For what you are to me
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Chapter 6:
Addicted to a memory
"Yuki. Yuki Kitazawa! Would you come take a look at this please?"
"Eh? Eiri, what's the matter?" The older boy leaned over the shoulder of the young blonde while he hunched over his notebook.
"I-I don't think this makes any sense, would you read it? Please?" The young blonde held out the notebook and the older boy took it.
The older boy scanned the page and fought hard to suppress a laugh. "Eiri, there's nothing wrong with what you wrote. The essay is very good." In truth the essay was beyond good, it could be considered flawless.
The older boy placed the notebook on to the desk, and moved around until he was in front of the younger blonde boy.
He cocked his head and his brown eyes shone. "Haven't I told you Eiri, that you should become a writer?"
The blonde's eyes widened in disbelief. "N-no."
The older boy smiled. "Well then. It's about time I told you. You definitely have the talent, and now all you need to do is focus. I can help you with that, Eiri. Would you like me to?"
The young blonde nodded. "S-sure!"
A child-like giggle escaped the young blonde's lips as the older boy reached down to pat the blonde's head.
Eiri Yuki, legally known as Eiri Uesugi, met his tutor when he was twelve years old.
It was Tohma who introduced the two, claiming that Yuki Kitazawa was one of the best tutors in all of New York.
Eiri's mind was immediately set at ease when he met the older boy. Yuki Kitazawa had warm brown eyes and emitted a gentle aura.
Yuki tutored Eiri every day, in all of his subjects. He did well with all of them, gaining a knack for absorbing the information, then spitting it back out with relative ease.
When Eiri was in New York, his days were spent exploring the city, with Kitazawa in tow; he being the naive twelve-year-old he was, Eiri did not notice the significant glances that his tutor sent his way…
ooooooooooo
Eiri set down the pencil and stretched, only to find his teacher looming above him. He gasped.
"Yuki!"
Yuki straightened a small smile on his lips. "Hello Eiri. I'm assuming that you didn't hear me come in?"
Eiri shook his head, and a blush crept on his face.
"It must have been the fact that you were concentrating so hard on your studies; As your tutor, that pleases me."
Eiri blushed harder. "Uh...uh...why did you come here today? It's Sunday..."
Yuki cocked his head. "Why shouldn't I? It's a very special day today...do you know why?"
Eiri glanced up at him. "Um...it's my birthday?"
Yuki smiled. "That's right Eiri, and I thought you and I could go out today..."
Eiri bowed his head. "But what about Tohma?"
"What about Tohma? I see no reason to why he should object."
Eiri nodded. Yuki was right. There was no reason to why Tohma should object but still...
Eiri could tell that with in a few months of meeting Yuki, Tohma had come to despise him. Tohma hid it well, and was polite enough around the younger man, but even Yuki could sense it and made a point to avoid Tohma whenever he could.
Eiri could guess however what the reason was. Eiri was ashamed to admit, even to himself, that he had come to love Yuki. He wasn't sure when those feelings had bloomed from simple admiration of his teacher, to being full out in love with the man, but they were there, and Eiri could no longer deny them. Eiri was certain that Yuki felt the same, perhaps even when Eiri was still a twelve-year-old boy, and that might have been the cause to why Tohma found Yuki Kitazawa repulsive.
Eiri didn't necessarily want to be gay, he hadn't even began to consider it until fairly recently. For awhile he had tried to pass it off as a brotherly sort of love, but as he imagined himself performing more and more sexual acts with his teacher he knew it was futile.
He was already considered a half-breed and a bookworm. He hardly needed to add the label faggot to the list; and yet…Yuki made him so happy. He could only dream that Yuki felt the same way about him and he longed to know. For the past few months Eiri was content enough to just be in the same room with Yuki, to touch him now and then, but lately Eiri wanted more.
He yearned to tell Yuki how he felt, but he was terrified of being spurned and rejected. So all he could do was flash Yuki seductive smirks and significant glances, and hope that Yuki would take it from there.
"Eiri, what do you say?"
Eiri jumped in his seat and flushed. He was so lost in his thoughts; he had forgotten that Yuki was there.
He looked up at Yuki and smiled nervously. "Um...ok, Yuki..."
ooooooooooo
"Are you alright Eiri, Your being awfully quite?"
Eiri's head snapped up. "I-I'm fine Yuki. It's just; I didn't expect you to take me to this restaurant. I mean it's so expensive!" He gestured to the plate before him.
Yuki cocked his head. "Did you not like the meal you ordered? You've hardly touched your plate. I can get you something else."
Eiri blushed. "Oh no, It's fine! I love it! It's simply delicious! Um…what was it called again? I could see if Tohma could get it for me…"
Yuki chuckled. "You ordered a rack of veal. I'd advise you however, not to tell Tohma that we went here for dinner. He may not appreciate that I took you to Tavern on the Green, he may not think your old enough."
"What! Of course I'm old enough! I'm sixteen now! I'm practically an adult!"
Yuki smiled. "I know Eiri, I know."
Yuki eyed Eiri's plate before saying: "How about we go back to my place for some dessert?"
Eiri's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Can we really do that Yuki?"
Yuki shrugged. "I don't see why not." He glanced at his watch. "We've got a couple of hours left before your due home and besides; didn't you say that Tohma would be running errands all day?"
Eiri nodded. Wow a chance to spend some time with Yuki alone outside their normal student-teacher environment…and at Yuki's house? Eiri couldn't imagine being happier.
A warning of Tohma's flashed through Eiri's head. "Whatever you do Eiri, don't ever go to Yuki's house alone. It could be dangerous!" He quickly dismissed the thought. He smirked. Fuck Tohma, whatever he didn't know, couldn't hurt him.
"Eiri?"
Eiri looked at him. "I don't mind going to your house." He looked down at his hands resting in his lap. "If I go to his house it might give me the courage to tell him that I love him…"
Yuki smiled and stood up. "Great! Lets go Eiri!"
On the walk to Yuki's apartment Eiri was relatively silent. He bit his lip racking his brain for any words that could help him express his feelings; but none came to mind. He would just have to tell him straight out. Eiri jammed his hands into his pockets. That settles it…
"Well, Eiri here we are!"
Eiri jerked his head up, as Yuki pulled a key out of his pocket and stuck it into the doorknob. He turned it to the right and the door opened with a quiet click.
Yuki turned and smiled at Eiri before walking into his apartment. Eiri hesitated, then followed him inside, closing the door behind him.
Yuki crossed the threshold and flicked on the lights. Eiri flinched and squinted in the bright light, his head turning this way and that, taking in all things that made up his Yuki.
Yuki caught him looking and smiled. "Eiri, why don't you sit down." He suggested, gesturing to the couch.
Eiri flushed and walked over to the couch, sitting down cautiously.
"I'll be right back Eiri, I have to get the dessert." Another easy smile and Yuki disappeared into the kitchen.
Eiri stared at the coffee table in front of him, his bright amber eyes absorbing all the items that lay on the table.
Footsteps announced Yuki's return and Eiri watched as the older man sat down beside him and set a bakery box on the table.
Yuki pushed the box towards Eiri, a sign that he should open it.
Eiri reached forward and with trembling fingers untied the twine that held the box together. The lid fell backward revealing a strawberry-short cake with layers of whipped cream and strawberries decorating the top. Etched lightly in the whipped cream were the words: "Happy Birthday, Eiri."
Eiri gasped. "Y-Yuki!"
"Well, Eiri? Do you like it?"
"L-like it! Yuki, I love it! Just like I love…" Eiri trailed off, a blush brightening his face.
"Eiri."
"Yes Yuki?"
"You're blushing."
"Eh? No I'm not. It's just a little hot in here." Eiri lied. He squirmed and avoided the older man's gaze.
Yuki however accepted the excuse and rose from the couch. "Let me turn down the heater…I wasn't expecting it to be so warm today, since it's February and all…"
"O-ok, Yuki." Eiri mumbled.
Yuki walked into the hallway and twisted the dial that controlled the heater. He then walked into the kitchen. When he returned he was carrying two plates, a mass of forks and paper towels.
Eiri jumped to his feet. "Oh, Yuki! Let me help you with that!"
Yuki shook his head. "It's alright Eiri, I got it…you go sit back down."
Eiri did as he was told and waited for his beloved tutor to sit beside him. It was time to confess.
"Um Yuki?"
The older man sat down next to him and placed the forks, paper towels and plates on the table. "Yes?"
Eiri stared at the cake. He couldn't do it. "Thanks Yuki, for the cake and everything…" he muttered.
"You're welcome." The older man replied.
Eiri sighed. "No…that's not it…. I…Yuki…I…"
Yuki cocked his head. "Eiri?"
Eiri shook his head. "Never mind." He murmured.
Yuki looked at him quizzically before gesturing to the box in front of them.
"Why don't you have one of these strawberries, Eiri? For dessert…"
Eiri nodded. "Sure! I love strawberries."
Yuki smiled and watched intently as Eiri deftly pulled one of the strawberries off of the cake.
Eiri was a little confused to as why Yuki was looking at him so but nevertheless stuck the red fruit in his mouth. He found however that only half of it could fit and was about to bit it in half when Yuki suddenly placed his mouth on the other end of the fruit.
Eiri nearly gasped when he felt the lips of his beloved teacher brush up against his and quickly swallowed his part of the strawberry.
"Y-Yuki!" he cried.
Yuki smiled softly. "Shhh…Eiri, it's all right…I know what you were trying to say…." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against those of an extremely shocked Eiri.
Eiri was almost too surprised to do anything at first, but quickly snapped out of it and kissed his teacher back eagerly. "Holy crap is this really happening?! Yuki…he's kissing me…holy shit! It's not one of my jerk off fantasies! He's…really…"
Suddenly Eiri felt Yuki's tongue enter his mouth and his own moved clumsily to meet it.
Yuki's hands roamed his student's body, and Eiri could feel him trying to urge him to lie back on the couch. Things were moving a bit too quickly for a boy who just received his first kiss, but Eiri said nothing in protest.
Eiri loved Yuki, and if his beloved teacher wanted to take his virginity at that very moment, then Eiri would have gladly given it up.
Before they got any further however, there was a knock at the door. Yuki pulled away and sat up. "Shit. He's here already?" He scowled angrily.
Eiri was quite surprised to hear such harsh language coming from his teacher, but perhaps what disturbed him even more was how fast Yuki plastered a bright smile on his face; the scowl fading just as quickly as it appeared.
"Don't you fret Eiri, I'll be back in a second." Yuki stood up and went into the hallway.
Eiri crinkled his nose then laid back down on the couch. He glanced down at himself and then undid a couple of buttons on his shirt in order to look more appealing, for when his tutor came back things were going to get heavy. He smirked, then sighed. It was just his luck; as soon as his fantasy came to life, someone had to interrupt it. He could only hope that Yuki would tell whoever was at the door to fuck off, so they could pick up at where they last started, to continue Eiri's greatest dream.
Unbeknownst to Eiri however, was that his greatest dream was about to become his worst nightmare.
Ooooooooooo
Soon Yuki reentered the room with another man, that Eiri had never seen before in tow.
Eiri quickly rose from his horizontal position on the couch, a blush staining his face. He re-buttoned his shirt, before daring to glance at Yuki and the stranger. One look told Eiri that something was wrong. Both the men seemed solely focused on him, which made him very uneasy. Something was not right with the atmosphere.
"Wow, Yuki! This kid's a looker." The strange man said in English, as Eiri half wished he didn't understand what was being said. "Hey, I'll give you ten bucks if you let me go first."
Eiri looked to his tutor in desperation. Surely he was misunderstanding the situation, and Yuki would once again assuage his concerns; but the expression on the older man's face was a horrible one Eiri had never seen before, one that showed he felt no remorse for the situation he was putting his student in.
Yuki shrugged. "Be my guest." He said calmly.
Those words tore at Eiri's heart and he barely noticed the strange man as he advanced toward him. Suddenly the man grabbed Eiri's upper arm in a vise-like grip, and proceeded to drag him to the floor.
Eiri struggled mightily, but the man soon loomed above him ominously. The strange man was a large man, who had a bearish figure, and a face with sharp angles. Just looking at him struck terror into Eiri's heart.
"Wh-what the hell do you think you're doing?! Stop!" Eiri protested as the man pushed him into a prone position and began to undo his belt.
The man glared at him, and lessened his hold, by just a fraction. Eiri breathed a sigh of relief, but it was short lived for the man reached into his back pocket and pulled out a gun.
"Now, now, be a good little boy and I won't have to use this; will I Yuki?" the man turned and sneered at Yuki.
Yuki smiled in return and casually sauntered up to his bewildered student. He knelt down and cupped the boy's face in his hand. "Relax Eiri. Everything will be just fine." The smile turned into a smirk as he continued. "After all, you like men right?"
Eiri could not believe what he was hearing. What happened to the sweet and gentle man he had grown to admire, to love, and who was this hideous monster in his place? How could he interpret his feelings to be something so mundane? These were special, his feelings, they were not to be used or given to anyone else but Yuki. Didn't Yuki see that? Or was it that Yuki just didn't care?
Eiri was startled out of his frantic musings as he felt cold steel bite at his temple.
"Just a precaution, my sweet tender little boy." The strange man breathed. The large man continued in his effort in undressing Eiri. Soon his pants were dragged down around his ankles, the man straddling his hips.
Eiri did or said nothing for the fear of his brains getting blown out the back of his skull. He threw a glance at Yuki, to perhaps gauge his reaction. Yuki had moved back to the couch and was currently sitting down, his hand down his pants stroking…
The man then forcibly pulled his legs apart, his own pants down to his ankles, his underwear too. Still keeping one hand on the gun pressed firmly against Eiri's skull, the man used his other hand to yank down Eiri's underwear, leaving him naked from the waist down. The man adjusted himself and without any warning…
Eiri wanted to scream as he felt the man roughly trying to enter him, but facing the prospect of getting his brains blown out he didn't dare make a sound.
"Holy… I guess you were right about the kid bein' a virgin." The man grunted as he shifted, trying to forge deeper inside.
Tears of pain and disbelief slid down Eiri's cheeks, but he remained silent. The man who was raping him would probably revel in the fact that he was harming him, but Eiri would do anything to deny the man that pleasure.
Taking another look at Yuki sitting on the couch, he found that Yuki was now grinning, and could he be…laughing at him? At that exact moment, Eiri felt something inside his mind snap. He was suddenly filled with rage, and the single thing that his mind was fixed on was the fact of how he was going to make these men who were degrading and humiliating him suffer. They were going to pay dearly for this.
"Hoo-doggy." The man who had paid for his right to go first finally finished and pulled out of Eiri. "Mmm. That was fun."
Yuki stood up and went to join the man, as he knelt over Eiri. "Maybe for you," he snickered. "But he's going to be all lose when I get my turn."
The man shook his head and laughed, holding out the gun meaning to give it to Yuki as they switched places. " I doubt that, the kid was tight the whole damn way throu-" his words were cut short as Eiri's hand snapped out and snatched the gun away from the man. Without a second thought Eiri pulled the trigger and the bullet tore through the man's neck leaving the man dead as soon as he hit the ground.
Eiri scrambled away from the dead man and held the gun steady out in front of him, aimed at Yuki.
Yuki, seeing the gun, twisted his face from horrified shock into a calming smile. "Now, Eiri." He said soothingly. "Put the gun down and we'll talk." He took a few slow steps forward.
Eiri scrambled further away from Yuki, still aiming it at him. "S-s-stay back or I'll…" He was unable to finish the sentence although the resolve didn't waver in his mind.
Yuki shook his head. "Or you'll what? Shoot me? Come on Eiri, even I know what it was what you were going to say to me!" he laughed harshly and took a few more steps forward, confident that nothing bad was going to happen. If he could just convince the boy to put the gun down…
Eiri glared at him. "I told you! Stay back!"
Yuki ignored him. "You were going to say to me…that you love-" all of a sudden Yuki got too close, and the rage and panic that Eiri felt in his mind exploded, and Eiri pulled the trigger with no hesitation.
This bullet caught Yuki in the heart and he spoke no more. In fact he slumped to the ground and didn't move.
Eiri was left with a dead body, a smoking gun, and the remains of his beloved lying motionless on the floor. The eerie silence was too much for Eiri take and tears began to well up in his eyes. "Yuki…" he whispered.
Only the silence answered him. "Yuki. Yuki. Yuki. Yuki? Yuki? Yuki! Yuki! Yuki! YUKI! YUUUUKI!"
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
"…Yuki?"
Yuki was startled awake by hands gently smoothing back his hair and caressing his cheeks. The hands belong to those of his lover who was watching him; violet colored eyes that were addled with concern. "Yuki…are you all right? Did you have a bad dream? 'Cause at first you were just mumbling…. But then you started moaning. And Yuki? What's this His hands swept over Yuki's face again. Yuki placed his own hand upon his face and traced the path that his lover had caressed and found it wet.
With sweat or tears Yuki couldn't tell.
