Where I Can Say
By: Lazi n Lonely Rei
Author's notes: Thank you all for the sweet reviews! I'm sorry it took me a hell long of a time to get this chapter out but I've been going through difficult times in my life. But no worries now! I'm COMPLETELY happy with my life because I made the steps to change it. I'll share a secret with you, I'm sure every girl feels this way at one point, I wish that I could get a guy who would do the things they do for the girl they love in the stories. Anyways, REVIEW!
Relena's POV:
The sun streaming through the curtains stretched like a long lazy cat across the bed. The bed was warm and toasty and I never wanted to open my eyes and get up. However the sun beckoned me, nagging me in the back of my mind, to wake up. (AN: that's how I'm like when I wake up) Sitting up in a flash before I could argue anymore in my mind, I looked around my room. In the mirror across the bed I could see myself. My hair in a mess and getting up I took a brush and brushed my hair. As I brushed my hair, in the reflection of the mirror, I could see a bush of chocolate hair peeking out from under the covers.
He suddenly shifted and moved the covers. Groaning he snuggled deeply into the pillow. The corners of my mouth shifted upwards and I could suddenly see his face. Smooth skin, lips drawn into a thin line, snoring softly. After brushing my hair and changing into proper clothing that I would sleep in, I shifted back into the bed.
I never wore a dress to sleep, I always looked like I came back from the gym or something. I wore baggy pants and a tank top. Instead of lying back down, I sat up against the plush pillows against the headboard. I stared off into space, deciding. Making up my mind of what to do.
I guessed I sat there thinking for an hour with my husband next to me, snoring softly. My eyes grew heavy as I finally made up my mind. Sighing softly, I laid back down into the comforter. I fell into a very light sleep.
It didn't last long because Heero shifted and woke me up. We both turned to face each other and finally opened our eyes to stare into each others. I laughed at how silly the entire motion it was. Resuming my previous position of sitting up, I stared down at him. He remained laying down staring up at me.
I nudged him up with a thin small smile, saying, "Come on, we have to talk."
Heero's POV:
It was as if she read my mind. Shaking any last feelings of wanting to sleep I got up and rubbed my eyes. Yeah, we did have to talk. But I was afraid.
Afraid of what she might say. So I started first. "Relena…listen." She stared at me with curiosity, sweet innocent layering above her beautiful complex personality. "I want to make this marriage work. Not because I have to or feel like I have to. But because," I took her small hand in mines and continued. "I want to make this work. Because if I don't, I'll lose you. And I don't want to lose you."
Staring at her was like a treasure. Being even remotely close with her was like this fuzzy sappy moment in the movies. "And if you're wondering why, it's because…I love you. I know I made a lot of mistakes in this marriage, but I'm willing to fix it. I'm sorry for…"
"Stop." The word she whispered was simple and I stopped yapping and let her speak. She took in a breath in as if deciding her next movement. "I want my life back." The way she said it made me feel as if she wanted the divorce no matter what. "I want to get a job. I'll work a real job but I'll still do my band… if they accept me back, as a side job. I'll make you a deal. We'll keep this marriage; work at it, whatever, for six months. If it doesn't work out…you have to promise me to sign the divorce papers without a hassle."
She stared at me. Flicking her eyes back and forth between me and something behind me. I leaned closely to her and I could feel her tense. I know she wasn't ready for a kiss on the lips but I couldn't resist being far from her. I kissed her cheek, close, very close, to her lips. I gave her a rare smile and nodded. She sighed as if in relief.
I made a promise inside myself. That no matter how hard it was, that I'd try to keep her. "So, what's this job you want?" I said trying to lighten up the mood.
She smiled and laid back into the bed. "First, I want more sleep." I laughed and lay down beside her. Pulling myself closer to her to test the waters, I rested against her. She gave me the OK when she grabbed lightly on my hand at her waist. Breathing in her scent of an exotic perfume that I'm sure would only fit her; I fell into deep relaxing slumber.
A few days later…
"So what do you think about this one?" Relena shifted the screen towards me. We've been looking for another house since I'm sure both of us didn't want to be back in a mansion where we both had bad memories. She wanted something small while I wanted something that looked like a mansion.
The picture on the screen was a mansion. With an iron gate and all that stuff. It was small because it was only a few acres. Instead of having a pool, it had a man-made pond you could swim in. The water was clear and clean and all that stuff. There was a large garden with lush trees, however there were no flowers. The mansion inside was really nice. There was a large kitchen, a large dining room next to a ball room, five bathrooms and nine bedrooms. The floors were wooden and the stairs were wooden too. There were nice chandeliers in the living room, dinning room, ballroom, and smaller ones in the halls. There was a pretty decent size of lobby, smaller than my mansion but big enough to look decent for a party.
"Let's check it out." I replied.
(AN: I'm skipping around for the sake of content.)
We bought it within a matter of two weeks and we settled easily into the new house. It wasn't that hard to find our way around. As I went to work and came back to the house during my two hour lunch break, I watched as Relena looked for a job.
She had a degree in business law and a minor in psychology. But she still wasn't sure what to do for the rest of her life. I didn't want to say much to her about her job because I wanted her to pick any job that would make her happy.
Sometimes…there was this far away look in her eyes especially when she winced in pain. Relena had refused to get any physical therapy stating that she had many injuries previously and she could get herself well. After feeling the pain she put herself through sometimes, she would simply sit somewhere, even on the floor, and stared emptily into space. I wondered a lot what she was thinking about but was afraid to ask.
What if she was thinking of the divorce? What if she was thinking about all the things I've done?
Somewhere…I can imagine, in a parallel universe we would be pregnant and having a child soon.
And yet even though I wanted it to see it happen in reality, I knew we were worlds away. Our lives were entwined at only one point and we were both strangers to each other even though we see each other almost everyday. It's like being in high school where you saw familiar faces yet you were still strangers.
I didn't want to be a stranger to her. I wanted to know everything about her, everything there is to know. I wanted her to know me too the exact same way and yet…since the marriage, we've drifted so far away.
End of Chapter.
Author's Notes: This story might be altered a little. I don't really like some of the chapters so I might do a rewrite. Also the format of the layout of how the story will be written will also change. It's no big deal about the new layout, it'd be easier for readers to understand. Anyways REVIEW! I know there's not much point to this chapter but I wanted to show you a happy moment Heero and Relena shares.
