The silence engulfed the room the only sounds were the ticking of the clock and Betty finishing the replacement of Brooke's IV drip. It wasn't until she was gone that Brooke finally found her voice. "I shot myself?" Peyton looked up and gave a terse nod. "I shot myself." This time it wasn't a question, it was more of Brooke testing it out. She'd never thought of herself as suicidal here was proof. She touched her scar. And she would be carrying that proof around for the rest of her life. She suddenly felt dirty. "That's why Nathan's angry with me," she surmised.

"He…" Haley coughed to make her voice stronger. "He thinks you were selfish. His words, not mine. He wishes you would have thought about Lucas or me or Jamie before you…." She didn't finish, instead biting her knuckle. "Did you?"

"Did I what?" Brooke tried not to sound harsh.

"Think about Jamie before you did it." Brooke racked her brain. Did she? Did she think of the poor boy she would be leaving behind without a godmother before she pulled the trigger? Did she think of the two best friends sitting before her or was she selfish like Nathan said? Did she think of Lucas, her husband?

"I…I don't know," Brooke replied honestly. Haley nodded with a sniffle.

"I'm really sorry Brooke, but I've got to go pick up Jamie…I'll see you tomorrow." Without looking back, Haley rushed from the room.

"She took it really hard," Peyton told Brooke. "After you did it for some reason she felt responsible. Like maybe she put too much pressure on you with Jamie. I don't know." Silence seemed to be the theme of the day.

"Did you take it hard?" Peyton inhaled deeply and then wiped at her eyes.

"You bet I did Brooke. I found you. I came over to pick you up to go shopping. You didn't answer the door and I let myself in. I started freaking out when you didn't answer my calls to you. So I went up to your room and there you were. Lying there on the floor. Your eyes looking back at me but not really seeing. And then I saw the blood and the gun in your hand. I tried to feel for a pulse, but I was shaking too badly. I called 911 and then Lucas. And then I waited. I sat there for fifteen minutes. Alone with my dying best friend and there was nothing I could do. So yeah Brooke, I took it hard." Brooke blinked a few times to stifle the tears. Flashes of blue and suitcases. Then there was blood and Brooke saw herself, lying on the floor waving goodbye.

"I'm sorry," Brooke whispered. Peyton looked at the mournful look on her friends face.

"I thought I'd lost you Brooke. I don't know what I'd do without you." Peyton stood up and in one swift motion had got into the bed with Brooke. Brooke wrapped her arms around her sobbing best friend. "Why'd you do it Brooke?" Peyton gasped between sobs.

"I don't know," Brooke replied for the second time that day. And as she clung to her best friend a small tear rolled down her cheek onto Peyton's curls.

Blood everywhere. A bang. The gun felt cold in her hand. Suitcases. Blue. Brooke opened her eyes. Her room was dark, a quick glance at the clock revealed that it was midnight. Then Brooke heard stirring in the corner. "You're awake," a voice said. Brooke saw the faint outline of her husband getting out of his chair. "Haley called me, told me that the nurse told you what happened. I had the nurses give you a strong sedative so that you could sleep." Brooke teared up for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"Lucas, why did I do it? I mean I had the fairy tale life and I just threw it all away. Was all the perfection too much for me to handle?" There was no response, but Brooke saw Lucas moving closer. "Lucas?"

"You didn't do it."

"Excuse me?"

"Shoot yourself." Lucas's shadow was standing over her bed now. "You weren't suicidal Brooke. Scratch that, you might have been when you married me."

"What are you talking about?" Lucas gave a hollow chuckle and Brooke felt inexplicably scared. She tried to sit up, but the sedative was doing it's job and she felt sluggish.

"We had a good run you and I. In high school we were the couple that everyone wanted to be. And then you had to go and ruin it." Brooke saw as Lucas's shadow moved back and forth across her room.

"R…ruin it?" she stammered. Lucas stopped.

"You got pregnant."

"I have a…" Lucas cut her off

"No, you lost the baby."

"This happened towards the end of senior year?" Lucas nodded. That was what her body was trying to protect her from. She had lost a child. Was that what drove her to shoot herself? But Lucas had said that she didn't shoot herself. Then the memories began to flood back to her in waves.

"Do you remember what happened afterwards?" Lucas coaxed. And finally Brooke did. She saw herself screaming at Lucas as he stumbled home drunk for the fifth night in a row. She saw herself cowering in the corner as he threw things around the room.

"You began to drink."

"Yes. Yes. Apparently you're memory is not as bad as we all seemed to think. That's a shame." More memories. Bruises along her stomach. On her back. On her legs. Never where someone would see them. Lucas was too smart for that.

"You hit me. You hit me you son of a bitch!" Brooke sat up and reached for the call button, but Lucas sprang onto her bed, grabbing both of her wrists in one hand and covering her mouth with the other.

"Do you remember what happened next?" Lucas smiled at her, but it wasn't the smile of the Lucas she remembered. Instead it was replaced with a sadistic grin.

"Suitcases," Brooke mumbled through his hand.

"What was that?" Lucas leaned his ear into her.

"I said suitcases!" Brooke spat. Lucas put his hand back over her mouth as images filled her mind. Brooke was packing. She was finally leaving him. She heard a bang. She saw the blood. Then the cold of the gun in her hand. But that wasn't right. Shouldn't she have felt the gun before the blood? The panic must have showed in her eyes for Lucas's grin widened.

"Clearly you remember our last rendezvous together. I came home to find you packing, you were leaving me. But you couldn't leave me. The publishing company had just read my book and they were going to publish it. How could I tell them that I had hit that beautiful wife that I wrote that love story about?" He released her wrists and stroked her cheek. Brooke began to think, from the way he was positioned there was no way she could reach the call button, but if he moved a little to the left… "Obviously I couldn't let you telling the public that I was abusive. What would the people of our little town think of me? Not to mention think what that would do to the number of books I sold. So I had to get rid of you. It was so easy. You didn't even get a chance to put up a struggle. I know you, if you had the chance you would have fought me tooth and nail. And then I just planted the gun on you. Put away your suitcases. Made it look like a suicide. And then I went back to work where all I had to do was wait. When Peyton called me, you have no idea how excited I was. But when I got to the hospital they told me that you had survived. That I was lucky. Lucky!" Lucas let out a chuckle. He moved slightly to his right. Not the way Brooke needed him to. She tried to wiggle her wrists free, but he tightened his grip. "Lucky that the wife I had tried to killed had survived? I don't think so. So I played the grieving husband for a while, praying that you would never wake up. But leave it to Brooke Davis to screw up everything. Wake up you did. This time though, luck was on my side. You didn't remember a thing. I knew that eventually you'd put it all together. That's why I've come up with an alternative." Lucas shifted and jumped off the bed. Immediately, Brooke pressed a finger to the call button. "Brooke Brooke Brooke," Lucas said with a shake of his head. "Did you honestly think that little of me?" He reached a hand into his pocket. "I've got to say I'm a bit offended. I've disconnected your call button. There's no one to save you." Lucas pulled a needle from within his coat. "My alternative," he said with a leer. "And I assure you that this time you will not survive." He walked over to her IV. Brooke had never paid attention in school, what was he doing? "This time I will succeed." And with that he inserted the plunger into her IV.

But there was nothing in the needle what was an empty needle going to…and then it all clicked. Brooke saw the small air bubble making its way down the IV towards her arm. And if it reached her blood stream…Brooke tried to move her arm and rip the IV out, but with her slowed reflexes Lucas was quicker. He held her wrists with his hand. Brooke watched helplessly as the small bubble worked its way down the tube.

Her death loomed ever closer and finally the last four years came back to Brooke in a string of memories. All of the pain and sadness. Hiding everything from her friends. She hadn't even told them about the baby. She remembered hating Lucas not only for what he was doing but for making her feel weak. And then she remembered the last day. Only this wasn't a string of memories. It seemed as if her body, knowing she was going to die was giving her answers. Brooke watched in her mind as she threw clothes into the suitcase, ready to leave. She picked up her phone and was prepared to punch in Peyton's number when she turned. Lucas was standing in the doorway. He smiled at her and Brooke prepared to push him aside when she saw the gun in his hand. She screamed as he raised his hand and shot her. Then she was back in reality. The reality of her death.

"Goodbye Pretty Girl," the Lucas in her present whispered in her ear. He kissed her forehead and as the bubble finally reached her blood, Brooke saw more flashes. Suitcases. Blood. And then the blue. The blue of Lucas's eyes. Lucas. Her husband. Her killer. And then it all went black.

Well I hope that was good, it was just a little something that came to me. I'm feeling angsty lately because I've given up on Brucas. (Though after tonight's episode who knows what Lucas wants) So this was my not so happy Brucas story. Also I just have to say that tonight's episode featured my favorite One Tree Hill quote ever spoiler ahead if you didn't watch the episode don't read on

I warned you

Brooke: "I want a baby."

Peyton: "With me?"

Haha good times. Well hopefully this will get my creative juices flowing and I'll be able to write more for my Brooke story. Thanks for reading as always and please review.