Title: Unexpected Places 2/?

Author: SP

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider and whoever else own everything. Drake and Josh own their own birthdays, and Josh owns his middle name.

Rating: K+

Pairing: still kinda gen

Summary: Because of the evil Mrs. Hayfer, Drake is stuck doing a project with that dorky Josh Nichols. But it turns out to be not so bad after all…AU.
Author's Notes: They completely pwned me. I did not mean for this to happen this way.

The next day, Josh greeted Drake with a smile and a "Good morning, Drake!"

Drake, feeling as though he had déjà vu, quickly replied, "Morning," and then turned his attention to Monica, the girl who sat in front of him. "Heeey, Monica," he began.

She turned around and gave him a flirty smile. "Hey, Drake," she replied with a giggle.

"So, I was thinking that after school today we should go--"

Before Drake could say where they should go, Josh interrupted. "Drake!"

Drake turned and scowled at the other boy. "What?" he snapped.

Josh looked hurt, and said softly, "We were going to work on our project today."

Drake groaned. "Oh yeah." He turned back to Monica. "Well, I was going to say that we should go see a movie, but I have to work on this stupid biography assignment." Drake very deliberately didn't look at Josh as he said that. Yeah, he'd said only last night that the assignment would be okay, but he had coolness to uphold.

Monica, looking as though she felt very sorry for him, replied with a pout, "Already?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we could go tomorrow," Monica suggested, with another flirty smile.

Josh started to say something, but Drake didn't let him. "Yeah, let's go tomorrow. We--"

The bell rang, and Mrs. Hayfer entered the classroom. "Good morning, class. Today we're going to…"

Drake stopped paying attention and pulled out his notebook to add to his doodles. He started working on a picture of Mrs. Hayfer falling into a chasm. After completing Mrs. Hayfer herself and the sides of the crevasse, and before adding the sharp rocks at the bottom, Drake finally glanced sideways at Josh. He felt kind of bad about completely forgetting the project. Josh still looked hurt. Drake guessed it was because he had set up a date for the next day. He knew they were supposed to work on the project then, but Josh did say he was working at the Premiere tomorrow. Drake figured he could multitask, and work with Josh and make out with Monica at the same time. Well, not at the exact same time…Monica came first.

Drake spent the rest of the period lost in a steamy fantasy, sharp rocks forgotten.

--

After school, Drake took about ten steps confidently down the street, and then stopped as he realized he had no idea where Josh actually lived. He knew it was somewhere sort of close by, because he'd seen Josh walking in before, whereas Drake lived far enough that he had to catch a ride unless he wanted to leave at least forty-five minutes early. But knowing that wasn't helping him get to Josh's house.

He turned around as he heard the tick-tick-tick of a bicycle being walked down the street, hoping it would be Josh.

It was, and he came to stop when he drew even with Drake. "You don't know where you're going, do you?" he asked quietly.

"Not really," Drake admitted.

"I figured. Come on, you were at least headed in the right direction." And Josh started walking.

Drake bit his lip as he watched, then hurried to catch up. "Are you okay?" he blurted out.

Josh glanced at him, but didn't slow down. "Sure," he answered, still sounding subdued.

"Really?"

Josh sighed, started walking faster. "I know I'm sort of invisible, but I didn't think I was quite so forgettable."

Drake winced. "Josh--"

"I'm used to being ignored, especially by you, but we just planned to work on this yesterday."

Drake had to jog now to keep up with Josh's longer strides. "I know--"

"And if you didn't want to do this, you should have just said so," Josh continued. "Instead of lying and saying you would enjoy working together."

"I didn't lie to you!" Drake shot back.

"Oh really? Then why did you tell Monica that you had to work on the 'stupid biography project' all the while sounding like there was nothing you'd rather do less?" The amount of venom in Josh's voice at Monica's name was really quite astounding, considering how nice a guy Josh was, Drake thought.

"I--you're not--Monica--I have to--" Drake changed his mind every time he started to speak. Everything he thought of saying would probably just hurt Josh more. "It's the spectrum thing," he said finally, recalling what Josh had said the night before.

"Right," Josh said, a bitter smile crossing his face. "Of course. You can't be seen actually having a real conversation with me, or your coolness will drop by twenty percent, right?"

"Thirty," Drake replied, without thinking.

Josh pressed his lips together and sped up even more.

Drake felt like slapping himself. "Josh, wait, that wasn't what I meant."

Josh shook his head. "No, I get it. Let's just get this done."

The rest of the walk to Josh's house was done in silence. When they arrived, Josh pointed to the kitchen table. "Sit."

Drake obeyed.

Josh retrieved the notebook from the night before, then sat opposite him.

"Basics first," he said shortly. "Full name?"

"Drake Parker."

Josh paused before writing it down. "Middle name?"

"No."

Josh looked up. "No you're not telling me, or no you don't have one?"

"Don't have one."

Josh looked back at his notebook. "Birthday?"

Drake sighed. "June 27."

"Family?"

Drake frowned. "I know you're probably talking to me as little as possible, but please stop with the one-and-two-word questions."

"Who's in your immediate family?" Josh clarified, glaring over his notebook.

Drake dropped his eyes. "My mom Audrey Parker and my little sister Megan Parker."

"Closest friends?"

Drake refrained from pointing out that Josh was doing it again. "I don't really have friends."

Josh raised an eyebrow. Drake was impressed for about a second--that was actually a really neat skill. But then Josh started talking. "Oh really? You don't have friends. Funny, I thought you were super-popular and all that."

Drake shook his head. "No, I am. But…none of the people around me are real, y'know? Not one of them really knows anything about me." He paused thoughtfully. "Maybe Trevor does. He's been my friend since like eighth grade. But I still wouldn't consider him close to me."

Josh looked up from his notes. "Really?" he asked, sounding curious despite himself.

"Yeah," Drake admitted. "I bet you have real friends."

Josh immediately nodded. "Completely."

"Well, some days I think that I'd trade my huge group for three or four real friends any time. Other times, I think I'm happy with what I have. And other times, I just wish there was one person who really got me. You have someone who gets you, right?"

"I do," Josh replied. "Mindy is like my best friend."

Drake unintentionally wrinkled his nose. "Mindy Crenshaw?"

"Do you have a problem with her?" Josh asked testily.

"Yeah, but no bigger than the one she has with me. We have a mutual dislike."

"I knew that," Josh said. "She's tried to stop badmouthing you since--" Josh stopped speaking abruptly.

Attributing it to Josh's anger, Drake asked hesitantly, "Aren't you two dating?"

Josh shook his head. "We broke up awhile ago."

"Sorry."

"I'm not. We're better as friends. For lots of reasons." Josh shrugged.

Drake frowned, trying to figure it out. "So…she's your ex, but she's also your best friend?"

"I take it you're not friendly with any of your exes?"

"Pfft, I'm barely friendly with my current girlfriends. I told you, none of it is real." Drake felt suddenly self-conscious. "Hey…you're not going to put any of this in your biography, are you?"

Josh sized Drake up. "No," he said finally, "not if you don't want me to. As long as you do the same for me. Nothing we don't want written gets written. Deal?"

"Deal," Drake agreed immediately. Then, tentatively, "Look, I'm sorry about forgetting we were working on this project today. And--"

Before Drake could finish, Josh interrupted, "Did you forget, or were you just trying to separate yourself from me? You know, to keep your coolness rating from dropping thirty percent?"

Drake flinched. "I honestly forgot. You'll probably find out that I'm terrible with that kind of thing. And also, before you interrupted, I was going to say I'm sorry for my attitude. And making a date tomorrow, but I guess I thought it would work out--you work at the Premiere, I'd take Melissa there. I could multitask."

"Monica," Josh said.

Drake tilted his head slightly. "Huh?"

"You said you'd take Melissa there. But you asked out Monica."

Drake colored faintly. "Oh."

"You really don't care about the girls you date as individuals, do you? It's all about making out and getting as many as you can."

Drake suddenly became very interested in the tabletop. "I guess so."

"You don't make much sense, Drake. You say you wish you had real friends. But the sort of people that would be real friends to you are the kind of people you avoid for being uncool."

Drake shrugged wordlessly.

Josh sighed. "I accept your apology. Besides, if we're going to do this project right, we need to at least be civil to each other."

"Right," Drake agreed.

"Okay then. So, what--"

"Josh?" Drake interjected.

Josh stopped in the middle of his next question. "What, Drake?"

"If it wouldn't work for you, then that's okay, but do you think we could--talk, like we were actually having a conversation? I feel kind of weird just answering your questions."

Josh glanced down at his notebook. "I guess so. But that eliminates our alternating system."

Drake shrugged. "That's okay. We'll both find stuff out about each other at the same time. It'll work."

"Only if you take notes too," Josh replied, tearing out a piece of notebook paper and pushing it toward Drake, along with a pen.

Drake made a face, but picked up the pen. "So, what do you have about me so far? My name and birthday and family? Give me yours."

"Joshua Michael Nichols, November 10, and my dad Walter Nichols," Josh rattled off.

Drake scribbled furiously. When he was finished, he said, "And you asked me about my friends. Tell me about yours."

"Well, there's Mindy, of course. I told you about her. And since you hate her, I guess you must know something about her."

Drake tried to defend himself, "She hates me too!"

Josh smiled. "Oh, I know."

"Actually, you were saying something earlier--about how she's stopped badmouthing me? What were you going to say?" Drake asked curiously.

Josh blushed. "It doesn't matter."

"Sure it does," Drake protested.

Josh shook his head. "No, you really don't need to know."

Suddenly, a look of horror crossed Drake's face. "Just please tell me she doesn't have a crush on me."

"She doesn't," Josh muttered.

"So who does?" Drake asked with interest.

Josh, sounding sort of panicked, quickly answered, "What? No one. Or well, someone probably does. But I don't know."

Drake frowned. "Okay…so, hey, if you and Mindy broke up, does she have another boyfriend?"

"Not that I know of. I think I kind of broke her heart, actually."

"And you're still friends?"

"Well, it wasn't my fault. She understands."

"Do you have another girlfriend?"

For some reason, Josh scoffed. "Ha, no. That's not going to happen."

Drake was never very good at reassuring people. "You'll find someone else."

"I'm sure I will find someone," Josh replied. "Just--anyway, you asked about my friends, but we've only talked about Mindy. There's also Craig and Eric."

Drake nodded. "Oh yeah, they're those two nerds, right? No offense," he added quickly.

Josh grinned. "We're all nerds and we know it. It's okay. So yeah, they are. They're great. Sometimes talking to them is like talking to--I don't know, my elderly neighbors, but they're both really good at seeing a situation objectively."

Confused, Drake asked, "Why is talking to them like talking to old people?"

"Not old people so much as an old married couple," Josh clarified.

"Are they?"

"Are they what?"

"A couple."

Josh made a movement suddenly, the sort people make when they let things slip by mistake. "Um, no."

Drake smirked. "Has anyone ever told you you're a terrible liar?"

Josh sighed in resignation. "All the time. You're not going to tell anyone, are you? They don't want anyone to know. And do you mind?"

Drake shook his head. "My philosophy is that if someone makes you happy, you should be together, whether it's a girl or a guy. Doesn't matter. And I won't tell. I understand secrets."

"Yeah? So you have a lot of them?"

Drake shrugged. "Sort of. Maybe, if you're lucky, you'll find out a few of them." And he winked.