Author's notes: Thanks 'sammyluvr83' for your review! Glad you like it! I have only gotten 3 reviews overall for this fic, so that is a bit disapointing. Please, if you read this can you let me know what you think? It really makes me more confident with this story and boosts my motivation.
This chapter is angusty in some way, so be warned. I did write it to be heartfelt though, so I hope y'all enjoy it! Please let me know what you think!
Chapter Three: Breaking Hearts
A week went by and the boys had left town, heading to a job only an hour away.
Rachel and Aiden were getting a little tired and now had low-spirits on their search, especially when they found Sam and Dean had already left.
'Come on' Rachel sighed. 'We'll get a cleaner one about an hour from here and stay there for a bit okay?'
'We're not going to find my dad, are we?' Aiden sighed sadly and was now starting to accept it, just like his mother was.
'Maybe not today…or next week, but one day' Rachel sighed.
They reached the motel Rachel had spoken of and she went to get them a room while Aiden read another comic book in boredom.
'Room 47' she told him and handed him the keys while she got their bags from the car.
Aiden unlocked the room and opened the door. He turned and looked around the car park, noticing a really cool car across from their room.
'Wow! Mum, look!' he pointed. 'That car!'
'What car?' Rachel sighed; his obsession of cars was annoying at times.
'That black um…' Aiden thought. 'Chevy Impala?' he remembered. 'Looks old but, Awesome!'
Rachel had frozen at the sight of the car. It indeed was a Black, Chevy Impala and judging by what she saw it was a '67 model. There was only one person in the entire world that she knew that owned one of those cars.
'Mum?' Aiden noticed her wide-eyes. 'Do you know whose car that is?' he guessed.
'Ah…yeah, um…' she stuttered a bit.
'Dad?' Aiden guessed and grinned.
'Stay here, this may not go very well' Rachel sighed and dumped the bags into the room quickly.
'No!' Aiden demanded. 'If things do go bad…then this may be my only chance to see him!' he grabbed her arm. 'Please mum, please! I'm okay, I can handle it…I just wanna see him!' Aiden then started crying as he was so close to possibly meeting his father and his mum wasn't going to let him.
'Okay, but if I say we leave…we leave. Understand?' Rachel gave in. 'and lock the door'
'Thanks!" Aiden locked the motel door and then rushed to keep up with his mother, zipping up his jacket as it was rather cold out and starting to get late.
Sam yawned as he lay on his stomach and stared at the TV dully while Dean read through their father's journal, also bored. There was a knock at the door and Sam glanced over as Dean got up to see who it was. Sam sat upright as Dean froze there in shock.
'Who is it?' Sam went over and saw the visitors.
'Guess they found us' Dean muttered, hardly louder than a whisper.
'Wait…you're Rachel?' Sam asked the girl and she nodded. She had shoulder length, dark hair and was quite tall in height actually. Beside her, or rather hiding behind her, was a boy that looked about ten, but he was quite tall also. He could have easily passed as a twelve year old.
Rachel was staring at Dean, but he was just standing there not sure what to do and avoiding looking at her, so Aiden stepped in…rather nervous now.
'I…I, I'm A-Aiden' he said but then frowned, feeling stupid. He cleared his throat and tried again. 'I'm Aiden' he said and held out his hand to Dean hopefully.
Everyone watched Dean and waited for him to respond. Dean glanced at Aiden's hand for a short moment and then looked away again.
'I'm busy' Dean mumbled and went into the bathroom, locking himself in because he just could not handle it and had no idea what the hell to do.
'Don't you dare' Rachel said as Sam actually went to close the door on them. 'Aiden? I'm going to talk to Dean okay? Sam, will you take him outside…I have to talk to Dean privately'
Sam rubbed his head and then sighed. 'Yeah, okay' he said. 'Come on Aiden' he added, only just realizing he was talking to his nephew and…that felt, very weird.
Rachel watched them leave, shutting the door behind them and she stormed over to the bathroom.
'Open up Dean!' she demanded. 'It's just you and me, and we need to talk'
'Not now!' Dean replied stubbornly.
'You can't hide in there forever' she told him.
'Watch me!' Dean snapped back.
Rachel fumed and sighed; she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small tool. She used it to pick the lock and then yanked the door open. Dean was sitting on the floor, leaning against the far wall with his head in his hands.
'How did you…?' he got up once she shut the door and locked it again behind her.
'Dean' Rachel sighed, anger fading as she thought of how Aiden must feel right now. 'You could have at least shaken his hand'
'And said what? "Hi, I'm your father that hasn't been around for ten years"? No, I don't think so…does he even know?' Dean asked getting up off the floor. He felt a lot better talking now that it was just them for some reason.
'Yes!' Rachel said. 'He knows you're his father and Sam is his uncle. He knows that you hunt evil and he knows that you didn't know he even existed until I called Sam that night…and, well now he knows you own a black Impala' she sighed. 'His favourite car in the world'
'Really?' Dean asked, a bit surprised but he refused to feel anything associated with being a dad: like being proud.
'Yes, really' Rachel frowned, thinking he was accusing her of lying or something. 'It's basically been his bedroom wallpaper for five years' she sighed. 'Dean, he just wanted to meet you. He wanted to see his father for the first time, to see you and think "wow, that's my dad!" why couldn't you just give him that?' she hung her head and wasn't sure if she was crying because of how her son must feel or if it was all the bottled emotions from being away from Dean for so long. Rachel hated that she still had feelings for him, even now and even after she thought those feelings had gone. She wiped her eyes and looked up at Dean to catch his reaction. But all she saw was a guarded, guilty expression.
'I can't' Dean told her, honestly. 'It's better he gets used to me not ever being around'
'What? Why? You can't honestly not want to know your own son at all?' Rachel was shocked, it was the same feeling she'd felt when Bobby had told her how Dean was now: like he was describing another man, someone she didn't know at all.
'I want to, believe me I do…but it's-'
'It's what?' Rachel cut in. 'Too dangerous? Because of your job?' she sighed and sat on the edge of the bath, basically giving up.
Dean watched her and saw her shake a little…she was crying again. True, it had been ten years, but even over that time he hadn't forgotten her and seeing her again now…he did still feel something between them. But, like he said to Sam before: what future could he possibly have?
'This isn't about my job' he finally admitted; he knew she had held on too tight and Aiden had to learn to cope with not ever having a real father now. The sooner the better, and the less harder it will be later. 'I'm dying' he confessed.
'What?' she looked up at him. 'Like cancer dying or…supernatural something?' she asked.
Dean shook his head and couldn't think of an easy way to get it out so said it however possible. 'Sam was killed about a year or more ago…'
'He doesn't look too dead to me' Rachel frowned, utterly confused.
Dean smiled a little but then went serious again. 'I know, I saved him' he sighed and tried not to lose it. 'I ah, I made a deal with a crossroads demon: that if she brought Sam back I would sell my soul. He was my brother, I didn't know what to do' he explained as though he had to justify himself. 'I got one year' he added and it hurt him then, the look she was giving him now.
Rachel was absolutely gutted. It showed so clear in her expression and body language. The way her eyes welled with tears and she did nothing to stop them from falling down her face like rain. The way she bit her lip and couldn't help but stare at Dean's face, the face of a man she truly loved…the man that was going to leave her one day forever…despite the fact that it almost felt like he already had.
'How…how long do you have left?' she sniffed and Dean actually found it hard to answer that.
'Three months, tops' he sighed and walked over to her, crouching down in front of her as she hung her head and just sobbed. 'I'm sorry' he sighed.
'You're going to Hell' she said softly between her sobs. 'You're going to leave us forever…but Aiden, he will never have a father'
'Rachel' Dean said. 'You're hot, and a good person…you'll find someone, someday and then Aiden can-'
'No, you don't understand' Rachel looked up at him, meeting his eyes. 'When I spoke to Bobby, he described a man that went around having one-night-stands and never having a relationship for more than a few days…and the way you spoke of yourself…it's just, I didn't want to believe it's you. That this is who you've become. And if you're going to die…then all I've got to remember you by, is that you gave up. And all Aiden will know of you is a coward, someone that ruined his and his mother's lives' she stood up and pushed past him. She unlocked the door and held the handle, turning back to look at him. 'You're the only man I ever truly loved Dean, but you're not the man I fell in love with now' with that, she left.
'So ah…I'm Sam' Sam held his hand out to Aiden and the boy shook it.
'Cool, nice to meet you' Aiden nodded and sighed, wondering how his parents were going. He and Sam were sitting on the cemented ground just outside room 47, waiting and allowing their imaginative minds to wonder.
Rachel stormed out of the motel room opposite them and walked over, her expression showed the pain inside of her and she was clearly crying heavily. She went into the room and slammed the door.
'Mum?' Aiden panicked and followed her. 'Mum!' he rushed over to where she sobbed on the floor uncontrollably beside her bed with Sam as witness.
Aiden got up and shut the door on Sam; he had to look after his mother now.
Sam entered his and Dean's motel room, only to be greeted with the sounds of the shower once again.
'More hot water bills' he muttered and shut the door, sitting on his bed to await Dean.
By the time Dean did come out of the shower, he wasn't surprised to see Sam sitting there giving him the look that he was.
'Don't' was all Dean could say as he wandered to his bed and sat down, leaning against his propped up pillow.
'What happened?' Sam asked, turning off the TV that Dean had settled to watch.
'I said: Don't' Dean glared at him.
'No' Sam sighed. 'After what I saw: No'
'What do you mean, after what you saw?' Dean asked, not overly in a talking mood by Sam was clearly not going to drop it…So Dean was going to have his say.
'Rachel' Sam said. 'She was on the floor crying and poor Aiden was trying to calm her down. What happened?'
'I told her, about my deal' Dean shrugged.
'What? Why? How was that going to help?'
'Sam! I don't want them to get their hopes up; they have to accept I'm dying. It's easier for them to do it now rather than later, when you bury me'
'That's a load of crap' Sam answered honestly and Dean looked at him in surprise. Neither said anything else as a light swept over their window. Dean got up and pulled back a small section of curtain to see. Sam stayed at the bed, thinking what to do about the major situation.
Dean saw Rachel's car leaving the motel car park and drive into the distance. He knew it was her car because it was the same one he'd bought her. He then spotted Aiden by the door of room 47 and he waved to his mother's car.
'What the…?' Dean frowned as Aiden went back into the motel room, shutting the door behind him and closing all of the curtains.
'What?' Sam looked up.
'Ah nothing' Dean pulled back from the window. 'Just one of the residents ordering pizza' he improvised and gave a simple shrug. 'I'm not talking about this right now' he grabbed another jacket to put on. 'I'm going for a walk' Dean said and slammed the motel door close on his way out.
Author's notes: Well, one can only guess where Dean is going, think you know? I hope this chapter was as heartfelt as I'd intended, so can you let me know? Please review, I am realy interested in your thoughts andthe motivation really helps.
