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Chapter 2
And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
As I lower my hand back to my cane and grip it tightly, the stool at the counter catches my eyes and I stare at it, like I've never seen it before.
It's her stool, always was, always is and always will be, since the day she burst into my diner that day so many years ago.
I remember that day so clearly. It was a very busy day, the place was packed, but somehow everything was in its place. I was running around like a mad man serving my customers, but everything seemed structured some how. Until she burst in and like a tornado. She whirled everything around so it seemed, everything seemed hectic, chaotic, strangely blurry when she stepped in.
I sensed that something had changed, the atmosphere in the room was different, but at first I had no idea what it was until I faced the eye of the tornado. There everything was calm and silent, everything else seemed to disappear, all the chaos vanished as I got sucked deeper and deeper into the eye.
In my case there was not one eye, but two. The two most breathtaking and astounding blue eyes I had ever seen and I came face to face with Lorelai Gilmore for the first time.
The silence didn't stay for long and her incessant chatter started, she followed me through the diner like a puppy and begged for coffee.
Everybody, who's ever met us, knows that she got what she wanted.
While she begged and waited, she didn't let herself get scared or intimidated by me, she handed me a small piece of a newspaper, on which she had written this unimportant sentence.-You will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away- I didn't want her to go, maybe that's why I tried so often to get her "off" coffee.
While I'm commemorating those things my gaze wanders away from the stool and back to me, it stays at my left pocket where my wallet is.
I'm still carrying that piece of paper around with me. Sixty years later.
She told me to put it in my wallet and carry it around with me, because it would bring me luck.
Of course she was right, it did bring me luck.
My fingers reddened from the cold and I am starting to feel cold, while the wind blows into my face.
The reddish glow of the sky is nearly gone and the darkness of the night is expanding.
I don't know for how long I zoned out and stared at the stool.
I have to hurry, otherwise I won't be able to see a thing when I arrive. Hurry has had a bitter taste for some time now, because I just can't walk fast. I think I am the one who is annoyed the most by this damn cane.
-You're still sexy- Lorelai always says when I am lamenting about my age and her eyes are twinkling and I know that she is mocking me, but saying the truth at the same time, at least her truth.
For me she still is the most beautiful woman in the world. We both have more wrinkles, we can't walk as fast as before and our eyes are not as good anymore, but for me she is still as beautiful as she was that day in the diner when she turned my life upside down for the first time.
I carry forward with my way and the tick tack of the cane followed by my scuffing steps is audible, sounds so loud in the otherwise silent winter-night.
What induced her to fall in love with me, I will never understand, me the man with the coffee. Maybe it was just her craziness.
But the better I know why I love her. If I say "everything" it wouldn't do it any justice, wouldn't do her any justice, but to name everything… I think another ninety years of life wouldn't suffice.
When I saw her face back then with the help of the crazy cassette, I knew I had to make a move, otherwise my chance would be gone-again.
We had been friends for so long and the thought of jeopardizing this friendship scared me out of my mind, but eight years of suppressed feelings were enough- even for me.
The first kiss, the first date, the first night together- I am at a loss for words still.
I can smell her perfume and butterflies are flattering around in my stomach. Old idiot.
Here I am, limping and with a few grey hairs and fantasising about my wife.
Yes, my wife. I managed to marry her. Eventually.
Our way wasn't easy. It was rocky, small, painful and bumpy, with more than one rock on the way, but together we managed to get all of this out of the way.
Two break-ups, months without contact, one daughter and a Christopher later we got married.
Lately I am watching the wedding video just as often as she did over the years. I stare at the screen watching her when she strides through the garden of the Inn in her tight, white dress, beaming at me and forgetting everything around her. In this moment there was only us.
The ceremony flew past me, just like the years that followed. Our secret made it more intimate for the both of us. Just for the both of us, nobody else.
We knew that she was pregnant, had found out just a few weeks before. It hadn't been the reason though why we got married. Her pregnancy was just a bonus and made our stupid, carved smiles even wider.
The honeymoon we spent in Hawaii, her wish of course. I wouldn't have cared if we had spent the whole trip in a tent, as long as we would have been alone.
At the moment I would prefer Hawaii though, because the wind is getting stronger, the night is getting colder and the way that lies still in front of me seems endless.
TBC
