Okay… I'm back… sorry for the long update. SORRY!! I'm simply horrible…

--

Dib watched Zim at lunchtime. He was grim, an unbendable observer.

Zim stared at him back. There was a strangely triumphant smirk curling on the Irken's face, and his eyes seem to glitter with hidden amusement.

Anise watched them both. However, instead of the usual quietly amused smile on her face, there was a frown.

What had she done? Quietly, she muttered, "Gaz."

Gaz, who was playing her Gameslave 2, gave a grunt that, Anise supposed, meant, "I'm listening."

The skeletal girl fidgeted. Then she whispered, keeping her eyes on Dib and Zim, "I made a mistake."

Gaz's eyes widened abruptly for one full second. Her fingers paused on the Gameslave, and, in a voice of deadly menace, she hissed, "Don't tell me you're backing out."

"What?" Anise's own eyes had widened; though she would never admit it, she did find Gaz to be very intimidating. "No, no; I mean I made a mistake in the plan… I did something I shouldn't have done." She tried to make her voice calm, but there was a slight tremor in her voice.

"You did something you shouldn't have…?" Gaz's voice was slightly shaking in fury, and an eye twitched. "Anise… don't you remember how much this plan means to me…? What I could actually get out of it if it succeeds…?" And here she put down her Gameslave 2 and faced Anise, eyes venomously threatening. "And don't forget what you could get out of it if it fails…"

"Yes, yes, I know!" replied Anise hastily. "Just… just leave it all up to me! I could handle it."

Gaz paused. Then she picked up her Gameslave 2 again. "… You better hope so, for your sake," she muttered darkly.

Anise sighed, more out of relief than anything. "I know."

--

Zim walked out of school, his step light and his countenance cheerful. Dib watched him go, a slightly puzzled look on his face. "Zim seems awfully happy today," he mused aloud to himself. "Ever since this morning, actually…"

Ever since he talked to Anise, actually… if Zim likes Anise, then that strengthens my plan, actually… if I pretend to like her, he would get rightfully jealous, and…

But there was something Dib didn't like about that. Perhaps it was the 'pretending-to-like-Anise' part.

Yeah… that was it.

"Hey, Dib! Stop talking to yourself!" That… was unmistakably Gaz's voice. And sure enough, when Dib turned around, there was his sister, in all her purple-haired glory. Right beside her was Anise, in all her black-haired glory.

"Ah… hi, Gaz. Hi… Anise." Dib wondered how he could sound more enthusiastic about meeting the painfully thin girl. Perhaps a loud "Hi, Anise!" would do. But then that would probably be annoying. So maybe a cool, suave, "Hey."

Or… maybe he should just stick with what he had now.

Smiling, and knowing damned well that he probably looked like he was being force-fed congealed radioactive human blood, Dib walked up to the two girls. For some odd reason, the moment he reached them, Gaz walked away, her steps stiff and her hands swiftly opening her Gameslave, leaving Dib alone with Anise.

Joy.

"Um… why did Gaz just walk away?"

Anise shrugged. "I don't know. She's your sister."

"Yeah, she is… oh, well. She's Gaz."

"Yep."

"Mm-hm."

An awkward silence ensued. Dib awkwardly scratched the back of his head, and Anise awkwardly stared at him silently. An awkward wind blew, and a chihuahua awkwardly trotted past.

Suddenly, as if on a burst of inspiration, Anise blurted out, "Hey, want to go stalk Zim?"

"Huh?!" That had to be the last thing Dib was expecting from Anise… well, from anyone, actually. He stared at her disbelievingly. "What?"

Anise's face twisted, as if she had to force her next words out of her mouth. "I said, 'Want to go stalk Zim?'"

"What?"

"I said, 'Want to go stalk Zim?'"

"…what?"

"I said-- UGH! Never mind, just come with me!"

Anise started dragging Dib by the collar of his trench coat. "Come on," she ordered. "We're going to find Zim."

"But… but why?" Dib winced. He couldn't help but sound whiny.

"Isn't that what you wa-- I mean, because Zim is an alien, and he's out to… destroy the world!" She coughed.

Dib looked at Anise. Was he hearing this right? He was so stunned that he failed to realize that the girl's cough was actually an attempt to cover up a laugh.

"You're… you're serious? Really?"

Anise nodded, her face appearing serious indeed. But only appearing. Just… appearing.

Dib's face cleared, much like a sun breaking through the clouds. "Wow, this is great! Together, we'll vanquish the world of this alien menace! No longer will I be alone!" Dib shrugged Anise's hand off his collar and raised a finger up to the stars in a classical I-am-making-an-important-victorious-speech pose. "Working together, we will--" Then he paused and cast a suspicious eye at Anise. "Hey, you're not faking this, are you, like that guy Mr. Dwicky?"

Anise shook her head resolutely. She had no idea who Mr. Dwicky was, but oh, well.

"Okay, then." Dib raised an eyebrow at her. "Huh, I guess you're alright after all."

A bit of candor crept into Anise's voice. "What? Did you first think I wasn't all right?"

"Oh, no, no! What I meant was… er…" The boy looked desperately around. "Um… let's just go find Zim!"

"…fine," muttered Anise grudgingly.

She just wanted to get this over with.

--

"Oh! There he is…"

"That little alien freak, I'm going to rip his--"

"Whatever, Dib. Just shut up, and keep your sexual fantasies to yourself."

"Oka-- wait! I'm not--"

A sigh. "Aren't you going to take pictures of him?"

"He's too far away. Wait until he approaches this bush."

"…whatever."

Anise peered out from behind the bush and saw the small green figure that was Zim. She could hear indistinct yelling coming from him, and assumed that he must be talking aloud to himself again.

He's as crazy as Dib, Anise thought contemptuously. They're both crazy.

Out loud, she remarked, "He's coming nearer…"

Dib stuck his head out of the bush to look. Out of the side of his mouth, he muttered, "Okay, Anise, when he comes, jump out of the bush and throw this water balloon at him." He produced a neon green balloon out of the pocket of his trench coat, handing it to Anise. In a gleeful voice, he added, "He'll be screaming in pain! I'll take a picture of him before and after the water hit him. And then, hit him with this rock. He'll be unconscious, and then we could remove his disguise--"

"Whoa, whoa, wait." The girl turned and stared at Dib oddly. "I'm not undressing him."

There was an immediate loud squawk of protest from Dib. "We're not undressing him! We're removing his disguise!"

"I-- okay, well--" Then Anise stopped. It won't really matter now, she supposed.

She ducked back into the bush. "Zim's closing in," she reported. Indeed, the Irken was approaching their bush at alarming speed.

"Five… four… three…" Dib intoned underneath his breath, peeking through the leaves at the approaching alien. "… two… one… Anise, go!"

What happened next had to be one of the most confusing moments that ever happened, and would ever happen, in Dib's life. The girl next to him did not jump out of the bush as he had instructed, but rather, she clamped a hand around Dib's mouth, effectively silencing him. She carefully pierced the water balloon with a fingernail, dropped it on the ground, leaving it to trickle water out uselessly, and started moaning.

"Oh, Dib, you animal! You're too much!" Suddenly she gave a giggle that was actually supposed to sound coy. "No, eek, you--! Oh, Dib, you silver-tongued devil!"

Eyes wide, Dib could only stare at the girl in growing mortification and bewilderment and let out a confused, "Mmmph…?"

Anise looked like she had swallowed a lemon. A rotten, worm-eaten lemon dipped in stomach acid.

What followed was even worse.

Anise latched herself onto his neck and-- Dib swore he heard her mutter, "Dear God, forgive me" underneath her breath-- kissed him full on the mouth.

"Mmmph…!"

He was suffocating. And fast. Dear God, was he going to die? No, he had so much to live for!

Dimly, he heard Zim exclaim, "Dib?! Is that you?"
--

That may have been as confusing as heck. Or it may have been as clear as a clear-cut crystal.

Oh, well. I hope you enjoyed that, and once again, I'M SO VERY SORRY!

I'm hoping to have this story finish in a few more chapters or so… but plans almost never end up going the way one wishes them to.

Ah, well…