She stood in the yawning mouth of the garage, arms folded, one foot tapping out an impatient staccato on the concrete floor. By her side lay Jack, his massive head propped up on her other foot. The outside light just barely penetrated the interior of the garage, leaving her face obscured by shadows. As the cruiser made its way down the drive, the dog sat up, his nose level with Sara's hip.

Dean found it easier to concentrate on Jack than to allow his eyes to try to penetrate the darkness for a glimpse of her features. He would have to face her soon enough and it was in his own self-interest that he delay that moment as long as he could. Facing Sara would be the death of him, of that he had no doubt. No demon, vampire, poltergeist, or werewolf could demand as much courage from him as these next few moments would require.

His only reprieve was the late hour. He could lay claim to exhaustion, flee to his bedroom and prolong the moment in which he'd have to pretend. It was weak as far as plans went but it was all that was left to him now. Hopefully, if given enough time he'd be able to shore up his emotions behind the wall that had served him so well in the past.

"You boys wait here."

The officer's voice broke through his reverie. While he'd been concentrating on finding a way to survive the next couple of hours the officer had parked the squad car in front of the garage door. As the older man climbed from the front seat, Dean, his eyes carefully averted, told his brother, "Make sure you don't leave any prints."

"I haven't touched a thing," Sam replied his gaze focused on the officer and Sara.

"Good, last thing we need is to leave our prints in a cop car."

"Dean?"

Dean wanted to rant and scream at his brother's tone of voice. "Don't, Sam. We didn't have a choice. All we can do now is try and pretend everything's okay."

"It's just I didn't want to mention it earlier but-"

"I know, Sam, about the boyfriend. I heard about it already." Dean didn't have to see his brother's expression to know what he looked like. The silence in the car rang with Sam's pity. "I said don't,Sam. It's her right, I left her. I was the one that told her to find a father for her children." Dean swallowed hard his eyes focused resolutely out the window. "Just don't."

Dean could tell that his brother longed to argue, to put those years of pre-law to use. He knew the only thing that stopped Sam's words was that he knew Dean was right. You could sugarcoat it any way you liked but when it came right down to it, a hunter's life just couldn't include a family.

"I'm sorry we're in this mess," Sam said, his tone of voice full of remorse.

"It's not like it's your fault, psychic boy. Not even you could have predicted that the car would be vandalized."

Sam let out a hoarse laugh that sounded a bit hysterical to Dean. Taking a closer look at his brother, he acknowledged that this wasn't going to be just hard on him. "I'm sorry, Sam. I know how much you miss them."

"Don't apologize, Dean. You're my brother and where you go, I go. That's all that matters."

888

Sara sat in front of the blue screen reading back what she'd written yesterday. She had to admit it was good. There were just certain days when she found the ideas were rolling faster than she could type them and yesterday had been one of them. If there was anything to be said about her insomnia it was that at least when she died of sleep deprivation her children wouldn't lack for money. In the last six months she'd been more productive than ever.

It seemed that the nightmares and anxieties that drove away her ability to sleep were the same things that fed her creativity. Sara gave a wry laugh, not that she wouldn't trade in her newfound productivity for a good nights sleep. The sad thing was that up until about a month ago, she'd convinced herself that she could manage to be a functioning part of society with only three or four hours a night. Lately, however, the lack of sleep finally seemed to be catching up with her. In fact, her work was the only area of her life where she truly felt in control. Everything else seemed to be spiraling out of her grasp.

A dull ache had taken up residence behind her eyes and it seemed to throb in time with her every heartbeat. She knew even the children were starting to sense that all wasn't right, especially Michael. Her middle child seemed most sensitive to her moods. It made perfect sense seeing as he was a tiny male replica of herself. He'd become clingy and edgy his moods more erratic by the day. Never far from her side now he'd become her constant shadow.

She had only recently become aware of the change in Mike's behavior after his teacher had mentioned his recent decline in interest at school. The elder lady's words had been like a bucket of cold water thrown in her face. All of the sudden she'd found herself awake and aware for the first time in over a month. Sara was still having trouble forgiving herself for letting things get so out of hand. Tonight had been the start of her new regime. Instead of allowing herself to hide behind the fog that had so recently invaded her life she had pushed past it. The results were instant. Michael had spent the night glowing from her extra attention. Jim's smile hadn't slipped once and Jess had laughed more than Sara could remember her laughing in quite a long time. Now all Sara had to do was to maintain her focus.

She could do it, she was sure. Twice now her life had come to an end and she had managed to live through it. A heart could break and yet still beat, Sara was living proof of that. The jagged pain she could ignore, it was the insidious fog that kept trying to slip through her defenses that she needed to watch out for. It was the fog that would steal her family from her if she wasn't careful. Sara had lost enough in her life, she didn't intend to lose anymore.

With a glance toward the clock, Sara readied herself to begin writing. She preferred to wear headphones while at the computer. It allowed her to concentrate better and kept the kids from being disturbed. Just as she reached to pick up the ear buds, the phone rang making her yelp in surprise. With her heart lodged in her throat she scrambled to pick up the receiver before the noise would wake the household. One look at the caller ID had instant tears in her eyes. The Quakertown police department wouldn't be calling at three in the morning for anything less than a catastrophe.

"Hello," she said, her voice trembling with fear.

"Hey there, Sara. This is Craig Carter."

Craig Carter was a second cousin of her late husband. Even after Jake had died they had stayed in touch. The older man had always treated her well and still acted as if she were family despite Jake's death. "What's wrong, Craig?"

"Nothing, darling, nothing at all. It's just I've got a couple of young men here who claim they know you. I wouldn't have bothered you except if they're on the up and up I wouldn't want to harass any friend of yours."

"I don't know...I mean who is it?" The lump in Sara's throat grew, if that was possible, as she contemplated the only 'men' who would claim to know her.

"Does the name Winters mean anything to you?"

For one split second in the interest of self-preservation Sara nearly answered 'no'. In saying yes she would be opening herself up to a pain that had taken six months just to gain control of. Acknowledging the boys would be akin to suicide, simply because she would not survive losing him again.

It was a promise made long ago that overrode her instincts and caused her to say, "Yeah, I know them. What happened?" She had made a promise to him and she would not break it for anything, even her own survival.

"Well, according to them, someone did a number on their car, leaving them stranded. I picked them up as they were walking through town."

Sara leaned forward the phone pressed against her ear and rested her forehead on the palm of her hand. "Just...a...bring them here."

"Honey, you okay? You sound like you're getting a cold."

Sara cleared her throat and put more effort into her words, "Naw, I'm good. I'd appreciate it if you'd just give them a lift out here. I can help them work out the car in the morning."

"Long as you're sure, Sara."

Sara forced herself to answer, "I'm sure."

"Will do then, I'll be by in a bit."

"Thanks, Craig"

With a trembling hand, Sara hit the end button on the receiver and dropped the phone onto her desk. No longer able to hold herself upright she slid to the floor in a boneless heap. Lying on her side, with her knees drawn to her chest, Sara did something she hadn't done since the day he'd walked away from her. She cried, not the single tear that seemed to slip out no matter how vigilant she was, but huge, gasping sobs that tore her throat and stole her breath.

888

Sara stepped out into the cool confines of the garage and hit the door opener. As the big door slid open, she couldn't help but smile as Jack darted out into the early morning air. In the dark the huge dog seemed little more than a blur of white darting too and from as he examined every little smell. Despite the winter coat she'd grabbed and her own arms wrapped tightly around her, Sara still couldn't stop the shivers that continued to wrack her body long after she'd cried all her tears. She was only waiting about five minutes when a car turned into her drive. Without instruction from her, Jack returned to her side. The big dog, perhaps sensing her unease, pushed himself as close as he could to her before dropping to the ground with a thump, his big head coming to rest on her sneaker.

As the cruiser made its way toward the house, Sara felt as if she was going to fly apart. At last unable to hold still she began tapping her foot in time with the beating of her heart. At last the police car parked, the lights were dosed and the driver-side door was opened. She found herself cursing as she watched Craig step from the car. He knew her too well, she was afraid he would note her nervousness and take it as a sign something was wrong. Sara had spent too much of her time ensuring that no one realized just how bad things had gotten and she didn't want to start rumors now.

Determined to play her part, Sara smiled at Craig and waited for him to approach. As the older man enfolded her in a bone-crushing hug, she found herself studying the car hoping for even the smallest glimpse of the passengers she knew waited inside. "You didn't toss them out did you?"

Craig grinned and gestured over his shoulder. "Naw, they're in there as promised. I just wanted to make sure this is okay. There's...well there's something about these two. I'm just not sure I should leave them here with you when you're all alone."

Sara found that this time she didn't have to fake her smile. "You have nothing to be worried about. They're good friends."

Craig watched her a moment before he finally nodded. "If you're sure then," he said as he headed for the car.

Sara suddenly couldn't watch. After six of the longest months in her life she couldn't stand the thought of meeting him once more face to face let alone with the current audience. Sam was bad enough, but for her to break down in front of Craig would be more than her battered pride could take. Looking up, she spotted the bright orange full moon, taking comfort in it's familiarity she slowly willed the tension from her limbs.

Finally, she felt confident enough to look up. Her first thought as she watched Sam step out from the vehicle, a duffle bag in his hand, was that the younger Winchester had aged. Nothing specific jumped out at her, he just seemed somehow more mature than he had when he left. His ready smile hadn't changed a bit, though, and Sara found herself returning it in full measure.

Without conscious thought, Sara launched herself at Sam with a cry of joy. As his strong arms enfolded her in a tight squeeze, Sara shut her eyes and concentrated on enjoying this moment. Pressed against his chest, she breathed in the scent that was unique to Sam. "Sam," she breathed unable to say anything else.

That one word triggered a slight sob that she struggled to suppress as quickly as it made an appearance. Sam being Sam, he seemed to understand just what she was going through. He continued to hold her tight, his arms like bands of steel. At long last, he brushed a kiss over the top of her head and eased back from her.

It was then that Sara noticed Jack's mixture of growls and whines. Avoiding Sam's probing gaze, she released her death grip on him and turned to find her dog making an absolute fool of himself. Gone was the powerhouse threat that she'd raised. In his place was a whining mass of blubbering dog. It was a testament to Dean's sense of balance and his strength that he hadn't gone down yet. Jack was using his huge square head to push Dean repeatedly. That combined with the way his giant paws kept trying to hook around Dean's feet made the hunter's balance precarious to say the least.

Dean finally stopped trying to move forward and looked up at Sara. As she at last looked into his familiar face, she felt her heart clench. So powerful was the feeling she almost cried out. In the last six months Dean had changed, and yet remained so familiar that she longed to launch herself at him as she had Sam. His normally short sandy color hair was a bit longer on top and at the moment it stuck up in spikes as if he'd been repeatedly running his fingers through it. Given that the man, who was wanted by the law, had just climbed out of a squad car, she had no doubt he had been. Another change she noted was his face. No longer did he sport five o'clock shadow. Somewhere along the way he must have given up shaving altogether. The sandy colored beard he now sported only served to emphasize his beautiful eyes and drew even more attention to his full bottom lip. He looked thinner also, which worried her, and his eyes were heavily shadowed with fatigue. Sara could only hope it was simply a long hunt that had given him such a worn look and not something more serious.

Hope was something that regularly passed over the Winchester brothers so Sara cautioned herself for the worst. The idea that Dean might be missing her and thus was losing sleep over his decision never occurred to Sara. How could it when she'd readily accepted that she was in no way enough for the man that now avoided meeting her gaze.

"Hey, Dean," Sara spoke softly and mainly for Craig's benefit as the seasoned lawman seemed to be watching her for a reaction.

Dean still trying to keep his feet nodded and with a resigned sigh sank to the ground. The moment he did, Jack dropped down beside him and proceeded to wiggle his mass onto Dean's lap. It was only once the dog was certain he was as close as he could get that he dropped his head with a heavy sigh against the hunter's chest. With a sigh loud enough to be heard by all, Jack closed his eyes and was still. Sara found she couldn't blame the animal, in fact, his behavior suggested to her that Jack's intelligence far outweighed her own as he was in the exact position she wished she could be.

"Well, I guess I can relax about leaving these two with you now. That dog's keener than a hound on a rabbit when it comes to detecting trouble." Jack let out another sigh and buried his head in Dean's armpit. "I'm gonna head out. I'm on duty till six a.m. boys I'll be sure to cruise on by that car of yours every now and again and make sure nothing else happens to it."

"Appreciate it, officer," Sam said as he raised a hand in thank you to the older man.

"Bye, Craig, and thanks again." As Craig climbed into the car and proceeded to turn around, Sara found herself suddenly uncomfortable with the idea that she was about to be alone with the brothers. Well if she were honest she would admit it wasn't Sam that unnerved her. "Come on inside boys, you both look beat."

Not bothering to see if they followed, Sara headed into the garage and continued into the house. She only paused as she stepped inside. A moment later Sam stepped in behind her his head nearly brushing the door frame, it was funny she had forgotten just how tall he was. His height was something that you just didn't seem to notice after a while. It was only at times like these when she hadn't seem him in a while that she realized just how large and powerful he really was. Unable to stop the silly grin that teased the corners of her mouth Sara nodded toward the spare bedroom. "Room's ready, you guys must be exhausted..." here Sara fumbled a bit as she saw Dean step up behind his brother. Shaking off her sudden bout of nerves she continued, "you know where everything is, just help yourselves to whatever you need."

Dean nodded, his gaze settling slightly to her left, "We won't get in your way. We ran into a little trouble with the car, but it's nothing we shouldn't be able to get straightened out."

Sara nodded, careful to keep her focus on Sam. "Like I said, whatever you need." Sara turned to leave but at the last moment hesitated. With her back to both men she said, "The kids don't know that you're here. If your plan is to leave town right away I'd ask that you keep it that way. The keys to the jeep are on the hook, you can just leave it in town at the hotel. If you're planning on staying for a visit, breakfast will be ready in the morning." Not wanting to hear the answer, Sara left, her long strides carrying her through the dining room and into the living room.