Disclaimer: Naruto, his friends and the universe they live in don't belong to me but to Masashi Kishimoto. I don't make any money with this story, but write it solely for my own enjoyment.
A/N: Sorry for the long wait – I had a lot of work these last two weeks, then I was a bit ill, and it was my turn to write the chapter discussion of chapter 402. But here it is now... More A/N at the end of the chapter.
Epilogue: To protect his friendship
The five minutes that followed were pure horror. The pain in my eye almost made me faint, but I did not, I was too scared for it. With darkness all around me I felt absolutely helpless, an easy prey for anyone who would attack me, not able to defend myself, even to flee, as I could not see where I was running to. Even if I was not attacked I would die because I could not care for myself – if Sasuke abandoned me I would die most miserably. (Zetsu did not count; he, as the other members of Akatsuki, had only obeyed me because I was strong.)
It was pure horror while it lasted: Sitting there, stiff and tense with fear as a rabbit in front of a snake, not daring to move, as I had no idea what was going on around me, or what actually existed around me – but it were not the worst five minutes of my life, as I first thought. No, really not. Having to leave the village after my defeat against the First Hokage, or the look of disgust in my lover's face when she learnt that I had plucked out my brother's eyes and told me never to come near her again – or the horror when she caught me and Itachi killing those leaders of the clan, and the moment when Itachi struck her down, destroying all hope of ever making up with her: these have been moments of utter despair, with my heart all cold and dark and empty, cut off from everything that gave it hope and joy – now it was merely fear for my life, and anyway, it did not last long, as five minutes later Sasuke returned, and with him he brought the jinchuuriki.
His chakra presence was as strong as Sasuke's, though of a different, lighter nature, and as easily discernible. Also, he was very audible - as soon as he had arrived he was shouting at Sasuke:
"What are you doing? Why are you abducting me? What do you think gives you the right to take me with you as you please?"
So Sasuke had been able to interrupt the fight that had been going on between Konan and Pein and the Konoha team and get Naruto out of it.
"You had completely lost control to the kyuubi", he replied. "Someone had to do something. - Zetsu!" he called, "go back to the fighting-ground immediately and stop the fighting! I want everyone alive – the Konoha team, and the Akatsuki, and my own team as well. Tell them to meet us here."
I wondered whether Zetsu would take orders from him, but as it seemed he shifted his loyalty rather easily to the person who now was the strongest shinobi in the closer vicinity:
"How shall I stop the fighting?" he asked.
"Tell them the truth: That Madara betrayed them."
"What!" I cried out. "Do you want me dead? What have I done to you?"
"Not to me – to them. You will have to explain yourself to them."
I felt Zetsu vanish. His chakra had been barely perceivable, being overshadowed by that of the two boys (and probably by my own), still I felt the change when he had gone.
I would have to improve my chakra sensing skills, I realized. Having always been able to see chakra, I had never seen the necessity of it. Even when I had lost one of my eyes to the cataract, I still relied only on my Sharingan.
Sasuke took my hand.
"What have you done?" he asked me, his voice shaking with emotion. "Why did you do this? You are really absolutely crazy!"
"I have done the wrong thing so often in my life", I answered, "that once at least I wanted to do what is right."
He embraced me, rather abruptly, forgetting that I was blind and could not see what he was going to do and was not able respond to it, so that his embrace came rather as a shock than a comfort.
"It was not the right thing", he said. "It was stupid and risky and unnecessary. We might have gone together and saved him together – I did not want you sacrifice – I did not need your eyes."
He dissolved the embrace. "You should not have done it", he repeated. "I preferred you strong and with your sight."
"Sasuke", I heard the jinchuuriki ask, "who is that man? Why did he give you his eyes? Why did you bring me to this place?"
"May I introduce", Sasuke said in a tone of mock formality, "Naruto, this is Uchiha Madara, last survivor of my clan except for myself. Madara, this is Uzumaki Naruto, a shinobi of the Leaf and former teammate of mine, and just as crazy as you are. Also, as you already know, he is the kyuubi's jinchuuriki."
"You are not the sole survivor of your clan?" Naruto asked. "How's that? How did he survive the massacre?"
"He participated in it – he was Itachi's accomplice. He will explain it to you – he has a lot of stories to tell, and some of them concern you as they concern me – ask him whatever question you like, he will answer them all, though not always truthfully. Don't be afraid, he has lost all his power when he gave his eyes to me, and anyway, I am close by and can help out if anything should happen."
"What are you talking about, Sasuke?" Naruto asked. "I don't need you to help me out! I am as strong as you are!"
Sasuke did not reply to this, he stood up and left us, too upset with all that had happened to continue the conversation.
"What is it all about?" Naruto asked me. "Why did you give him your eyes? Why did he bring me here?"
I told him: "My eyes can control the kyuubi", I said. "I gave this power to him so that he could help you out – you really needed to be saved, no matter what you say: The kyuubi had taken control, and if it had lasted for much longer you would have lost yourself..."
"So Sasuke has power over the kyuubi now", Naruto said musingly. "And thus over me."
"He always had", I replied. "Though I guess that he has also power over your heart, which is far worse. Your only chance is to gain power over his heart in your turn."
He did not answer.
"It's been your fate", I continued, "from the very time of your birth. It was him who unwillingly summoned the kyuubi when he was an infant, they sealed up his chakra so that he could not use it, they tried to break him so that they could use him as a tool to control the kyuubi and, consequently, you, they even tried to make him kill you, but he would not do it."
I expanded those last points, though I did not know how much of it was true – even though the idea of Sasuke being manipulated to kill him and thus free Konoha from the kyuubi for good had not even been my own – I have no idea why I did it – I think it was just out of habit.
It was difficult of course to talk to someone without seeing his reactions.
"It does not make sense", he suddenly interrupted me. "If he can control the kyuubi, and had this power from his birth, why did you give him your eyes?"
"It made sense", I said. "He wanted to save you, and I wanted to support him as well as I could. I wanted to protect his friendship."
"And thus you lost your own power over the kyuubi", he said. "And your vision."
"It's okay", I answered, and it really was.
"Doesn't it hurt?" he went on asking.
"It's okay", I answered again. He suggested cooling the wound, so we went inside, where he gave me a wet piece of cloth to put it on my eye. He had to help me with everything, and I began to realize what being blind really meant.
"It does not look blind", he said. "How did you give it to him? Did you really pluck it out yourself?"
"Of course not", I answered, "it would have got crushed." I explained to him how I had done it.
"Maybe it is still possible to do something about it", he said. "When my team arrives. One of my teammates is a capable med nin. She'll have a look at it."
"I don't think it's among the things that can be cured by medical ninjutsu", I answered.
Having overcome his initial shock he had adapted rather quickly to the new situation, and all in all he gave the impression of being rather laid-back, in no way as troubled and tense and distrusting as Sasuke.
"How did he bring you here?" I asked him.
He shrugged. "I don't remember much – I was indeed overcome by the kyuubi. My memory sets in when he was at my side, and we were both surrounded by the demon fox's chakra. He took my arm, made the fox return into its cage, and then he brought me here. He did not say hello, or how are you, nor did he tell me that he was going to take me out of the fight – he just took me with him. - You'll have to ask him, if you want to know more..."
And as if he had been called, Sasuke was with us again. He had calmed down now: "I had to act quickly", he said. "To prevent the kyuubi from causing more damage, and because I did not want to leave Madara alone for too long. Anyway, he told me to bring you here."
"I understand that you did not want to leave him alone", Naruto said. "But you did not have to take me with you."
"It was not safe. You could have changed back at any moment. Or you could have been captured."
There was a silence of a few minutes. It was scary for me, even though the boys' chakra presences let me feel that they were still with me. It was not enough: I needed to hear them as well.
Naruto spoke first, his voice hoarse with emotion.
"I am glad to be with you again", he said. "And I will take you back to Konoha."
"Have you heard his stories?" Sasuke replied. "Do you still want to return?"
"I heard them – are they true? Do you think that they are true? Did they really try to use you to control me? Did they really intend us to become friends so that you would kill me and help them to get rid of the kyuubi? Sasuke, you don't regret that we became best friends, do you, even though it furthered their plans?"
"I don't", he answered. "Honestly, I have no idea which of his stories are true. I have no idea what's true at all – he made me doubt everything I ever thought I knew, and everything I did as well. There's only one thing I know for sure: That I don't regret having you as my best friend, and that I did the right thing when I did not kill you."
"So it was not on a whim..."
"Of course it wasn't. How could you believe it?"
"I did not believe it. How could you believe that I should believe it?"
They were silent again, and again I felt scared and forsaken without their voices assuring me of their presence.
"Don't press so hard", Sasuke finally said. "I still have to breathe!" and thus I knew that they were embracing.
"Will you go with me to Konoha and help me find the truth?" Sasuke went on.
"I will – stop talking nonsense, Sasuke, you will go back to Konoha with me, as I always said you would..."
They were silent again, and I guessed that they were embracing again.
"I just have to touch you", Naruto said. "I just have to make sure that you are really with me."
Finally they remembered me, and Sasuke remembered that Naruto had not eaten. We went to the kitchen, and I realized what being blind meant; I had to be led, and Sasuke held my arm while Naruto pulled the chair back so that I could sit down. I could not help preparing the meal, and they had to guide my hands when I was searching for my cup or for my food. (They overdid, in my opinion. I would have to learn to eat by myself, eventually, and I am already much better at it than I was at the beginning.)
They spread out my mattress and sheets for me, they helped me undress and wash, and accompanied me outside to a place where I could pee. It was more embarrassing to them than it was to me, I realized – though Naruto was a bit more relaxed about it than Sasuke. He talked all the time, trying to make me feel comfortable, though he advised me to get some female nurses, who'd probably be more interesting, but who, on the other hand, would not know how to wash me properly.
"You don't do it properly", I replied, for he was far too embarrassed for this. "I will do it myself."
They did their best, and they meant well, and with this they made up for their clumsiness and their embarrassment.
I felt strangely light-hearted, though I had lost my sight. Sasuke obviously no longer planned to kill me, and his friend, the jinchuuriki, was kind-hearted, relaxed, spontaneous, funny – I liked him from the very beginning, and I hoped that some of it would rub off on Sasuke. He was far too serious and had spent far too much of his life preparing for revenge, instead of having fun and making friends with kids of his age as a teenager should do.
They had prepared my bed in the room where Sasuke slept, and where Naruto was going to sleep as well. I would not sleep alone – it would have been a nightmare, I needed to know that they were near.
Sasuke sat down with me while Naruto washed himself in the kitchen. He took my hand, then embraced me – or rather we embraced, as this time he was more careful and gave me time to respond.
"I wish you had not done it", he said. "I wish you were still strong and powerful and could teach me what I need to know."
What he most needed to learn, I thought, was to laugh – and his friend, I knew, would be better at teaching him that than I was.
"You don't need me", I said. "You'll find out by yourself. Hasn't everything turned out well for you? Your friend is with you again, and he will help you find out the truth."
"Yeah", he answered.
"You are really lucky with him."
"Yeah", he said again, but he did not sound as if he was convinced. "But I have no idea what to do. He's always touching me – you cannot see it – he always touches me and says he wants to reassure himself that I am still with him."
"Tell him it's annoying, and that no matter how often he touches you, you can still use space-time-ninjutsu, so that he has to trust you to stay with him."
"It's not annoying. I just don't know what to do."
I began to suspect the truth. "Return the favor", I suggested.
"I can't. He'll get suspicious. He's still innocent."
Things made sense now – his refusal to find a wife, his rather personal questions – he had not asked them in order to manipulate me, it appeared.
"I have dreamt of him – indecent dreams. I did not want them – I wanted to focus on my revenge – I just could not help it."
"It's erotic dreams", I said. "They are called erotic dreams."
"I can't touch him. He'll notice, and he's still innocent and naive."
He was really weird, and complicated, but I loved him just like that and pressed him against me.
"You'll manage", I whispered into his ear. "Just trust your heart. And your friend – and now be quiet: He has come in."
I should advise him not to rely on his Sharingan alone, I thought, but also to train his chakra-sensing skills.
"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked. "I am not naive! Stop underestimating me!"
We dissolved the embrace.
"Where shall I put up my bed?" Naruto asked.
"Wherever you want!"
It was now Sasuke's turn to wash. Naruto asked whether I was fine, and I bade him to keep talking, which was no problem for him.
"I'll sleep next to you", he announced, when Sasuke returned. "Just to make sure that you don't disappear."
Things were going to be complicated, I realized, for both of them, but at the same time I was glad that for once they were busy with problems that went with being fifteen, and not with all the stuff that was far too heavy for their still not yet full-grown shoulders.
I feared that they'd annoy me with their talking but actually they made me feel at peace, and safe, as their voices assured me of their presence. I fell asleep before they did.
I also woke up before they did. It was scary to open my eyes and still see nothing... I sat again stiff and tense with fear, even though I heard the boys' regular breathing. Only when Naruto woke up and wished me a good morning I felt safe again.
"Are you all right?" he asked. "Do you need anything? Can I help you?"
I cursed my helplessness – I did not want to disturb him – but I needed him indeed to lead me into the kitchen and help me wash myself, and then lead me outside so that I could enjoy the morning – feel the wind and the sun on my skin, and listen to the birds I could not see.
It's lucky that I don't think of the consequences of my actions, or I would never have found the courage to give my eyes away.
Naruto sat down next to me. He put his arm around my shoulders, and I was glad of it. In these first days of my blindness I craved physical contract. Now it has changed – there are times when I enjoy being alone.
"Don't ever break his heart", I said. "He has suffered a lot, but he is, all in all, a kind-hearted young man. Don't make him suffer any more."
I was still not sure whether I wanted them to be together. A part of mine regretted it as it meant that Sasuke would not continue the clan, but I also wanted him to find happiness, and I thought that with this friend his chances for it were quite good.
"I won't break his heart", Naruto said. "He has done it to me, three years ago, and it still hurts, and I would not do it to him."
We remained silent, until Sasuke joined us, bringing some coffee with him. He sat down on my other side, putting his arm around my shoulder, so that the boys' arms met behind my back, and I could feel that they were much more comfortable with touching each other than they had been the night before.
"If you want to make him happy", Sasuke said in this weirdly self-satisfied tone of his, "you'll have to make him talk about the woman he once loved."
"Why? What about her?" Naruto asked, and thus we passed the time until the arrival of the Konoha team.
So this, Lady Tsunade, is my own story, told in my own words. Kakashi, who has brought me to your throne – wait, he's just telling me that I am not in the throne hall but just in your office, in front of your desk – Kakashi, who has brought me to your desk has told you the rest: How Pein went crazy after hearing that I had betrayed them, and threatened to kill me, and in the end the Konoha team had to take him down. Konan, Zetsu and Kisame were more reasonable, they agreed to be taken prisoners and to be brought to Konoha, just as I did.
I wanted to be taken to Konoha – I would have loved to see again the town that I helped to found, but as it seems, I have to be content to feel its pavement beneath my feet, and to hear the noise of its streets. The med nin of the Konoha team has had a look at my eyes, and she has done her best, but she was not able to return me my eyesight – she said that you might have a look, both at the eye I gave to Sasuke and at the eye I lost to the cataract.
I would love to see Konoha again, and I would be grateful to you if you at least gave it a try, as a last favour before I am executed for all my crimes – though maybe you will decide to grant me pardon – I would appreciate it, even though I am blind. I have always lived life to the fullest, accepting everything it had to offer to me, love and loneliness, pride and shame, joy and despair, and now, after having been strong for all my life, I will taste weakness, and old age, and depending on others who care for me. They care well for me, Sasuke and his friend, even though they are still a bit awkward and easily embarrassed. I would like to live for a few more years and then finally die of old age – but I am ready to accept death if you decide that this is what I deserve.
I only plead for the boy, the last of my descendants, that he should be allowed to live, and to enter the village freely without fear of being killed or taken prisoner, and that you give him all the support he needs in finding out the truth about himself.
He's waiting for your answer now, outside the gates of Konoha, and with him is his friend, the jinchuuriki. They haven't been lazy during our journey to Konoha, and by now they have learnt to control the kyuubi and to use it quite efficiently.
A/N: So this is the end of my story – my happier version of what happens in the canon. Thanks to everyone who commented on it and who read it! Your encouragement gave me the strength to continue it! I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope that you still like "my" Madara!
I am a bit sorry for turning him blind – now we could not see what was going on between the two boys. (My beta, eowyn unquendor, said that it was a clever way to guard the boys' privacy, but this time it was too much for me. Only that I loved the self-sacrifice scene so much that I rather sacrificed some love scenes.)
Though perhaps it is better as it is – I have written enough Sasunaru already, I don't need more.
And now I will return to the canon and hope that everything turns out well and that Sasuke keeps his common sense and does not allow himself to be manipulated neither by Itachi nor by Madara, and that he will guard his sense of morality – and I will hope that some of the questions that I adressed in my story (Itachi "advising" Sasuke to hate people and to kill his best friend, Sasuke trying to avoid becoming a tool, Itachi forgetting that Sasuke would not always remain the cute seven-year-old child who was too small to understand anything and who had to be protected against learning the truth) will also be adressed in the original.
