So glad people are liking this one! I've decided that the blue rose from my more serious story should make an appearance here where it can be put to better use! Seemed that the comedy of it came out nicely. The next chapter will be up in the next day or so I'm hoping.
Nero slowly opened the door to the office, poking his head in to see if there was any sign of Dante. I feel like fucking Bugs Bunny hiding from Elmer Fudd, he thought in a grumble to himself.
"Thank God." He whispered softly, finding no trace of Dante.
"Nero!" Dante yelled, springing out from behind the door like jack-in-the-box on crack, pouncing on Nero and tackling him to the floor. "Gotcha!"
"Hi, Dante." He said in a surprisingly calm manner. "Get off me."
"I have something for you." Dante said, full of anxious wonder, still straddling him.
"Ok, but if you rape me it's only fair you should know, I'm pressing charges."
"I like the way you think, but that's not what I was talking about. Come over to the couch, I have a surprise for you." Dante finally got off of him, and pulled Nero up off the floor. Nero followed apprehensively, scared shitless to sit on the couch with Dante after what happened that morning.
"Close your eyes."
"Fuck no."
"Aww, don't be a spoiled sport."
"I'm not closing my eyes, Goddamnit."
"Why not?!"
"In the fear that you'll try and stick your dick in my mouth, that's why not."
"Oh, will you cut the shit, I'm serious. I have a gift for you! Now close your eyes and hold out your hands." Nero reluctantly did so. "Surprise!" Dante said, happily.
Nero opened his eyes to see a freshly picked blue rose lying in his open hands. He was surprised indeed; it was not what he was expecting.
"Oh. A blue rose? Where'd you find a blue rose?" He could smell the pleasant perfume fill his nose.
"I know a guy who knows a guy." Dante winked at him.
"I see, well, that's very…thoughtful of you. I'd even say sweet if you weren't on this love…ouch!"
"What's wrong?" Dante asked, genuinely concerned.
"I pricked myself. It got me good." Nero inspected the small dot of blood that had formed on the tip of this thumb. "Should have held it with the other hand, I guess." He gestured towards the Devil Bringer.
"Here, let me see that." Dante said, and before Nero could protest to what was about to happen he felt Dante's mouth on him, sucking his pricked thumb.
"Oh…my…God…" Nero stared for a moment, frozen in panic and watching in amazement. He swallowed hard. "Dante, I appreciate your concern, but there are certain things that aren't appropriate for friends to do."
"What's wrong, baby? You don't want me to kiss it better?"
"Fuck me." Nero said softly, then suddenly wishing he had said 'holy shit' or some other phrase instead. "No I don't! What the fuck is wrong with you? Damn."
"Nothing, I feel great. I feel as could as you look, and that's DAMN fine."
"Ok, this is gone on long enough. Snap out of it, man! Can't you see you aren't yourself? You're fucked up!"
At that very uncomfortable moment, Trish and Lady came into the office. Saved by the fucking bell, Nero thought. He had never been so glad to see them in his life.
"Hola, my little lovebirds!" Lady greeted. "I told Trish what kind of party you two were having over here and she insisted we come over and peep it out right away."
"I hate you." Nero said bluntly, all relief at seeing them washed away. He should have known she was only here to make fun of him.
"Aww, how cute! Did we interrupt something?" Her question answered comically by Nero yelling "No!" and Dante answering "Yes!" at the exact same moment.
"Well, it sure looks that way, kid." Then her eyes spied the blue rose that Nero had placed on the coffee table. "Ha, ha! Oh my god! Nero, did Dante give you a flower?"
"No way." Trish said, in a humorous mock-shock. "Well, Dante, if you ain't so sweet you make sugar taste just like salt!"
"Oh, for fuck's sake! Will you two just go away already! You've only been here two seconds and you're already making the situation worse!"
"Why? You two want to be alone? Is that it?" Lady smirked.
"Fuck off." Nero spat, his temper getting the best of him.
"Nero, come on, don't be so grumpy." Dante said, not trying to sound condescending but the look on Nero's face suggested he took it that way. He rustled the younger man's hair a little.
"Don't touch me." Nero smacked his hand away. "I'm leaving."
"Uh oh, Dante, your wife is getting upset!" Lady mocked and laughed again.
Nero felt rage form in the pit of his gut, "I'm not listening to anymore of this bullshit. You think this is a joke? You think I'm enjoying this? Fuck you both. And you!" He said pointing at Dante. "She did this to you. She put a fucking hex or spell or whatever the hell you want to call it on you. She was hoping you would fall in love with her, not me! Yeah, that's right, I'm sure she must be jealous that you turned your affection towards someone that has a smaller dick that she does!"
"Hey, fuck you, asshole!" Lady snapped. "C'mon, Trish, let's get the hell out of here. I don't need to listen to his bullshit either."
Lady left with Trish, slamming the door behind them.
"Don't you think that was a little harsh?" Dante said. "Your face is flushed. Maybe you should just sit down for a minute."
"Just leave me alone. I don't need your fake caring and concern for me."
"It's not fake! Honest!" Dante replied, shocked.
"I'm going out."
"When will you be back?"
"I don't know, alright? I'll fucking be back when I'm back."
"I'm sorry, whatever I did." Dante looked down, slightly wounded. A look Nero had never seen him display before now.
"Whatever." Nero replied, unsure of what else to say. The look on Dante's face and everything he had just said making him feel like the world's biggest asshole. "See ya later."
