A/N: This wasn't a very good chapter... but it was needed. I tend to get distracted as I get new ideas.
Chapter 8: Answers
"Hey," someone said waving a tissue at my face. I grunted, burying my face deeper into my knees. I knew who it was. Shikamaru came here shortly after I entered the hospital. I can tell he was absolutely exasperated with how I was behaving. I don't blame him. I know I'm hard to deal with right now, but I just want to be left alone!
"Look Temari, you're a pixie now," Shika said nonchalantly, tearing up the tissue and throwing the pieces on my head. He sighed when I didn't respond and slid into the seat next to me.
"Brighten up. It's not like you to cry over anything. You haven't cried since that time I pushed you into that sandbox in first grade," he chuckled at the sudden reminisce. I remember that. I landed face first with sand in my eyes. That didn't even count as crying since it was the sand that was making my eyes water.
"Don't you think she'd be heartbroken to see you like this?" I lifted my head up and looked at him.
He shrugged. "That's what they say in the movies to console someone."
I guess there's some truth in that. But she can't really see me when she's on the verge of death in the room next to me. Optimism was something I'm not used to. I didn't need to be optimistic, I just kicked ass to get what I wanted. Nothing bad ever happened to me since I killed my father. But even when I was under his confinement, I was never optimistic. No time to think about rainbows and ponies and what tomorrow would bring. I know what tomorrow brought. Sweat, blood, and lack of sleep. I don't consider myself a pessimist either. I just never thought about either. The routine was always the same. When I found freedom, I ruled this city. There was nothing I couldn't get. Whether it was material things or people, nothing.
I've never known loss and regret until Tenten. She was the one thing I wanted most, but also the one thing I couldn't get. I should have made her stay. I should have protected her. I should have told her how I felt. Why hadn't I told her even though I knew she was setting foot into a dangerous world?
I wish I hadn't fell in love with her.
No, I wish I fallen in love with her sooner. I wish I hadn't denied it. I had desperately clung onto stupid things like reason. What was right? What was wrong? I couldn't admit to love because of something so trivial. I didn't believe in love, and I held onto that even when love fell from the sky, beat me up, and sent me to the hospital.
Waging war against the angel who defied God to love me. I couldn't help but smile at that thought.
I suddenly remembered my friends. I left them behind back at the amusement park…
"Hey Shika," I said quietly, "Did you tell Ino and them where I was?"
"No," he replied, leaning back in his chair. I knew he wouldn't. I know it's horrible of me, but I'll just have to make it up to them next time. I'll never be left alone if Ino knew where I was.
Shika and I sat in silence for a long time. Once I heard the door open beside me, I quickly scrambled to my feet, tackling whoever it was that came out of there.
"How is she?" I demanded, crushing a bewildered Tsunade into the wall.
"Wha—oh, Temari," she sighed before pushing me off of her. Damn, this woman is strong. The adrenaline in me had made my hold on her stronger than it was meant to be, but she brushed it away like I just poked her.
"She's unconscious right now. Her body temperature is currently stable, but some parts of her body are for some reason, not able to function. It doesn't seem to be too big of a problem. The head of the surgical department is working on it right now. He should know what he's doing, so I wouldn't worry about that too much. The thing is, even if we manage to get everything back to normal, there is still a fifty percent chance that Tenten will never wake up."
Fifty percent chance. Does that mean she's as good as dead? No, that's just too much… I…I can't think that way. No, I'll have to trust her.
But if she dies, at least she'll be at peace. At least she'll be safe.
But what's going to happen to me?
Without her…what purpose do I have on this planet?
No…I have to force out all this pessimism.
She's going to live. Once she fully recovers, I'll tell her how she feels. If she reciprocates, I'll take her and run. We'll run to Spain and get married. It'll be just us, under the starry skies by the Spanish seas. Then with the help of technology, we'll make a kid or ten. If she's okay with it, we'll have lots of sex to go along with that. But the sex can happen before or after we run to Spain.
"Temari!" snapped the blonde doctor, interrupting my thoughts. "I talk to you in private. Follow me."
I cast a look at Shika, who just shrugged and waved me off. Without another word, I followed Tsunade up to her office.
As I took a seat in front of her clustered desk, I remembered that day. This was where Tenten was when I came in here to return Tonton. I made an ass out of myself that day. It was her fault too, her fault for making me all nervous after the kiss.
"So," Tsunade said, collapsing into the chair across from her. "I guess you know eh?"
"Know what?"
"Her identity." My breath caught in my throat. I had almost forgotten in my state of panic. But I was still a bit fazed that she was my rival. I had realized then how ironic it was that I was the one trying to protect her. After all those attempts to kill her, I blame myself for not being able to protect her.
I nodded sullenly.
"Remember that day you returned Tonton to me? I'm sure you remembered. She was here that day because of you. Tonton running away was purely coincidental. Anyway, she told me to tell you something. In case something happened to her." What the fuck is this? Some sort of sick prophesy? I don't want to hear this… If I do it'll make me even more pessimistic. But what can I do? I need to hear this.
"G-go on…" I squeaked uncertainly. She looked at me sympathetically before continuing.
"First of all, she told me to tell you this because she felt like you should know. Unfortunately, she can't bring up this topic without breaking down. It's a very sensitive topic to her. But I can only tell you so much.
Some three years ago, Tenten came to me to seek refuge. She had managed to escape the man Kabuto worked for. His name is Orochimaru, though he's more commonly known as Snake Eyes. This man used to work here at the hospital. He was a truly gifted doctor, but you know, things change. He and his band of followers hid away somewhere, in hopes of discovering new and bizarre chemicals that can be worth a lot of money and power. Kabuto was his first and most loyal follower, as well as his most trustworthy lab rat. Because of a very successful experiment, Kabuto now has the ability to regenerate cells a thousand times faster than any normal animal.
Tenten on the other hand, wasn't a follower. Originally, she worked under him. She broke into various labs and stole different chemicals for him, in exchange for money and shelter. Since theft is something she was unnaturally gifted at, her job was child's play. She worked for him for five years, since she was eleven years old. But three years ago, she broke free. They had tried things on her though it wasn't part of the agreement. Unfortunately there was no contract that protected her from being a test subject. So Orochimaru tried all sorts of things on her. I believe you've noticed her abnormal stealth? The chemicals inserted into her body had resulted in that among other things. Fortunately only three experiments were completed on her. One of them was speed and stealth. Another heightened her senses, which added to the stealth. The last one was a failed experiment. It reduced her physical strength considerably, rendering her useless in close-ranged combat. Fortunately, she found an alternate way of defense through a friend of mine.
I'm sure you've heard of Hatake Kakashi of the Akatsuki. Well, he's not really part of Akatsuki. He just helps them from time to time so they're on good terms with each other. Anyway, he's been helping her for the past three years. I'm not too sure how they met. But yeah, he's a pretty good fighter if you ask me. Kakashi has an incredible memory. He's memorized every fighting style that's ever existed. He's even combined a lot of them, creating styles of his own. Anyway, he taught her an alternative to close-ranged combat. Long-ranged combat. Though she is too weak to throw something with power, he found a solution for that too. He taught her how to use a type of power called 'chakra'. Apparently it's kind of like a kind strange energy your veins. I'm not familiar with this stuff but according to him, everyone has it."
I thought about it for a minute. That sounds kind of familiar… could it be some sort of equivalent to "qi"? Well if so, then maybe…
"Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if you used it too," she said casually. I jumped at her response to my thoughts. This woman is seriously freaky.
"You see," she continues, "this energy enables Tenten to be able to boost up her throws. It adds power to the weapon as it's being thrown. And though I'm sure you've noticed that she carries close-range weapons like swords, she cannot use them often. The only time she is able to use a sword is while she's dashing. Her arms aren't powerful enough to thrust with a sword or slash it properly. Therefore she must run with it in order to leave a mark. But that form of attack is very risky. If her opponent can stop her then she is a goner. Plus it leaves her vulnerable for a couple seconds.
Tenten had known who you were all along, but she had not expected to be given the chance to get close to you. How she knew or why she took the risk in staying with you, I have absolutely no idea.
So anyway, the reason Orochimaru is after her is because they had found an extraordinary lead in their experiments with her. She told me she overheard this. Apparently, in the experiment that heightened her senses, they had made a wonderful discovery. The chemicals were similar to the effects of ecstasy, but less harmful. I don't even want to know how they found out, but they did. The results of their experiment made her twice as responsive during sex than any normal being." My eyes widened in horror as possibilities flooded into my head. Possibilities on what kind of "experiments" they had done on her.
"They are a pretty sadistic group of people, but that's what I've been told. And because sex sells so well, they hoped to mass produce these chemicals and recreate them so that they are consumable. No doubt these sales will go off the charts once these things are on the market. They were going to conduct more experiments on Tenten, but she managed to escape them, shredding every lab report as well.
So they want her back now so they can rediscover this new sex tool." I cringed slightly at her story. I swear I'll kill those bastards for hurting Tenten like that.
But I couldn't help but think those nasty thoughts about her. Maybe…No! Now's not the time to be daydreaming about her! She's on the verge of death for fuck's sakes!
I rejoined Shikamaru shortly after our conversation. He had bought me a cup of coffee while I was gone. Heh, who said lazy asses can't be thoughtful too? I've been there for about five hours now, just waiting. Shikamaru stayed with me most of the time, he even brought some paperwork along to entertain himself. I feel kind of bad for putting him through this. But hey, I didn't force him to stay. At about 10PM Tsunade kicked us out and told us to get some food before coming back. Well, since we don't have much of a choice, I decided to treat Shika to dinner.
So here we are sitting at some run-of-the-mill restaurant, if you can even call it that. I'm not a cheap person, but it was closest to the hospital so whatever. I can't really tell what they sold here since I couldn't read the menu. I think it's Chinese. Or is it Japanese? I don't know, I can only speak Japanese…
"You should call them," Shika said suddenly, breaking the silence. I stared at him blankly, his words not quite registering into my head.
"You should call them," He repeated with a sigh. I still didn't understand. Who do I need to call? Tsunade? Gaara? Mommy? Wow, I'm so out of it…
"Temari… Ino's worried about you…" I can tell he wanted to bang his head on something very badly. I reached into my trench coat and pulled out my cell phone.
"Yo!" The sound of Ino's voice startled me for some reason. It felt like years since I abandoned them in the amusement park.
"H-Hey…"
"Thank god Temari, you really scared us back there."
"Yeah sorry…" I thought about making up an excuse for it but decided against it, afraid of making things worse. If she asks, then I'll hang up.
"Are you okay?" She asked.
"Yeah…this is as good as it gets," I replied with a small chuckle.
"Where are you?"
"Out. I'm having dinner with Shika."
"Ah. Well, I'm always here if you need someone."
"I know."
"Well, I guess I should leave you alone now. Remember: Don't do drugs. Don't hesitate to call Sakura either. Even if we don't understand what you're going through, at least you can feel better after saying it out loud."
"Yes Mother." I smiled and hung up. Shika looked at me with an astonished expression. Yeah, I also thought it was pretty amazing she didn't ask. But if only she knew…
"Would you look at that," Shika said boredly, elbow propping his head up on the table, "that crazy blonde actually knows when to shut up." I smirked at him before we fell back into a thick silence.
That night, I stayed at the hospital. Shika had to leave for an early shift. So it was just me in the darkened hospital room, with Tenten by my side. I really wish she would wake up. I have so many things I want to say to her. I want to tell her…tell her how much I loved her so she wouldn't have to die thinking she was alone in this world.
I reached out and took her smaller hand into mine. The heat had returned to her, so maybe she'll have a higher chance of waking up. I brought her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles softly.
Maybe if I hadn't been so hesitant in voicing my feelings, things would be different. But no, I was too much of a fucking wimp to say it. What was I afraid of anyway? Rejection? Perhaps but I don't see any reason to. No one's ever rejected me before. But then again, I never had to be the one to say it first. But I guess I was afraid my feelings weren't returned. I was afraid of losing her, because she kept me alive. But now… I just want her to know. Perhaps then she will think back to me whenever she gets lonely. I don't care as long as she's happy. Yeah. She's reduced me into a cheesy romantic.
Then again, if she does reject me, I don't think I can ever love another. Perhaps then I'm destined to be alone. I guess it's alright with me if Tenten is satisfied with it. But she did initiate the first kiss as the Phantom right? Maybe I do have hope… if she ever wakes up.
God, how does everything go downhill so fast? I wish I had stopped her that night. I knew she was in trouble, so why did I let her go? If the two of us got attacked, at least we can suffer together. But no, she's the only one suffering physically now. I can feel myself dying inside as well.
I couldn't take it anymore. I had to let it out. I can't take it anymore. I leaned over and pressed my lips against her unmoving ones. As I brushed a wisp of dark chocolate hair from her face, the first tear fell onto the crisp, clean sheets. I recoiled shakily and hid my face in my hands before collapsing back into my chair. I buried myself in my arms on the edge of her bed, sobbing uncontrollably.
I just sat there and cried. Even when I thought I had finally run out of tears, they came again. This gave me a whole new definition of "breakdown".
Everything happened in such a flurry. I didn't even know how long I cried. I was still crying even as I took her hand in my own. I mentally yelled at myself to stop crying, but that resulted in even more tears. Giving up, I eventually cried myself to sleep.
The morning light illuminated the dim hospital room. I blinked open, rubbing my eyes with my free hand. I looked down at my other hand, which still held Tenten's. My eyes trailed up her body. As I looked at her sleeping face, I smiled sadly.
That was the first day…
A/N: Yeah, I think I'm going through sort of a semi writer's block. This chapter and my Sasunaru oneshot makes me want to cry at how bad they are. But hopefully it'll get better. Check my LJ for news on updates. Link is in Chapter 7.
