The Wedding Crashers

[This took a lot of work to put up, so enjoy! I probably won't update in the next week unless I get 9 reviews. That said, please enjoy everyone!

"Summer, you've got to go now," Sandy said to his son's girlfriend. He was surprised to see how attached Summer had become to Seth, seeing as Summer was the "independent woman" of the group.

"No...Cohen...don't leave me," Summer whined as she buried her face into her boyfriend's shoulder.

"Baby, you need to get ready for the wedding," Seth whispered into her ear.

"I don't want to. I want to go home with you and cuddle," Summer said softly.

"Don't make this hard on me, ok, or I'm going to relent," Seth mumbled.

"That's the point, now take me home with you," Summer returned. Ryan was busy saying the same typed of things to Marissa, who was a few feet away.

"I can't. I'll see you in a few hours though," Seth told her.

"I want you to stay..." Summer moaned into his ear. Seth looked over at his best friend, his eyes begging for help. Ryan shrugged helplessly.

"Marissa, we'll see each-other in a few hours," Ryan began, and then he added in a low, low whisper, "As soon as Sandy leaves to hang out with your dad, we'll sneak out." Marissa's face brightened.

"Come on Sum, I suppose we'd better let the boys go," Marissa said calmly, even though on the inside she was bursting with excitement.

"Wha...fine Coop," Summer grumbled.

"Bye girls," Sandy said, trying to keep from laughing.

"Bye Cohen," Summer called.

"See ya Ry," Marissa yelled.

"Boys, do you think they're a little unhealthily attached?" Sandy inquired.

"Um...no," Seth replied, feeling a bit defensive.

"It was just a joke," Sandy assured his sons. "Kind of..." he added under his breath, just loud enough that Ryan, who was sitting directly behind him, could hear. Sandy earned himself a "Please don't go there, because if you do..." warning glance from Ryan in the rear view mirror.

"Summer and Marissa were so depressed about the upcoming nuptials," Seth remarked.

"You can't just say 'wedding,' can you son?" Sandy jeered.

"No father, because then, you would have no material to work with," Seth grinned.

"Thanks then," Sandy returned.

"It just seems like there's nothing we can do," Seth continued.

"Actually, there might be," Ryan said thoughtfully.

"Don't do anything stupid," Sandy warned.

"If you don't want anything stupid to happen, I would suggest you don't let us go. But then Summer would rage black out on your ass, and Marissa would drown herself in alcohol, so I wouldn't recommend it," Seth replied.

"I suppose you're right," Sandy sighed, but he went on to chortle to himself.

"Now, what was that plan Ryan buddy? Are we going buddy cop?" Seth asked eagerly. Ryan just gave him a look, and promptly thereafter began whispering to Seth.

"Mmhm...I like it...yes...of course I do..." Seth muttered to Ryan. "Alright, sounds like a plan, excellent work RA," Seth said in a satisfied tone.

"Please not anything too crazy, I don't need Julie Cooper attacking me in my sleep because you guys burn her house down," Sandy told his boys as they pulled up to the house.

"Oh my god, dad, that is the greatest idea ever, too bad you guessed it and we can't use it anymore," Seth said sarcastically. Ryan nodded in agreement.

"Bye!" Ryan called as he and Seth ambled into the house. They changed into tuxes (worn at Summer and Marissa's insistence), and snuck out as soon as Sandy left.

"Coast is clear," Ryan said into his phone as he creeped out of the pool house.

"10-4 Ryan," Seth whispered as he walked down the stairs ever so stealthily.

"Seth Ezekiel," Kirsten said, grinning widely, "Where are you going?"

"To comfort my girlfriend, she's a mess at the moment," Seth replied as he tried to slip out the door.

"Not so fast," Kirsten said, grabbing his wrist.

"Mo-ther!" Seth whined.

"I am not letting you leave...without giving me a hug," Kirsten smiled.

"A fate worse than death," Seth mumbled.

"Hey!" Kirsten exclaimed.

"Fine, but only for a second," Seth agreed. They shared a quick hug, before Seth ran out the door. Kirsten rolled her eyes at Seth's goofiness. He ran back in and kissed her forehead lightly, and then he was gone again.

"You're so rad, honey!" Kirsten called.

"Hey, Ryan, let's get going," Seth said as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"You got the stuff?" Ryan asked.

"Hells yeah dude. You're gonna be amazed...I even picked something out especially for you and Mariss," Seth grinned.

"Oh god, please tell me it's not something really stupid and cheesy," Ryan groaned.

"No, it's really good, I don't own anything stupid or cheesy," Seth snickered. "Ok, really, it's good," said Seth seriously.

"Ok, I'm trusting you on this one, so you'd better be telling the truth," Ryan said.

"Ugh...I've gotta meet more of Summer's fam," Seth grumbled.

"They probably have heard a lot about you from Sum's dad," Ryan commented.

"Thanks a lot man," Seth mumbled.

"But you'll charm them with that Coheny charm," Ryan assured him.

"You sound creepily like my girlfriend," Seth said, sounding half alarmed and half bemused.

"Ew," Ryan muttered.

"Now there's an 'ew' even Summer would be proud of," Seth smiled.

"Good to know." Ryan replied.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––"Jimmy, please get my bouqet, Neil, fetch my tiara, Kaitlin,get me a drink, and Marissa--where is Marissa?" Julie demanded.

"I'm right here mom," Marissa said as she walked towards her mother in her flowing pale blue gown. A blue rose was fastened in her up do. Summer walked from behind dressed identically.

"Girls, you look lovely. I was starting to get worried, you were taking so long," Julie said, probing the girls for answers.

"I was looking for something borrowed for you mom, but I couldn't find Luke's puka shell necklace," Marissa replied innocently.

"No problem," Julie said, brushing it off for now. "Where are your lovely dates," she went on in a strained voice.

"Um, on their way," Summer put in.

"Marissa, dear, as Maid of Honor, you'll have to do some Maid of Honor-like duties," Julie said to her daughter.

"Um...hold that thought, Ryan's here," Marissa said, turning on her heel and walking out of the room.

"Oooh! Right behind you Coop!" Summer called as she picked up the train of her dress to run after her.

"Hello ladies, you're looking perfectly...snazzy Marissa, you're looking gorgeous as always Summer," Seth grinned at his girlfriend lovingly, and kissed her nose.

"Ryannn," Marissa smirked, and she kissed him handily.

"Ha, you'd almost think they were getting married. They seem much more like a happy couple," some random cousin remarked as he walked past. Marissa and Ryan broke their kiss in embarrassment.

"Hey, Cohen, I have something to show you upstairs," Summer murmured into her boyfriends ear seductively.

"Summer wants me to help her find her Chanel clutch, be back in 10 minutes," Seth called. Summer muttered something in his ear. "Make that fifteen," he amended.

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"Now, what was it you wanted to show me," Seth inquired of his girlfriend. They entered her room, in which he didn't detect a clue.

"I'm having a major issue, Cohen. I can't figure out...well, you'll see," Summer giggled.

"What is it, Sum, can't figure out which episode of The Valley is your favorite?" Seth sarcastically asked.

"Oh yeah baby, that's it," Summer replied, irony laced in her tone.

"I wanna know," Seth whined.

"Close your eyes," she ordered.

"Kay," he said, covering his eyes with his hands. He sat down carefully on her bed.

"Open 'em," she ordered. She had a bunch of lip glosses and lip sticks fanned out like a deck of cards in her hands.

"You wanna know which lip gloss to use? Honestly Sum, wouldn't Marissa have been a better consultant?" Seth asked.

"Not for what I have in mind, no. There are just somethings you can't even ask your best friend to do," Summer shrugged coyly.

"Do I want to know where you're going with this," Seth wondered innocently.

"I would think so. There's one way to find out..." Summer grinned, unscrewing the cap to a clear peach-flavored lip gloss. She coated it on her lips and leaned down and kissed Seth deeply. "Like that one?" Summer asked.

"I think so, but you have to do it again so I can be sure," Seth answered, catching on a bit. She applied some more, and kissed him again, placing her hands on his cheeks. "Mmm...ok, I'm not so sure, you'll have to try another," Seth grinned, ready and willing to take full advantage.

"If I recall, this is your favorite," Summer said, unscrewing the cap to a pink one called from Sugar Cosmetics. It added some sparkle to her lips. She sat herself down on his lap and kissed him once more.

"Ummm...sorry...I can't think strait anymore...mind doing that again?" Seth asked, grinning cheekily. "I'm in a bit of a daze, you see," Seth explained.

"I know the feeling," Summer whispered as she tumbled onto him entirely.

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After a long ceremony, described as "torturous" my Marissa, the reception began. There were about 200 people dispersed in the the Roberts mansion and by their pool. Soon, Marissa and John, Neil's brother, were supposed to make their toasts as Maid of Honor and Best Man. John make a quick, polite one, laced with sports references. Seth was "disgusted on the whole."

"I would love to thank everyone for coming tonight, especially my boyfriend/adopted step nephew, Ryan Atwood, my step sister/best friend Summer Roberts, and my best friend/step nephew Seth Cohen. I couldn't have made it this far without you. To my mom, who has made it possible for me to be related to all my best friends through her past two marriages, and to Neil, who has provided me with a mansion again. Cheers," Marissa grinned, raising her wine glass and trying her best not to chug it down.

"Well said, Riss," Seth told his step-aunt as she joined himself and Summer at their table.

"Seth, I hate to be the one to tell you, but you have sparkly lip gloss on your lips," Marissa smirked.

"Oh, um...yeah about that..." Seth tried to contain his smile.

"Here," Summer muttered as she wiped what remained of her gloss off Seth's lips. A photographer had captured the moment with a flash "Frack," she breathed, and Marissa burst out laughing. flash

"Seth, it's time," Ryan muttered into his friend's ear.

"Got it," Seth replied. He got up and ran behind the d-jay table and slid a disk into the machine. He ducked and rolled out from under the table. Everyone was oblivious because Julie was making some speech about the first time she'd met Neil, dropping Marissa off for Kindergarten. Ryan in turn rolled under the table, a bottle of super glue in hand. He ran towards their table, where Seth was waiting, along with Summer and Marissa.

The Way We Get By by Spoon started blasting in the speakers.

We get high in backseats of cars

We break into mobile homes

We go to sleep to shake up you

And then wake up on our own

"Oh my god, what the hell is that crap? Turn it off!" Julie screeched.

"You didn't. You wouldn't!" Marissa cried, laughing hysterically.

"Cohen, you are a genius," Summer smiled. Meanwhile, Marissa fell out of her chair, she was laughing that hard.

"Mariss, c'mon," Ryan said, helping Marissa back into her chair. Many men tried to yank the CD out, but the CD player had been super glued shut. When the song finished, Seth raised his eyebrows at Ryan.

"Marissa, dance with me," said Ryan.

"Um...wow Ryan, usually I have to drag you onto the floor...punching and brooding," Marissa stated. She was smiling.

"You're so radiant when you're happy," Ryan whispered into her ear.

"Are you trying to sweet-talk me?" Marissa inquired.

"Is it working?" Ryan asked back.

"Oh, I think so..." said Marissa softly, in that tone reserved for him. Forever Young By The Youth Group came on.

Let's dance in style, lets dance for a while

heaven can wait we're only watching the skies

hoping for the best but expecting the worst

are you going to drop the bomb or not?

Marissa and Ryan danced in the middle of the floor in a sea of people, while their friends looked on. Summer sat contentedly in Seth's lap. "Cohen, thanks for doing this, for Marissa. She needed it." Summer said to her boyfriend.

"Oh...it was nothing, really," Seth replied modestly.

"No it wasn't. You risked getting caught by Julie Cooper. I am so proud of you Cohen," Summer whispered, right onto his mouth. He kissed her softly.

"But I wanted to...do something for you, too. I wanted to...because...I...yeah," Seth said, suddenly at a loss for words.

"Hmm? What is it?" Summer asked lazily as she leaned against him. She played with his hands, studying them with rapt interest.

"One last song," Seth explained. The soft strumming of Ryan Adam's version of Wonderwall floated through the area.

"Cohen, you didn't..." Summer said, tearing up.

"I'm sweeping you off your feet," he smiled, rising up.

"The sad part is, you kinda are," Summer smiled.

Today is gonna be the day

That they're gonna throw it back to you

By now you should've somehow

Realized what you gotta do

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do about you now

And the two couples danced for a while, until someone yanked their CD out of the player, and the teens returned to their table and grumbled about how only Julie could possibly want to stop a Death Cab for Cutie Song. They were all pretty drunk by then. Ryan was actually the only one who could see strait. Sort of.

"Let's go eat the cake!" Summer exclaimed.

"OMG, how awesome would it be if they like came to cut the cake...but then we ate it first," Marissa cried gleefully.

"No...Riss...Sum...Seth...upstairs..." Ryan tried to string a sentence together, which was tough, cuz even sober, he sometimes had trouble.

"Let's go...upstairs..." Seth slurred.

"Cohen, are you asking me out on a date, cuz I wanna go on a date...like yes...yes..." Summer mumbled as she swayed.

With a lot of difficultly, and a whole lot of tripping, Summer, Marissa, Ryan and Seth made it upstairs. They fell onto Marissa's bed in an unorganized heap, the boys in tuxedos, sans ties, and the girls in elegant blue dresses, sans shoes. Newport Beach was a mess. Seth, Summer, and Marissa were a mess. But they were the most perfectly discordant mess you would find for miles and miles around.