Chapter Thirteen
I hugged my pillow tighter, knowing there was no use in sleeping, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep for the same reason I hadn't been for the I don't know how long. I heard a tapping on the window and my head snapped up, glaring at the figure in the window. For reasons unknown, I opened it but didn't move to let him in, instead I glared up at him.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"We need to talk," he croaked and I folded my arms, noting his hair was a complete mess.
"I think we've talked enough," I growled, glaring at him. He averted his eyes but not before I saw a hint of guilt. "Fix your god damn hair Conlon." He reached up, smoothening it out but I moved towards the bed, letting him in. Eventually, I sighed at his stare. "What do you want from me Conlon? Cause obviously, I'm getting mixed signals."
"Sydney, it's harder, it's not, I mean," but he couldn't seem to finish.
"Spot, either you-."
"It's not that simple," he snapped.
"Well then explain it to me Spot, don't lie to my face and purposely make me feel like that." He dropped his head, running a hand through his hair.
"You can read me pretty well huh?" he smiled weakly. When I didn't respond, he sat on the edge of the bed, staring at his hands.
"I can't read you Spot," I whispered and he turned to me, "Otherwise, I'd know how you feel."
"You know how I feel, Sydney."
"But then why the hell do act the way you do," I almost yelled, slamming my fist against the mattress.
"It's complicated," he muttered, standing.
"Don't you dare put on that mask now Spot," I growled, grabbing his arm and turning his around while I went up on my knees, "Don't even try."
"You read me well enough," he stated; I didn't completely get the comment but I felt his hand against my cheek and tilted my head into his touch slightly. It felt so good. He smiled slightly, stroking my cheek with his thumb and before I knew it, I was softly singing:
" Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will
No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't workin'
It ain't workin'
And when I try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy
This is crazy. "
"Just be yourself," he murmured, resting his nose against mine, "Don't change." I smiled, lacing my fingers through his loose hand. I saw the warmth in his eyes and my smile widened.
"You're an odd child, Spot Conlon," I whispered, tucking my face into his neck and wrapped my arms around him. He, slowly, followed the suit, resting his chin on my head. "I don't understand this either."
"What's there not to understand?" he asked, moving beside my ear, "I want you to be my girl." I pulled back, looking him square in the eyes. "Sydney, I don't completely get how you make me feel, but I know it's different. It's like you fill a space that I didn't even know was there."
"It's called your heart," I laughed and he smiled. I felt my own heart flip inside my rib cage and bit my lip.
"Whatever it is," he moved closer, "Now I know it's there, I don't want it empty again."
"So what was yesterday?" I asked quietly, sitting back.
"I don't know," he admitted, "I just, I guess I thought that if I pushed you away, the-."
"Feeling," I supplied when he didn't finish and he nodded.
"I figured it would go away but, god, was I wrong. When Hic told me that Knuckles had taken you, I knew things had changed, permanently. I knew I couldn't just push it away and I had to deal with it. I realized, I would be the stupidest man alive if I let someone like you walk away."
"Who are you," I asked slowly, raising an eyebrow, "What have you done with Spot Conlon?" He laughed and I felt chills erupt throughout my body, how did he have such an effect on me?
"It's still me, Sydney, I'm just not lying to you," he smiled, "I'm just letting my mouth run."
"How can you do that so easily?" I asked, tilting my head.
"You make it pretty easy," he sat in front of me. I felt my cheeks heat and he chuckled, my blush deepening.
"Stop it."
"Stop what?" tilting his own head.
"Whatever it is you're doing?" I muttered, "It's making me act all weird."
"You make me act the same way," he smiled and I couldn't help but smile back.
"I don't understand you."
"You don't have to, Sydney, you just have to trust me." I inhaled a deep breath, letting it out, I thought about it.
"Why am I thinking about this?"
"Uhm," he was suddenly nervous and I laughed.
"Spot, I," I started with trouble but closed my eyes, "I like you. I really, really, really like you." He was quiet and I opened an eye slightly to see a huge smile on his face.
"You said really three times."
"Well thank you Captain obvious," I laughed and he leaned closer, planting a firm kiss on my lips, "What does this mean Spot?"
"What do you want it to mean?"
"I don't know! I'm seventeen years old, you're the one-."
"Just cause I'm older doesn't mean I know everything," he smiled, "You wont ever hear me say that again."
"You dork," I smiled back, "C'mere, we need to talk."
"I said it first," he sighed dramatically but I rolled my eyes playfully, patting the spot beside me.
"C'mon you big baby." He smirked, sitting next to me but wasted not time in wrapping both arms around me and pulling me into his lap. We stayed like that for a while, my head rested against his chest, counting his heartbeats before he broke the silence.
"I think you're the one, Syd."
"The one what?" I asked confused.
"The one." I stared at him, eyebrow raised and he lowered his head. "The one I'm supposed to give up everything for. The one I want to settle down with. The one."
"Oh, that one," I shifted so I was facing him fully, "You know giving up the Newsies would be a pretty stupid idea Spot. You care about them way to much. I can wait, it'll be painful, but it'll give us more time to get to know one another."
"And think of reasons why we bug each other," he smirked.
"True, true," I laughed.
"But I'm nineteen Sydney, I can't run the Newsies my entire life."
"As long as you're happy Spot, I really don't mind."
"I don't know what to do," he muttered; he sounded truly torn and while one part of me was slightly annoyed, the other completely understood.
"Let's just get to know each other a little better then."
"I think we know each other pretty damn well Sydney," he smiled, "What'd you think of Metal?"
"He's a sweet kid, great with crowds," I muttered.
"I think, when he's ready, I'll leave him in charge."
"You mean when you're ready," I smiled, "You aren't ready Spot, I get it."
"I'm glad."
"But I can't stand this shit, I'm leaving Queens to Jaws."
"What why?" he asked confused.
"He's got more love for it, I like my old job. I proved I could do it, but if I have to deal with one more morning of Jaws and Nets singing I'll rip my hair out, plus I miss Carter and Piper and everyone."
"That's understandable," he decided.
"Some people were made to lead, I just wasn't made to lead Newsies," I shrugged and he smiled.
"Where does this leave us?"
"I thought we decided."
"But I want to hear you say it."
"If anyone should say it, you should Spot," I laughed, leaning against him again. He rested his chin on my head again and we sat in silence for a while before:
"Syd, will you go out with me?"
