Disclaimer: I don't own SK or any of it's characters. Hiroyuki Takei does.
"Where's Jeanne-sama & what did you do with her?"
The girl in the tin can remained silent as if a dirty secret is being kept in there.
"What are you talking about? Are you saying that I'm an imposter?!"
"You're not JUST an imposter, you have defied god's will!"
Everyone turned their heads to the direction of the voice & was surprised to see who it was. It
was... it was... Jeanne?
Tanjoubi Omedetou
"Jeanne-sama?" said Marco as he stares clearly at the butt-naked girl who is clearly the Iron maiden whom he speaks of. "If you're Jeanne-sama then who's in there?"
"Hello, haven't you been listening?" said the pyromaniac as he literally knocks on the guy's head "She said that the one in there is an imposter remember?"
"Ohhh...oh yeah right."
"ugh" said the fire shaman as he struggles not to hit his head on the tree again.
"Anyway Jeanne-sama how did you end up out here?"
"Well it seems that you somehow left without me returning from my little bathroom break." the girl said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"But I thought I saw you going back into it Jeanne-sama."
"Wait," said the younger of the Asakura twins "So your saying that you went on your bathroom break naked? Aren't you aware of people seeing you?"
With that, his fiancée gave him a nice, painful punch in the face.
"What was that--" but before he can finish his sentence another fist came his way only this time to his stomach. "Ita-ta-ta...i"
"You should really learn to say the right words otouto. You might end up dead one day because of what your saying." said his Aniki as he looks at his crouching otouto who's clearly clutching his now bruised abdomen. Then Hao came closer & whispered in Yoh's ear, "And the cause of your death might be your wife."
"Oh sorry about that but still, why did you hit me?" Yoh whispered as he looks at the ground. "Well let's just say Anna might smack me if I don't."
The twins laughed at the thought. Anna would actually smack someone just because they didn't smack the guy like she did. Then they stopped as they hear the judge call to them.
"Nani ga okashii?" said a strict voice that feels like it'll devour them in a matter of seconds.
"A-Anna.." the twins said as they slowly turned their heads to face their judgement. "W-we weren't--" As they were cut off they both thought in unison 'Shimatta'
"Fusaken janai yo!" the ice witch said as she lash at them with her ever-infamous right hand/fist.
"Yoh, look out!" said the fire shaman as they brace for impact. Unfortunately the younger twin heard it but he was too late to dodge it.
"Ouch that's gotta hurt" said the blonde guy in glasses.
"Oui..." said the little albino French girl as she looks at the site that beholds the tragedy.
"Sore wa hidoi na... " said Hao as he stares at his other half whose nose is clearly broken from the impact.
"Un! Je suis d'accord." said the girl as she also looks at the pitiful boy.
"Huh?" said the poor younger boy as he looks at the naked girl. "What did she say? I didn't catch that."
"Of course you couldn't catch that," said the pyromaniac coldly "you don't speak French remember?"
"Aa sou ka..." said Yoh as he scratches the back of his head & looks at the ground in realization. Then he saw a very familiar shadow closing in on his aniki.
"Hao look--" he said as he watches in horror as his future wife kicks his ani in the man hood.
"Ooh..." they all said in unison as they watch the Great Asakura Hao as he falls from grace.
"That's gotta hurt." said the younger twin as he winces at the imagination on how his aniki's penis will look like after what the huge wooden sandals has done to it.
"I actually feel sorry for him." said the blonde guy.
"Je ressens la même chose." said the girl as well. "Mais je ne dirais pas cela à haute voix si j'étais vous."
"Why so Jeanne-sama?" asked Marco as unknowingly asked.
"Elle est juste derrière vous." the girl said as she points to the itako right behind her subordinate.
"Not good." was the last thing the guy said as he had himself beaten to pulp by the merciless itako.
"Ahem," said the girl in the tin can "I think we should have a fight scene now don't you think?"
"Oui I think so too." said the nude girl as she gets into her battle position. "Shamashu."
As she said those words, the giant blue baby-like god thing came to the scene.
'I wonder if it's worth impersonating that bitch' thought the girl as she braces for impact. But instead of a big explosion only a squeek was heard as the door was opened by the baby-like thingy.
"Wow I didn't know we look so much alike." said the real iron maiden as she stare at the bold lady in her can. "But for impersonating me I cannot let you live." With that the woman in the can got beaten to crap by the huge baby thingy owned by the naked French woman. After the senseless battle that was mainly done by the original naked woman with the baby god-like thingy, everyone has finally recovered from the earlier incident only to be traumatized by another. Even the holy maiden was surprised to see that instead of seeing a bloody corpse they saw an angel that might bestow punishment on them. So without second thought, nearly everyone bowed down to the sacred archangel.
"Oh hail the messenger of god. Please forgive us for our most dire sins & spare us god's wrath." said the idiots as they didn't notice that that angel was actually a devil in disguise.
"Put a sock in it will you," said the great onmyouji as he readies for his usual to do thing. "It's a demon you idiots! If you worship it than you're no better than my lackies! Now get lost so that I can exorcise it!"
"Did you just say we're the same as your henchmen?!" said the bare girl & her blonde ally. "How dare you compare us to your--"
"Abira unken!" said Hao as he uses his talisman to create a huge spiritual wave that's aimed to hit the demon. But instead it nearly hit the 2 people who were in the way and the spell missed.
"Will you bastards get out of my way?!" yelled Hao as he takes out another talisman.
"Bastards why I--"
"On abira unkyan sharakutan" said Hao as he reflects the attack to the demon. "Naumaku sanmanda bodadan!"
As the 2 dunderheads stay in Hao's way & with Hao trying to not hit them and slowly losing his patience with them, Anna and Yoh just seem to be bystanders.
"Anou... Anna"
"Nani Yoh?"
"Do you think we should help?"
"I don't think so."
"Oh come on Anna it'll be fine." said the orange-loving boy as he looks determinedly at his cold-hearted fiancée "It'll be fun."
"Fine but your training will be more intense because of this."
"Ma ii... Jya ikuzo. Amidamaru in Harusame in Futsu no Mitama no Tsurugi, Over Soul!"
Author's note: How was it so far? Can someone please comment on my stories? I'd really want to hear from you guys out there. If you want, send me ideas it'll be deeply appreciated. Oh and about the spells I got it in Shounen Onmyouji & those are also real onmyou spells so I won't translate them because 1. It's a sacred spell that I don't want to define & 2. I don't know what they mean. I only know the 9 mundras & their chants because I try to become an onmyouji though it is impossible because I'm not in Japan & my country is fully religious that it sickens me. (No offense to the extremely religious out there but I don't believe in god anymore so don't even force me too)
Japanese translation:
1. Nani ga okashii - what's so funny
2. Fusaken janai yo - Don't mess with me!
3. Sore wa hidoi na - that's terrible.
4. Aa sou ka - oh ok
5. Ma ii... Jya ikuzo - Nevermind... Ok let's go!
6. Aniki - Older brother
7. Shimatta - Oh shit!
French Translation:
1. Oui - yes
2. Je suis d'accord - I agree
3. Je ressens la même chose - I feel the same thing
4. Mais je ne dirais pas cela à haute voix si j'étais vous - But I would not say it aloud if I were you
5. Elle est juste derrière vous - She is right behind you.
