Demons Among Friends
by Kevyn Pieters
Chapter 5
20 years later
Peter picked up the telephone. "Peter Clifford."
"Is that Bishop Clifford?"
"Yes, it is. How can I help you?"
"This is Aisling Kenny. I don't know if you would remember me or my father, Brendan Kearney."
"Yes, Aisling, how could I forget him? How is he? And your mother?"
"Mum died a couple of years ago, but it's Dad I need to speak to you about."
"I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. Siobhan was a good friend to me. May she rest in peace. How is Brendan?"
"He's seriously ill, and the doctors have told the family to come because his condition has become critical. He's sinking fast. He's been asking for you ... It's taken me a while to find you. Dad had lost your address. Eventually, a lady in Salford gave me your number. Can you come?"
Peter thought she sounded very upset. "Yes, of course I'll visit him. Where is he?"
"We're at the Bon Secours Hospital in Cork."
"Can you give me some contact details?" He beckoned his assistant to come across to him as he wrote down the numbers. He whispered, "Jaynie, I need to visit the deathbed of an old friend in Cork. Can you work out how I can get there fastest? It's urgent."
"Aisling, I've got all that. How are you bearing up? Do you have any family of your own with you?"
"It's a bit tough. Dad's in a lot of pain. He seems to be shrinking before our eyes. Yeah, I've got two daughters, three and six. Kevin, my husband, is on his way back from Australia; he won't be here until late tomorrow."
Jaynie pushed a piece of paper across the desk to him. "Aisling, I can get a flight into Cork tonight. I should be with you by midnight or a little before if the flights are on time. I'll text you when I've landed. Can you tell the hospital staff to expect me, otherwise, I should think the place will be locked up! If it helps, use my full title, Bishop of Valentiniana!!"
"Wow!"
"That's what I thought when I first heard it. But you tell everyone to call me Peter. Brendan will. Give him my love and tell him to hang on for me. Bye Aisling. God bless."
Having looked at the itinerary that Jaynie had written out for him, he asked, "Do you think I'd better pull out of the meeting with the Director of Education? I need to be sure to get that flight. I fear tomorrow morning will be too late."
"He won't be pleased."
"I know. But Brendan Kearney did more than anyone to sustain me in the priesthood at what was a desperately difficult time for me. If it were not for him, I'd be a retired social worker with children and grand children by now."
"Do you ever miss ..."
Peter interrupted quietly, "Jaynie, please don't go there."
She thought that the answer was written all over his face. "Bless you, Peter," she thought to herself.
- - - 888 - - -
It was after 1 a.m. when Peter was shown into Brendan's room. The flight had been late and there had been a wait for a taxi. They were all asleep and the lights had been dimmed. The nurse stepped quietly over to Aisling, who was asleep in an easy chair, and gently shook her shoulder. "Bishop Clifford's here."
Aisling looked up and saw Peter standing in the doorway. She rubbed her eyes, walked across to him, and said, "My Lord, thank you so much for coming."
Peter hugged her to him and said "Thanks for asking me to come. And, please call me 'Peter'. I feel such a fraud when people call me 'Lord'. It's so mediaeval. If you must be formal, 'Father' will do. These must be your daughters."
"That's Siobhan on the little bed. She's three. That's Assumpta curled up on the easy chair. She's six, and her grandad's pet."
At the mention of that name, his mind went into a whirl, but he thought it was just fantastic that Brendan should have a grandchild named after his late almost-adopted daughter. "How is Brendan?"
"Very weak. He's asleep now. They gave him a sedative a few hours ago, to help him sleep. He's been getting sore, which keeps him awake."
"Has he received the sacrament of the sick recently?"
"Not since he's been in this hospital."
"I'll anoint him, then."
"Shall I wake him?"
"No. That's not necessary."
"Do you need the lights up?"
He took Aisling by the arm. "Aisling, the lights are fine. This has been a dreadful strain on you, hasn't it?" She just nodded but Peter could see her moist eyes glistening. "All shall be well." And he blessed her.
Tiptoeing over to Brendan's bed, he noticed that both the little girls had golden red hair just like their mother and grandmother.
He sat on the edge of the bed. Brendan stirred but did not wake. He took out his pocket stole and ampule of oil and anointed Brendan. Dipping the edge of his right thumb in the oil and making a small cross with it on Brendan's forehead, he said, "Through this holy anointing, may the Lord in his love and mercy help you with the grace of the Holy Spirit. Amen." Anointing first Brendan's left and then his right hand, Peter said, "May the Lord who frees your sins save you and raise you up. Amen."
"What are you doing?" Little Assumpta was standing next to him looking curiously at the glistening oil on Brendan's head and hands. "What's that?" she said pointing.
Peter cleaned his thumb on a handkerchief and put his stole back in his pocket. "It's holy oil."
"Will it make him better?"
"It might. It depends on what God wants. But it will help him, one way or another."
"Peter, is that you?" Peter saw that Brendan's eyes were open. "Thanks for coming. Good to see you."
"And you, my old friend. How's the fishing around here?"
"Well, I'll not catch anything with you around making all this noise." With that he drifted off to sleep again, this time with a smile on his face.
Peter sat in the easy chair next to Brendan's bed. To his surprise, Assumpta climbed up into his lap and snuggled against his right arm and chest, pushing his pectoral cross out of her way. As she drifted into sleep, she sucked her thumb. Seeing Aisling gesture to her to take her thumb out of her mouth, Peter gently took her wrist in his free hand and moved her hand away from her face. As Assumpta's hand brushed against Peter's cross, she wrapped her fingers around it. With his right hand he gently stroked her long hair.
Peter, very tired now after a long and busy day, the evening flight to Cork and then ministering to Brendan, closed his eyes and let his thoughts wander over the day's events. He remembered that he hadn't texted Jaynie to confirm his safe arrival and contact details, and made a mental note that he must do that in the morning. In his mind's eye he saw a younger Brendan in his three-piece suits with a folded newspaper always under his arm, then fishing patiently in the river Angel by the bridge. He could hear the water tinkling through the stones at the shore and smell the trees behind him as he stood by Brendan. The smell of grass and heather of the Wicklow hills came to mind and the still waters of Lough Tay. The head that was against his chest belonged to his Assumpta, and the auburn hair that he stroked was hers too, and his heart swelled with love and his feelings reeled with a mixture of joy and despair in the knowledge that she did after all love him and that she had not known that he loved her to distraction. He could feel the tears trickling down his cheeks. The hair that he stroked was still his Assumpta's, but now she lay lifeless on the plinth at the mortuary. A tightness in his throat and in his chest was building. He could sense a great sob welling up inside him. He tried to breathe slowly to suppress it for fear of waking little Assumpta, but it convulsed him as he gasped for breath. Little Assumpta sat upright and looked closely at him; then using her hands wiped his tears and kissed his cheek before curling herself against his chest once more and returning to sleep.
Aisling had come over to him with a handkerchief. "What's wrong, Peter?"
"Just remembering what might have been. Sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you."
Peter felt a squeeze on his left hand. Turning his head, he saw Brendan looking up at him. A dreamless sleep overtook him.
When Peter awoke, it was daylight. Aisling was asleep on Brendan's bed, resting her head on his chest, and her grandad had an arm around her. Brendan was wide awake and was watching Peter. Aisling was still asleep with Siobhan in her arms.
"Peter, you were very distressed last night. Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a scene. It's just that there were so many reminders in this room. You were there when I was at my lowest. It was you and your friends who pulled me through."
"We did work hard at it. But I have no idea what we did that eventually changed you from lonely, broken and grief stricken to serene and at peace with yourself."
"Mainly, I think it was leaving but without leaving BallyK. I don't know the details - we aren't allowed to see our files - but someone must have impressed on the bishop that I had to be given a new direction but that to transfer me would break me completely. So, study leave was the answer. And you all worked hard at keeping me in touch. That bit of distance allowed a healing to take place. Remember when you sent me away to a monastery in Waterford?"
"Yes, but 'sent' is a little strong."
"Joking. But the Abbot there told me that I would have to let go my past disappointments and failures, to stop dragging them into the present, so that they could be transfigured for the future. That's more or less what happened. I couldn't let go while I was still in BallyK, but Rome and studying and some new friends distracted me, and before I realised it, the process had begun. The Abbot also told me that if loneliness was my cross then I had to make it a prayer. At the time, I thought he was talking nonsense and said so. But he was right."
"You were very fired up when you came back."
"I was a basket case! But now, when I think back to those days, with the aid of hindsight, when I think of Assumpta I see the bright sunshine of the love of God illuminating me through her everywhere I went and in everything I thought and did. If you see her before I do, bless her before the Lord, and tell her that I love her still. But just occasionally, remembrance of what might have been gets on top of me. She is still the love of my life and I miss her so much. And I have been well blessed in my friends, especially in you, Brendan."
Later in the morning, Brendan was much stronger and the nurses got him out of bed. He was sitting in the bedside chair when Peter returned from breakfast. Peter sat next to him and took his hand.
Assumpta came over to Peter and with her head on one side looked into his eyes. She whispered, "Fr Peter, why were you crying last night?"
"I was thinking of the lady you are named after."
Assumpta exclaimed, "You knew her? Tell me what she was like!"
"She was slim and very pretty, with pale skin and long dark brown hair with a touch of red in it. The red seemed stronger in sunlight. She was not quite as tall as your Mum. She was bright and intelligent. She was very kind and did a lot to help people, but she didn't like to make a fuss of it. She was a very good friend to me. But she had a fiery temper and could be very argumentative. She would tell people exactly what she thought. Some called her feisty. But deep down she was very lonely. Her parents hadn't been happy and they died when she was still a teenager. Your grandad was one of her school teachers and he looked out for her. When I knew her, she ran the pub in the village. Your grandma Siobhan and grandad Brendan were good friends and regular customers there. Is that enough for you?"
Assumpta looked thoughtful. "Did you love her?"
"I fell head over heels in love with her."
For some reason that made Assumpta giggle. "Did you ... erm ... do what married people do?" This brought a smile from Brendan and embarrassed shushing from Aisling.
Trying to keep a straight and earnest face, he answered, "No, I didn't even get to kiss her."
"Have you got a photo of her?"
"No, I never had one."
"Why didn't you marry her?"
"She died in an accident."
"So, you became a priest instead?"
"Sort of. It was a little more complicated than that."
Fortunately this conversation got no further as Assumpta was distracted by her mobile phone ringing. Her father was calling. He had just landed.
Peter commented to Brendan, "She takes after your Siobhan, doesn't she?"
Brendan just smiled wistfully.
When Siobhan and her husband Kevin took the children down to lunch leaving Peter alone with Brendan, Peter heard his confession and gave him absolution. Later in the day, Peter celebrated Mass for them in Brendan's room. Assumpta was thrilled to be asked to serve. Brendan managed one of the scripture readings. Peter used one of the Eucharistic Prayers for Children in place of the regular, more elaborate, 'Sunday' ones because of its simplicity and directness. And it was his favourite.
-- 888 --
On his return to England, Peter sent the following letter:
From Peter James Clifford BA BTh JCD
Bishop of Valentiniana
Auxiliary Bishop in the Archdiocese of Birmingham
My Dear Aisling,
I do thank you most sincerely for contacting me so that I could visit you, and see your father for one last time in this life. I am very sad that his life is drawing to an end. I know that his death will be a huge loss for you when it comes, but I pray that your own family will be sufficient consolation.
I am sorry that I could only stay with you a couple of days but, despite the unhappiness of the occasion, it was delightful to see you again, and to meet your husband and daughters for the first time.
At a very difficult time in my life, when I had not long been a priest and I was newly in Ireland, your mother and particularly your father did more than anyone to sustain me in my vocation to the priesthood. The Winding Cloth enclosed with this note was used to bind my newly consecrated hands at my ordination ceremony. Please place it in Brendan's hands at his burial as a gesture of my love and gratitude. He was like a father to me, as he had been over a greater span of years to my dear friend Assumpta Fitzgerald, who died so young and after whom your eldest daughter is named.
Please keep in touch.
I shall remember you all in my daily Masses and prayers. Please pray for me too.
My love to Brendan, Assumpta, Siobhan and Kevin and to yourself
Yours sincerely
† Peter C
8
