Chapter Four – Famine and Thirst
"Why won't you eat?" Hope smiled at Tetsu over the table.
"I'm not very hungry." Well, that was untrue – he was, but he could not find the appetite for vegetables. "Why do you want me to eat?"
"You don't have to," she said, still smiling. "But you are so thin. I just want to keep you healthy, dear boy."
"I thought skinny was good." (He had been watching television again.)
"Healthy is better."
"You have a point." So humans did have some sense, after all. He saw many things that puzzled him, living with Hope, and one of them was the way humans starved themselves. He could understand the wish to avoid obesity – it made it difficult to run and hunt – but being too thin was never good, either. It made you weak.
What intrigued him most of all was the human ability to accept paradoxes. He had seen countless examples during the weeks, and one of his favourites was directly connected to starvation. He would see it on television: right after an advertisement for weight loss cures, there would be a plea for donations to relief organisations – to save people from starving.
Hope had looked at him very strangely when he laughed at this, so he had tried to keep his mirth silent afterwards.
But right now, he needed meat. He contemplated paying a visit to one of Hope's so called friends, but remembered how upset she had been last time one of them kicked the bucket. She hadn't smiled properly for several days, and had worn nothing but black for over a week. She had only just started to laugh again, and he didn't want her to stop.
Besides, they were probably tough as hell on the teeth.
"I'm going out tonight," he said, as he placed his plate in the sink and reached over for the sugar bowl.
"Of course," said Hope vaguely, fiddling with the coffee pot. "Have a nice time."
"I may not be back until tomorrow."
"Well, you know where the key is."
"I'll do the dishes before I go so don't you dare start on them."
She turned then, and put her hand to his cheek.
"You're such a sweet boy," she said.
He didn't realise until much later how used he had become to being touched by this human, and how fond he had become of the feeling of her hands on his face. Every time she patted his cheek he felt like rolling up beside her and purring...
I'm turning into a bloody cat, he thought sardonically, a domesticated bloody wuss. He snorted at the thought. It didn't bother him as much as it should have, though.
He dressed well for the evening, and left after telling Hope again that he might not be back. He didn't plan to stay out too long, but you never knew – he might find some meat that was fun to play with for a while before devouring. He made his way quickly to the centre of town, passing as a goat-like creature, easily mistaken for a dog in the poor light, under the eyes of the guards outside a night club and regaining human form once inside. The place was thronged despite the relatively early hour, and he wrinkled his nose at the already much too inebriated youngsters pushing around him. Looked like it'd be fast food tonight...
When the bartender looked the other way for a moment he swiped a drink off the bar top and made his way into the main room, looking around himself with interest and evaluating everything he laid his eyes on. No... too small, too brawny, too unhealthy, too high... Tetsu had made the mistake of dining on a doped up human once; not an experience he wanted to relive... too skinny, too skinny, too skinny, bloody hell – humans would starve themselves, wouldn't they? It annoyed him immensely. There was hardly enough meat on the average bloke about town to keep him satisfied for more than a few days at the most.
Wait... here was something. A chubby redhead, with round arms and cheeks that seemed to have been made for him to bite. She would do him nicely for tonight. But still...
Still, he hesitated. There was something wrong with her. She was too... too...
Happy.
... heavily made up, Tetsu determined. That was it. (He did hate the taste of cosmetics.) Best to let her go, and find another.
Ah, Tetsu, you've lived too long among humans. You've begun to grade your potential victims, giving them different value, ranking them in the order your human conscience tells you is right. As if humans have different worth, as if someone has a greater right to live because she's young and happy and full of hopes for the future. Does she really? Do you earn life?
He settled in the end for a young man with wildness in his eyes. Partly because he had muscled forearms that just about made Tetsu drool, and partly because he seemed to promise for an interesting feed. But also because there were hints of a life in loneliness, and it might be that there was no one who would miss him if he disappeared.
So does a death matter less if there is no one to mourn it, Tetsu? Why are you even asking these questions? Once you fed indiscriminately, a hungry animal – now you doubt and hesitate. Half creature, half human; you've turned into a centaur.
He returned home in the early hours, happy and well-fed. The house was dark and quiet as he retrieved the key from underneath the large white geranium below the kitchen window and unlocked the front door. He'd have to walk softly, so as not to disturb Hope – she was such a light sleeper. Yawning hugely he entered the house, working his shoulders. He had eaten and played, and now he wanted to sleep on one of those dangerously comfortable human beds.
He found Hope on the living room floor.
