That night I thought of every possible way to make tomorrow's meeting with Bella go well. I lay painfully awake stressing for minutes, hours. I eventually fell asleep trying to remember how good she used to smell.

When I woke the day was overcast, but not raining yet. I pulled on some jeans and headed to the kitchen, running a hand through my messy hair. Billy gave me a wary look as I dropped down at the table with a bowl of cereal. When he didn't say anything, I looked up again.

"What?" I demanded, edgy. Billy flinched slightly.

"Nothing." He looked down, pursed his lips. "Nervous?"

I took a deep breath. "Kind of."

"Sam's going along, right?"

"Yeah."

Billy nodded. "Nothing too bad can happen, then."

I swallowed and nodded back, focusing on my food.

I finished eating, then decided to hang out at the beach to pass some time. I told Billy where I was going and jogged out the door, needing to get away from his smothering presence.

I sat down and crossed my long legs on the mottled rocks, barely registering the dampness. Things like that didn't bother me anymore. The grey sky was swirling menacingly; I could smell a storm. The tension in the air raised the hair on my arms.

The indecisiveness of it all was truly killing me. On one hand, I wanted nothing more than for Bella to stay here, with me. I wanted to be able to get past what she was, the horrible creature she had doomed herself to being, and hold her in my arms forever. To melt the ice that covered her heart with my heat.

On the other hand, though, I needed her to go away. I needed her to stay away and leave me alone to painfully, slowly sort myself out again.

But God, did it hurt so much when she wasn't there.

After awhile, I got up and walked back to the house, sticking my head in the door and calling to Billy, "I'm heading out now. I'll hang out at Sam's till it's time to go."

"Right, Jake," he replied. "Don't do anything stupid, and listen to Sam."

I clenched my eyes tight and stopped the edgy heat of frustration in my mouth.

"Yeah. See you later."

"Bye, Jake."

As soon as I was outside I jogged into the trees and stripped off my pants, needing to get away from the wholly human nervousness. I easily exploded into fur and four legs and sharp, clean instincts, and started toward Sam and Emily's.

Jared was the only one with me, heading towards Kim's place. The eager images in his mind made me want to retch; he laughed at me.

Atleast it's a distraction from your leech, he sniggered.

I rolled my eyes, knowing he would feel it, though my throat clenched slightly as he mentioned her.

We'll all be happy when you imprint, Jared sighed.

I snorted. If.

Jeez, your depressing.

Why shouldn't I be?

He sighed again.

The girls at school atleast smell better, he replied.

I chuckled grimly. Not by much.

He groaned. Well, good luck with your leech.

Venom seeped into my thoughts. Even if it was the cruel truth—that she was a disgusting, reeking leech,—in my mind, it didn't give him any right to dislike her the way I could hear he did, even if it was only because she hurt me so much.

Thanks.

He slipped into a human again, leaving behind only vague strings of sympathy, disbelief, and annoyance. I shook my head, trying to clear it. I concentrated on the sound of my breath and the feel of the solid ground beneath me until I reached the Uley house.

I smoothly phased back into weak senses and dark skin, untied my pants from my leg and pulled them on. I jogged up to the cosy house and knocked on the door. Emily answered, looking a little ruffled, though smiling warmly when she saw me.

"Hey, Jake," she greeted a little breathily, moving over so I could get my too-tall frame inside. I had a feeling I didn't want to be in Sam's head right now.

Sam was leaning against the kitchen table, smiling slightly.

"Hey, Jacob," he said, the smile fading a bit as his eyes scanned my face. "How're you doing?"

I swallowed and leaned my head against the kitchen doorway. "Okay," I answered finally.

"We can leave anytime now," he told me gently, "wouldn't hurt to be a little early."

I nodded. After another strangled moment of deliberation, I replied, "Yeah. Let's go now."

Sam and Emily shared a brief glance of something I didn't want to understand, though I could—pity, a touch of apprehensiveness. Sam leaned in and kissed her softly, sending a pang through my own heart. That was the kind of love I wanted with Bella, the kind I knew we could have had. But it was too late now. Much too late.

Sam murmured to her, "It'll be all right."

Emily nodded uneasily, stealing an anxious glance at me. She stood on her toes and kissed my cheek, whispering, "Take care, Jake."

A rush of emotion, thick as syrup, made my throat clench—these people loved me so much. And I was hurting them with my own hurt, the hurt I felt because of a leech.

The weaker part of my mind shrugged away from the resentment that surged towards Bella right then. As Emily pulled away I managed to croak, "Thanks."

She gave me another warm smile, worry in her eyes. Sam stepped forward then, clapping a hand on my shoulder in a very fatherly way. I glanced at him warily.

"Just try to stay calm," he advised very gently, doing his best not to set me off, "and if she says anything you don't like, just leave."

I nodded, the syrup constricting my throat again, though now from nerves. He turned and squeezed Emily's hand once more, then led me out the door into the light rain that had started to fall.

We quickly stripped down, averting our eyes from each other till we'd both changed, though it didn't make much difference any more. When you were a wolf, you naturally had it all hanging out—it made me kind of self-conscious when Bella was around, but there really wasn't much I could do about it.

As expected, I could feel lingering feelings of lust through Sam, though he was trying hard to push it back. We didn't say much as we ran, trying to stay in our own heads. Once or twice Sam asked me how I was feeling, trying to get a clearer picture than the mess of tangled emotions I was experiencing. I couldn't find the words to tell him much more than "nervous". We both instinctively stiffened as we crossed the treaty line, and didn't talk much after that.

By the time we reached the designated spot, the rain was coming down hard and blowing sideways, though the trees were thick enough to protect us from some of it. The strong wind blew the scent of leech towards us; as I recognized it, I heard Sam wondering why I could tell which leech it was so quickly and he couldn't. I winced and tried to pretend I hadn't heard it.

You ready? Sam asked, turning his huge head to look me in the face.

I took a steadying breath. As ready as I'll ever be.

Sam nodded. Don't hesitate to change if you need to. But only if you need to. They've broken the treaty. We can do what we want.

Yeah. The syrup was back in my throat again. Tilting my head to lap up some of the rain, I phased back and quickly pulled on my pants. I jogged into the slight clearing near the river. My eyes immediately fell to Bella, pale and vampiric, lounging on a fallen tree and tracing patterns on the bark with long, white fingers. Her posture stiffened when I stepped forward, though she smiled as she looked up.

"Hey, Jake," she said softly, amber eyes analyzing my face.

I smiled back as sincerely as possible. "Hey." I hesitated, not knowing if I should go any closer.

She beckoned to me. "Come over here, Jake. I won't bite," she joked.

I half-way smiled, but my throat clenched at the cruel irony of the words. Still, I walked over and sat beside her on the log.

She lightly put her hand over mine, the contrast between our skin tones shocking. She looked up at me with wistful eyes.

"So how have you been doing?" she asked, searching my face for an answer.

I swallowed and looked away. "Not so great, actually."

She sighed. "I can't come back, Jake. I'm gone."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "You think I haven't realized that?"

"I think you need to try and get past it. I'm not…I'm not worth your pain."

I raised my eyebrows. It seemed to be a vampire trait to be painfully cliché.

"If that was true I would've given up a long time ago. I'm not completely stupid, you know." The words came out a little harsher than I'd meant them.

"I know." Her voice was very soft, cushioned by the muggy summer rain; she was letting more emotion through today. I heard her swallow—did bloodsuckers have spit? "I know that you're caring and rude and funny and impulsive, and certainly not stupid."

I looked away; suddenly she seemed much too close. What the hell was she doing? Her leech wasn't far, and honestly, I didn't trust his self-control much more than hers. And with her so very close, my worst urges clashed like swords: the human urge to kiss her until she forgot about her stupid hunk of rock; and the wholly animal urge to tear her to shreds.

"Thanks, I guess," I muttered, scarcely breathing.

She laughed softly, her cold breath burning icily in my nose, especially tangible in the muggy air.

"You don't smell as bad as the others say," she murmured, smiling, as if she'd read my thoughts. I looked back at her with raised eyebrows and a slight smile.

"You smell alot better than the others," I replied, "I can still kind of smell what you used to smell like…."

She sighed and leaned her head against my shoulder. Despite what she'd said, I could hear she wasn't breathing. I didn't move to embrace her; I was steeling myself to do what I'd known I would have to do for a long time. After the fight with the newborn leeches, so many months ago, she'd "broken-up" with me, for lack of a better term. But somehow she'd found time to come see me occasionally, enough to keep my stupid love for her up and strong. I knew saying the words was next to meaningless; she'd decided this a long time ago, probably hoped I'd say the words a thousand times. What I was deliberating saying was next to a lie, and it would hurt like hell to spit them out. But, in the long run…atleast, that's what I was telling myself.

"Bella…"

She looked up, question in her eyes, lifting her head from my shoulder slightly.

"I don't…" Say it, damn it, say it.

"I think…" I swallowed the thick lump in my throat, trying to push it down. Suddenly the words were flowing too fast for me to control, a torrent of things perhaps better left unsaid. "I think you should leave, and not come back, Bells. It's not…pretending we can be friends, pretending this can work on any level, is lying. You chose, alright? You can't have both. It was…good to see you again, I guess, to know you're still…alive." God, this was hard. "But I can't keep wishing, Bella. I should've stopped…a long…time ago."

My heart was throbbing painfully in my throat, dragging my voice down to a low whisper. Bella's white, angled face looked pained.

"Jake"—

"Please, Bells." I tried to make my voice flat and hard, like stone, like a leech. "Save it. I can't love you anymore. I don't. At all." My stomach twisted at the cruel lies in the words. But I wanted to break this off for good, make her never come back again. Painful as it was. "This was your choice. You made it. Fair enough. And I can't even be friends with a leech."

That's when she snapped.

Something must have been building inside of her, something that I knew was very, very unfair. But when were leeches ever fair? It was hard enough to interpret what a girl was thinking, let alone a bloodsucker. Which was what she was. I'd finally, finally accepted it.

And apparently, atleast a part of her didn't like it.

Her hand snapped out of her lap, swinging across for my neck. In that millisecond before she touched me I knew that I could easily change and take off her careless, newborn head in one swift lunge. But I also knew that I loved her too much, despite everything I'd said, to do anything like that. Too much to even resist; I knew doing anything in this form was useless. I leaned back so her claws atleast wouldn't get stuck in me, and braced myself for the pain.

Long, leech-sharp nails cut deep into my chest, slicing easily through the dark skin. Sam exploded from the forest next to me, ear-splitting, furious growls ripping from him, and Edward appeared from nowhere, dragging Bella back from Sam's open jaws. I fell off the log to my knees, clutching at my torso. Bella's mouth hung in a horrified 'O'; Edward was looking at me with a curious, puzzled look on his face, though he said nothing.

"Jacob!" Bella cried, fighting against Edward's restraining arms. "Jacob!"

Edward's eyes flickered to Sam, hearing something Bella and I couldn't. I saw him nod slightly, then he called to me very calmly, "Sam would like you to change and go home, Jacob." He murmured to Bella, "He would also like us to leave."

Bella was still staring at me with agonized eyes. "I'm sorry, Jacob," she choked, her voice breaking, "So sorry."

I swallowed and staggered to my feet, gasping as pain shot through my chest. It would heal before the day was out, but that didn't stop it from hurting like hell.

I took a last glance at the vampires, Bella crying tearlessly into Edward's arm. Then I stepped into the dark of the forest, taking off my pants and boxers and tying them around my leg with some rope from the pants' pocket. I reluctantly made the change; for a moment the pain flared sickeningly, then dulled to the fierce, animalistic will to live.

Go home, Jacob, Sam ordered, now.

Yes, I replied wearily. I limped into the darkness, too tired to feel misery or pain or hate. Too tired to hate even myself.


Two weeks later, Sam and I were conversing quietly in the forest when the ugly scent of leech tainted the air yet again. Sam jumped to his feet immediately, and Jared turned around from where he was to head our way. Now that the leeches had both broken the treaty, and attempted an attack, Sam wasn't so decided on the whole 'not starting a war' thing.

Edward appeared from the trees, white hands held high in what would normally be a gesture of peace—but what somehow it didn't feel like it, seeing as the leech's hands were just as deadly as any gun. I rose to stand at Sam's right shoulder.

"I am not hear to fight or make trouble," the bloodsucker said clearly, looking Sam in the eye. "I'm here as a messenger."

Can we shoot him? I joked quietly to Sam. Of course, the leech heard it, and gave a small smile.

Go on, Sam prompted.

"Bella sent me to apologize for what happened last time she saw you, Jacob." For a moment the leech hesitated, then continued in a detached voice, "She wanted to tell you that she misses you, no matter what you are, and that she won't disturb you again…unless you want her too. She wants you to know that…she loves you. She knows it won't make much of a difference now, but she wants you to remember it."

This little speech seemed very difficult for the bloodsucker to make. I almost laughed for the first time in awhile. Instead, I took a steadying breath, knowing this would probably be the last thing I said to the first girl I had ever really loved.

Tell her…. Sam glanced at me, surprised I was answering. I ignored him.

Tell her that I'll miss her, and that I do love her too…in a way. But also tell her that I am going to get over it. Even if takes awhile. Tell her not to come back; she's broken this thread of her... existence, and can't reconnect it again. If she ever comes back, I will not be waiting. I won't forget her, though. Tell her not to forget me. Tell her to remember the times where I still smelt fine, and I'll do the same for her.

I met his eyes, surprisingly soft, and rose to my feet to tower over him.

And you will tell her that I said all this. If I find out you haven't….

Edward gave a crisp nod.

"I don't have quite enough enmity towards you that I wouldn't do this, Jacob Black. We won't disturb you again."

He nodded to Sam and then me, and turned to leave.

Adios, leech.

I heard the smile in his voice. "Goodbye, dog."

Two weeks later, I imprinted.


Finally done! :D I decided I was going to make this go into my first fanfic written, Jacob and Cecile: Imprinted. If you're gonna read that now, remember that I wrote that before I knew I was going to do this, so there's no references to what happened here and some continuity problems, the most notieceable being that in that one there's reference to the Cullens still being there. So bear me with me x3 I just thought it would be a good ending. Hope you liked it

Aaaaaaaand here's the disclaimer I forgot to put at the beginning: Much as I wish it, none of these smexy characters belong to me. They are Stephenie Meyer's, and hers alone.