lay an emotionless young man, hidden and concealed. 'They' were out there, 'they' would be looking for him but he had absolutely no intention of letting anything get in his way. Nothing, or no one, was going to get in the way of his getting home. NO ONE!