Nexus


an idiot's guide to the female mind

Sequel to Forced Love. You might not get it if you don't read Forced Love first…! And dropping in reviews isn't so bad either…

Uhmm… few notes:

Uhmmm… Italicized parts are flashbacks and they are way far from the setting now. Though they were after the whole miscarriage thing. And that's pretty much it. More details on how to read my retarded story will follow as you get along with the story.

And if you see words misspelled or see wrong grammar-ifications on this fic. Don't worry. It is an impish scheme made by the sweet potatoes to baffle you, so that they can rule the world.

They forced me to so don't hurt me.

quote for the day!!:

"An a apple a day…is not an apple at night."

Reviews people. Reviews. I desperately need them.

Disclaimer: see? It says Disclaimer, isn't it obvious that I don't own Naruto?


Number 374: when rejected on having a date, two things could possibly explain this.

First, she doesn't like you. (or is with someone else)

"eh? Go out? Demo sa Sasuke-kun, I was hoping to make a lovely dinner with all this stuff I brought." Sakura pouted.

Second, —and most stupid reason— she doesn't quite get that you actually are flirting with her. (do you even know how

"… I just felt like it… so uhmm… will you come?" Sasuke said biting his lip.

Number 612: never, EVER, ruin a woman's dinner. It is the common male sin.

"ahh… well, since you said so"

"I've changed my mind. Let's just prepare dinner already, I'm starving" Sakura then looked at him with worried eyes. His grip tightened around her shoulders. Tension builds at an incredibly fast rate.

"you… ok?"

Number 158: females get weirded out if one changes his mind ever so often. They often are very suspicious. Very

"have you been sleeping well Sasuke-kun? Too much training? Stress? Tell me Sasuke-kun." She said placing the back of her palm on his forehead.

"I'm alright, I think I'm just having PMS." He replied taking hold of her hand.

Number 35: women are very sensitive. Don't go into touchy subjects. (will worsen if you 'happen' to talk to her during her time of the month)

"don't just PMS, Sasuke-kun." Sakura said as she giggled, worry gone.

"gomen, gomen."

Then Sasuke placed the grocery bags on the counter. And helped Sakura arrange the items.

Number 10: be the ever gentle, gentleman. (depends if said female would like you to be one, in bed most probably.)

"Sasuke-kun, where's the ladder?" Sakura asked back facing him. Hands griping on the cans of tuna and meatloaf to be placed at the shelf —something someone her height can't reach

"here…" then Sasuke leaned at her back to reach the canned goods by her hand and placed the cans neatly inside.

"sankyu"

!!000!!000!!

"man, Sasuke owes me another one." Naruto panted.

!!000!!000!!

Number 454: women likes good cooks. (or most likely… a 'sexy-cooking-dude')

"wahhh!! Sasuke-kun!! That smells sooo good!!"

"really now?"

"yyyeeeeesssssssss!! You're going to make a perfect husband! Sasuke-kun!" Sakura squealed.

Too bad (or is it?) that SOMETHING went noticed by the pinkette, who by the way is drooling at how good smelling the food is, or is amazed of how he can cook while she (probably, but I haven't said that I was stating a fact.) can't…

It

Was

That

Sasuke

blushed.

still no reaction from Sakura…

Wait, wait, wait…

Pause and rewind.

Sasuke blushed.

AND SHE DIDN'T REACT… AT. ALL?!

DAMMIT!! WHY WON'T SHE BLUSH OR SOMETHING?!

Hello, hello, Sasuke's ego speaking.

this is wrong…

sooo wrong…

Sasuke's brain cells: (let's name them Joe and Joe2, shall we?)

Joe: we have a problem!! Girl number 777 isn't responding to the Sasuke charm!!

Joe2: this is critical! Find the reason why!! And fast!! We now have a decrease in the never ending list of fangirls!! The Chick alluring system has been breached! I repeat, the chick alluring system has been breached!!

--chaos--

Joe: Sasuke isn't responding!! Mental breakdown!! Evacuate!!

was she… unattracted… to… him…?

it only meant one thing…

Number 666: there is a very, very common male-to-female repulsion and that is if THY MALE IS…

U.N.C.O.O.L.

and there it hit him.

"AGGHHHH!! SASUKE-KUN!! THE FOOD!! IT'S BURNING!!"

of whatever happened that resulted to Sasuke's unexplained behavior… the world might never know.

.o.0:in Akatsuki base:0.o.

"OH WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT'S HE TRYING TO FUCKING DO? THAT BASTARD!! IS HE TRYING TO FUCKING BURN THE FRICKIN' PLACE?! IF HE WANNA BURN HIS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING HOUSE THAT BIOTCH BETTER GET SAKURA FAR AWAY FROM IT!! THAT'S JUST BULLSHIT SASUKE!!" Sasori screamed more indecent words to let even the birds cover their ears.

"oh wow danna, you've pulled off the 1000 hit mark in just one day. That's way far from Hidan's record of 1000 curses in one whole week. Un!" The blonde Akatsuki squealed with delight.

"oh you have got to fucking kid me! Don't tell me that whiny asshole… out potty-mouthed me!!" the ever-so-faithful silver haired Jashin worshipper ranted. "Jashin-sama, I am in a crisis right now, please give me strength to overcome my trials… Jashin-sama…"

"oh but he did. If only those swears would actually make money, we'd be millionaires." Kakuzu butted in, money in hand. "one hundred seventy eight… seventy nine…"

"Sasori-san's not being such a good example. He should be like Tobi because Tobi is a good boy!!" the guy-with-the-swirly-orange-mask dude instructed.

"yeah yeah, you know what Tobi… YOU PISS ME OFF!! GET YOUR FUCKING EXCUSE FOR A FACE OUTTA MY WAY!!" Sasori, once again, reigned over kingdom expletive.

"tada! New record!! Un! A thousand and one… and still counting! un!" Deidara said happily as his pony-tailed hair swished around looking like a feather duster.

"Congratulations Sasori-san" the white part of Zetsu suddenly said (Zetsu's real self before the Venus flytrap thingy, as Deidara in Forced Love told us, 'deflowered' him) "was that an insult or what?" the black (and supposedly known as the Venus flytrap) part retorted.

"I miss the old, silent Sasori" Itachi suddenly butted in.

"why'd he started being like this again?" Kisame joined in.

when did Kisame learned how to use something so complicated let's say a BRAIN this time?

"it's because danna said: if he talks and talks and talks and tell us all about what's goin' on inside his mind, Sakura-chan won't hear them. un." Deidara then flashed a sickening smile.

"I thought your memory block jutsu won't let her remember you? So wouldn't that —technically speaking— make her not know you? So why would she care?" Kisame stupidly asked. Fiddling with Itachi's hair.

OK. So even if Kisame DID use his brain, it would be malfunctioning

"well for starters… WOULDN'T YOU GET WEIRDED OUT IF YOU SUDDENLY HEAR A VOICE IN YOUR HEAD CURSING AND STUFF?! WOULDN'T THAT PERSON GO INSANE?! DUMBASS!!" Sasori shouted waving his hands at all directions burning Kisame with his stare.

Seems that Kisame's brain was a reject. And to think sharks were supposed to be smart

"also, the memory block is only for the time she was kidnapped until the time I sent her back. So she thinks of me as dead as she 'killed' me before. And if she hears me, because of our connection, she'll think that a s-class missing nin is conversing through her mind! And that would totally ruin the she-forgets-me-because-I-want-to mystique." Sasori reasoned as if he predicted that this would happen and practiced his speech ages ago. It really takes skill for one to be screaming then go relaxed right after. Multitalented bitches. Akatsuki is like… special

Well that's because this isn't the first time someone asked him.

"Am I right, Itachi-san?" he glanced at Itachi who also glanced back.

"hn"

Sasori has a great debt to Itachi… a real big one. After all, he did help with the Sakura thing.

(which does not actually make sense. The authoress confuses you all, that's how fanfiction works… you get confused, makes review of your amusing discovery that you haven't discovered anything at all, makes author happy because someone actually reviewed, gives retarded author a reason to continue fic, fanfiction website gets fat from all the stories submitted, said website farts and along with it is that fanfiction's enormous ass releases shit –a.k.a. flames- and burns authors' spirits and the said ego-declined author stops writing, making fanfiction anorexic, then another story with WORDS comes in and confuses you again and the cycle repeats itself. Of the reason we got to that topic is for the authoress to confuse you –again- … ok that was a lie… authoress just wants more… WORDS… see the WORD 'WORD/S' are in all caps? I did that so I can tell you guys that they are in all caps… so I get more WORDS… ha! Got you)

"… Sasori my back is sore"

"I'LL COME TO MASSAGE YOU THEN!!" Sasori did what he just told. "how about this? Start on your lower back? Want some candles while we're at it? Swedish massage or would you just want my ultra special Sasori massage I made especially just for you?"

Just what happened to these guys??

.o.0:in somewhere…:0.o.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepp!!

Cockroach at nine o' clock…

Approaching

Approaching

Bingo

Swatted by the all trusty bedroom slipper

"oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" Sakura screamed

"that's a big one"

"ugh… uhmm… yeah"

"you alright?"

"no"

"… you're so … heavy"

then that's the time Sasuke jumped off of Sakura's arms.

o.0

"ARGHHHH!!"

"SASUKE-KUN!! WAKE UP!!" –splosh- there, the damn cold water just jolted him out of his slumber "OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!! WAAAAKE UPPPP!!"

Who knew the 'Uchiha Sasuke' still had baby nightmares. The 'Oh that giant potato is gonna kill me!! No!!' kind.

Yeah, total humiliation

"Sasuke-kun I was so worried a-and you were jerking all around a- an- and I went to panic mode and j-just splashed water on you!!" Sakura managed to explain even with an unorganized brain waving her hands all around as if fighting with countless flies. Hair a mess. Speech a mess. But hey, she looked so damn sexy.

"Yeah, I kinda realized that" At least even if showered down with cold water, he still kept his cool. Maybe.

"Sasuke, have you been feeling ok?—" with the honorifics gone, it only meant one thing. Sakura turned to Medic mode. Dun dun dun dun "—as far as I know you've been eating fine.—" Then she rested the back of her palm against his forehead. "—you don't seem to have fever too…—" She now then got her scrunchie which she uses as some kind of bracelet and was about to tie her hair

"now, now, I'm perfectly fine… just a bad dream that's all…" Sasuke grabbed her wrists, he knew when she ties her hair, it means check-up. And no, his pride is too high for him to get a check-up.

"but…"

"I'm fine"

"but"

"I just had a weird dream"

"but"

"nothing's wrong with me"

"but"

"please…(?)"

"but"

"I'll treat you Dangos… (?)"

"I see we have absolutely no problem here, you're in good shape"

Bribery.

Sweet.

So when he said life was being such a bitch to him he lied, because truth is he liked some things about the world. It's not all unfair… isn't it?

"What you doing lying down all day?! Me and my dangos are waiting! Hurry up and get dressed!!" Sakura yelled as she forcefully pushed him off his bed. "you don't keep a lady waiting!! Where are your manners?!"

Ok maybe it was.

.:AbCdEfGhIjlMnOpQrStUvWxYz:.

'Sasuke, you are such a whiny ass,

but you are MY whiny ass not to mention THE sexiest ass!!'

Yep, another billboard sign across Konoha.

What's new about Sasuke? Well same old, same old… there was the usual, never-ending screaming and throwing of lingerie… the typical 'I love you', 'have my babies', or 'I got gay because of you' posters and signboards… not forgetting the occasional 'look Sasuke, I cut myself! I'm emo now, just like you! Date me please?!'… and of course, the total display of fandom skill (or of obsession maybe)… the underwear snatching.

That's life.

Life for Sasuke at least.

Well Sakura's ain't much different

The catcalls, the continuous glares, the never ending flirtation, seduction and the such, and the very romantic and not to mentoion very gentleman-like flowers which is proving very hard to keep especially when every single day it covers particularly almost everywhere she steps foot on. All over her house, office, and even bathroom. Types of suitors also range from I-love-you-please-marry-me-and-I'm-really-just-making-a-fool-of-myself-right-now kind like the not so subtle about courting –Lee-, to the shy, mysterious suitors who like it better to stay along the far-end corners avoiding the Uchiha's 'death glare'… Sasuke, a.k.a. 'the-friend-but-not-more-than-one', 'THE bodyguard' and, 'Sakura's boyfriend wanna-be'

Yep, that really was life.

"I swear, those billboards get crazier and crazier each day." Sakura giggled as the two stroll along the streets of Konoha, after the dango treat she still has enough energy to laugh even after the whole running-because-more-than-half-of-whole-population-is-after-you (or rather your ass) thing.

"hn. Well… you get your suitors richer and richer every time. Improving yes, but no, I won't let you date" Sasuke said pointing to the wondrous bouquets of exotic flowers (but not really getting anywhere close to it, which was also good for the plant too. I mean, the plant IS already suffering from Sasuke's stares as he was having this DESTROY and BURN intent in his eyes, if he ever came any more close he might eventually strangle the poor guy/plant to death) which is really hard to find and cultivate, and it's winter! Only reeeally big time business tycoons or drop dead rich kids could ever. EVER. Afford THAT. And of course, that means serious competition.

"do you have any plans on letting this extremely wonderful lady a chance to even date?!" protective much. Yes, he is sweet but as for Sakura, he is just like a brother. No more no less.

"frankly, no"

yeah, so much for that ideal big brother

"oh well, I guess I'd have to run away with my man and get away from you to prevent me from growing old without a boyfriend!" Sakura said raising her head up high. She remembered doing something similar… it was when this good-looking new intern (exceptionally talented too) asked her out. Polite, well-mannered he was the ideal boyfriend, they could have been more than friends had it been that Sasuke wasn't sneaking around meddling with other's business.

One annoying prick he is.

After he went to have a 'talk' with potential boyfriend, the victim practically apologized to Sakura in every possible language ever made because the way he talked to her was so jumbled up that it sounded something like French intersecting with Japanese Brit speak (Sasuke was standing right behind him counting how many seconds he wasted in babbling perfect gibberish) and there… after the little incident, he was never seen in Konoha EVER again. (rumors has it that he now resides within a mental asylum, and is last seen running away screaming: PLEASE DON'T! HE'LL HURT ME IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER!!, to any pink item within range)

"you can't pass through me"

"ugh. You and your ego. I HAVE no chance of winning against you AT ALL!" she spat sarcastically. They were heading towards Yamanaka flower shop to drop the flowers. Yeah, no matter how beautiful (AND expensive) they were they were never allowed to enter the Uchiha manor. Reason is:

Sasuke is allergic to flowers.

Yeah, RIGHT

"good to hear that we have things clear" he said as he opened the glass doors of the flower shop.

'Die Uchiha. Just die. THEN I'll be waiting at your funeral throwing you lots and lots of flowers... let's see if you really ARE allergic to them!'

scary and totally unintelligent inner Sakura groaned. Then, plans on the killing of the Uchiha for fun at the back of the enormous space in Sakura's mind. THEN, real Sakura snaps back to reality. She was at the flower shop already… and what? No blonde, flirtatious, busty woman making out greet her best friend of a forehead?

"INO?! Ino-pig?!"

achoo

"god, where is that woman? I can't stay in this flower infested place"

"shut up" that earned him a hard cold glare from Sakura "Inno-chaannn?? You here??"

achoo

"Ino-chaannn…?" now, you CAN NOT resist that voice.

"she's not here, why don't we just burn it"

"NO NEED I'M RIGHT HERE!!" now, he just knew she wouldn't last long especially if it includes flowers

conniving bitch

"another set of flowers?" a sweet low voice inquired… almost as if Sakura was a robot to recognize voice patterns she twirled so fast that only a blur of pink past Sasuke's eyes (and imagine, his eye's were supposed to see fast moving objects. Sad.) and sprinted towards the voice… the voice of…

"SAIIII!!" after the ear deafening shout THEN comes the BONE BREAKING hug

Sai is one lucky guy

"owowowucchhh"

"oh sorry."

"really now?"

"no, not really"

"that's cold"

"but I did miss you though"

"now we're talking"

"and did you miss your ever so cute little sister (a.k.a.) me?"

"nope, never thought anything about a pink haired obnoxious sister on my mission"

"JERK!"

Sai –being the ever so lucky guy- just met his best friend (again), which happens to be Sakura's fist.

Yes… the normal routine, Sai comes from mission, meets 'little sister', makes 'little sister' mad, gets (another) skin… discoloration, goes away from psycho sister, leaves on a mission… and yes, the cycle repeats itself.

'Oh well, I am her big brother…'

Sai reflected as he saw the Uchiha and his (you'll know why I made her be his 'sister'… if I don't get lazy to write it in the next chapters…) sister arguing about flowers… and more flowers. 'I guess they are—'

"achoo!, let's go now!"

"no! Sai-niisan just came! If you want to leave THEN leave!"

'—talking about flowers...'

"now, now break it up! You two will NOT survive without each other, oh well, better get out of my shop and there you could bond with each other more!" the blonde protested

"OK! OK! HERE HAVE THE FLOWERS YOU'LL LIKE IT!" Sakura managed to say as she was literally being pushed towards the door along with Sasuke, by of course… the mad Ino.

"I SWEAR SASUKE! IF I GET THESE KIND OF FLOWERS I'D BE DYING TO DATE THAT GUY!" Ino shouted… still shoving the two out of her shop.

"WHATEVER" Sasuke yelled… yelled, (which he does not usually do) because they were all yelling might as well yell too.

"BYE NIISAN! DROP OVER SOME TIME! LATER!" was the last words Sakura managed to yell as she was trying to keep the door open from the clutches of 'the mad Ino'

Then after being forcefully pushed by Ino to stay away from her shop the two started to argue again.

"Man, they're like an old retarded couple" Ino suddenly said to no one in particular

Sai being the only one inside the shop thought he was being talked to and was supposed to reply back

"yeah, they're more like old farts arguing" Sai said crossing his arms and leaning on the counter

"won't you advice them? You are Sakura's self-proclaimed brother anyway" Ino inquired giggling thereafter

'…just… a brother'

"she can handle it"

"but she's like… blind"

"then let Sasuke handle it"

"he's more of a prick than of a… well, he's totally different from lee"

"he can't possibly suppress his hormones for too long"

"works for me"

'stupid Sasuke' If Sai was him, he'd actually confess right there and then (with grace that is, both Sai and Sasuke are… shy) I mean… he got Sakura at the palm of his hands and what if she leaves…? It's bad enough that even now he won't confess to her… what's worse is if he don't make it quick, Sai might—

"hey, say… wanna have lunch?" Sai suddenly asked

not wanting to ruin their bonds, Sai thought if he can't get his first choice… might as well get the second.

"oh, yeah sure"


author's retarded notes:

oh yeah, suuuppppeeeeerrrrrrrrr bad case of author's block…

I know I suck don't press it on too much

And why is this chapter confusing? Every chapter IS confusing just thought that that would be this fic's trend

And Sasori knew that Sasuke burned the food because he can you know connect with Sakura's mind… so MAYBE Sakura thought something like… 'WTF? THE food!! It's awesomeness all gone!! And here I thought Sasuke can cook! Now the place is BURNING!' or something retarded like that

OF WHY SAI WAS INSIDE INO'S FLOWER SHOP… I HAVE NO IDEA OF.

OF WHY INO WAS SOMEWHERE IN HER SHOP THAT MADE SAKURA LOOK FOR HER… I ALSO HAVE NO IDEA OF.

OF WHY BOTH OF THEM APPEARED AT THE SAME TIME… I AM TOTALLY CLUELESS ABOUT.

OF WHY I USE ALL CAPS AGAIN… TO IRRITATE YOU DUH

And to test how much you paid attention to my little fic here, have you noticed this?:

.:AbCdEfGhIjlMnOpQrStUvWxYz:.

Have you noticed the letter K was missing?

Just testing

-Kaila-chan