I said this was a crackfic, and I meant it; let the crack begin! (as if House/Cuddy getting married in Vegas wasn't crack enough). And as per all my stories, had to throw a little angst in this one too…

Chapter 6

They sat around the hotel room finishing off the last of the meals delivered by room service when Cuddy asked, "So, you're not angry?"

Wilson smiled, "Why would I be angry? Oh no, do you have any idea how much fun I intend to have with this information? Blackmail is a wonderful thing."

"You can't tell anyone," she said with fear creeping into her voice, "It could mean my job."

"And what makes you think that someone from PPTH won't find out now that several hundred doctors in that auditorium know about your little secret?"

"Wilson."

He placed both hands up in a defensive stop motion, "Hey I'm just saying, don't be surprised if everyone knows by the time we get back."

House looked over at Cuddy, "You gonna finish that?"

"Not hungry," she said, passing her uneaten salad to him. She arched her back moments later, still feeling uncomfortable.

"You should go have that x-rayed," Wilson said, "We could skip the afternoon and take you in."

"No, I'm fine, really. I've just been so tense trying to sit so my back wouldn't bother me, that now my shoulder's a bit sore. I'm okay."

House eyed her, but before he could say anything, there was a knock at the door. Wilson answered, thanked the delivery person and gave him a small tip. Without turning around, he quickly rifled through the two dozen pictures taken at the wedding the night prior, and was shocked at the passionate kiss the two had shared; he couldn't keep from laughing at the deer in the headlights look both House and Cuddy sported in several of the other photos.

"What?" House asked, walking towards Wilson, "Hey, mitts off."

Wilson tucked a photo of the kiss, and one with the judge into his breast pocket before turning around to face House, "Are you sure this wedding was just for the bet?" he asked, holding up an incriminating photo of the kiss.

"Give me those," House said, grabbing at the pictures.

"I know a real kiss when I see one."

"I figured I should take advantage of the situation," House said defensively. He didn't see Cuddy's smile fade at his comment, but Wilson did.

"We better go," Wilson marched towards the door.

"I'll meet you outside in a minute," House motioned for Wilson to go on ahead and then turned his attention towards Cuddy.

"Did you mean that?" She asked, once Wilson was gone.

"Mean what?"

"That you only took advantage of the situation?" She paused, "I thought…"

"You thought what?"

"I thought there was more to that kiss."

She leaned back against the headboard on the bed, and placed her feet up. House walked over towards the bed and sat on the edge, next to her.

Avoiding her question, he focused on her back pain, "If you're really hurting that much, you need to tell me."

She sighed, frustrated with the change in subject, "I'm fine, House. I'm a doctor too."

"Doctors make the worst patients."

"Only when they're misanthropic cripples," she said rather harshly.

"And they make for the crankiest of patients."

"You better go; you're already late for the conference. I'm staying here."

House stood from the bed, "Don't ignore your symptoms."

"Is this you caring?"

"No, just trying to protect my reputation. How would it look if my wife broke her back and I ignored it?"

"Stop calling me your wife."

"You called me your husband."

"Did not."

House smiled, leaned in close to her and stared her in the eye briefy. He could hear her breathing and she was somewhat nervous about his intentions. Not quite oblivious to what he was doing, and yet not really expecting it either, she couldn't help but inhale slightly as he gently leaned down and placed his lips on her forehead. They both knew his guise of checking her temperature was a farse.

Smirking, he leaned back "Yes you did. In fact, you called me your brilliant husband when you explained the fall to Wilson."

Cuddy blushed, "I was being sarcastic."

House set the pictures on the night stand and opened the door, "There was nothing sarcastic about that kiss."


House and Wilson approached the conference room, and found themselves being ushered away by hotel security and staff.

"What's going on?" Wilson asked a fellow conference goer.

"A fire broke out inside the auditorium, about half of…"

Before the doctor could finish explaining that half the conference goers were already inside the auditorium, a member of security called out, "Please make your way to the nearest exit as soon as possible, this is an evacuation."

Wilson turned to look at House, "Cuddy."

House nodded and the two headed towards the elevator bay, only to be stopped by another staff member, "Sorry, the elevators are closed. Please evacuate immediately."

Wilson interjected, "But our boss, she's upsta…"

"All the rooms are being evacuated by hotel staff; please make your way to the nearest exit as quickly and calmly as possible."

House's temper flared, "Wilson," he pulled his sleeve and led him towards the stairwell, where again they were stopped by a member of security.

"Sorry, the stairwell is strictly for those who are exiting the upper floors, please head to the exit."

House's anger bubbled up, and hoping his ploy would work he said, "But my WIFE is upstairs."

"Sir, please there will be a meeting area in front of the hotel where you will find your wife. No one is allowed upstairs."

It was Wilson this time who pulled House's sleeve. He noted the slight panic in House's voice, though he was unsure if it was an act to try and convince the security guard, or if it was in genuine concern for Cuddy. Regardless, Wilson decided to use a reassuring tone with him, "Come on, knowing Cuddy, she's probably outside triaging the burn victims."


She heard the knocking on the door; actually, she heard the pounding on the door and got up, swearing she would murder them if they'd forgotten the room key. Her back and now her shoulder ached and the last thing she wanted to do was get up.

She whipped open the door, prepared to spew angry words when she looked on at an unfamiliar face, "Sorry, but the whole hotel is being evacuated. There's a fire downstairs. It's contained to one room but we are requiring an evacuation to ensure everyone's safety."

"Oh, okay." She was stunned, certainly not at all what she was expecting.

Cuddy turned to grab a few things when the attendant called out, "No time to grab personal belongings, please make your way to the stairwell."

"I need shoes," she said, pointing towards her feet.

"Right, quickly please."

Cuddy walked over to the bed, put her shoes on and grabbed the stack of photos sitting on the nightstand. She then walked with the rest of the hotel guests on her floor towards the stairwell.


"She's not here," House practically shouted over the din.

Wilson looked at the various faces in the crowd on the hotel's front parking lot, "She'll be here," he said, trying to calm both himself and House.

Wilson hated to mention it, but it was something they hadn't done yet, "Maybe would should check the triage area,"

"She wasn't in the auditorium; she's not burned Wilson."

"No, but her back was bothering her and if they assisted her out, they may have taken her to the triage area."

House shook his head, "You check the triage area, I'll stay here to watch for her. Keep your cell phone turned on."


A half an hour passed with no word from Cuddy; he hadn't heard from Wilson either. House made his way to the triage area and found Wilson bandaging someone's arm.

"I thought you were looking for Cuddy?"

"I am, but as long as I'm here, I may as well make myself useful."

"Thanks to the convention, there're more doctors here than there are patients." House said annoyed.

"It doesn't hurt to help, House."

"It doesn't hurt to look for Cuddy either."

"I thought we had both bases covered with me here and you waiting near the front. I take it you haven't found her yet."

"Brilliant deduction there, Sherlock."

"House, I know you're worried, but she's probably just fi…"

"I'm not worried."

Wilson sighed, "Right, no reason to be remotely concerned for your boss who might be trapped in a burning building, much less for your wife. Never mind she can barely stand because of her back."

"The fire's out; security's already gearing up to let us back into the hotel. She's not trapped in a burning building, she's just somewhere in that crowd out there."

"Probably looking for us, worried sick. We were supposed to be in that auditorium you know; imagine what she must be thinking."

House half heartedly smirked, "Yeah, how she'll spend my life insurance policy."

A/N: As far as hotel fires go…I've been in one. Well, not actually IN the fire. We were on vacation in London and my mom, grandma and I were in one tower and my sis and her bf were in another. My sister's tower was evacuated due to a fire in one of the kitchens, our tower was not. Everything was fine; the fire was contained to the kitchen but wow, it was an ordeal at 2am!

My poor mom's been in three hotel fires (maybe I should rethink staying in a hotel with her!). One of them was in Carson City, NV and a hotel guest fell asleep smoking, which caught the bedding on fire. The hotel was evacuated with the fire contained to the one floor, but still. Scary stuff.