Disclaimer: I don't own ER. Hope you like this update, slightly OOC for Gates, but he has to have a decent-ish side, right?
'How's she doing?' Gates caught her arm as she walked past.
'What's it to you?' Abby pushed him away, continuing back along to the corridor towards where she could see Greg talking to Katey Alvaro.
'For God's sake, I care about her, I've tried talking to her, but she just pushes me away. I've been trying to tell you for months that something was wrong'
'What do you want? A medal?'
'Come on Lockhart, just tell me how she is. I can find out easily enough if you don't' he gave her his best puppy dog eyes.
'She tried to kill herself, is that what you want to know? Or do you want to know that if we'd been an hour later we'd have been too late, is that what you want to hear'
He turned half away from her, wiping a hand across his face, as his eyes closed, the cockiness fading from his stance 'Shit, Mayday, why did you do this?'
It was that whispered sentence that she wasn't meant to hear, that made her reassess her opinion of him. Perhaps there was more to him than the arrogant, bull shit that they'd all put up with for the last year and a half. Perhaps he really did care for Neela. She looked along the corridor at Greg and made a decision.
'Tony, look I'm sorry I snapped, I'm just so worried about her, I didn't see this coming' it was as much of an olive branch as she could conjure up.
'You couldn't have seen it…' and he accepted it.
'But you did, how could you when I couldn't?'
'You were right to question my motives, I'm not a saint, after her accident I took advantage, I charmed my way back into her bed, but it was different, it was like she wasn't there. I started to notice the little things, the signs that something was wrong, it was purely selfish to start with, but as she fell further and further I tried to talk to her, to get her to see someone, it was like Meg all over again' he turned towards the wall, leaning his head against his arm, eyes shut 'I could see what she was doing but because of what I'd done she wouldn't listen to me, couldn't believe I was offering genuine support. And because of how I've been, what I've done, no one would listen to me' he punched the wall, before turning to walk away.
'Tony, wait, I was wrong not to listen to you, you could see what I couldn't and I should have listened'
He stopped 'you weren't the only one' he turned and looked at the two doctors talking further down the corridor 'I tried to tell both of them, I thought it was her area of expertise, but they wouldn't believe me either'
'Whatever happens now we're going to need your help you know, she'll need all the support she can get'
'I know, I'm not going anywhere'
'Are you happy now?' He'd been lurking at the admit desk waiting for her to get of the phone and now he forced his way between her and it.
'What are you talking about?' She tried to turn away but he grabbed hold of her arm.
'Her' he indicated down the corridor to where Neela was 'I tried to tell you that I was worried about her…'
'I know, but it wasn't so obvious then'
'In your line of work it shouldn't need to be obvious. I'll tell you what I think, shall I?' He was becoming more aggressive.
'If you must' she gave him a withering look.
'I think if it had been anyone else you'd have been in there…'
'Wait a minute!'
He cut her off '…but because it was Neela you didn't. What was it? Some sort of revenge for the fact that your boyfriend was in love with her, and not you?'
'How dare you?' She pulled her arm free of his grasp, but she wasn't going anywhere 'You know nothing about this'
'I know that he followed her around like a wet blanket for months. I know she broke up with me because of him…'
'What? When?'
'At Lockhart's wedding. He was so pissed; he took a shot at me, told me not to screw around with her. Half an hour later it was over'
'But that was the night…' she stopped, realising that she'd been about to reveal too much.
'What about that night?'
'Nothing, nothing' she was shaking her head, trying to clear her thoughts, trying to process this new information.
'It wasn't nothing. What's going on?' He paused, leaning in closer to her 'You know something about why no one's heard from Barnett since then, don't you?'
She averted her eyes, unwilling to meet his gaze 'No'
'Oh come on, I wasn't born yesterday, you do, what happened to him?' He was trying to wheedle it out of her.
She sighed 'Okay, I do, but it's not my place to say, so just leave it'
'How can I leave it? You've obviously allowed it to cloud your judgement when it comes to Neela'
'That's not true! I didn't think she needed help' she wanted to get away from this interrogation before she let anything else slip, but he wasn't letting her go.
'Since when did you spend enough time with her to make that judgement? She enters a room, you leave'
'And you think that's because Ray was in love with her?' she laughed bitterly 'She was such a bitch to him'
'And he treated you so well?'
'What's that got to do with anything?'
'I just can't see why you took his side in all this. Anyone could see that as soon as she showed any interest in him he went running and just left you standing there, but you kept going back for more, why did you do that to yourself? What did he have that made it worth all that?'
'Oh, for God's sake, I was in love with him, is that what you want to hear? I would have taken whatever I could get from him'
'And you let that cloud your judgement about her' he stated it as fact.
'What?' she shook her head 'Clever Gates. As if you're any different'
He looked at her incredulously 'What does that mean?'
'You and Ray were at each others throats from the minute you met; you can't tell me that that had nothing to do with Neela'
'You're not blaming that one on me, that was all Barnett, he jumped down my throat at any opportunity'
'Yeah right, and you didn't antagonise him, flaunt your relationship with her in front of him?'
'Why should I do that? It's not my fault he missed his chance, he should have acting earlier'
'When? When she was married? Or perhaps when her husband died? When would have been a good time?'
'Why should I care? Why do you care so much? What is he to you now?'
'He's… he's my friend and she's hurt him so much'
'And life's such a picnic for her, oh, wait a minute, isn't she the one on the gurney along there, the one who tried to drown herself in tequila' the sarcasm was dripping from his every word.
'You don't know shit about what he's been through'
'No, because you won't tell me, and the same could be said of her, she didn't get to this point overnight, did she?'
She felt deflated, he was right, she admitted defeat 'No, no she didn't, look there's no point in us fighting like this, she's going to need all our support'
He sighed, shaking his head 'You're right, we need to put her first. Are you admitting her?'
'No' he looked at her in despair, and she lowered her voice 'Dr Pratt thinks she'll be better of at his place with her friends caring for her'
The noise as he slammed his hand on the desk startled nearby patients 'For Christ's sake, what is it with this place? Does no one have any sense?'
