Author's notes: I am slightly discouranged by hte lack of reviews, but thanks 'sammyluvr83' for your review, makes me realise it's not all for nothing. And yeah, I think I have an idea where you think he might be going! Anyways, here is the next chapter, enjoy!Chapter Four: Connecting
Aiden sat on his bed boredly and watched TV. Beside him sat his pile of comic books but he wasn't really in the mood for them right now. The soap show on TV was rubbish as well, so after another ten minutes: he switched it off. Aiden sighed and rolled his eyes. He lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling but then a knock in the door made him jump. He saw a shotgun by the door, which his mother had put there by no doubt, but at least it made him feel a bit better. He got up cautiously. Aiden unlocked the door and un-hatched the chain, pulling the door open a few inches, enough to see who it was.
'Dad?' he asked, seeing Dean standing there. 'I mean, Dean' he corrected himself. 'Mum's not here' he then said quickly and his face turned mad, since he knew Dean had made his mother cry for an hour before.
'Ah yeah…I'm actually here to see you' Dean shrugged awkwardly and checked Sam wasn't watching him. 'Can I come in?' he asked.
Aiden stared at him for a moment and wasn't going to since his mother's orders were to not let anyone in…but this was his dad! How could he refuse?
'I suppose' Aiden shrugged and moved aside to let Dean in, turning on the main light as he did so. Aiden then shut and locked the door again.
Dean gave the room a quick glance, and also spotted the shotgun by the door.
Aiden saw him staring at it. 'Ah yeah, precaution' he shrugged again. He sighed and tried to ignore how nervous he now felt to suddenly by alone in a motel room with his dad. 'Ah, wanna sit?' he gestured to the table.
'Oh, right. Sure' Dean sighed and sat across from Aiden, a bit uncomfortably.
'Why are you here?' Aiden asked, anger clear in his face. 'After what you did to my mum, I shouldn't be talking to you at all'
Dean had to give him credit; Aiden sure was smarter than he looked.
'Yeah, sorry about that'
'I'm not the one you should be saying sorry to' Aiden frowned. 'Why did you do that? She just wanted to find you so she could let me meet you! Do you know how scared she was? But she did it anyway because she loves me and she misses you! But you had to go and blow it!' Aiden yelled. He got up from the chair and went over to his bed to sit on it. He always felt more relaxed when he sat on a bed, probably because he could beat the crap out of a pillow if he had to let off some steam.
Dean watched and fired up child in a bit of shock and guilt for a moment before speaking because if anyone, he owed it to his son.
'I know' He sighed, but Aiden gave him no chance to speak.
'Then why did you do it?' he snapped.
'Aiden. Listen' Dean sighed and turned his chair around so he could face him properly. 'I didn't mean to hurt your mum…or you, okay? It's just…complicated'
Aiden calmed down a bit. 'Mum used to tell me that every year' he wanted Dean to understand what he and his mum gone through, maybe get him to understand how much they needed him. 'I would ask who you are, where you are and why you never came to see us. She would tell me the same thing every time "It's complicated" and you know what? I'm sick of it'
Seeing someone that had a more stubborn mouth than his own was a bit scary for Dean. He was actually lost for words, but then it occurred to him that he didn't even know what he was doing here in the first place.
'We're never going to be a family, are we?' Aiden asked sadly and lowered his head.
Dean felt terrible. First Rachel and now Aiden, but who could blame them?
Between you and me…I wish we could too' Dean replied honestly.
Aiden looked up at Dean then, wiping his fallen tears and looked surprised.
'That's another thing' he said. 'Mum told me that she loved you, and you that had loved her…but yet you had to leave. Why? I mean she told me you saved people from evil…so does uncle…I mean, so does your brother Sam and your dad…is that true?'
Dean pushed aside his emotions and decided to just answer Aiden's questions.
'Yeah, it's true'
Aiden nodded. 'Where's gr…where's your dad?' he wondered. 'I know your mum died when you were four; mum told me'
'Yeah' Dean noticed how Aiden translated everything he said. Like "Uncle Sam" became just "Sam"… he shouldn't have to do that.
'Your grandfather died about a year ago' Dean said and it was then he realized he was actually now grasping the idea that he was this young boy's father. The kid that sat in front of him with his spiky, medium, brown hair and his dark clothing…was his son. Here was a boy without a father to guild him, to teach him and to protect him from harm. Dean was going to Hell. He was never going to see his son's first day of high school, his son's first real girlfriend or be there for his high school graduation. He would miss his wedding and never watch him grow up into a great person, which Dean was certain he would become. It shattered him inside, to think he was going to miss all that but also upon their first meeting he couldn't even shake his son's hand, which Aiden offered on his own free will and with so much hope in his eyes.
He pulled himself from his thoughts and saw Aiden just watching him, as though he wanted to remember this moment forever. To remember the face of his dad in case he was never to see him again, which was kind of true.
'Hey um…where's your mum anyway?' Dean remembered.
'Out' Aiden shrugged, being pulled from his own thoughts and concentration. 'She does it sometimes, just leaves and goes to…' Aiden went quiet, which made Dean very curious. The in dawned on him: He had said to Rachel that he'd sold his soul to a crossroads demon in order save Sam…but he never said anything about going to Hell. Yet Rachel had known that, which meant she knew more than she was letting on.
'You believe in demons…right?'
'Yeah' Aiden nodded. 'Mum taught me to know about them and stuff'
'Why? For protection?' Dean guessed.
'Mostly, yeah' Aiden nodded. 'I dunno, she never really said' he sighed. 'And you still haven't told me why you're here'
'Do you want me to leave?' Dean asked. 'I wouldn't blame you if you kicked me out right now…I would've kicked myself out' he nodded, rambling a bit.
Aiden couldn't help but crack a smile, he found that funny: the thought of Dean kicking himself from the room.
'Nah' he sighed. 'Dean, I have one last question though'
'Fire away' Dean said, feeling a bit less awkward now.
'Is there any chance…any at all, that you, mum, me and Sam…that we could be a family?'
Dean knew there wasn't but to tell Aiden that would have been a very horrible truth, to force him to give up hope, and Dean couldn't do that to him.
'I don't know' he replied instead. 'Sam will always be here for you though, anytime you need him' Dean felt comfortable saying that, maybe now Sam will let him go too, accept the fact he can't be saved.
'What about you?' Aiden asked, his expression and tone almost pleading with him.
'It's…' Dean thought of a way to describe it.
'Complicated' Aiden sighed and nodded. He looked away from Dean and bit his lip. Dean felt a bit stupid to the fact Aiden was asking all the questions, which made it seem like Dean had no interest in him.
'So ah…you good in school?' he wondered and Aiden looked back at him.
'I'm okay' Aiden shrugged. 'Hate math though, not very good at it'
'Eh, same' Dean said and Aiden even gave a little smile. 'Bet you made lots of friends though?'
'Yeah, well…I had friends' Aiden saw the confused face Dean gave him. 'Our house, the stupid, fat man that owned it kicked us out' he shrugged.
'So where are you gonna live now?' Dean wondered.
'I dunno' Aiden said. 'Mum was going to find a place but I was asking about you and all, so she decided we'd come find you instead'
Dean nodded, not sure what to say. He glanced at his watch and noticed that he'd been here for a while, any longer and Sam was going to have a fit.
'I ah, it's getting late' Dean told Aiden as nicely as he could and got up.
Aiden nodded and looked away, biting his lip and trying not to cry. He would be so embarrassed if he cried in front of his father, but he couldn't help it. He had enjoyed spending this proper time with his dad for once and now he had to go, probably forever.
Dean saw that Aiden was crying and that broke the last shred of dignity he'd had left. He went over to Aiden and crouched down in front of him, opening his arms.
Aiden fell right into them, embracing Dean as he cried on his shoulder.
Dean was hit by a million emotions at once, but mainly of sadness and a strange urge to comfort Aiden. Dean wrapped his arms around Aiden and held him close. Hearing his son cry so hard because he was scared to lose Dean almost made him cry himself.
The one thing he wasn't counting on though, was for the motel door to open and there stood Rachel. Aiden hadn't noticed because he was still crying heavily. But Dean had. He didn't budge though, but rather just watched her standing there in shock while he continued to hug his son.
It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Unlocking that door and finding Dean there, hugging Aiden…it actually made her cry. She closed the door again and sat on the bed beside Aiden and bit her lip.
Aiden finally noticed her presence and pulled away from Dean a bit. He wiped his eyes with one arm while his other hand gripped tightly to Dean's shirt.
Dean noticed how Aiden seemed embarrassed about his tears and a bit guilty.
'It's okay to cry' Dean said. It may be his way of life, but his son should never have to feel that crying was a bad thing or a sign of weakness. 'Everyone cries sometimes when things hurt' he said.
'Do you cry?' Aiden asked, needing some convincing.
'Sure' Dean nodded. 'If something hurts bad enough, I do' He then looked over at Rachel.
'Look at you two' she sniffed.
'I'm sorry I let him in mum!' Aiden said quickly. 'He just-'
'Hey, it's not your fault' Rachel jumped in. 'He's your dad, you know he wasn't going to hurt you so it's okay'
'Well, I could have been a bit scary monster for all you know' Dean joked but then shut up at Rachel's look of disapproval. Aiden however, giggled at that.
'Oh, see? He doesn't get how dangerous that is' Dean said, feeling a bit stupid but if it got Aiden laughing again then: what the heck? Dean grabbed Aiden and flew him through the air a bit, dumping him onto the bed and then started tickling him.
'Argh!' Aiden yelled out but was in a fit of giggled. 'Stop! Stop!' he laughed and then the motel door opened again.
'Ah' Dean straightened back up and looked serious again, seeing his not-so-happy brother standing there. 'I ah…better go' he sighed.
'Wait!' Aiden jumped off the bed and flung his arms around Dean's middle. 'Will you be back? Please?'
'I've got work to do' Dean sighed. 'But ah…I guess we could have lunch, or something' he shrugged, fearful that the boy would never let him go otherwise.
'Promise?' Aiden asked.
'I…' Dean wasn't about to say he did unless he meant it. 'Yeah, I promise…as long as that's okay with you?' he then turned to Rachel.
'Sure, sure!' Rachel nodded, biting her lip again.
'Okay, goodnight' he said to Aiden and bent down to give him a proper hug.
'Night' Aiden said and gave a little smile.
'Goodnight' Dean then muttered to Rachel.
She nodded and watched him turn to leave, but then ran to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Then she backed away and went to Aiden's side.
'Goodnight' she sighed.
'Well' Sam said as he followed Dean back to their room. 'How was your walk?' he then teased.
'Oh it was fine' Dean played along. 'Not much to see though, and it's a bit cold tonight'
'Yeah' Sam gave a quick laugh. 'Dude, you where there that whole time?'
'I guess, so?'
'So…Aiden looked happy' Sam sighed and shut the motel door. 'How did it feel? To…you know?'
Dean sat on his bed heavily and sighed, looking over at Sam's expectant face.
'Honestly?' he thought for a moment to actually work out how he had felt when he spoke with Aiden, comforted Aiden and then had to say goodbye. 'It felt sad' Dean replied. 'Because I'm not going to be here for him…he's going to grow up without me'
Sam sat across from Dean as he saw the tears in Dean's eyes. It was then that Sam realized how hard this really was for his brother.
'Three months aren't over yet Dean' he reminded him. 'Don't you think you owe it to Aiden? I mean he has the right to know his father before he disappears form his life forever'
'Yeah, I know' Dean nodded. 'But I'm going to tell him the truth. I don't want him to spend time with me or whatever and then "poof" one day I'm gone'
'It's not a nice feeling to know the person you care most about is going to die' Sam said, speaking from experience.
'Yeah well, just like you Sammy…he'll be fine' Dean nodded. 'You're all gonna be fine without me'
'It doesn't matter' Sam told him. 'Because I am not giving up on you'
Author's notes: There ya go! Please, if you're reading this...I really would love to hear what you think because reviews are my motivation and they also help me with the wiritng mof more chapters. So, please review and let me know what you think!
